Late Nights & Love Lines (Single Dad Hotline #2)

18. Orphanage for lost souls

18

ORPHANAGE FOR LOST SOULS

ROWAN

“ S ome people pay good money for hair that color,” Seren grumbles as she carries the cleaning supplies to the next stall.

“They do when they ask for it,” I reply. “You’re lucky Leo is accepting this as reimbursement.”

“Aren’t there child labor laws or something?” she asks when she enters a stall and gags. “Why are boys so gross?”

“That, my dear, is an age-old question. When you’re done with this bathroom, you’re done for the day. But you’ll do this daily until the end of July.”

“Did you tell my dad what you’re making me do?”

“This is much more lenient than I would have doled out.” Sebastian’s voice echoes against the metal dividers of the stalls. He can’t see Seren from where he’s standing, but I can.

Her little body freezes, and her face crumples, making me think this might be the first time she’s ever really been in trouble.

“What were you thinking?” Sebastian yells. “I understand that this is hard for you, Ser. It’s hard for us all. But lashing out isn’t the answer. You’re lucky those women aren’t suing us.”

The little girl slams the stall door closed and locks it.

Sebastian’s face shows his shock. His jaw is still reaching for his chest when he stalks toward the stall, and even though it’s not my place, I hold up my palm, and he stops immediately.

“Talk to her later,” I whisper.

He stares at me for long moments with his jaw twitching and the vein in his throat throbbing while I prepare myself for when he inevitably tells me to go to hell. But it doesn’t come, and after an intense stare-off, he spins on his heel.

“Find me in my office the second you’re done, Seren. Don’t make me come to you.”

The toilet flushes, and Seren exits the stall, washing her hands and studiously avoiding eye contact. But I catch her reflection in the mirror—it’s a mixture of sadness, regret, and rage.

Crap. She’s not done—I recognize the anger swirling in her pretty green gaze.

“What else do you have planned?” I ask gently.

This catches her attention, and she defiantly lifts her chin. “Nothing.”

“Seren, I thought we had an agreement. You said you’d tell me, and we were going to prank your dad instead. What changed?”

“What does it matter?” she yells, catching me off guard.

“I know you’re angry, but you don’t get to be disrespectful. I’m on your side here.”

She scoffs and pushes the mop bucket toward the exit. “That’s the biggest lie of them all. If you were on my side, you wouldn’t already be planning your next job. I heard you talking to your boss this morning—you can’t wait to get away from us.”

“What?” I ask, genuinely surprised. I did speak to Lottie this morning. She said she wanted to schedule a meeting to discuss something big for my next assignment, but nothing’s set in stone yet. Is that what Seren heard?

“Forget it. I didn’t expect you to stay. You’re all just like her.”

Seren’s words knock me back a step, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess why, but the worst part is, she’s right, and it hurts so damn bad. How can it hurt this much after only a few weeks?

She slams the door on her way out, but I stand mute.

I’m not her mother. I’m not even her real nanny. I’m a stranger helping out for a couple of weeks. She couldn’t have grown attached in such a short amount of time—could she?

The ache in my chest won’t go away. Instead, it festers like a rotten apple. But I’m so confused. The plan was always for me to leave. She knew that. Sebastian knows that. So why are my hands shaking and my stomach rolling as though I’m about to be sick?

Todays and tomorrows.

That ache ignites until my entire chest is on fire.

“Hello?” Leo’s voice rings loudly in the empty room. “Anyone in here?”

“C—come in. She’s all done,” I reply.

Leo walks in and inspects a few stalls. “Looks good to me. She doesn’t have to do this all summer, a few weeks is sufficient for me.”

I puff my cheeks on a slow exhale. “Let’s get through the next few days and then see if you still agree.”

His brows rise in question, but I shrug.

“I don’t know anything about anything anymore. But I should go check on her.”

Leo tilts his head to the left with a frown. “Are you okay, Rowan?”

My chin trembles, and I hate it. There’s an overwhelming burst of energy coursing through my veins that I can’t contain.

When I attempt to swallow the ball of emotion that’s gagging me, it cuts and tears at my sensitive skin.

Gulping for air, I drop my chin to my chest so he can’t read what I know is flashing brighter than a neon sign in my eyes—sadness. “Yup. I’m fine. I, ah, have to go check on her though.”

He steps out of the way, and I make a hasty escape. I walk back to the house feeling more unsettled than I have in years.

“You know,” Lottie says, taking a seat next to me. “I came here with something I thought would make you over-the-moon happy, but now, after seeing this.” She waves her hand toward the kitchen. “I’m not so sure I even want to say it out loud.”

Tension creeps in and heats my skin. “What do you mean?”

“You know I’m expanding.”

“Yes.” Why is she stalling? What doesn’t she want to tell me?

“I came here to offer you a partnership, in Paris. You’d basically be doing what I do here.”

Sweat breaks out over my body. It’s literally my dream job. It’s everything I want. I’ll still help children and families, but I won’t have the emotional attachment that comes along with it.

“Row?”

“It’s…that’s…everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asks gently.

I swallow hard as emotion prickles in my throat.

It is everything I want.

Or wanted , a traitorous voice says in my mind.

It’s freaking Paris, with minimal human contact and zero chance of me growing attached. So why does it suddenly feel like a death row pardon coming in too little too late?

“I just want you to be happy, Row. That’s what matters. Take your time and think about it, okay? Just make sure the decision you make isn’t one made out of fear.”

“Lottie,” her brother, Elijah, calls from the kitchen. “Come tell everyone that Beck’s lying.”

She pats my thigh. “Really think about it, okay?” she asks before walking inside. I don’t know how long I watch them, but my eyes are dry from barely blinking.

I’ve been in my own world since we arrived at Beck’s house, but the bomb Lottie just dropped had me zoning out even more, so it takes a few seconds to register that someone’s talking to me.

“Are you okay?”

Beck’s wife, Stella, sits beside me on the oversized sectional on their deck. Their vibe, this house, it’s all so surprisingly casual. They obviously have money, but their home has been designed and furnished with children in mind.

Even the ocean air is lighter here. Maybe the storms only brew over my head.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say with a smile that hurts my soul.

“I heard you had a rough day,” she says gently. This woman is a fixer. I sense it the same way I know when someone is bad for me. What did she go through that made her the way she is?

That’s the thing about remaining a loner. Those kinds of questions have never occurred to me before. But now I’m finding questions everywhere I turn.

Closing my eyes, I remember Seren’s face when she exited Sebastian’s office. But the devastation she expressed was nothing compared to Sebastian’s when he followed her out.

“They’re all hurting,” I say evasively.

“I can only imagine how hard that is. I don’t mean to pry, but it doesn’t seem as though you’re completely unaffected by it either.”

I mindlessly run my hand over Miles’s head. He crawled up next to me after dinner and now he’s passed out with his head in my lap. It’s taken the full hour, but I no longer feel the need to claw at the itching sensation where his cheek presses against my thigh.

Once I was able to settle, I was startled to find that my mind was quick to quiet again. Is it really the healing power of the ocean, or is it something else, something so terrifying I don’t even want to think the word into existence—home?

“I’m okay.” Even I can hear how hollow I sound.

Loud laughter in the kitchen draws our attention to the open glass doors.

I’d come out here because inside was…too much. People are everywhere, and I’ve never felt like such an outsider—given my history, that’s saying something.

But I haven’t been able to stop staring at them either. Beck and Stella’s family, Leo and his fiancée, and even a couple I’ve only met in passing have all opened their arms to Sebastian, Pappy, and Alexei as if they’ve always been a part of their blended family. The kids run wild and happy while the adults move around each other in a perfectly choreographed dance that I never learned.

Beck’s loading the dishwasher while Sebastian washes pans in the sink. Leo walks behind them, saying something that makes everyone laugh.

Alexei, who must be drying dishes on the other side of Sebastian, holds up a pot, and Beck points to a cabinet in the island.

Pappy and Elijah sit on the other side of the deck with their heads together as though they’ve known each other their entire lives.

Leo’s girlfriend, Tabby, joins us on the sofa holding a sleeping baby boy. “It’s so much quieter out here,” she laughs.

“Yeah,” I choke out.

I catch her in my peripheral vision, tilting her head back to find what has my attention.

“It’s a lot, huh?” Tabby asks.

My throat is too dry to respond, and I’m saved when Kade runs full speed into my side. I hold my hands out to stop him from jumping on his brother’s head.

“Row-row.” Excitement shines in his eyes. “I love Ruby.”

Tabby and Stella laugh out loud, but my palms feel clammy.

“I’m glad, buddy. You’re having fun?” I ask, praying that I can keep the internal trembling I feel from the words.

“Yup. I’m goin’ to marry Ruby.”

“Oh boy.” Stella giggles. “You’d better see what Uncle Beck has to say about that.”

My face snaps to hers. Uncle Beck? Does that sort of thing happen that fast? Can you just say someone’s your family and have it be true? I can almost feel the color drain from my face.

Kade must have taken her words as a challenge because he runs back into the house, yelling for Uncle Beck.

“I’m sorry,” Stella says, her unease softening her tone. “Did I say something wrong?”

I shake my head even as sweat trickles down my spine. What the heck is happening to my body right now?

“Do you have a big family?” Tabby asks. Her demeanor has changed as well, and she’s approaching me as you would a wounded animal.

“I don’t have family,” I admit. I don’t even know why. I’ve always evaded the question before. “Not since I was sixteen. They’re alive, but not to me.”

What in the ever-living hell is wrong with me? I don’t share. I don’t open up. And yet, here I am spilling my freaking guts like we’re at a sleepover having alcohol for the first time. I eye the wine glass on the table beside me, but I didn’t even drink the first glass Sebastian handed me.

“I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through,” Stella says. The sincerity in her voice is unnerving. “My whole life, it was just me and my mom. We moved so much I never even truly learned how to make friends, so when I entered this” —she sweeps her hands out in front of her to encompass the chaos happening in her kitchen—“it was completely overwhelming.”

“But now you’re all related?”

“Hey, guys.” Bella sits beside Tabby, holding another baby.

“Hey, Bell,” the other women say in unison.

“Rowan’s overwhelmed by the family dynamic,” Tabby explains. I’ve learned quickly that Tabby doesn’t have a filter of any kind.

“Oh, no. I was—I was just thinking out loud,” I say.

“Good grief. It’s so overwhelming.” Bella giggles. Her voice is wispy and gentle. It matches her personality. “I still have to hide sometimes.”

“Tabby and Beck are cousins. Leo grew up with them,” Stella says. “The rest of us are all loners who found our hearts and souls here in Sailport Bay. We’ve made our own little family. Well.” Stella laughs. “Obviously not little. And even though Beck has a loud bark when it comes to business, I knew the second he told me he was partnering with Seb that our family was about to expand again. Especially after learning what they’ve been through.”

“Yeah.” Tabby’s expression is soft—warmth radiating from her with gentle ease. “We’re an orphanage for lost souls—a place to belong. All of us have felt lost at one point and had resigned to never finding love or happiness, and in some cases, ourselves. But Sailport Bay is magical—destiny’s landing spot.”

My gaze snaps to Pappy. Did he put them up to this?

“Oh, we’ve heard all about Pappy’s thoughts on destiny, and I’m not sure he’s wrong,” Bella says. “But what Tabby said is true.”

My attention returns to the kitchen. Sebastian’s smile is easy and carefree. He belongs here, with these people who are taking him and his kids in as part of their own.

Inexplicably, moisture collects on my lashes. I’m happy he and the kids will have this. They deserve all the love a big, mostly sane family can give them.

“We’ve seen how Seb looks at you,” Stella says, bumping my shoulder with hers. “Applications to the messy mansion are always open. So, if you’re thinking about staying, we’re all here for you too.”

Todays and tomorrows.

“Oh,” I splutter. “That’s very…kind of you.” I shrug with a sadness that makes the movement sluggish. “I’m not really the sticking around kind, you know? I’m always ready for a new adventure.”

Roaring laughter comes from the kitchen, stabbing me in the chest with each shake of their bellies.

“I’m…temporary,” I mutter so softly I’m not sure anyone heard me.

“I thought I had an expiration date once too,” Stella says ruefully. “But sometimes you really can’t fight destiny.”

I replay her words in my head as they change subjects and talk around me. By the time the gathering comes to a close, my mind is still challenging her sentiment because what happens if your expiration date is stronger than your destiny?

Like clockwork, my phone rings at eleven. I’ve been in bed for close to an hour, but I haven’t been able to sleep.

“Single Dad Hotline, I’m your helper, how can I help you?”

“Technically we were together all night, so how come I still miss you?”

My throat catches. I knew it was Sebastian calling, but the way he unabashedly lays out his feelings still catches me off guard.

“You were pretty busy all night. It was nice to see you so happy. You belong with them, Seb. They care about you and the kids.”

“Yeah. The boys are happier too. They have a freedom here they never have in Boston.”

“Are you thinking about staying in Sailport Bay? P—permanently?”

His sigh flows through the connection and kisses my cheek. “It would make work easier, at least for now, but I’ll have to talk to Seren and probably her therapist because I have no idea what the right call is for her anymore.”

“You’re a great dad, Seb,” I whisper. “Those kids are very lucky to have you. The boys have made this transition almost seamlessly. I’m sure they miss their mom, but you’ve done an amazing job of being there for them. That’s a testament to the kind of dad you are.”

He grunts on the other end of the line. “Honestly, not much has changed from when I was with their mother. I was the parent who did carpools and doctor appointments. I took them to extra curriculars and playdates. The more I recall of our past, well, I’m realizing Mya acted more as a warm body to be present when I had to work. Physically she was there, but she was never really emotionally available to any of us. I chose not to see it because I wanted that nuclear family so badly.”

“Have you…have you heard from her?”

Sebastian growls as if the pain is being ripped from his throat. “I tried to call her a few weeks ago. I wanted to lay into her for not even attempting to contact the kids, but she must have changed her number. I called her father, but it didn’t seem as if he knew it either.”

“Isn’t that a little…suspicious? I’d think that even the worst narcissist would make contact if only to keep their claws in them.”

“Probably,” he admits. “But I don’t have the energy to put toward her, not when I’m doing everything to be both parents for all of them.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me.

“My mom never wanted me,” I blurt, then squeeze my eyes shut and drop my forehead into my open palm.

Silence fills the line until I pull the phone away from my ear to check the connection. When I do, my door opens, and Sebastian’s silhouette is backlit by the hallway light.

I push to a sitting position and lean against my headboard, waiting for him to make a move.

He enters quietly, shuts the door, then crosses my room and climbs in beside me. I’m still holding my phone in my hand, so he takes it and places it on the nightstand.

“Tell me,” he whispers.