Kissing the Shark (Maritime Monsters #1)

Chapter 18- Razorjaw

CHAPTER 18- RAZORJAW

I AM SITTING at the MM café, enjoying a plate of the potato sticks known as french fries. I am still not partial to most land food, but this simple starchy dish is more than adequate for me. Losing fish is a small price to pay to spend my lunch hours with my friends —fellow humans.

These are my people now. I am sitting next to Skyler and Ardsley as they chat away and chew on their respective meals. Ardsley is detailing his latest vacation while Skyler laughs along. While I am still unfamiliar with all of their customs —traversing in the metal flying machines for several hours sounds distressing —I am learning day by day. Skyler and Ardsley include me in so much of their daily banter. Best of all, my mate is growing closer to me.

I recall the intimacy we shared a few days ago —third base? Blow job? Fellatio? Some other term? —and sigh in contentment. I do not ever wish to be without him.

But his work is running late, so he texted me, stating to have lunch with his friends without him. So here I am, in my human form, in a blue work polo shirt, eating potatoes.

“That’s wild!” Skyler says, pointing at Ardsley’s phone. He swipes and several images flash through. “I can’t believe he paid for all of it.”

“I know,” Ardsley says with a shrug. “I told him not to, but he insisted.” He smiles wistfully, looking up. “Tyson really spoils me.”

“That’s what boyfriends are for,” Skyler says. He hands the phone to me. “Check this out, Mr. Shaughnessy.”

I peer at the photos: Ardsley and Tyson are having a joyous time surrounded by colorful buildings and trimmed foliage. Skyler swipes, and I see more of their happiness. Some of the photos are with creatures most bizarre. “I have never seen monsters like those.”

Ardsley and Skyler snicker—I know this to mean that my naivety is showing. “Those are character costumes,” Ardsley says.

“Ah.” That explains why that tall mouse character looks more plastic than shifter.

“They’re from a theme park.” Skyler’s smile drops. “Wait, do you know what a theme park is?”

I gulp and look down. “A…park is a public area with grass.”

“Yeah, but a theme park is way cooler. They have rides and experiences,” Skyler says.

I want to ask what a ride is, but I do not enjoy the turn this conversation has taken. I do not wish to draw attention to my lack of experience on land. Thank monster god Karlo is not here for this.

“And we got to eat in the castle,” Ardsley says. “He really went all out for my birthday.” He sighs and swipes through his phone. “I really love this man.”

“How could you not? He spent so much for you to eat in the princess castle!”

“Princess castles are real?” I ask.

The pair once again laughs softly. “Kind of,” Ardsley explains. “It’s a form of entertainment. The theme park allows you to recreate different fairy tales.”

“That sounds most enjoyable,” I remark. “Why have we not gone there every weekend?”

Skyler snorts. “Because it costs several hundred just to walk in. Dinner at the castle is another couple hundred. And oh yeah, I’m not made of money.”

Of course, finances. “Neither is Tyson. Which is why I was so shocked he treated me to all this!” Ardsley explains, swiping through his pictures. The affection he has for Tyson is undeniable.

“Well, he wants to treat you, to show you he’s all in. You’re his happily-ever-after. His princess, er…his prince,” Skyler says, poking his friend’s shoulder.

“Very funny. We haven’t even been dating a year.” Ardsley shrugs and smiles again. “But yeah, he’s kind of stolen my heart. It’s early, but I can’t see myself being with anyone else.”

“Aw,” Skyler coos. “Our little eel has found his perfect match!” He attempts to pinch Ardsley’s cheeks, but Ardsley shifts into his purple eel face and growls. Even I have to laugh at that.

The two of them discuss ways for Ardsley to spoil Tyson for his birthday. All of their ideas are rebutted by the sheer idea of money. I have always known about capitalism, but I never needed to “treat” someone, as they say. But Ardsley is considering new personal computers, more theme parks, renting luxury automobiles, and something called “courtside basketball tickets.” When they look up the prices, even a na?ve monster like me knows those amounts are gargantuan.

Still, Ardsley and Tyson are clearly in love. And I could not even purchase a simple chair for my beloved. In the ocean, being strong and fast was enough to make me a prime mate. But on the surface…I need money?

That evening, Karlo and I share a picnic dinner by the dock outside of the Institute. This is a new tradition, one I wish to hold onto for eternity. I trace circles around his thigh as we watch the sun go down. He lays his head on my shoulder on occasion, an act he taught me is cuddling, and it makes me fall more in love with him. I am even learning to tolerate these “PB & J” sandwiches. This strange human food makes Karlo happy, so it makes me content as well.

Karlo tells me about the past two days. Apparently his credit card fell down a drain, and he is in the midst of the arduous task of getting it reinstated. I nod along even though I do not understand his fear of getting his identity stolen. He claims the bank is being difficult, but I do not mention that I would simply assert my dominance by eating part of the bank. According to Aunt Sarah, that is not how to resolve disputes on the surface.

He also tells me about his cousin’s recent difficulties with being accepted into a university. Karlo chastised him, stating that he did not complete schoolwork as instructed. I know nothing of this process, and it reminds me that I have no formal education. So much of Karlo’s life is incomprehensible to me. How could he want me to be his mate?

When he stops talking, I look down to see him already studying me. “Hey. You okay?”

“Yes,” I say, sitting upright.

“Where’d you go?”

“I am…seated here.”

He snickers. “I mean, where’d your mind wander off to, baby?” He rubs my cheek and I sigh at the touch.

“My mind is…right here.” I do not have the courage to share the truth. Confronting vulnerabilities is more frightening than being spotted by a killer whale much larger than you.

He smiles and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me in. “I’ve been droning on and on about my drama. How was your day?”

“It…went well. Skyler and I released the now-rehabilitated pelican.”

“Amazing! I heard about that!” Karlo’s praise means so much to me. “Great work, RJ.”

“Thank you.”

I lean to kiss him, but he moves his face away. “So, I’ve been thinking…”

“Yes?”

“Um…you can say no.”

“What?”

I clears his throat. “My parents are holding a big end-of-summer barbecue upstate next weekend. All their friends and some of my family will be there. I’m expected to go, but…” He taps my knee and gazes at the water. “I would…like you to come.”

I gasp. I read about this: meeting the family is a huge milestone in courtship rituals. “Yes!” I yelp.

“Really?”

“As your potential mate, I would be honored to accompany you.”

He snorts. “Cool it with the mate stuff. Boyfriends is adequate.”

My heart lights up like a school of jellyfish. I lean in and kiss him softly. “The label of boyfriend is a privilege I do not take lightly, Karlo Castillo,” I murmur against his mouth.

“Well, good. Because I like being boyfriends with you too.” We both chuckle and kiss more, listening to the sounds of the waves lapping around us. It is as if we are alone. Karlo makes me feel like I am the only maritime monster to ever exist.

“Aww.” The sounds of splashing and a familiar voice break us apart.

Karlo coughs. “Oh, Miss Shaughnessy, I am so sorry, we—”

“Oh, don’t apologize, kid.” She sits on the dock, a few feet to my left. Mother has successfully leaped out of the water and ruined our moment.

I huff in frustration. “Mother. What can we do for you?”

“I was just hoping to visit my son.” She shrugs. “And it seems he’s preoccupied. We haven’t caught a meal together in weeks.” She smirks at Karlo. “I can see why, though.”

My face burns hot, but before I can retort, Karlo stands up.

“It’s cool. I gotta go back to my place. I have a ton of laundry to do. But you two stay and catch up.”

I raise a finger. “But we —”

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, baby. I promise.” He beams at me, and I know it is a promise he will keep.

He cleans up the picnic and bids us both goodbye. My heart aches as I watch him stroll to his car, but that is nothing new. When I turn to my left, Mother is already smirking at me.

“Shall we go hunt for tuna?” I shift into my hybrid form, ready to leap off the dock.

“In a minute,” Mother says, tapping my arm. “Tell me how things are going with Karlo!”

I gulp. “They are…progressing.”

“Clearly.”

I sigh, and Mother must notice. “What’s wrong? Is he not the person you wanted?”

“It is not that. I just…” I play with my tail wrapped around my right hip. “I feel…not secure in my ability to be his mate.”

“What do you mean, Son?”

I frown and stare at the setting sun. “His world is so different than mine. He tells me all about the complexities of being a land dweller. I know nothing of credit cards and theme park tickets.” I tug on my tail. “What if I never catch on?”

“Now you see why I renounced my life on land,” Mother mutters. She wraps her arm around me, her tiny body leaning into mine. “Son, please go easy on yourself. Has Karlo ever asked any of that from you?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Has he ever given any indication that he’s thinking of quitting your relationship?”

Not yet. “Um…he invited me to his parents’ home.”

“There you go! He’s taking this just as seriously as you!”

I nod, and my heart feels lighter. “Perhaps you are correct.”

“Of course I am, I’m your mother.” We both laugh, and I hug her smaller body. “You can learn all that boring financial stuff on the way. You’re a great mate for Karlo, just trust yourself.”

“Thank you.”

She lets go and taps her knees. “Now, shall we go devour some tuna?”

I laugh. “I have been waiting all day.”

With a splash, Mother and I dive into the water, and my soul feels lighter.