Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Activities and Arguments

The following couple of days were a bizarre roller coaster. Rob treated his time at the lodge like he and I were on a vacation together and Harlan stalked our every move. Rob wanted to try out every amenity and activity the lodge had to offer, but didn’t want to do them alone. And since I enjoyed watching Harlan become enraged at me engaging with my ex in any way, I was game to keep him company.

For the rest of Friday, I gave Rob a tour of the lodge and grounds, showing him all the changes while Harlan sulkily followed. Eventually he had to feed the dogs, so he headed back to his place, shooting me intense warning looks on his way out. Warning me against what, I wasn’t sure. Surely, he knew me better than to worry I’d fall under some romantic spell with the man we’d collectively eyerolled about for months .

That night I grilled steaks on the main floor of the tri-level deck out back. We’d ordered some really nice cuts of meat for opening weekend and I didn’t want them to go to waste. I did some veggie kebabs and some corn on the cob in foil on the grill to go along with it. I set a beautiful table on the deck and mixed up a pitcher of shandies. Rob kept me company while I grilled, sipping his drink and cheerily chatting.

I didn’t want to admit how comfortable and familiar this all was. He and I had always used to drink lemon shandies on hot summer nights. I sipped my beer-free lemonade and eyed his glass enviously. He eventually talked me into taking just a sip to kill the craving.

When it came time to cook the steaks, Rob cocked an eyebrows when I threw three of them on the grill. I was no fool—this wouldn’t be a dinner for two. And a mere couple of minutes later, my instincts proved correct. Harlan slid the glass patio door open and my heart stopped. He was fresh from the shower. His dark hair was damp and perfectly mussed. And from his neatly trimmed beard, I could tell that he’d put some thought into his appearance. How could a guy in jeans and a plain white button-down steal my breath? He walked up to me at the grill and lingered behind me. The fresh scent of his body wash and shaving cream enveloped me as he stood closer than he had in months. His fingertips skated gently up my arm and my knees turned to jelly.

“You want a sweater? The temp is supposed to drop.”

His voice was a honeyed, low coo that made every cell in my body vibrate with need. That is, until I reminded myself that it was an act. He had to let Rob know that even though we weren’t an item, he was the man in my life.

All business, I stepped around him and walked to the table to retrieve a platter for the corn and veggies. “I’m good, thanks.”

The only thing that ended up going right with that dinner was my cooking. I’d pulled off a pretty tasty meal on the grill and both guys were effusive in their praise. Other than that, the evening was fraught with tense looks and awkwardness. Harlan and Rob boasted, preened, and postured like two rams bashing their heads against one another to win access to a mate. Only, this mate was off-limits to both of them. I didn’t want Rob and Harlan didn’t want me, so what was the point? He was like the spoiled kid who didn’t want the toy, but didn’t want anyone else to have it, either.

By the time we finished eating, I was exhausted. Running interference between two territorial dudes wore me out even more than pregnancy did. Harlan helped me clear the dishes into the kitchen. I left them in the sink with the intention of washing up in the morning.

“It’s cool. You go to bed. I got these,” he said as he rolled up his sleeves to load the dishwasher. I wasn’t going to argue, considering I could barely keep my eyes open. When I turned to head out the door, I was pulled back by his voice.

“Why are you doing this?”

Turning around, I sighed as I faced him. “Going to bed? I’m exhausted. Should be pretty apparent.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Fine. At first, I wanted to piss you off. But now, I really do think it’s a good opportunity to test out our place. Rob travels for work a lot and he knows this place really well. He’s already given some useful feedback. And for some reason, my hate for him has waned ever so slightly. So, it’s not so unbearable.”

“It is for me. I can’t stand having him here. And…it’s torture to watch the two of you together,” he said, rinsing off a dish and loading it in the dishwasher.

“Why?”

“You and I had only ever talked about all the hateful parts of your relationship with him. I forget that you have a long history. You seem so…comfortable. He knows you really well.”

There was a thread of worry in his voice, as though he couldn’t compete with the shared experience between Rob and me. What a ridiculous notion. Just because you knew how someone likes their coffee or if they like their sheets tucked in at the bottom, doesn’t mean you feel actual love for them.

“Well, he was my husband for the better part of a decade,” I said. Harlan’s shoulders fell. “But if it makes you feel any better, he was a liar for most of that time and an awful lay for all of it.”

His burst of laughter set of a pang in my chest. “Oh right. I forgot that part.” What a treat to see his heavenly smile again. “You know, Maisie…I wanted to say—“

There was really nothing more in the world I would have wanted than to hear his next sentence, but something amazing happened and I just couldn’t contain it.

“Oh my God!” I cried, holding my hands out, trying to stop all sound and motion. I needed complete focus so I could hone in on what I’d just felt.

Harlan put down the platter he was holding and rushed to me. “Are you okay?”

It happened a second time. A tiny flutter, like little fairies flitting around, danced in my belly. “He moved. I felt him move.” My hands flew to my mouth and my eyes gushed happy tears.

Harlan stepped closer and grinned ear to ear, looking down at me. “Really? Oh, wow.”

My hands traveled down to stroke my bump. “From what I read, it could’ve started anywhere from a few weeks ago through now. It felt like forever,” I said, realizing that I hadn’t just been waiting eighteen weeks for this feeling. “God, I’ve waited so long.”

Overwhelmed with sentiment, I didn’t care if Harlan wanted to be part of it or not. I fell against him and had a good cry. Years of longing drained out of me as I pressed my face into his warm, muscular chest. His arms wind around me, making me sob even harder. He rubbed my back and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. For a moment, I was able to pretend he was my Harlan again.

Once my sobbing subsided, I looked up at him, amazed that his arms didn’t immediately fall away from me. He’d treated me like I had a very contagious, flesh-eating disease since we broke up, so all this touching was unexpected. He smiled down at me warmly.

“I’m guessing this isn’t anything that I could feel yet, is it?” He stepped back and slid his hand over my belly. He almost never communed with the baby and his touch made me light headed with joy.

“No, it’s like faint little butterfly wings right now. But I’m sure he’ll be doing karate soon enough.”

He fell to his knees in front of me and placed both hands on my bump. I was speechless. This was exactly the kind of moment I’d prayed for with him and it came out of nowhere.

“Hey little buddy. This is your dad.”

Please God, don’t let me faint from all the happiness.

“First off, keep dancing around in there. It makes your mom really happy,” he said, looking up at me with his misty blue eyes. “Secondly, let’s kick it up a notch, huh? It’s not fair that she gets all the fun.” I laughed and then sighed as his hands gently stroked my rounded belly.

My throat was so tight with emotion, I thought I was going to choke to death. Hope not only blossomed in my chest, it cross-pollinated with happiness, expectation, and dreams. I knew from the last few months that it was a trap to fully embrace this moment, regardless of how warm he seemed. Straightening my spine, I stepped back. I had to run before his face turned icy again so I could remember this moment the way it was.

“I’m really tired. I’m going to turn in ,” I said, walking to the kitchen door as he stood and headed back to the sink.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll uh…probably crash on the couch in the lounge. Just…in case you need anything.”

I stopped in my tracks and turned to him with a knowing grin. “The couch? Why would you do that? You’ve got a perfectly good bed at your house.”

“I figured I’d stick around in case Jerkwad needs anything in the middle of the night. I don’t want him waking you up. You need your sleep.”

And the fact that the lounge was between Rob’s room upstairs and mine on the first floor certainly had nothing to do with it. Stupid hope flashed in my chest once again. He was setting up a guard post. It was a possessive act—the type he used to do when he loved me. I decided to let it go before I got too excited about it.

“Okay. Well, thanks. Goodnight.”

“‘Night.”

***

I really overdid it the following day. Rob had an almost manic need to pack in as many activities into Saturday as possible and kept begging me to tag along. We swam in the lake, hiked in the woods, rode around in the paddle boat, played cornhole, and fished off the end of the dock. The entire time, Harlan always found some job nearby that needed doing. They were legit tasks, but it was pretty obvious he was keeping tabs.

The only time Harlan actively made his presence known was when Rob dragged me to the equipment shed and tried to talk me into riding four-wheelers. I wasn’t interested, but Rob put on the full-court press. Though I held my own against his onslaught of arguments in favor of riding, he just wouldn’t back down. Suddenly, a deep voice resounded behind me.

“She said no. Got it?” Harlan barked as he marched to my side .

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware I was talking to you,” Rob said, his spine stiffening with manly bravado.

Oh, here we go again.

“Well, I’m talking to you. And she’s not going on that,” Harlan said, sternly pointing at the four-wheeler.

“Listen, Stahl. I’m sick of this lurking caveman routine. You don’t own Maisie and you certainly don’t speak for her. So why don’t you just back the hell off?” Rob’s face flushed bright red as he balled his fists and walked up to Harlan.

Regardless of his tough guy voice and stance, I could tell he was a little scared. Who could blame him? The last time these two clashed, Harlan had cleaned his clock. Not to mention that Harlan was about half a foot taller and in far better shape.

“Listen, you ignorant worm. You don’t take a pregnant woman four-wheeling. At least not when she’s carrying my baby. So, your day of fun ends here. She already said no. Though I’m not surprised you aren’t respecting her wishes. You’ve never given a damn about what she wants, you selfish piece of shit.”

Whoa. Shit is getting real.

I tried to chime in, but the rams were back to butting heads and I couldn’t get a word in.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Rob said. “You’ve got a lot of balls commenting on my relationship with her—my very long-term relationship with her. How long were you together, like a month ?“ I wasn’t shocked to see Harlan take the time to pull out a stick of gum before responding. “What? You gonna do your whole angry stare routine? I remember that shit. You don’t intimidate me.”

And if the behavior of the two men hadn’t sunk to enough of a childish level, Harlan drove it home by punking Rob. He stamped his foot and thrust his shoulders forward, just to prove how much he did intimidate him. Rob jumped about a foot in the air and I stifled a surprised laugh .

Exhausted, hungry, and tired of playing referee, I’d had enough. I turned and started walking back to the lodge. “I’m going to get dinner started.”

When I got inside, I decided to hop in the shower. My very full day had left me feeling grubby and tired. The hot water was a wonder and the steam calmed me and helped wash away the constant tension of the two warring men in my life.

As I rinsed conditioner from my hair, I heard the creak of the door opening. I hoped to God I hadn’t latched it and it was just blowing open. But Harlan’s deep voice proved that theory totally wrong.

“Maisie? Are you in here?”

Jesus!

“No. I’m a hologram with the water running,” I said. “Of course I’m in here. The more important question is what are you doing in here?”

His voice was closer when he spoke again. He couldn’t have been more than a couple feet from the shower curtain. “We need to talk.”

“Right now?”

“Yes. Right now. Before that idiot gets back from four-wheeling.”

“I’m kinda naked.”

I expected a silence and got one. I nearly jumped mile when his hand appeared around the curtain, handing me a towel.

“Here,” he said.

He really wasn’t going to leave. All right then, Mr. Insistent. I’m going to go about my post-shower business. Let’s see if you’re so impervious to me.

I turned off the water and rubbed the towel over myself with the curtain closed. “Okay, fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“He’s gotta go. Now. I can’t take another minute of this.”

“Why are you so bothered? What’s he doing to you?” I asked, wrapping the towel around myself and opening the curtain. His fiery stare as his eyes travelled over me turned my legs to overcooked noodles.

“It’s not what he’s doing to me. It’s what he’s doing to you. He’s dragging you all over the place, wearing you out…and then putting you and the baby at risk like that…I mean come on!”

I walked past him, stood in front of the mirror, grabbed another towel and rubbed my head vigorously. Dropping the towel on the counter, I brushed my damp hair. He took a couple of steps until he was standing behind me.

“Harlan, I’m sure plenty of women ride four-wheelers when they are pregnant. It’s not like he asked me to swallow swords or eat feta cheese.”

“Don’t be cute. You’re not supposed to do extreme sports like horseback riding or motorcycling, or anything where you could get hit in the stomach, like basketball or hockey.”

I stopped brushing and turned around, looking up at him with a smile. “Have you been reading about pregnancy, Harlan?”

His cheeks pinked in the most adorable way. “Okay, yeah. A little.” A little for him was a library for most.

“How many?” I pointed at him with the brush. He avoided my eyes. “How many books, Harlan?”

“Just four,” he said. “Okay, five. I only have a few pages left in The Birth Partner .”

“Five books. Lord. At most I’ve read a couple of blogs and the pamphlet the doctor gave me at my initial appointment.”

I tossed down the brush, squeezed leave-in conditioner into my hands, and ran it through my hair. I could feel his eyes all over me. It was exhilarating after such a long time of feeling invisible to him. My skin heated as I continued to put on a little post-shower show for him. Grabbing my lotion from the cabinet, I started to apply it everywhere the towel didn’t cover.

Harlan cleared his throat. “Look, this is driving me crazy and I want you to ask him to leave. You’ve made your point. ”

“Oh really? What’s my point?” I put my foot up on the closed toilet seat and slowly slid my lotion coated hands down my legs and then back up, pulling the towel higher than I think he expected. He gave a cartoon gulp and then looked up at my eyes.

“You said you wanted to piss me off. Well, it worked. So, it’s time for him to go.”

I needed him to admit that maybe he was upset because he still cared. My only option was to torture him a little more and see if that shook his tongue loose. I put my other leg on the toilet and slowly massaged lotion into it. This time, I heard a deep exhale come from Harlan. I could sense that he wished to replace my hands with his.

I’m all for that if you decide you’re done hating me.

I let the silence stretch out as I finished moisturizing. Slowly, I dragged my hands along my arms, neck, and shoulders. When I was done, I put the lotion away and turned to him. I took the three steps it took to close the gap between us and stood almost touching him.

“What difference does it make to you? What am I to you, anyway?”

I looked up into his intense eyes. He invaded my space, walking me backward until I was flat against the wall. He placed his hands on the wall on either side of my head and stared down at me for what seemed like an eternity.

Ever so slowly and without breaking eye contact, his head lowered to mine. My heart pounded and my breath stopped. The moment was so celebratory, I could have sworn I heard fireworks explode and a big brass band playing the moment he pressed his lips to mine.

The kiss was soft and tentative at first, but in a flash, it erupted into a maelstrom of hot probing tongues, demanding lips, and racing breaths. One of his hands left the wall to wrap around my waist and pull me to him. My arms flew around his neck .

I was hyperaware that I was in nothing but a towel. My very sensitive nipples puckered and rasped against the terry cloth with agonizing sweetness as my body pressed against his. I would have loved nothing more than for him to pull the towel off along with every stitch he wore and have champion make-up sex right there on the bathroom floor. But I knew Harlan and I knew that wasn’t where this was headed. It had taken him this long to even consider kissing me. There was a long conversation with many excruciating pauses in my future before we ever got to that point. If we ever did. It was very possible he could pull out of this gold medal kiss and tell me he had found a house and was moving the next day. He’d become an expert at pulling away from me, so I’d grown to expect it.

But for now, his lips were on mine, his long, muscular body was pressed against me, and all was right with the world. He kissed his way across my cheek and down my neck. I sighed with appreciation.

“You smell amazing,” he said into my neck. He kissed along my collarbone and then made his way back up to just behind my ear. “So, you’ll tell him to leave when he gets back?”

Nice try, lover boy.

“No.” He dropped his forehead onto my shoulder and let out a frustrated breath. I didn’t even let him protest. “It’s just dinner and then he’s gone in the morning. I think you’ll survive.”

Lingering in his embrace, I stared up at him, praying he wanted to get back to the kissing part. But it was obvious he was in one of his patented pauses.

“So we’re just not going to talk about the kissing thing?“ I asked.

“No. We’re not.” His arm fell from my waist and he stood up straight, looking down at me. The lust in his eyes had turned to frustration. “I just don’t get it. How can you even be in the same room with this guy after what he did to you? ”

“I know it’s weird, but being able to be around him and not feel anything…it’s kind of empowering. Like, he isn’t the ghoul who ruined my life. He’s just a customer—a guy I know pretty well who paid to stay here. For too long, I’ve given him too much control over how I feel about me. And if I can be in his presence without some huge reaction, then I can finally be free.”

“You’re right. That is weird,” he said with a scowl and walked straight out of the bathroom.

His unceremonious exit didn’t bother me. It didn’t matter that I had no idea what that kiss meant. I only cared that it happened and that it proved Harlan wasn’t made of stone. He had feelings for me somewhere deep underneath all his stubbornness and hurt. The hope in my chest did a somersault and I didn’t bother trying to tamp it down this time.