Knot Broken (Hiddenverse)

32. Miles

CHAPTER 32

Miles

“Are you trying to choke yourself with that?” Rafe asks sarcastically, his eyes dropping to the way my fingers are tightening the tie around my neck.

Ignoring him, I focus on the tie in the mirror as he hovers behind me. This insistent, driving need to cancel the entire show and run off with Lilah has me on edge. I can barely focus. I can’t sleep. Running isn’t stopping the idea from circling around my head like it is on its own personal marathon. And it’s only worse now that I know exactly what happened between Elli and Lilah last night.

“It’s crooked,” he adds unhelpfully, and I let out a growl as I untie it completely again.

“Would you like to do it?” I snap.

He lifts an eyebrow and smirks. “You need help dressing now?”

“If it will shut you up,” I say.

He lets out a loud laugh. Elliott appears and leans against the doorframe to the large bathroom, looking like the picture of a relaxed and pleased alpha. Of course he looks relaxed. It makes me growl again .

“You don’t have anything to worry about. Lilah already knows your musk and loves it,” Elliott says, misreading my agitation.

“Out! Both of you,” I say pointing to the doorway.

Elliott falls back, and Rafe shuffles out, the stupid smirk still on his face. What does he have to smirk about—that he had her all to himself in the dance cage for what felt like ages? I slam the door between us before turning back to the mirror.

I didn’t shave. The eight o’clock shadow is now day-old scruff. But at least my hair is clean, still too soft to style without gel. But it doesn’t matter. None of it does. Only the fact that tonight, I’ll get another hit of Lilah’s perfume. Another chance to be around her.

What if she hates my musk now? I know coconut and almond isn’t a scent everyone likes. But not everyone needs to like it. Just her.

With a flick of my wrist, I turn on the water, letting it run down the drain untouched. My fingers curl on the countertop as I watch it swirl around the drain. I can feel my OCD attempting to drive me to act. The unwanted and intrusive thoughts want to drag me down. I’ve never felt this out of control when it comes to an omega.

All I want to do is go to her. Be around her. Breathe her in. Damn it. I can’t go on like this. Riding the edge. Basically falling over the damn thing.

I don’t know how long I stand there, staring sightlessly at myself in the mirror, the water running down the drain. Long enough for Elliott to tap on the door and call out that we have to go soon.

Clenching my teeth together, I twist the water off. My fingers find the tie again, and I quickly knot it before straightening and tightening it some more. It feels like a choker around my neck, but it distracts me enough to be able to twist open the door knob and step out of the bathroom.

Rafe eyes me over a water glass as I step into the kitchen. “Elli’s right. Lilah likes your musk.”

“Easy words for someone that smells like a peanut butter candy bar. But that isn’t it.”

I grab down a glass and fill it with water from the fridge, all the while feeling Rafe burn a hole in the back of my head.

“What is it then?” he asks as I turn back around.

I take a long drink of the ice water before setting it on the counter. With a sigh, I run my fingers through my hair. “It doesn’t bother you?”

He lifts his brows as if to say, what doesn’t bother me , and another deep sigh is pulled from my lungs.

“Elliott and Lilah—” I say.

“I’m pretty sure being in a pack means sharing the omega,” he says, a smile attempting to spread over his lips, but he holds it back.

“That isn’t what I mean.”

He purses his lips, watching me. “You’re jealous.” It should be a question, but it comes out like a statement, so I just stare back at him. He doesn’t need the words to know that I am. “I am too.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, why do you think I stole her away last night and kept her in that cage with me as long as possible?” He quirks up an eyebrow. “If I thought I could get away with it…”

“What?”

“I would have been knot deep inside of her in that fucking cage.” He takes another drink before setting the glass back down. We stare at each other in silence before he adds, “We have a pre-party to get to, then we get to send three more omegas home. Think they will let us send Hailey home?”

“Not likely,” I reply, still stuck on the idea of Rafe and Lilah fucking in the cage. The image my brain conjures is erotic, almost more than I can handle at the moment.

“Get out of your head. We only have a week of one-on-one dates, then a week of hometown visits. I can see the end of the tunnel.”

I can too. Only it isn’t as clear of a shot as what Rafe’s envisioning. So much could go wrong.

A half hour later, we’re climbing out of the SUV in front of the mansion. Nerves churn in my stomach, turning over the contents of the small snack I managed to choke down before we left. Elliott drops his hand on my shoulder, guiding me toward the door with steps that are light and excited.

“Elli—” I cut myself off and swallow the words I want to say. They could hurt him. So I keep them inside. “Never mind.”

What if last night was a one-time thing? What if Lilah doesn’t want our pack? What if Rafe was right and she isn’t here for love? A waterfall of questions crashes relentlessly over me, urging me to spill them from my mouth. I press my lips into a thin line, holding them back. I’m obsessing and spiraling, again.

We step inside, the air thick with anticipation and pheromones. The omegas are gathered in the living room, dressed to impress, their eyes zeroing in on us as we enter. My gaze finds Lilah, and my heart races. She’s the one we all want to take to the end, but the uncertainty gnaws at me. It’s foreign and unwelcome, so I push it away as much as I can.

Lilah looks stunning, her dress hugging her curves in a way that makes my stomach flip and my heart pound. But there’s something else there in the way she holds herself—anxiety, maybe even fear. It mirrors my own feelings, and I wonder if she’s as nervous as I am about tonight.

“Hey,” Elliott says, making a beeline for Lilah and giving her a warm smile. “You look amazing.”

She smiles back, but it’s tight, forced. “Thanks. You too.” She glances around at the other remaining omegas, and Elliott turns effortlessly to greet each of them as well.

Rafe brushes past me into the room and starts making the rounds, pointedly avoiding Hailey. She watches him over her glass of champagne, and the possessive light in her eyes doesn’t say she’s here for publicity anymore. In fact, I am willing to bet she thought coming here would get Rafe back. Not that she’s done a very good job of that.

The mixing of perfumes in the room is almost too much. Lust, anxiety, hope, jealousy, the bite of each adds a layer to it that wouldn’t normally be there. Crossing the space to Lilah, I gesture to the seat next to her.

“Is this taken?”

She rolls her lips together and gives a brief shake of her head. I sink into the cushions, catching the sweet scent of her perfume. My mouth waters, and my senses tingle for more. Inhaling deeply, I lean toward her.

“I could live off of your pheromones,” I say.

Her eyes go wide as they dart to the watching camera before coming back to me. “Should you say that?” she whispers, blocking her lips with her glass of champagne.

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s true. None of the others can compare.”

She snorts, a small smile pulling at her lips and humor shining in her pale blue eyes. “You haven’t even talked to any of the others.”

I shrug and cast my eyes around the room. Then I lean closer still, catching the sweet hit of her happiness threading through her perfume. Giving the camera my back before lowering my voice, I whisper, “I don’t need to. I told you already, you’re it for me. My match. We can cancel the whole show right this second and deal with the fall out. Do you want me to do that?”

The humor evaporates as her gaze crashes into mine and holds. Her pink lips part on a breath, and I’m positive I’ve finally gotten through to her. She finally knows I’m not just playing games.

“Miles—” she starts, and the air gets lodged in my throat. “I think we should take it one day at a time. One ceremony at a time.”

My heart plummets as I stare at her. Words don’t form, and thoughts scatter like spooked sparrows. “One day at a time?” I shake my head attempting to clear it. “Yeah…of course.”