Learning to Love (New Zealand Sailing #1)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Ellie

After the first night together at Sam's house, he drove me to work in the morning. He messaged me during the day, sent me a funny duck meme.

We saw each other nearly every night, mostly at his place, as I didn't want to disturb Tayla. I took Daisy with me a few times as well. She sniffed his house from top to bottom, and settled in the middle of the sofa, like the Staffy princess that she is.

It's late November and the weather continues to be mild. We've been going steady for a couple of months now, and I have a day off work this Wednesday. Sam will bring Corey round to mine and Tayla's in the evening. We'll have some dinner and drinks, and we'll have each other's measure, I'm sure.

I'm a bit worried, as I have an inkling Corey might not be my number one fan. Tayla hasn't really crossed paths with Sam since that first night, when she implied he may have a small dick. I have a good laugh at the memory.

Tayla's at work today, visiting schools in her educational psychologist role, and she'll be back around 5PM.

I walk Daisy around the neighborhood, then lead her home, and go out again to pick up some groceries to prepare dinner. I'm going to make a large lasagna for everyone to share with some garlic bread and salad. The boys are in charge of drinks tonight.

I'm so excited to see Sam, I've missed him over the past couple of days.

As I'm waiting for the checkout operator to process my items, my attention is drawn to the flat screen TV in the corner.

“We have breaking news. The New Zealand team has just capsized while training on the Auckland Waitemata harbor. This is an ongoing incident, more news as they come in”.

I register the TV presenter's words through a fog. I'm fixated by the images showing this huge boat tipped nose down in the water, some of the sailors bobbing along on the surface, boat debris floating, and my Sam, and Corey hanging on for dear life at the back end of the boat sticking up 30feet in the air.

“$70.25 please”. The girl looks at me as if I'm crazy. I must look stricken. I wave my card for contactless payment, pick up my bags, and run to my car. I dial Sam's number repeatedly, only to be greeted by voicemail. I send him a brief message:

“Please let me know you're ok”.

I'm sobbing and shaking inconsolably in my car. I could drive down to the dock. Or maybe he's in hospital, but which one... I could start calling all of them, but I'm not next of kin. The phone's vibration jolts me out of my frantic thoughts, and I answer without checking who it is. Tayla's concerned voice echoes.

“Babe, I saw the news. Is everything alright?”

I let out an uncontrollable sob. “I don't know, he's not answering. He looked hurt”.

“Where are you? Do you need me to come home early?” Tayla is such a good friend. Her voice soothes me.

“I'm at the supermarket, in my car. I'd bought everything for dinner, and then I saw the news. I feel foolish”. I'm crying so hard, I'm hiccuping.

“You're not foolish, it's normal to care about him. Go home now, and keep the phone line clear in case there's news. I'll message you later on. Let me know if you need me back home”.

I quickly end the call, and make my way home as fast as I can. My phone stays silent all throughout, and nerves dance in my belly for the rest of the afternoon, worrying whether I just lost the love of my life.

Sam

It was supposed to be just an ordinary training day in the lead up to the Sanders Cup races next year in December. The wind speed was about 12 knots, not too fast, not too slow. The guys were pumped after we tried, and succeeded on some tricky manoeuvres around the expected course.

I steered sharply to round a corner on the home straight, thinking that only in a couple of hours I can see Ellie again. My steering took Corey by surprise, and he lost control of the sails in a gust of strong wind.

As the boat nosedived into the ocean, sending Florian, Jake, Matt and Jay crashing into the waves, several thoughts went through my head in an instant.

They say that when you're close to death, your whole life flashes before you. I haven't lived that long, and I have so much more left to do and see in this whole wide world.

I thought of Thea, and how we played as children into the waves. I thought of what she could have become. She was always the better swimmer between us.

I thought of Ellie, and my heart ached. I can't imagine my life without her in it.

I thought of my parents, and how would they feel to lose another child.

I thought of Corey and the boys. If by a miracle we survive this unscathed, what's it going to do to the boat? It's surely ruined. Our hopes of competing next year may be dashed.

The stronger wind tipped the boat on its side, leaving Corey and I suspended 30ft in the air, surf thundering around us.

I'm dangling in a precarious position and I wonder whether I should just jump in the ocean, but there is so much debris, carbon fibre, and boat equipment, that I worry I might knock myself unconscious.

The shore team is radio-ing everyone in. Eight voices reply, and I feel very relieved that we've all made it out of this one alive.

A rescue crew is gathering up everyone stranded, and they gently winch our boat back on its hull. Corey and I jump straight out, to inspect the damage.

Corey doesn't say a word to me on the way in, and keeps his silence in the medical bay, where we all get checked for injuries. Scrapes and bruises is the general verdict, and we all look a bit worse for wear. My right hand feels raw from holding on so tightly, so I have it bandaged.

“Boys, what happened out there?”. Coach tries to coax an answer out of us. Corey looks out the window.

“I dropped the ball. Steered too strongly in the jibe. Sails couldn't keep up”.

“You almost fucking killed us, that's what you did.” Corey sounds really mad. I don't think I've ever seen him so intense. He runs his hands through his wet hair. “And you broke the fucking boat. Millions of dollars down the pan”.

“Hey. Hey. It was a mistake. Not like you never make mistakes, Corey”. Coach intervenes. “We'll fix the boat, and have it ready to WIN by next year”. He points at us. “YOU need to fix your friendship”. He leaves us in the medical bay, and it looks like our friendship, just like the boat, may need more than a sticking plaster.

“Your mind was elsewhere. Don't think I haven't noticed your stupid smile when steering, instead of keeping your eyes on the ball”. Corey gets up from his chair by the window, and walks towards me.

“I'm sorry. I was thinking about something else. It won't happen again”. It's too dangerous to think about Ellie when the lives of 7 men depend on me.

Corey stands close now, and I can see the beginnings of a scar on his cheek. He's not going to be happy about that.

“Man. Bro. Listen to me. How long have we been sailing together? 15 years?”

I nod. It feels like a lifetime.

“You and I, we're married to the sea. We go away, we come back, and that's how it's always going to be. Let her make a life with someone who's going to be around”.

Corey sure does have a way with words. Probably should have been a lawyer. The prick.

“I can't”. The simple truth on my face stops him in his tracks.

“We're supposed to go to her place for dinner tonight, so you guys can meet, remember?”. Feels like aeons since we made these plans, last week. Today I've probably aged a few years, and sprouted some gray hairs.

Corey shakes his head. “Are you crazy? We just had an accident. Your fault.” His eyes narrow. “Mostly”.

“We don't have to do anything, just turn up with some wine, and hold a conversation. You are able to do that, I think”. I can't believe I'm managing to crack jokes after being one step away from drowning.

For the first time this afternoon, he laughs. “Does she have any hot girlfriends?”.

I shrug my shoulders. “There's her flatmate Tayla. She's into yoga and essential oils and shit”.

Corey makes a gavel on the sound block gesture: “Sold”.

Back at my locker, I turn my phone on, and I'm greeted with a deluge of missed calls, voicemails and messages. Oh shit. The boat capsize must have made the news. I bet everyone is worried sick.

I call mum, assure her I'm ok, and that I'm definitely coming down for Christmas. I message everyone else, from my brother to Paddy.

I leave the most important call until last. Ellie's voice is trembling, and instantly feel the need to see her, hold her, tell her everything will be ok.

“Hey you. I'm sorry I couldn't answer sooner… I'm ok, could be worse… Are we still on for tonight?...Yes, we're both coming. See you soon.”

After I hang up, I get ready to face the media. They'll have a million questions on what happened, and what caused it. I just need to hold on, while the storm rages.