Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Two

Roger and Ralph to the Rescue

A tapping sound jolted me out of deep REM. While the rest of my body slowly came to life, my eyes refused to accept it was time to wake and remained glued shut. When the tapping resumed, my sleepy brain assumed the noise was my nieces. During my stay at Brian’s, they loved to wake me up with annoying sounds.

“Go away!” I yelled and turned over, covering my head with the three blankets I’d cocooned in all night.

The tapping resounded a third time. I popped straight up to a sitting position, throwing off the blankets. My eyes snapped open. I let out a feral growl followed by a yelp as I hit my elbow on the steering wheel—a stark reminder of where I was. I’d spent the night in my truck. Once upright, a hundred aches shot through my body, thanks to my odd positioning in the driver’s seat. I turned to my left—and nearly jumped out of my skin. Harlan was standing at the window, staring at me .

I scrubbed my hands over my face, fished my key out of my purse, and turned on the ignition so I could roll down the window. It was a lot of effort when I could’ve simply opened the door, but I was groggy.

“Morning,” he said.

My teeth gritted at the self-satisfied look in his eye. His smirk seemed to taunt me for being too chickenshit to go back in the lodge. He’d caught me sleeping in my truck like the scared suburbanite he presumed I was.

Tamping down my frustration and mortification, I said, “Good morning.”

I was startled by the bark of a dog and the whine of another. The bark was low and deep, so I presumed it was a fairly large breed. Looking around, I didn’t see any animals. I peeked over the door and looked down at the most pitifully adorable faces I’d ever seen. Two tri-color Basset Hounds peered up at me. With their impossibly short legs and impossibly long bodies, the two were nearly identical and reminded me of a coworker I had who’d lost a bunch of weight, but hadn’t updated his droopy wardrobe. Their eyes peeked out from sagging jowls and were filled with longing. What a couple of good boys they were. My heart instantly melted.

I’d always wanted a dog, but Rob was allergic. So, I lived vicariously through other people’s pets. I did the same with other people’s babies. But that’s a whole other sad story.

“This one is Roger and that one is Ralph. They’re brothers,” Harlan said.

Plaintive brown eyes stared up at me and both dogs began to whine. I couldn’t bear another second. I had to meet these little heartbreakers. After I pulled the keys from the ignition and slipped on my sneakers, I opened the door carefully, so as not to hit them. Harlan stepped back and I slid out of the front seat, closing the door. I squatted down and waited for the dogs to come to me. They didn’t waste any time, trotting up and sniffing me all over. Once I knew they were comfortable with me, the petting and nuzzling began. It was love at first sight. These pups were little sweethearts and I was glad to soak up all of their snuggles.

Looking up, I saw Harlan’s smile for the first time. Tiny lines creased around his eyes and a dimple appeared on his cheek. It was official. He was the best looking man—no, person—I’d ever seen in real life. I shook my head in hopes that my sudden fantasy of sloppily kissing him would disappear like an image on an Etch-a-Sketch. His smile lingered and I tried not to stare, but I was only human.

My shameless ogling was interrupted by Harlan setting a thermos on the hood of my truck. He unscrewed the cup on the top and poured steaming coffee into it. Hot jealousy pumped through every vein in my body. I was a coffee addict and hadn’t planned how I’d get my fix. When he walked toward me, offering the cup, I could have kissed him on the mouth.

Stop staring at his mouth.

“Thank you so much.” My voice was breathy and pinched, as though my gratitude had me on the verge of tears. On the bottom of the thermos was another cup, which he unscrewed and filled for himself. “So you’re a dog lover?”

“You could say that. I’m a breeder. Used to do beagles, but switched to Bassets about three years ago.”

“I can see why you did. These guys are adorable.”

“These two are mine. They sire most of the litters,” he said with a proud smile. There was something infinitely heartwarming about the way he loved his dogs. “Basset lovers are devoted to the breed. I get customers from all over the Midwest.”

I stood up and took my first sip of the hot coffee. God bless the man; it was quality brew. Closing my eyes, I savored the smoky, dark flavor. This wasn’t some pre-packaged run-of-the-mill nonsense. He had to have popped for the good stuff and ground the beans himself. I let out a low moan of appreciation and opened my eyes. Harlan was staring at me again, only this time it wasn’t at my face. Looking down, I realized I wasn’t exactly presentable. I’d thrown on some sweatpants and took off my bra just before passing out in my truck. The crisp March morning air had made my nipples harden and poke against my thin T-shirt. Though I should have been mortified, my stomach fluttered with excitement as I spied a tiny glimmer of fire in his gaze. He lingered a second longer, and then looked up. The faintest flush of embarrassment colored his cheeks. He cleared his throat and quickly turned toward the lodge.

A tiny smile tipped my lips upward. I shouldn’t have been thrilled at affecting him, but I was. I hardly knew the man, so I had no business hoping he enjoyed my unintentional little nip show. But I’d spent so much time the night before with his rugged good looks seared on my brain, I was happy to note the attraction wasn’t completely one-sided.

“Doesn’t look like you made much progress last night,” he said, eyeing the open door. And just like that, all warm thoughts of him dissipated. It was a veiled I told you so, and it rankled.

“Oh, I just decided to take it easy last night.” I opened the door on my truck and pulled out my hoodie. “I built a fire .”

“Yes, I see,” he said, walking a few paces toward the fire pit.

Slipping the sweatshirt on, I followed. “Had a few shots and stared at the fire for a while,” I said.

“And then you slept in your truck.”

Embarrassment and irritation churned hotly in my stomach, but I didn’t crack. “It was actually pretty comfortable.”

“More comfortable than an actual bed…inside a house?” He turned to me, thrusting his hands in the pockets of his windbreaker.

“Harlan, it was really nice of you to offer me a place to stay. But honestly, I don’t know you at all. Until yesterday, you were just some loner guy that Uncle Randy always talked about. For all I know, you could be like Ted Bundy, or the BTK guy, or like…Hannibal Lecter.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yes it does. I’m being cautious because—“

“No, I mean your list of killers. Hannibal Lecter is a made-up character. The other two are real people. It’s inconsistent.”

An annoyed growl escaped me. “Nevertheless! The point is that I would be stupid to stay at a strange man’s house far enough from civilization that my screams would go unheard.”

“Fair enough,” he said, and then stood quietly for a second. “I suppose it wouldn’t make a difference if I told you I’m not a serial killer.”

“No, it wouldn’t. Because that’s what a serial killer would say.”

“Fair enough,” he said again. He looked at the open front door and then back at me. “Well, if you’re insisting on staying here, we better get started on making the place habitable.”

He turned and give a little whistle to the dogs. They trotted after him as he walked to the porch. The word we kept running through my head. He had, with zero discussion, decided to help me. Not just help me; he seemed to take on my problems as his own. Half of me was thrilled to have such a capable, strong guy on my team. The other half was extremely leery.

Back in my suburban life, neighbors were people you smiled and nodded to. Maybe even shared a pot luck block party with once a year. You didn’t just show up and take on whatever crises they had. That was their business. But this guy waltzed in and suddenly my problems were “ours” and “we” were going to solve them. It was baffling.

Stunned, I stood mulling for a moment. He stopped when he reached the porch and noticed I wasn’t following. “You coming?”

“What are we doing, exactly?”

“I figured the boys and I could do a sweep to see how bad your critter problem is. If it’s just a couple of squirrels or raccoons, I can take care of it. If it’s worse, we’ll have to call in Dale and Annie.”

“Who are they?”

“They’ve got a critter removal business based out of Douglas. They can trap pretty much anything.”

My mind went wild with visions of all manner of creatures and whatever kind of Animal Farm society they’d been carrying on, undisturbed for years. A shiver ran up my spine.

To be fair, I wasn’t a complete scaredy cat. Bugs didn’t bother me and I’d even caught a few mice with traps at our old house. But anything larger and hairier gave me the willies. Harlan must have noticed the fear on my face.

“Tell you what,” he said. “Why don’t you drink your coffee while me and the boys do a quick walk-through?”

“You sure?” I didn’t want to impose, but I preferred to avoid having a turf war with a woodland creature at nine in the morning.

“Drink up. I’ll be back in a sec.” He turned and walked through the door. The two saggy dogs loped behind him dutifully.

Harlan and the dogs made their way through the house. It didn’t take me long to learn their pattern once they’d gotten started. Harlan would command the dogs to “find it” and then there would be a moment of quiet, presumably while Roger and Ralph sniffed out their targets. Then they would start to bay: a low, long howl. Harlan would give a short, sharp whistle and all was quiet for a minute—presumably while he investigated. Then the cycle would start all over again.

I prayed that I’d only hear the baying a couple of times—that maybe the lodge wasn’t overrun with fauna. But the scene replayed itself over and over again. Nine times . I counted each rotation with dread. There were nine creature habitats on my property. It wasn’t unheard of in the real estate business to come across unpleasant animal surprises. But usually a place had a bird’s nest or a single beehive. This place was like a feral pet store.

Harlan emerged again, along with his buddies. I was momentarily distracted from my dread about the infested house by the adorably odd way the bassets came down the porch stairs. Their legs were so short and their bodies so long, they had to do a sort of sidesaddle bounce, alternating their front and back legs down each step. No wonder why this breed ended up on so many dog food ads and cheery calendars. They were goofily irresistible.

“So, we’re calling Dale and Annie?” I asked, draining the last of my coffee.

“Yep. I think that would be best.”

***

An hour later I watched in awe as a portly couple unpacked traps and equipment from their truck. Well, the man was portly; the woman was about a thousand months pregnant. While I was glad to have some experts take charge of my little untamed zoo, I was always uncomfortable around pregnant women. It wasn’t their fault. They were just living their lives, making babies. But being in the presence of fertility was a stark reminder of my fruitless attempts at conception. Sadness and envy made my chest achy and hollow.

With Annie, those feelings were hard to hold onto. I was too busy marveling at how quickly and surely she moved around, in spite of her giant belly. She unpacked the truck alongside her husband with ease. They both wore forest green coveralls with the Critter Gitters logo on the back—a weeping cartoon raccoon behind bars. It was a cute name and image, but they were all business.

“Can’t believe someone finally decided to take on the lodge. It’ll be nice to see the place fixed up,” Annie said, plopping her hands on her hips. “I’m just glad it’s you and not that ex of yours.” She turned and walked straight into the lodge, leaving me staring, slack-jawed. When my eyes shifted to Dale, he seemed a little uncomfortable, but accustomed to his wife’s directness.

“You two know Rob?” I asked.

“Um, yeah. He spent some summers up here when he was a teenager,” he said. I could tell they weren’t fun-filled summers. Both Dale and Harlan went stiff, avoiding eye contact and clenching their jaws to keep the truth from coming out.

“Fellas, I divorced him. You don’t have to hold back. I’m fully aware that he’s an asshole,” I said.

“He’s such an asshole!“ Harlan blurted and I laughed.

“He really is,” Dale added. “When he’d come and stay with Randy, he used to cause a lot of mischief, and wasn’t big on taking responsibility or facing consequences.” He shot a look at Harlan. “Well, anyway, we’re glad to meet ya and hope you like it here. You’ll probably like it a whole lot more once we get all these critters out.” He smiled and made his way into the lodge.

I turned to look at Harlan. His pink cheeks and palpable, simmering anger remained. “You didn’t say you knew my ex.”

He shrugged. “It never came up.”

“You probably know a lot about me. Uncle Randy was a talker.”

“Yeah, he talked about you.”

“That’s it ? That’s all you’re going to say? Man! You are such a tease!”

“Says the girl with no bra on,” he said under his breath. It was a low, throwaway delivery and probably the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.

Before I could respond, Annie appeared in the doorway holding a hissing possum by the tail with her gloved hand. I shrieked and recoiled in horror. Possums. Dear God. They were more terrifying to me than bears .

“Randy’s old bedroom is a veritable possum paradise. This is gonna take a while,” Annie said. She waddled down the stairs and stowed the writhing creature in one of the cages.

Harlan picked up his thermos off the hood of my truck and turned to me. “You hungry?” I was; terribly so. I nodded. “Let’s go have some breakfast and let them do their work.” I stared at him for a moment, still leery of going to his place, and he added, “Look, it’s broad daylight. And Dale and Annie would surely be able to hear you scream if I decided to make a skin suit or a lamp out of you.”

My laugh made him smile. “Fine.”