Life on the Naughty List, or What the Elf!

7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I practically skipped all the way home. The air had that crisp late October feel to it. The few trees that lined the streets on my home were already turning colors. If I really wanted to see leaves changing, I could always hike up to Central Park or take a day cruise up the Hudson River to look at leaves. When Asher and I had first coupled up, what seemed like decades ago but was only maybe six years now, we took one of those scenic cruises. We had a series of auditions that were a total bust one week, so we decided to treat ourselves.

I remember staying on deck the whole time, taking pictures while the world passed us. Asher had disappeared for a while. He’d gotten cold and had headed into the main cabin. In retrospect, I think the boat’s first mate also disappeared during that same period. Wow, I was oblivious.

I was so lost in my memory that I bumped right into a man on the street. “I am so sorry,” I said without looking at who I’d bumped into.

“Erika?”

I looked up to see who I’d run into and found a face smiling down at me, Amani Samara, Johnny’s boyfriend. “Oh hey, Amani. Sorry about that. I was admiring the season.”

“Which season? The garbage smell season? The rat season? Or the jackhammer season? Oh…I know, the siren season.”

“Wow,” I started. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

“Nope, I always roll off the same side of the bed. Mine. Johnny has his side, and I have mine. Some nights, we meet in the middle for playtime, but we mostly stick to our sides of the bed like an invisible demilitarized zone between us.”

“Umm…okay. There’s so much to unpack there. I don’t know where to start.” I scrunched up my nose, shrugged, and gave him an award-winning smile. “But anyway, what has you grumpy today?”

“Just anxious. We had a reviewer from The Times show up yesterday at Evergreen Mirror. The executive chef was in a mood, and it rubbed off on me. I haven’t snapped out of it yet. Thankfully, I have the day off, so heading off to do a bit of retail therapy.”

“Ohh… Retail therapy is my favorite type of therapy.”

“Want to come along?” Amani offered.

“Nah, I need to make some phone calls. I was offered a role in a new Broadway musical opening this fall.”

“Whoa, you should totally have led with that,” Amani said before embracing me. “What can you tell me about it? Who’s the star? Is it you? When can you get Johnny and me tickets?”

“Slow down there, cowboy,” I said, holding out my hand and laying it gently on his chest. “Nice pec,” I said absently. He shot me a questioning look, so I removed my hand quickly. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to feel you up. Wow, that was completely inappropriate of me. I am so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. Strange people want to reach out and touch me all the time…usually, they pay first, though,” he said with a wink.

“Eww…I so don’t need to know that.” I laughed.

“Just chalk it up to my innate Jordanian sexual appeal,” he said, adding an extra emphasis to his accent.

“But anyway, as for your questions, I don’t have many answers yet. I’m sort of a lead…I think. It’s all convoluted. I haven’t seen the script.”

“Wait, you accepted a role for a part you haven’t seen yet?”

“It happens more often than you realize. Sometimes the creative team waits until the first rehearsal to release the script and the score. It’s also quite possible that it’s not finished yet. When I worked on The Faith Healer , about half the score was ready when we started rehearsals. Well, they had a full score. It’s just most of it changed during rehearsals and the out-of-town tryout in Boston.”

“Are you heading out of town with this show?”

“Nope. From what my agent said, they are mounting it right here in the city with only about six weeks of rehearsals, so it will be a whirlwind experience, I’m sure.”

“Well…congratulations, nonetheless. To celebrate, I’m going to make you dinner tonight.”

“Amani, I can’t let you do that.”

He waved his hand. “It’s already done…unless you have other plans.”

“No other plans. Unless you call me and a bottle of wine plans.” Didn’t I use the same joke last night with Kirk?

“I’ll be over at your place at six to cook. I might bring Johnny.”

I let out an exaggerated sigh. “If you have to bring my best friend, I guess I can put up with him for the evening.”

“I put up with him every day. You can keep him entertained while I cook. He always tries to volunteer, and it never ends well.”

“Johnny can’t cook?” I asked.

“He once asked me if boiling an egg for an hour was long enough.”

I barked out a laugh. In my mind’s eye, I could totally see Johnny asking that question with absolute sincerity. To say that Johnny wasn’t the domestic type was putting it mildly.

“Another time, we were in the grocery store. He asked the woman working in produce where the guacamoles were located. I wanted to find a counter and hide behind it.”

“Oh my,” was all I got out. “I’m not a cook, but even I know what avocados are.”

“Precisely,” Amani stood there shaking his head, clearly lost in his own memory. “Well, I’m off to buy myself something nice. And now, I have a reason to pick up a few things at the grocery store. What do you want for dinner?”

“Surprise me.”

He wrinkled his brow a little as he thought about what he could cook. “I think I can come up with something you’ll like.”

“Amani, I’ve tasted nothing you’ve cooked that I haven’t loved. You’re an amazing chef. I can’t wait for you to open your own restaurant.”

“From your mouth to Allah’s ears?”

“Well…”

“No worries, I need to get a move on, too. Also, if there’s anyone else you want to invite over tonight, do so. You know me, I don’t know how to cook for small groups. Chalk that up to being raised in a large Jordanian household. Growing up with my Jaddi and Jaddati , parents, and six siblings, nothing was ever small.”

“And I thought growing up with two siblings and my parents made a crowded house…and we all had our own rooms.”

“There’s a reason I flew to America and studied up in Hyde Park for four years. I love my family. But right now, I love them on the other side of the ocean.”

“Don’t you miss them?”

“Of course, I do, but we talk multiple times a week with Zoom and FaceTime.”

“How often do you fly home?”

“Once or twice a year. It’s an eleven-hour flight on Royal Jordanian Airlines. The flight is direct from JFK into Amman, Jordan, where I grew up.”

“Wow, I thought the five-hour flight to Des Moines took forever.”

We hugged goodbye, and I walked into the building. The lobby was quiet. A young couple I knew lived in the other tower talked to the security guard, so I nodded and went right to the elevator bank. On the door was a taped sign that read, Down for Maintenance.

I let out a groan and headed to the staircase. At least I didn’t have groceries with me. The metal door banged behind me, and I looked up the concrete staircase. Well, time to get my workout for the week. I climbed. Now, I’m in pretty good shape. Sure, I’m not one of those crazy Broadway stars who takes eighteen dance lessons at the Broadway Dance Center every week, but the complex has a nice gym. And I even use it when I’m feeling particularly adventurous or bored. Okay, so maybe I should have seen inside the gym a few more days in the past couple of years than I have, but I’m not entirely hopeless.

On the tenth floor, I started feeling it in my calves. I was cursing the man who invented high-rise apartments by the fifteenth floor. And let’s face it, we know it was a man. No woman in her right mind would need to build a giant phallic symbol for people to live in.

By the twentieth floor, I cursed my existence and had an existential crisis of faith. Part of me wanted to lie down on the stairs and hope someone would take pity on me and call an ambulance. I passed a few people on the stairs, so I could have reached out for help and begged for mercy. But no, I was a glutton for punishment, so I pressed on.

When I rounded the 25 th floor, I prayed to every deity I could think of. Whoever spared me this indignance, I would convert and become a follower right then and there. “I’ll even shave my head,” I groused between gasps.

“I’d recommend against that,” a voice said from behind me.

I turned to yell at the voice, and Kirk stood below me with a goofy grin. His school bag was slung over his shoulder. His brown hair was in a messy mop. He had a little shine of sweat, but nothing like I imagined the cascading waterfall of sweat pouring off my body at that moment looked like. I was so startled I put my left foot down and missed a step. I lurched forward and practically threw myself at Kirk.

I screamed in terror, thinking I was about to plummet to my death and take Kirk with me, but his strong arms grabbed and steadied me.

“Easy there, tiger,” he said.

When I finally got my balance back, I put weight on my left foot and grimaced.

“You, okay?”

“I think I twisted my ankle when I threw myself at you.”

“Oh, so that’s your version of throwing yourself at a guy?” I wanted to snap, but his lopsided grin stopped me. Besides, I was still leaning on him for support.

“No worries, I can make it up the last couple flights of stairs.”

“Not on that ankle, you’re not. If it’s more than a simple sprain, you could do some real damage.”

“Well, I can’t sit here in the stairwell all night long.”

“I can carry you?” I looked at him with a gaze that must have been a mix of ‘ are you a creep ’ and ‘ are you for real .’ “I carry Carissra upstairs all the time. I promise I’m not some creepy guy trying to get his hands on you.”

“Isn’t that exactly what a creepy guy would say?”

“Maybe… But I’m not seeing any better options right now. Are you? Besides, you’re not that heavy. What are you…like 130 pounds?”

I stammered, trying to say something before finally blurting out, “You don’t ask a lady her weight.”

He laughed. “I was just guessing. You and Carissra have roughly the same build. She’s bigger than you, and I know she weighs 135 pounds. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m not offended,” I said, letting out a sigh. “This is humiliating. Let’s get it over with.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

With that, I threw one arm around his neck, and with his help, he lifted my legs and carried me up the next two flights of stairs. Laying in his arms, nestled next to his chest, I could feel Kirk’s strength. His nerdy teacher looks and baggy clothing did an excellent job of hiding what I envisioned was a pretty solid physique. Part of me wanted to rest my free arm on his chest to cop a feel, but I stopped myself. The last thing I needed was to make a habit of grabbing men’s pecs in public. The tabloids would have a field day with that one.

Before long, we stood on the landing to our floor. Kirk gently put me down.

“Just lean on me until we get you into your apartment,” he said.

“Where’s Carissra?” I asked, feeling the floor beneath my feet. “How is she going to get up here?”

“She’s at a friend’s house right now. The security guard said he’d call me when the elevators were working again. When that happens, I’ll call Carissra, and she’ll either come home on her own or I’ll go walk with her. She’s independent, but I still don’t like her coming home at night by herself.”

“Smart move. There’s still the random act of violence or criminal mischief around here. Thankfully, this is a nice neighborhood in a nice part of town. But crime is part of living in a big city, I guess.”

“Exactly.”

When we got to my door, I pulled out my keys, and he helped me inside the apartment, making sure Bootsy didn’t try another escape act. He helped me to the couch and made sure I propped my ankle up. He then helped me remove my shoe and sock, which was a bit on the humiliating side. He felt the ankle.

“Doesn’t feel broken. Wiggle your toes for me.”

“So, you’re a doctor now?”

“No, but I was a camp counselor when I was in college. Those boys were always spraining or breaking things. Got pretty good at tending to the basic cuts and sprains. Your ankle,” he said, gesturing to the purplish mark appearing, “is only slightly sprained from the looks of things. Staying off your foot for a couple of days with ice will get you back on your feet in no time. I wouldn’t overdo it until you’re 100 percent, or you could end up with a worse sprain.”

I let out a sigh, and he shot me an I’m sorry look. I put on my best fake smile. “I know it’s not your fault. And thank you, I really appreciate your help. I’m mad at myself for being stupid. With all my years of dance classes, you would think I’d be more graceful, but nope.”

“Do you have an ice pack?” he asked suddenly.

“No, but I have some frozen vegetables in the freezer.”

Kirk walked over to the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen mixed vegetables. He had me put the bag of frozen peas, carrots, and cauliflower pieces on my ankle. I winced at the cold, but the ice quickly performed the soothing sensation. Bootsy jumped up on the couch and nestled in beside me.

“Well, I really should head over to my apartment. Need me to check on you later?”

“Nah, I think I can handle things.”

“Great. I’m next door if you need anything.”

Kirk turned to leave. “Umm, actually…I’m having some friends over for dinner. It’s sort of a celebration. I would love for you and Carissra to join us if she’s home already. Amani said he’ll be here at 6:00 to cook, so it could be anywhere between 6:00 and 7:00, depending on what he’s making.”

“Sounds like fun, but you really don’t need to invite me—“

“ Pshaw . You fed me pizza last night and carried me to my apartment. It’s the least I can do. Besides, Amani is cooking, not me. Trust me, I would only threaten to cook for you if I was trying to punish you for something.”

He chuckled at my attempted joke.

“So, what are we celebrating? You said it was a celebration.”

“I got the role.”

His face lit up instantly. “I worried about your audition all day after talking about it last night. I’m happy to hear you got the role.”

“Still have no idea what the show is about, but I’m guessing I’ll find out eventually.”

“Well, you can tell me all about it over dinner. I’ll see you around 6:30?”

“Perfect!”

“Great. I’ll see myself out,” he said with a jerking motion of his head toward the front door. When the door closed behind him, I let out a sigh.

“That man will make a great husband one day.”

I pulled out my phone. I had a slew of messages that had come in from Johnny, so I hit the call button before bothering to listen to any of them.

“It’s about time you called me back,” Johnny said in lieu of a greeting. “I had to find out from my boyfriend that my best friend landed a starring role in a new Broadway musical.”

“I’m not in the lead. I’m a featured actor.”

“Whatever. You know that means they have some stunt casting they want to put in the lead roles, so the show will really rest on your shoulders.”

I rolled my eyes, but that didn’t have the intended effect when Johnny wasn’t here to see them roll. “If you’d slow down and let me talk, I’ll tell you what happened.”

“Gossip?”

“Of sorts.”

“I’m all ears.”

And like that, I told Johnny in minute detail everything that had transpired in the stairwell. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the hottie next door.

“I can’t wait to meet this new neighbor,” Johnny said with a purring sound in his voice.

“Hands off, he’s straight,” I blurted.

“Oh, and how do you already know this?”

“Because I may have assumed he was gay yesterday.”

“You didn’t?”

“I did.” So, I launched into the story of the previous afternoon and how it led to dinner with Carissra and Kirk.

“Well, I will take a quick nap before you and Amani get here. Tell Amani that at least one neighbor will join us and maybe two.”

The gasp on the other end of the line did its desired trick as I dropped that bombshell on Johnny.

“The hottie neighbor is coming to dinner?”

“My neighbor who helped me yesterday and today is joining us for dinner. Now, please be on your best behavior tonight. I don’t want to scare him from the building.”

“Would I do that?”

“In a heartbeat,” I deadpanned.

“True enough. See you at 6:00.”

And with that, he hung up the phone. I switched out the mixed vegetables for some green beans before downing an anti-inflammatory I kept around the house. I’m a dancer; stuff happens to us all the time. I can’t be running off to the doctor every time I injure myself or have a little inflammation. Thankfully, my primary care physician and I have an understanding. If it’s ever too bad, I promised I’d see her immediately.

I let myself drift off to sleep with the drugs in my system and green beans on my ankle.

The rapping sound on my door jarred me out of my sleep. A soft purring sound next to me, followed by a gentle kneading, told me that Bootsy was not happy about being roused out of his sleep. I glanced down at my watch.

“Holy Bejeezus! It’s already 6:00.” I stood up quickly and yelped. Once the sudden pain from my ankle subsided, I said, “I’ll be right there.” I looked down at the leftover green bean bag that was now de-thawed and lying on the floor. I hadn’t intended to sleep for that long, but apparently, my body had decided after the trauma of walking up twenty flights of stairs, spraining my ankle, then being carried up two more flights of stairs, it was tired.

As I hobbled toward my front door, I tried to keep my weight off my ankle.

“Gurl, you look like a mess,” Johnny said as he breezed past me, carrying a bag with him.

Amani came right in after him. “Don’t mind him. You know how he gets when he’s hungry.” Then Amani looked me up and down. “On second thought, what happened to you?”

“Did Johnny tell you about the stairs incident?” Amani turned and looked at Johnny, who shrugged. “Well, do I have a story for you.”

“I look forward to hearing it while I cook. Johnny said something about other guests. Do we have a number?”

“It’s one or two. Depends on whether the elevators are working now.”

“They came online about thirty minutes ago,” Johnny informed me as he plopped down on the couch. I looked down to see Bootsy was playing with the thawed bag of green beans. He would pounce on it. Then knead it a few times, and pounce again.

“Any chance we can add green beans to the meal?” I asked. “They’re already thawed.”

Amani looked over to where Bootsy was still attacking the wet plastic blob. “Do I even want to know?” I hobbled into the living room and put my foot up again.

“Ah ha,” Amani said, finally seeing the noticeable limp. “I didn’t leave you walking like that this afternoon. What happened?”

“Well—“

“Before you answer that,” Amani cut me off. “For future reference, frozen vegetables are good for ice packs only if you use them for about twenty minutes and throw them right back in the freezer. As it stands, that gooey mess down there should not be refrozen. I’ll start a broth and make a vegetable stew with them and anything else I find in your freezer, so they won’t go to waste.”

“Why not just heat them now?” I asked.

“The thawing process takes out some of the moisture from the vegetables, which causes them to lose their appearance, taste, and texture.”

“Then you may want to include the mixed veggies bag in the freezer. I used them earlier.”

“Have you ever thought about buying a regular icepack, my dear?” Johnny said casually. I threw a decorative pillow at him that had the Phantom’s mask stitched into it. He caught it and hugged it to his chest.

“I would have to agree with Johnny,” Amani said. “Regular icepacks work better than vegetables, and they’ll stay frozen longer. Thankfully, I have one with me you can borrow.” Amani pulled an icepack from the freezer bag he’d brought with him. He came over and helped me place it around my ankle. I winced a little as he molded it to the shape of my ankle a bit harder. “But really, get one of these for yourself,” he said after standing up and looking down at his handiwork.

“I’ll put that on my shopping list. But as to this afternoon,” I started, and caught him up on everything that had happened since I’d run into him on the street.

At some point during my story, Johnny had rummaged through my cabinets and fridge, found a bottle of wine, opened it and made sure I had a glass in my hand as I completed the story. Between the wine and the drugs I’d taken earlier, I was definitely not feeling the pain nearly as much.

At 6:30, there was a knock at the door. I looked at Johnny, scrunched up my face, and pointed at my ankle pleadingly.

“Okay, drama queen,” Johnny said begrudgingly. “I’ll answer the door.” He stood up and limped across the floor like Quasimodo, over-exaggerating how painful it was for him to do anything that resembled manual labor. “Well, hello there, sailor,” he said as he opened the door to a very surprised-looking Kirk.

“You’re in the right place,” I yelled across the kitchen. “Ignore my manservant. He isn’t house trained yet.”

“I tried to train him,” Amani said from the kitchen. “Trust me, I even stuck his nose in his mess, but it didn’t work.”

“I’m right here,” Johnny said, coming back into the living room. “And you know you love me…and my messes.” Johnny pulled up behind Amani in the kitchen and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He then turned around and leaned against a kitchen counter where he could see Kirk and me.

“How’s the ankle?” Kirk asked, coming to sit beside me on the couch.

“It’s doing better. But that could be the medical-grade Ibuprofen or the wine speaking.”

“For some reason,” Kirk started, giving me a wary look, “I’m betting you’re not supposed to mix those two together.”

“You’re probably right,” I admitted as I took a sip from my wine glass. I shrugged and shot him a what ya gonna do look, and he smirked back. “Where’s Carissra? Is she joining us?”

“She has homework to do.”

“Daughter?” Johnny asked from the kitchen.

“Niece,” Kirk said. “But I’m her legal guardian, so I’m basically her parent. I don’t want to use the word father with her because she had one of those. I don’t ever want to pretend or try to replace my brother.”

“That’s sweet of you,” I said. Absently, I let my hand fall to his forearm and patted him reassuringly. When my brain caught up with my hand, I quickly withdrew it and made introductions. “Amani is the gorgeous Jordanian in the kitchen. Johnny is the hot mess next to him.”

Johnny let out a dramatic guffaw.

“Just ignore him,” Amani called over his shoulder. “The rest of us do.” Johnny pouted and Amani leaned over and kissed him before turning back to whatever he was making on the stove.

“Well, I’m Kirk, and I live next door with my niece, Carissra.”

“You may have seen her around the building. Cute teenage girl with long black hair in a wheelchair.”

“I saw her this evening. She came into the lobby like Greased Lightning and headed for the elevators,” Johnny said.

“I hope she didn’t run anyone over,” Kirk said. “Still trying to get her to be more mindful of others.”

“Not at all,” Johnny reassured Kirk. “She looked like a woman on a mission.”

“Dinner will be ready in about five minutes,” Amani said.

“What are we having?” I asked. I’d been so caught up in the conversation I hadn’t paid attention to what Amani was doing in the kitchen.

“We’re starting with a simple gazpacho, and for dinner, I made albondigas, or meatballs, from scratch and are serving them in tomato sauce. For the albondigas, you have your choice of pork or squid. They’ll be served over a vegetarian paella Valenciana.”

“And for dessert, I made him promise to make sopapillas,” Johnny said.

“The Spanish kind, not the Mexican kind, mind you,” Amani added.

When Amani was ready, Kirk helped me over to the table.

“Do you think your niece would want a plate?” Amani asked.

“I’m sure she would,” Kirk said. “I’ll take it to her afterward.”

“Nonsense,” Amani said. “I’ll pack it up and walk it over real fast.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Kirk pleaded. “Please, don’t go out of your way.”

“It’s my pleasure. Besides, the food should be eaten when it’s the freshest to ensure you get the full flavor experience.”

Out of nowhere, Amani whipped out a to-go container, and he expertly packed up a complete to-go order. “I’ll be right back,” he said. Kirk tried to get up and intervene, but Johnny shook his head.

“Don’t forget to throw the latch so you can get back in,” I yelled after him.

“Thanks for the reminder,” I heard his voice say before he entered the hall. From inside the apartment, I heard him knock on the door.

“I better text Carissra to let her know dinner is being delivered,” Kirk said as he pulled out his cell phone and made quick work of the screen. His thumbs were a force to be reckoned with as they flew across the display.

A couple minutes later, Amani was back, and the four adults finally dove into our meals. The meal was terrific, and the conversation was even better. The boys grilled Kirk about everything from his hobbies to his blood type. Kirk handled their interrogation—well, Johnny’s interrogation—with grace. When Johnny got a bit too personal, I caught Amani giving Johnny dirty looks that Johnny either didn’t see or ignored. If I was a betting woman, I’m sure it was the latter.

When dinner ended, Kirk offered to help clean up, which Amani appreciated since I still couldn’t fully put weight on my ankle without it hurting. Instead, I found myself back on the couch with my ankle up, using Amani’s ice pack.

“So, I’m separating the vegetable stew into three containers. One will be in your fridge for tomorrow. The second I’m going to put in your freezer, please don’t use it on your ankle, and the last I’m taking for lunch tomorrow.” Amani shot Kirk a look and added, “Make that four. I’m sending lunch to school with Kirk tomorrow.”

“You don’t need to do—“

“Nonsense, it’s my pleasure. Besides, your use of the frozen veggies on her ankle led to its creation, so you are the mastermind behind the idea.”

“Yeah, I totally didn’t intend on the veggies I put on Erika’s ankle to be used as food. She didn’t own a real icepack.”

“I know. What’s up with that?” Johnny chirped in.

“Please,” Amani chastised. “If it wasn’t for me, I doubt you’d have one either. For that matter, I don’t know how you survived living in this city before we got together.”

“I have some survival skills,” Johnny pouted.

“Well, I must take off,” Kirk said as he and Amani finished the dishes. “I wish I could stay and chat all night, but I have an early morning tomorrow. Ahh…the joys of homeroom duty.”

“What time does school start?”

“The breakfast bell is at 7:45 and the first period starts at 8:15. I must be there about 7:15 to 7:30.”

“Oh my!” Johnny squealed in disgust. “I haven’t seen that time of the day in years.”

“Not true,” Amani but in. “We didn’t get home until almost 8:00 a.m. last new year.”

“That’s so not the same,” Johnny said.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Kirk. “See what I must put up with? I would walk you out, but,” I said, gesturing to my ankle, “I’m a bit indisposed.”

“That’s understandable. Thank you, Amani, for an amazing meal. And thank you,” Kirk said, turning to me, “for inviting me over and making me feel welcomed.”

“You are more than welcome. Have a good day tomorrow.”

“Oh and, Johnny,” Kirk started. “It’s been an experience meeting you.” Kirk followed the statement with a raised eyebrow in Johnny’s direction as he smiled. With that, Kirk left.

“I like him,” Johnny said as soon as the door closed. “Does he come in my size?”

“Oi!” Amani said from the kitchen, where he was packing up the last of his supplies. “I’m right here. What am I? Chopped liver?”

“No, you’re more like sweet chorizo,” Johnny said with a grin.

Amani said something in Arabic. For the first time, I was glad I couldn’t translate what he said.

The boys stayed at the apartment for the next hour and the three of us gossiped. We hadn’t had a good girl’s night in, in forever, so it was nice. Of course, half the gossip was about Kirk.

“He’s totally into you,” Johnny said at one point.

“We’re neighbors. We’re barely friends at this point,” I responded.

“Mm-hmm?” Johnny questioned.

“Besides, I don’t know if I’m even on the market for a relationship. I mean, sure, I want to get my date back on, but dating the neighbor is just asking for trouble. What if things sour?”

“Erika,” Amani said, “If I may?” I nodded for him to continue. “You seem to have a ton of reasons not to date, but you don’t have one good reason for being alone.”

“Did you just go Sondheim on me?” I asked. The puzzled look on Amani’s face answered the question, so I reversed tactics. “I will keep that in mind. I need to get back on the dating saddle. I don’t think I should do it with the neighbor. But, I definitely need to have someone on my arm for my show’s opening. I don’t want to show up on the red carpet by myself. That would be just…pathetic.”

“Perfect!” Johnny said. “I have the right man for you.”

“Seegers again?” I asked.

“Oh, I already told you about him?” Johnny questioned.

“Yep, yesterday.” I let out a sigh. “You might as well give him my number. I officially give you permission to set me up on a blind date.” Outwardly, I smiled. Inwardly, I was screaming. Erika, what are you thinking?