Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Seventeen

Self Care and Making Arrangements

Hiding out at the lodge while Harlan hashed out his family situation didn’t sit well. And the sting of his rejection just wouldn’t go away. Not to mention my lingering panic about our risky sex. I had to do something with myself.

Taking a trip into town to clear my head, I found an independent furniture store. Maybe shopping for a non-infested sofa might distract me from my many woes and give me an alternate option for sleeping since I may have just lost access to Harlan’s place for the time being.

Craig, the owner of the quaint and stylish shop, was thrilled when he learned I was shopping for the lodge. He talked me into making an appointment so he could do a full consultation on what I’d need. As the store was relatively small, he didn’t have a ton of stock on the floor, but he was clear he would bend over backward to get anything I needed .

While I wasn’t about to commit to the many pieces he showed me both in stock and via catalogue, I did make one purchase while there—a magnificent bed. From the moment I saw it, I had to have it. The head and foot boards were swirling patterns of wrought iron with distressed white paint and the mattress was almost as heavenly as the one at the carriage house. I put the bed on my credit card and felt a mild satisfaction that I’d get to make Harlan pay it off.

Good. You owe me.

Exiting the shop, I followed the irresistible scent of fresh baked bread and stopped for an Americano and a ham and cheese stuffed croissant at a charming little bakery and coffee shop a few doors down. Emerging from the café, I spotted a salon on the same block. The sunny, cloudless spring day, the retail therapy, and a little bit of self-care really turned a shitty day around.

Emerging from the salon with a fresh haircut and a manicure—a saucy bright green lacquer on my nails—I felt markedly more special than when I’d walked in. Making a stop at Target to keep the spending going, I eschewed my constant budget worries. I needed bedding, as my new bed would be delivered later that day and I was sure to need it assembled and ready to sleep in, considering my complicated relationship status.

After heading back to the lodge, I didn’t have to wait long for the delivery truck to arrive. Craig knew that getting my bed the same day would go miles toward having a new customer who needed a crap ton of furniture. The delivery men carried the packaged frame pieces, the head and foot boards, the box spring and the mattress into my bedroom at the back of the first floor. Once they were gone, I was fired up to assemble the bed.

Eyeing the unopened boxes, my stomach twisted.

Shit.

I’d have to borrow some tools. Seeing Harlan was at the bottom of my list and I definitely didn’t want to ask him a favor. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do but walk over and beg for assistance.

When I got to the porch, I looked in the window beside the door and my heart swelled. Harlan and Shannon both sat at the kitchen table, reading. The last thing I wanted at that time was to feel tenderness toward him, but the picture of the two of them was too sweet. Even though the girl had her mother’s coloring, everything else about her was pure Harlan—from her inquisitive blue eyes to the way she chewed her lip when she read. He’d gifted her his love for reading, and they seemed perfectly content to sit in silence at the table.

His head popped up at my knock. He rushed to the door and opened it.

“Hi. Where have you been all day?”

Intent on not staying long, I didn’t enter. “I was running a few errands.” Shannon smiled at me and I smiled back. “Do you have a screwdriver and a wrench I could borrow?”

“For what?”

None of your business. Just give them to me.

“I’ve got some furniture to put together,” I said.

“ Furniture? What furniture?”

“It doesn’t matter, just…can I have the tools or not?”

“Come with me.” He turned to Shannon before walking off the porch. “I’ll be right back.” She nodded with a smirk and I followed him to the shed.

On our way, he said, “I know you’re mad. And I don’t blame you. But—“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maisie, I panicked. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to do.” He opened the shed door and walked inside. I followed.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know, but—“

“Possum, okay? Possum, Harlan.”

“You can’t invoke that now!” He threw his hands in the air .

“I most certainly can.” I crossed my arms.

He let out a huffy growl and turned to his workbench. He opened his red toolbox and dug through, pulling out a wrench and both a Phillips and flat head screwdriver. He handed me the tools and glared at me.

“So that’s it? We’re not going to unpack any of this?”

“No. Not now at least,” I said and turned to walk out of the shed.

As I walked the path to the lodge, he followed. “You know, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now with this Shannon situation. It would be great to get a little understanding from you,” he said to my back.

I responded without turning back to look at him. “Then you should go take care of that. Since we’re only business partners , it really isn’t any of my business.”

“Maisie, come on!” he called after me. I heard him jog a bit to catch up. “Just stop, okay?” I obliged and we stood under the canopy of trees that covered the path. Buds were starting to sprout, and the breeze was warm. If we weren’t in the midst of a fight, the fresh spring air and dappled sunlight would have been romantic. “I’ve read a lot about how single parents should and shouldn’t introduce someone they’ve begun dating to their kids. It was so early for us and I wanted to be careful not to upset Shannon.”

Laughing, I said, “Harlan, get your head out of books and into reality. She’s sixteen, not four,” I turned and started marching to the lodge once again. He followed. “Besides, she seemed pretty excited when she thought we were a couple.”

“She’s a teenager! She gets excited about the dumbest things. It’s the important shit she doesn’t give a rip about,” he said as we reached the porch stairs.

I stopped dead in my tracks. “So, we’re a dumb thing?” I gestured between us.

“No! That’s not what I meant. I—I…”

I spun and marched into the lodge. Heading straight into the bedroom I went for the long cardboard box, stabbing the tape with one of the screwdrivers. Harlan stood quietly staring.

“You bought a bed?”

“Looks like it, huh?”

“For you?”

“Of course, for me. This is my room, isn’t it?“ I stood and plopped my hands onto my hips.

“So, are you saying you’re going to be staying here from now on?” His voice was thin and his vulnerable eyes and knitted brow made my chest ache.

“Yes? Maybe? I dunno.”

“What do you have against my place?” His anger came back full force. “Why won’t you just stay there so I can get a decent night’s sleep knowing you’re safe?”

This was no longer about me fighting for my independence. I wasn’t creating a living space at the lodge to avoid sponging off Harlan. I was protecting myself. The way I’d acclimated to living with a pretty awful guy for a very long stretch was by acquiescing here and there. I’d accepted less than I deserved because I thought we loved each other. Harlan’s denial of me in front of Shannon really stung, and I knew if I accepted it and played his charade of business partners by day and sneaking around at night, it would chip away at my self-respect and set a terrible precedent for our relationship.

“I don’t want to stay in your guest room,” I said.

“You’ve made that abundantly clear.”

“If I stay with you, I want to be in your bed.” The anger melted from his face and his eyes darkened. He took a couple of steps toward me, but I held up a hand to stop him. “But that’s not possible right now. So, I’ve made other arrangements.”

He stared and let out a deep breath. “I didn’t know she was coming. I thought I’d have time before summer break to figure it all out. I should’ve told her the truth. ”

“You still can, you know.”

“No, I can’t. Not yet,” he said. His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. It’s just so…much.”

Change. So much change, you mean.

“You know, I think this is all for the best. You take the week to work out your family stuff. We can just be business partners, like you said.”

“Are you…are you breaking it off?” The fear in his voice made my throat hurt.

“No. I’m just pumping the breaks. We should take some time to think about all this and reconvene when Shannon goes home.”

He looked down at the ground. He swallowed in a labored fashion. “How do I know that I’ll get you back?” he asked.

“You don’t. And I don’t know that you won’t realize that your life is easier without me.”

“I won’t.”

“We’ll see.”

Squatting down, I finished pulling the tape off the box. If I looked at him any longer, my throat would swell shut. So, I distracted myself by pulling the long metal pieces from the box and laying them out on the floor.

“Will you still come over for meals?” I smiled.

“Of course. Who else am I going to mooch off of?” He smiled back.

“You want a hand with this?”

“No, I’m good.”

He watched me work for a moment. I pulled the plastic bag with the hardware in it from where it was taped to the inside of the box and picked up the paper with the assembly instructions. It was nearly impossible to focus on organizing the hardware and familiarizing myself with the instructions, considering a couple of laser-focused blue-gray eyes were burning holes into me.

“Do business partners ever hug?” he asked .

Looking up, I smiled again. “I doubt it, but I’m willing to bend the rules.”

I stood and walked to him, sliding my arms around his middle. In turn, he held me tightly, as though we were saying a tragic goodbye. In a very un-business partner move, he kissed the top of my head. I didn’t complain.

We stood holding one another for a solid minute. He finally pulled away and walked to the door. Just before he exited the bedroom, he turned to me.

“I like your haircut,” he said. He flashed me a pained smile and left.

Please, God. Don’t let this be a huge mistake. I think I could love this guy.