Lady of Shadows (Lady of Darkness #2)

Chapter 26 Scarlett

CHAPTER 26

SCARLETT

S carlett lay awake in Eliza’s extra bedroom. Her dinner with Callan had been just that. A casual dinner. She had almost canceled on him, too broken by what Sorin had said to her earlier that day, but she’d be damned if she’d let his words wreck her. He had been the one to pull her from the river. Screw him for trying to hurl her back in.

They had dined in Callan’s guest suite, Finn and Sloan joining them. Sloan was even almost smiling by the end of the evening as they shared tales of adventures in Baylorin. She was impressed to hear that Sloan had actually fought in battles before becoming one of Callan’s personal guards. Finn had grown up with Callan and had been trained to be his personal guard since birth. The three were the best of friends, and she had felt a slight twinge. They reminded her so much of her and Nuri and Juliette.

Sorin had been brought up only once, and she had simply said she wished not to discuss this land or its occupants for the evening. The others had seemed inclined to agree and that had been that.

It was much later than she’d intended when she had walked back to the private wing of the palace, feeling lighter than she had when she’d gone to the guest wing.

Until she had seen him outside of Eliza’s rooms, waiting for her.

She didn’t have it in her to fight with him anymore. She could feel that darkness pulling her down, down, down. She could feel her shadows stretching around her as that darkness yawned open. She didn’t want to go there. She didn’t want to let that out of its cage. Not against him.

So she had walked past him without a glance and slumped against the door once inside Eliza’s suite. Eliza was sitting on her sofa, reading a book and sipping tea, when she met her eyes with a questioning look.

Scarlett had heard him beg her to talk, but she couldn’t. The wound he had dealt her was still too raw. She had shaken her head at Eliza, and her friend had gotten up from the couch, coming to her.

“Tell him I will come to him in the morning,” she had whispered, barely audible.

Mercifully, Eliza had waited until she was in the bedroom with the door closed before talking to Sorin.

And here she was, unable to sleep without that male body next to her. The bed felt huge and cold. She knew she could warm it up, but she didn’t trust herself enough to tap into her magic without someone else in the room.

She walked back out to the sitting room and found Eliza waiting for her, a second cup of tea steaming beside her own. “Cyrus filled me in on everything that was said, the parts you left out,” she said quietly as Scarlett picked up the teacup and took a sip, settling in beside Eliza on the couch. “He was wrong and out of line.”

“He was.” It was all Scarlett could think of to say.

“He has it in his head that he needs to protect us all, and he takes failure harder than anyone I’ve ever met. Talwyn knows exactly how to push his buttons. Did you know he trained her in her magic?” she asked.

“No,” Scarlett said softly. “How? Her magic is earth and wind.”

“Yes, but magic basics are the same. Control, discipline, and knowing your limits are all similar. He was her private tutor growing up. He was your mother’s Second and Hand to the Queen,” Eliza explained. “I do not know the particulars of what she said to him today. Cyrus would not tell me, but she knows what wounds to reopen, Scarlett. It does not excuse his behavior. Nothing of what he said to you was remotely permissible. Just…” Eliza pursed her lips as if trying to decide the words to say. “You said yourself you are the same. I trust you know what it is like to be in a pit you are trying to crawl out of and that you can slip, even on your best of days. I trust you know you lash out at those you love the most.”

“I know your Fae customs. I have been researching them and learning,” Scarlett said after several moments of silence, both lost in their own thoughts. “I know he has a twin flame out there somewhere, but I wish he didn’t. Does that make me an awful person?”

Eliza seemed to weigh her words before she replied. “No. It doesn’t, but finding one’s twin flame is so, so rare, Scarlett. The majority of us do not find them in our long immortal lifetime.”

“What would you do though? If you bound yourself to another, and they later found their twin flame?” Scarlett asked.

“I think if I cared enough about another to bind myself to them and they found their twin flame, I could not ask them to give that up for me if they desire to be with them instead,” Eliza said slowly.

“If you knew there was a chance that they would one day find their twin flame, would you risk giving that much of yourself to another?”

“I think that if you found someone to trust enough to give your entire self to, it would be well worth the risk of losing them and worth the time you did have with them,” Eliza answered softly. Scarlett was quiet as she stared into the hearth, sipping on her tea. “Let me ask you a question now. Which prince does this pertain to?”

Scarlett jerked her head to Eliza at the words. “There is nothing between me and Callan anymore.”

“There is definitely something there,” Eliza said with an unbelieving laugh. “He wishes for so much more though.”

“Callan and I have a complicated history. I almost didn’t go to dinner tonight, but it felt good. To eat with friends and reminisce about Baylorin. To know the stories being told, without feeling like I was on the outside looking in.”

“Is that how you feel with us?” Eliza asked, tilting her head to the side, her red-gold locks falling over her shoulder.

“Sometimes,” Scarlett admitted. “It feels like I have known you all for ages, but I have only been here a few months. You all are a family, and I am…still an outsider most days. It is not anything that has been done or said. It just takes time. I did have people, before Sorin. Before…”

“I know.”

“Callan was one of those people in an odd way, and I miss the others. Especially today.”

“The male that Sorin brought weeks ago?”

“Cassius. Yes. I miss him most of all,” Scarlett whispered. She leaned her head on Eliza’s shoulder. “Sorin eases that heartache most days. Most days, just being around him gives me the strength to push through. He… I don't know how to explain what he is for me. Most days, though, he is a rock that steadies me in a storm that does not cease. Today was not one of those days.”

“Some days are hard. Sometimes simply making it through the hard days is enough,” Eliza said, leaning her own head against Scarlett’s. That little bit of contact from a friend who understood just how hard some days could be eased the ache in her chest slightly. The knowledge that sometimes just surviving was enough for one day almost made her sigh in relief.

“Tomorrow will be hard, too,” Scarlett murmured.

“No matter how tomorrow goes, you are not alone,” Eliza replied, “and I do not mean Sorin.”

“Thank you,” Scarlett whispered, squeezing Eliza’s hand.

S ORIN

The main door creaked as it opened, and Sorin was instantly on his feet in the sitting room, but it was Cyrus.

“She’s training with Eliza in the private pits,” he said by way of greeting, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. “You look like shit.”

Sorin had hardly slept. He’d been up since before the sun, watching the clock tick by the minutes, then the hours. The bruise on his cheek had healed completely overnight. He’d gone over so many things he wanted to say to her and played out every scenario of how she would respond. Then, of course, there had been the dinner with Callan. What had transpired there? Not that it was his business. They were not bonded. She was free to find release elsewhere. She had basically told him she would find him his own release if he needed it.

When he all but called her a whore.

“I hope you plan to do more than stand there in stone-cold silence when she finally comes back,” Cyrus drawled.

Sorin snorted. “If she does not kick me out on my ass first.”

“You’d deserve it, you know,” Cyrus retorted.

“I am well aware.”

Cyrus stared at him for a moment before saying, “Briar said the mortal who tried to keep her managed to appear to you two.”

“He did,” Sorin admitted, sitting back down on the sofa. “Although I am starting to believe he is not a mortal at all, which would make his desire for Scarlett and her bloodline a lot more logical. Mixing her bloodline with human blood would not do much, but combining it with another magic wielder would be tempting to say the least.”

“Why not approach Talwyn, though? If his desire is more power?”

“I do not know. Perhaps he has heard of our benevolent queen,” Sorin sneered.

“You let her get to you yesterday,” Cyrus said quietly. “Why?”

“She is upset with me. I am keeping Scarlett from her. She is worried about something, so she is lashing out at me, and she knows exactly where to strike,” Sorin answered tightly.

“You let her come between you and Scarlett. She was right there, Sorin. She all but said the Claiming Rite.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Sorin snapped. “I do not need you to remind me of my failures. Talwyn did that enough yesterday.”

Cyrus's lips formed a thin line, a muscle feathering in his jaw. “What do you need from me?”

“Tell Rayner to check in with our spies in the mortal lands, especially the Windonelle capital. See if he can learn anything about Mikale. We are going to need to inform Talwyn soon if we cannot figure it out. Ashtine will need to be sent in,” Sorin said. “Keep it quiet. I do not want her to know unless we have to.”

“Anything else?”

“Try to keep the mortal prince occupied today,” he ground out.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Cyrus answered. “Send word if you need something.”

Sorin nodded, staring into the darkened hearth before him as Cyrus left the rooms. The minutes began to tick by again. He stood, pacing in front of the fireplace. He was about to just go up to the training room and beg on his knees for her to speak to him when the door opened again, and she slipped in.

She wore her training clothes, and she was drenched in sweat. She had trained hard this morning, likely trying to work through all her emotions. He could see it in her eyes as she stilled at the sight of him. She reached up and pulled the string from her braid, shaking out the plaits as she crossed the room to their bedroom without a word.

He waited a few minutes to see if she would come back out, and when she didn’t, he took a deep breath and followed her path. The door to the bathing room was closed. So he waited.

And she took her time. He knew she was drawing this out as long as possible. He knew her well enough to know she was dreading this conversation. She was dreading the possibility of what else would come from his mouth. She had given him pieces of herself that she’d given no one else, and with that had come a tentative trust that he had shattered in the span of a few minutes.

When she finally emerged, she wore fitted black pants with a black tunic. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders, still wet. He stood near the balcony doors, and with half a thought, her hair was dry. She didn’t acknowledge the gesture. She just crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe of the bathing room, waiting. Her shadows slithered along her like vines of ivy, and he flashed back to a rooftop in Baylorin when he had first laid eyes on her and Nuri together. Death’s Maiden stood before him now, not the female that he had spent months convincing to take down her walls…and then watched them all spring back up in a matter of seconds. She had put on her full armor for this conversation, retreating to that predatory place inside of herself.

He’d spent hours perfecting exactly what he was going to say to her, and now that she stood before him, he didn’t know what to say to make her stop looking at him like he had ripped her heart from her chest and stomped on it.

Her eyes pinned him with a stare, gold and fiery today. “I’ve no treats for you this morning, Prince. Speak.” Her voice was as cold and dark as the shadows that adored her.

But he couldn’t. Words escaped him. He literally could not form them as she stared at him. He had expected to see hate and anger in her eyes, and while fury certainly stared back at him, he was not prepared for the hurt she allowed to shine through. This female who had always worn so many masks. Who had finally stopped wearing them around him.

Hurt. That is one mask he had never seen. Pain, yes. But this type of hurt? This was caused by betrayal. He had caused this. He had done this. There were no words to say that would make this right.

After another minute, she huffed a laugh of disbelief. “I am not going to stand here all day, Sorin. Either say something, or I will take my leave.”

He made to take a step towards her, but when she stiffened at the movement, he froze. “I am sorry, Scarlett. I am so sorry.”

“Keep going,” she said coolly.

“There is so much. I do not even know where to begin.”

“Start with one.”

“You came for me,” he said quietly.

“Of course I came for you,” she snapped. “I thought that’s what we did for each other. I thought… Of course I came for you.”

“I am sorry that I hurt you.”

“I am sorry that you knew where to strike,” she replied with a cold bite.

Sorin swallowed. “You were right, Scarlett. We are the same. You are my equal in every possible way, and I had no right to speak to you like I did.”

“No, you did not. You were in the dark, and instead of letting me in to keep you from blotting out the stars, you tried to shove me back into that river, back under the water. How ironic it is that you are the one who helped me realize that only I can decide who and what gets that kind of power over me. What’s even more paradoxical is that I thought you were one of two people who would never try to shove me into a damn cage.” He could see the silver pooling in her eyes. He could see her resolve to not let them fall. “I am not your godsdamned punishment,” she whispered with venom, her eyes going to the floor.

He didn’t hold back his own tears as two slipped down his face. It took every bit of self-control to keep himself from going to her. “No, Scarlett Monrhoe,” he choked out. “You are anything but a punishment. You are a bright star I do not deserve.”

“I trusted you!” Her voice cracked, and his knees nearly gave out at the sound of it. Then she was striding across the room to him, her shadows mixing with flames of bluest wildfire. “I trusted you with all of me, and you used it against me. You shut me out. You fucking took what you wanted from me and shut me out.” She shoved him at the last words with such force he stumbled backwards. His chest burned where she had touched him, from the shadows or the flames he didn’t know.

“I am sorry, Scarlett. Tell me what I need to do. Tell me how to fix this,” he pleaded.

“There is no fixing this, Sorin! You may as well have been Mikale yesterday. You all but told me you only keep me around to get what you want from me. That I was a necessary burden.”

“No! No, Love—” He reached for her, but she stepped back, interrupting him before he could say more.

“Don’t you get it, Sorin? There is no Love. There is no you and me. There is you, and there is me.” The words were stones being hurled at him. Words he had so carelessly snarled at her. Tears were flowing uncontrollably down her cheeks as she screamed at him. “You broke this! You broke us!”

And he felt it then, in his soul. He felt it splinter. His left hand burned in agony as that unfinished Mark faded slightly. It wasn’t gone, but it was definitely lighter, a faint gray color rather than the stark black of his other Marks. He was going to be sick.

Then he was sick, violently sick, as she disappeared into the air.