Knot Broken (Hiddenverse)

27. Lilah

CHAPTER 27

Lilah

I can feel the burn in my cheeks as I exit the ceremony room. The heat between Miles and me is off the charts, and I can’t deny it.

It more than makes up for Rafe’s dismissal. The way his eyes barely touched me before lighting up on Chad. It makes my heart hurt just remembering it. Apparently, Chad’s plan is working.

“I knew they would pick you next. Now let's hope they have some sense and send Blair or Hailey home. Both if we are lucky,” Chad says as soon as I enter the living room.

“I didn’t think I’d want to stay so badly,” I say honestly.

He presses his lips together, holding back a sympathetic smile. “I will always want to stay. But I think it will be me who comes in second place.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “Right. Did you not see the way Rafe looked at you?”

“Like I am a life preserver in the middle of an ocean?” He leans back into the couch cushions with a knowing grin.

“Exactly like that,” I sigh, sinking down next to him.

“Girl, I told you already that he’s already half in love with you. He doesn’t see anyone else the same way he sees you. I’m the true shield with him because he’s afraid of what you make him feel.”

His words should be reassuring, but all they do is wake up the angry hornets in my stomach. I finger the bow on the detachable lid of the gift Miles gave me. Knowing the trinkets are all the same makes it feel less exciting than it would to get a real gift from an alpha who’s courting you.

But my heart still skips a beat as I lift the lid off of the box. A crystal rose lays on a red velvet pillow, golden leaves grace the stem. It’s beautiful. A slip of paper sits next to the delicate rose. Lifting it, I read the words.

‘It’s love. Believe it.’

“What’s that?” Chad says, attempting to peek over my shoulder.

I crumble the paper in my fingers, the breath caught in my throat as I shake my head mutely.

“Girl, no secrets, they ruin relationships,” Chad says, eyeing me with interest.

“Nothing.” The word gets stuck in my throat, and I clear it. “It’s nothing.”

He huffs out a sarcastic sounding laugh. “O-kayyy.”

I’m saved from the conversation when Ben steps into the room. He’s the omega from that first night that Chad insulted.

“Ben, you made it. And third choice too. Look at you not disappointing your parents some more.”

“Chad,” I hiss out of the corner of my mouth while slapping his leg.

Ben ignores us both as he settles into the armchair. He focuses on opening the box and lifting the rose up to the light of the room to examine it. I eye his empty box, looking for a slip of paper. There isn’t one.

In fact, each of the omegas to receive a trinket, including Hailey and Blair, do not have a note .

Willow sinks down next to me with a sigh. “Can you say nerve wracking?”

I laugh. “A little intense. But I’m glad you’re still here.”

Her lips twist in a sardonic smile as she pins me with a look. “Yeah, but I still feel like they hold something back with me.” She shrugs and shakes her head as if to remove the thought. “Or maybe it’s me.” Her attention drifts to one of the cameramen she watches; he’s openly staring back. I wonder if there’s something to that.

Chad leans forward to look at her before saying, “They give me their all. At this point, I’ve won.”

Willow laughs, tugging her eyes from the beta across the room. “You have all the confidence in the world. You should share that with us lower omegas,” she jokes.

His lack of filter no longer surprises me, and I roll my eyes. “He thinks he’s won it all. And I’m sure he’s exaggerating.”

“I assure you I’m not.” He nudges me, and another laugh pops out of my mouth, quickly disappearing as Miles, Elliott, and Rafe enter the room.

Every single time I see them, my heart tries to leave my body, like they own it and the stupid thing knows it. I’ve never felt like this before. Not even with Jared. And that scares the shit out of me.

“Close your mouth, you’re drooling,” Chad whispers out of the corner of his mouth.

I snap my mouth shut. My ears and cheeks warm, and I know I’m probably blushing. Elliott approaches us, and I feel my cheeks heat even further at being busted. He smiles politely, but it doesn’t look like any of the smiles he gave on the mini-golf date. Since our seven minutes in the closet, he’s actually put space between us. I don’t like it.

“Elliott, can we have a minute?” I ask, cutting off anything he may have been planning to say .

An array of emotions runs over his face too quickly for me to catch. Then he nods. “Sure.”

He offers his arm as I stand up, leading us down the hall and out onto the lite patio. Everything beyond the area is dark and peaceful. The infinity pool glows in the darkness. Not even that can hold my attention as he comes to a stop.

A camera man followed us. So I can’t ask him directly about what happened at the carriage house because that isn’t a place I should have been in the first place.

“Did I do something wrong? On our date?” I ask. I inhale a steadying breath as my eyelashes brush my cheek, and I gather the courage to look at him and view the rejection I’m sure I’ll find in his eyes.

My palms grow clammy. My heart races. And my breath is caught somewhere in my lungs as I wait for his response.

“Wrong?” he repeats, sounding as if he’s genuinely perplexed, and I finally lift my eyes from his feet to his face. I watch as his brow furrows and his eyes narrow, clearly trying to process what I just said. His confusion’s almost palpable, and I can see him struggling to make sense of it all.

I shift on my feet and glance at the camera in our faces. I wish it wasn’t here.

“Yeah, after—you’re just…” I press my lips together, feeling suddenly foolish for asking to talk to him.

“No, not at all. It isn’t you?—”

“It’s you?” I lift an eyebrow. I’ve heard that one before. While standing at the altar and staring at my would-be alpha.

“Yes—No,” he says, sounding torn. He reaches for my hands and grips my fingers lightly. “Lilah, you know I came here for love. Making the right decision that isn’t driven by…”

Hormones. He was going to say hormones. His quick glance at the camera tells me everything I need to know. Like I told Miles. Lust and love are not the same thing. Elliott seems to know that. Even if my heart cracks a bit at the knowledge.

I pull my fingers from him and step back. Forcing a smile to my lips that I can only hope it looks steadier than it feels, I nod. “Of course. Yeah. You should find someone that can make you happy. That’s what this show is about, right?”

His brows furrow. Before he can say another word, Tamika and Tyler come outside. They are each in high spirits that feel at odds with how my heart feels like it’s breaking. When they join us the conversation flows around me.

I’m here. But I’m not. Like a rock in a river, the water continues to move and run down the river, but the rock stays stuck. Continuously pounded against by the current that wants to beat it down.

Elliott’s eyes feel like they are burning a hole through me as he chats with the other two. I nod and smile when expected. When Tamika reaches out and grasps Elliott’s bicep, I can’t take it anymore.

Falling back a step, I mumble out a goodbye and escape into the house. I slip into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. My reflection stares back at me, regrets of falling for them shining in the depths of my eyes. How could Ashlyn ever think this show was a good idea for a broken heart? How could I start to believe her?

A knock sounds on the door, and I tell whoever it is I’ll be out in a moment. Silence follows, and I assume they’ve walked away. Inhaling, I release the sink and stand up. I’m not broken. No alpha can break me. That’s only within my power.

I will just have to guard my heart going forward.

Swinging the door wide, I squeak in surprise when Rafe’s on the other side, and he barges in, pushing me back inside. Then quickly shuts it behind him .

“What—?” I start. But my words are swallowed by him as his mouth crashes down on mine.

I tangle my fingers in his curls at the base of his neck, pulling him closer. Deepening the kiss as if I need it like the air I breathe. And he tastes amazing, just like at the apple orchard and the restaurant. His lips are demanding and claiming. There’s nothing gentle about this.

He lifts me to the edge of the sink and steps between my legs. My dress rides up my thighs, but I don’t care. Not when his hands are grasping my waist, and his tongue’s dancing with mine. He pulls back, his eyes bouncing between mine, searching for something he must find before he’s kissing me again. His hands roam my body, and I scrape my fingernails against his scalp until he emits a low growl.

The world seems to melt away, replaced by a dreamy haze where everything slows down. A gentle dizziness sweeps over me—a sweet, intoxicating swirl of emotions. The edges of reality blur, and a soft, warm glow envelops the moment.

It feels as if I’m standing on the edge of a cannon, ready to topple over into the chasm with the slightest breeze, swaying in perfect harmony with another. Time loses meaning, and all that exists is this exhilarating connection, a dance of warmth and light and a bite of darkness that’s tantalizing that leaves my senses pleasantly dazed and my heart fluttering.

He groans—his fingers flexing against my waist where he’s returned them—and presses between my legs. His warm length is evident through his slacks.

“Lilah, the things you do to me,” he murmurs against my swollen lips, sounding like a curse falling from his lips, as if it’s my fault he locked us into the bathroom together. He presses his forehead to mine, attempting to control his breathing. “That was number one.”

I lean back, studying his face. “Number one?”

“From my wins at mini-golf. I’m collecting.” My eyes widen, and a faint smile lifts the corners of his lips. “You didn’t think I wouldn’t, did you?”

I laugh. “I think that was enough payment for two.”

He taps my nose. “Not quite, sweetheart. If I’m anything, it’s greedy, and I’ll be collecting every single one.”

The nickname feels like cold water dumped over my head. He’s only ever used it sarcastically. I push him back, and he resists for a moment before allowing me space.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sweetheart?” He lifts a single brow quizzically.

Focusing on straightening my dress, I slip down to my feet on my shaky legs. “Yeah.”

His tone gently mocking, he says, “But…that’s what you are, isn’t it? America’s sweetheart?”

I roll my eyes. “Nicknames should mean something.”

He flashes white teeth at me in a quick smile. “Who says it doesn’t mean something to me?”

Releasing an exasperated breath, I cross my arms and give him a droll stare. “Me.”

“I assure you, sweetheart , it does.” He leans forward, his breath ghosting over the shell of my ear as he whispers the words. A shiver works its way down my spine, and my traitorous pussy cries. Or maybe that’s just slick gathering. Either way, my body should not betray me like this. “I would prove it, but I want to savor my wins. If I use them all up tonight, I’d be very sad. And that look on your face, the lust in the depths of your eyes. All for me . It makes it very hard to stop.”

He straightens, and I swear his nose grazes my jawline as he does. And I’m almost positive there’s a hint of butterfinger in the air. He leans against the door, his eyes on me, as if he’s committing how I look to memory. With one last head to toe sweep, he moistens his lips, and I’m positive he’s going to kiss me again. It shouldn’t be as sexy as it is .

“Is this part of your act?” I blurt. I don’t want to know if it is. Please don’t say it is.

“Are there cameras in here? Other omegas?” he asks, making a point to look as if he’s searching the corners for the recording device.

Heat crawls up the sides of my neck and over my cheeks. “No, but they are right outside, in the hallway.”

He shrugs. “Then I guess America will see just how real it is.”

“But—”

“Are you embarrassed by me?” he asks, tensing up. His eyes do a lap around my face, and I shake my head mutely before he relaxes against the door again. It feels deceptive, like a snake ready to strike. “Does my past bother you?”

“Why would your past bother me?” I ask softly.

“Because of what the gossip magazines have said?—”

I lift my eyebrows, and my lips twist into a sardonic smile. “I think you are forgetting the whole reason I agreed to be on this show.”

He nods slowly. “Right.” His fingers curl around the doorknob at his side, and he’s out of the small space as fast as he entered it. Leaving me wondering if I said the wrong thing.