Life on the Naughty List, or What the Elf!

2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A fter getting off the phone, I sat on my couch and made a list of everything I needed to do over the next couple of hours. Shower, pick my outfit, pick my audition song, and don’t freak out. The first three were going to be easier than the last one. Thankfully, I knew who I needed to reach out to help with the last three.

I scrolled through my phonebook until I found the number I was looking for and hit the call button. There were three rings before I heard a groggy voice pick up.

“This had better be an emergency.”

“It is… I have an audition.”

As if he’d had a sudden jolt of coffee, my best friend Johnny immediately perked up. “When? Where? What for? What are you going to wear? How long do you have to prepare?” The rapid peppering of questions didn’t leave me time to think, let alone answer any of them.

“Slow down there, tiger. As for the questions, today, Actor’s Equity, new Christmas musical, I haven’t a clue what I’m going to wear, and a couple of hours.”

“That doesn’t exactly leave us much time, then, does it?” I love how my audition suddenly became a problem for both of us. But then, that’s why Johnny Braxton was my best friend. It also helped that he lived in the other tower, so he could be at my apartment as soon as he threw on some clothes.

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

“I’m not going anywhere. See you when you get here.”

Johnny ended the phone call without saying goodbye. I honestly wasn’t sure who was more excited about my audition, him or me.

Johnny Braxton was also in the business. At the ripe old age of 26, he was a veteran of a few Off-Broadway shows and had even made a Broadway debut as a replacement right before the show closed. Johnny had the perfect combination of a pop singer’s voice and matinee idol good looks. Of course, I’m one of the few people who knows Johnny’s real name is Steven Smith. When he had earned his Equity card, he knew his real name was way too generic, so he had created Johnny Braxton, and the man, the myth, and the legend was born…at least in his head.

Johnny had also been at the ill-fated night of The Faith Healer opening. I hadn’t known Johnny, but he’d known Asher. Apparently, half of Broadway had known Asher. I was the only person who hadn’t realized how much Asher had gotten around. I’d heard of love blinders before, but I had never experienced the phenomenon myself. In retrospect, there were so many red flags. I should have seen Asher’s obvious deception and sleeping around, but I was in love and didn’t want to see what was right in front of my face.

I pulled out a notepad and started jotting down some possible audition songs. Thankfully, my cabaret act provided me with an entire slate of possibilities. I wanted to have some ideas on paper before Johnny showed up and tried to take over my audition. He’s a force of nature when he gets on a mission.

Three loud raps on my door caused me to jolt. I put the pad and pen down on the end table, walked through the apartment and opened the door.

“So, what do you have for me?” Johnny said, breezing by me and heading right into the living room.

“I made a list of audition songs. They’re on the legal pad there,” I said, motioning to the end table.

He picked up the list and started reading them out loud, “‘I Hate Men’ Kiss Me Kate , ‘Forget About the Boy’ Thoroughly Modern Millie , ‘Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair’ South Pacific , ‘One Hundred Easy Ways (To Lose a Man)’ Wonderful Town , ‘Men! (Horrible Men!)’ Calamity Jane , ‘What Did I Ever See in Him?’ Bye, Bye Birdie , ‘Could I Leave You’ Follies , ‘Get Out and Stay Out’ 9-5 … Honey, are you trying to get the gig or are you trying to depress the creative team?”

“What?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “These are the songs from my cabaret act.”

“I should have known. I need to see the new show. But really, Erika? This is like a jilted woman’s breakup playlist. Didn’t you say this was a Christmas musical?” I nodded. “Then don’t audition like you’re gearing up for Mack and Mabel .”

I hated to admit it, but he had a point. Ever since my breakup with Asher, I haven’t exactly been the most jovial person. I sighed and asked the obvious question, “Then what do you recommend?”

“What was your go-to audition song before the incident ?“ He added extra emphasis by gesturing with air quotes.

I tilted my head and tried to think back to songs of auditions past. “‘Not a Day Goes By’ from Merrily We Roll Along .”

“Nope. Too depressing.”

“‘Back to Before’ from Ragtime .”

“Honey, you’re thirty-two, not fifty.”

“‘You Don’t Know this Man’ from Parade .”

“Again, depressing,” he drawled out the word to emphasize his dissatisfaction with my choices.

“‘Woman’ from Pirate Queen .”

“Potential, but not necessarily a great audition piece. Didn’t you sing ‘My Most Beautiful Day’ from Tuck Everlasting at a benefit once?”

“Yeah, but I’m not exactly twelve. I’m not the ingenue anymore, so not sure how appropriate that one is.” We both sat there for a moment as we racked our brains. Finally, an idea popped into my head, “What about ‘Fable’ from Light in the Piazza ?”

“Do you think you can pull it off? I mean, I’m not trying to be rude, but that’s not exactly an easy piece.”

“It was my go-to audition song when I first came to New York. I fell in love with Light in the Piazza when I was in high school. It was the first musical I saw in New York. Most of my classmates found the show boring, but the entire show transfixed me. Watching Victoria Clarke sing that song caused me fall in love with musical theater.”

“I like it! And if the creative team asks you why you chose the song, you have a good story to tell.”

With the audition song selected, we went into my bedroom, and Johnny rummaged through my closet until he’d put together the perfect audition ensemble. I had to agree with him. The outfit was chic and had a Christmasy element in the color combination.

“I don’t want it to come right out and say, ‘Deck the Halls,’” Johnny said, “but I think it has the air of Christmas without hitting you over the head with it.”

I nodded in agreement. With the song and wardrobe choices out of the way, we made our way back into the living room. We sat back down on the couch. I tucked my legs under me and leaned back against the throw pillows as Bootsy jumped up and curled up in my lap.

“So, how are things with you and Amani?” I asked.

“We’re still in the blissful state of love.”

“You realize that’s gag-worthy?”

“ Pshaw ! You wish you had what Amani and I have.“ As quickly as the words were out of his mouth, he blanched. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I can be such an insensitive buffoon.”

“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “There’s no need for self-flagellation. You’re more right than you’re not. I wish I had what you and Amani had. You’re disgustingly cute.”

“I know. I’m disgusted by our cuteness some days.”

Amani Samara was a sous chef at the upscale restaurant called Evergreen Mirror. Amani had graduated from the Culinary Institute of America up in Hyde Park before moving to the city. He’d worked his way through the restaurant industry before landing the job at Evergreen Mirror. There was a three-month waitlist to get reservations. Thankfully, I had gone with Johnny a couple of times since Amani started working there, so I could attest to how excellent the food was.

“Honestly, I’m over being single. After three years of acting like a nun, I need to get myself back in the saddle and start dating again. I’m afraid I’m too rusty at this point.”

“Well, get out the oil Tin Man, and let’s loosen you up.” A smile crept up Johnny’s face. “Wow, that sounds dirtier than I intended it to sound.”

“Please, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. I know how your mind works.”

“That’s a dangerous place to peer into. I almost feel like I should apologize.”

“Apology accepted.”

“As for dating, I may know someone who would be a wonderful date for someone needing to use training wheels.”

“Oh really?” I questioned with a tilt of my head. “Do tell.”

“His name is Ralph Seegers, and he’s a publicist. And don’t roll your eyes at me,” Johnny said before I’d rolled them. “He’s a good guy. I don’t know much about him, but I’ve worked with him on a few projects.”

“I’ll think about it. But I’m not willing to commit yet.”

“Okay. But as soon as you make up your mind, let me know and I’ll get it arranged.”

We spent the next twenty minutes talking about gossip from around the complex. By that time, it was almost 1:30, so I really needed to get into the shower and get moving if I was going to make the audition on time.

We said goodbye, then I headed off to get ready for my first major audition in almost three and a half years.