Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Twenty-Five

Results and Changes

After my ultrasound, I made some calls standing on the sidewalk in front of the doctor’s office, excited to share my news and in desperate need to connect with someone, anyone that cared about me. After spending a day feeling sad and rejected over Harlan’s refusal to come with me, I somehow made it through the appointment without crying either sad or happy tears.

If I hadn’t refused his proposal, this would have been a really thrilling day for us. He would have been beside himself to see the little guy on screen. It would have been a celebratory moment when the ultrasound tech said, It’s a boy . And then Harlan would have been adorably impossible to live with—going on and on, teasing me with a bunch of macho dude crap about having a son .

Instead, I was alone on the exam table when I heard the news, praying that he’d at least smile when I told him later.

I called Brian first. He was over the moon about it being a boy. As the father of two daughters, I discerned a slight jealousy in his voice between his hearty congratulations. I was sad I wouldn’t be seeing him that night thanks to the postponed opening. I missed my brother and I felt a little bruised and lonely.

Simon was my next call. He squealed and went on and on about how gorgeous my little boy would be thanks to his Adonis of a father. I loved Simon, but as besties go, it was tough to have him as my distraction from Harlan, considering how obsessed he was with the man.

When I called my mom, I was less than surprised at getting her voicemail. She was on a cruise ship to Alaska and was unlikely to answer, but it felt like the kind of news you call about regardless. I left her a message about her grandson even though I wasn’t going to hold my breath waiting for a response. She and Dad, being the old school Catholics they were, were miffed about me having a baby out of wedlock, so she wasn’t rushing to organize a shower or anything.

My pity party went into high gear when I realized that with three phone calls, I’d pretty much covered all the people in my life who’d want to know my news. Everyone, that is, except for the baby’s father.

I climbed into my truck to head home. Patty had made good on her word to get the truck back to me. She used returning it as an excuse to have a girl’s weekend in Saugatuck with her gal pals. I hooked her up with Simon and Michael and got her a great deal at the Firebrand as a thank you for her support.

When I pulled up to the lodge Harlan was watering the annuals we’d planted out front. Ralph was at his side. It was jarring to see him so soon upon arrival. He was typically off on the property somewhere or repairing something in the guts of the lodge. I wasn’t mentally prepared for talking to him yet.

Ah, hell. Doesn’t matter. It’s not going to go well. It never does.

I parked my truck and headed directly into the lodge without looking back. I was tired of chasing him, tired of apologizing, tired of begging for scraps of his attention and the kindness I used to take for granted. Heading straight for my bedroom, I flopped on my back on the bed. Since we weren’t opening that night as originally planned, there was no reason I couldn’t take a nap and maybe shut out all the worries and tension for one afternoon.

The telltale boots and the tick-tack of thick and stumpy dog paws tapped across the porch, followed by the screen door swinging open and shut.

“You in here?” Harlan’s low voice called.

I didn’t even have the energy to answer. It was really unlike me to leave him hanging, but I was just so sad and tired, I couldn’t form words. His footsteps made their way to my door. It was open, so it didn’t take long for him to spot me.

Why did I make the mistake of looking at him? And why did he have to be so damn beautiful? His black T-shirt was wet with sweat around his neck and armpits, and his shorts had dirt smudged all down the front as though he’d been wiping his hands there. I immediately wanted to shower with him. Tears welled in my eyes, knowing that he wanted nothing of the kind from me. I threw my forearm over my eyes.

“So?”

That’s all he said. I was instantly irked. I didn’t move my arm and I gave him a nice long pause like all the ones he was always giving me.

“So what?”

“How’d it go?”

“Fine. I’m fine. Baby’s fine. Everything is fine.”

“That’s it?”

There was a strange note in his voice. If I didn’t know better, I would have said it was curiosity with just a dab of excitement. But surely that couldn’t be. This was the Ice King, right? He didn’t feel anything. Or at least he didn’t want me to think so.

“It’s a boy.”

“Cool. ”

It sounded like he was smiling, but I didn’t care at that point.

I rolled over and fell apart. I hadn’t cried in front of him since we broke up. But the dam burst and I couldn’t contain it.

He astonished me by walking to the bed and sitting down. I would have bet a million dollars that my tears would scare him off. But for a brief moment, I had my Harlan back—the one who’d walk through fire for me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

Between sobs and through the agonizing lump in my throat, I said, “It’s not supposed to be like this. We were supposed to go there together. You’re supposed to cheer and kiss me. You’re supposed to touch and talk to my belly and daydream about all the things you’ll do with our son.”

“Maisie—”

“But it’s not like that. We’re two very separate, cold marble pillars that will never come together. We’ll stand tall, silent, and apart forever. It just makes me feel so sad and alone.”

I really leaned into the crying then. Every second that went by without some reassurance from him only exacerbated my misery. And then, very unexpectedly, I felt his hand on my back and nearly jumped out of my skin. I must have really hit a pinnacle of pathetic if he was willing to touch me.

“Maisie…I’ve been thinking…”

My heart fluttered at the idea of him sharing his thoughts. Tamping down my excitement, I ran the backs of my hands over my soaking wet eyes.

Screw you, hope. You know better than to show up than at a time like this.

“I think once things are up and running, it might be best if I leave.”

I felt like I’d been hit by a semi. Rolling over, I propped up on my elbows. “What do you mean, leave ?”

There was a sadness in his eyes that made the hole he’d punched in my heart hurt even more than it already did. “I mean I’m going to move away. You are perfectly capable of running things on your own here. And I think I’ve been holding onto this place for too long. Plus…” He ran a hand through his hair, searching for the right words. “We’re making each other pretty unhappy. I just think I should go.”

A fresh wave of tears gushed out of my eyes. Considering the bombshell he’d just dropped on me, renewed sobbing was in order. I sat up and bawled into my hands. He tried to rub my back again, but I shook him off. I couldn’t bear that the first kindness I’d had from him in months was to smooth over to the agonizing pain he’d inflicted.

In a shaky voice, I spoke into my hands. “You said—you said you wouldn’t leave…our baby. You told me I could count on you.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore.” He took in a labored breath and let it out. “I’ll certainly support you and him financially.”

Sorrow turned to red hot anger in an instant. “I don’t want your fucking money!” I slapped his shoulder really hard and he stood up, walking to the end of the bed, presumably to get out of the reach of a wild woman. “I can’t believe that you’d volunteer to be an absentee dad! The Harlan I know would rather die than be away from his kid!”

“Well maybe you never really knew me,” he spat back at me.

“Or maybe you did the one thing I never thought you’d do…you changed.”

In the midst of one of the most intense moments of my life, my senses were supercharged. My ears picked up on a car pulling up the gravel drive. Both of us perked up like meerkats at the sound. No one was supposed to be coming by. Jeff wasn’t coming to work on the plumbing until the following morning and our grand opening had been canceled. Nevertheless, someone had arrived.

Harlan walked out of the bedroom. I popped up and followed. He stood in the picture windows at the front, eyeing the car that had pulled up. I walked to the mini fridge for a bubbly water. They’d become my salvation with the onset of pregnancy heartburn. As I stood behind the counter and took a sip, Harlan let out a dread-filled groan.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Whoever it was, they weren’t someone he was glad to see. Well, considering what a cranky jerk he’d become, that really didn’t narrow down the list. But when the screen door opened, I was equally disgusted at our unexpected visitor.

Rob swept through the door with a grin and an overnight bag.