Life on the Naughty List, or What the Elf!

27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

A fter saying hello to a lot of people and even posing for a handful of selfies, I went back to my dressing room, grabbed my purse and coat, then headed out the side alley door. I wasn’t in the mood to get stopped by anyone else in the lobby who was still having a grand time. There would be no one out back, so I went with the best option. The downstairs office’s lights were out. Thankfully, the hallway lights had motion detectors, so I walked through the hallway, found my door, and exited into about a half inch of snow on the ground. Nothing much by New York standards, but since it was after midnight, no one was going to be coming along to shovel the sidewalks.

“Why am I wearing heels?” I asked myself as I regarded my heeled boots. Sure, they looked terrific, but they weren’t the most practical to trudge around the snow in. I made my way home slowly, watching each step to avoid a super-slick stretch of sidewalk or a patch of black ice.

When I crossed Broadway, the buzzing from my pocket let me know I’d received a text. I reached in and grabbed my phone.

Eugene : Sorry I missed the reception tonight. Jackie just delivered a healthy baby girl. She wanted to make sure I told you. See you tomorrow.

Erika: Tell her I said mazel tov!

I then scrolled through my other texts. There was a message from my parents letting me know the flight plans…again. I don’t know how often they’ve emailed or texted me their flight and hotel information. They were staying at the Marriott Marquis, which was a half block from the Mauer Theatre, so it was the perfect place. They had complete access to Times Square and were close to the theater. And they were far enough from my apartment that they wouldn’t drop by unannounced. At their age, which was on in their early sixties, they were more likely to take a cab than hoof it a few blocks in the snow. Which admittedly is strange since they live in Iowa. One would think they were used to dealing with snow.

The next text on my phone was from Johnny.

Johnny: Call me!!!

He wasn’t one to use emojis, so seeing a happy face let me know he had good news, so I hit the call button.

The phone had barely rung when he picked up. “Where are you? I’ve been looking everywhere for you?”

“We had the family and friends rehearsal tonight. Followed by a small reception. I had to show up, smile, and take a few pictures. Why?”

“I have news.”

“I could use some good news,” I said.

I must have sounded grumpier than I intended because Johnny was immediately like, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong…What’s your news?”

“I want to tell you in person. How long till you get home?”

“Ten minutes…max.”

“I’ll be there waiting for you.”

He hung up the phone, and I slipped the phone back into my coat pocket. I picked up my pace, but I still watched where I stepped. The last thing I wanted was to twist my ankle or break a leg the night before the show opened. Admittedly, that would be just my luck.

I got back to the Manhattan Plaza and waved at the night guard.

“Your show still opening tomorrow?” she asked.

I sadly couldn’t remember her name, but the guards were knowledgeable about the people in the building and all our projects. Heck, I found out more about what’s happening around New York by chatting up the guards than I do from reading Page Six in The Post some days.

“It is.”

“You excited?”

“That and a bit terrified.”

She chuckled. “Break a leg. My parents, cousins, and I are all coming to see it next week with the kids.”

“Great. I hope the kids enjoy the show. We like to think we have something for audience members of all ages.”

“My niece is a sophomore at LaGuardia High, so we try to see as many shows as possible.”

“LaGuardia, that’s the High School of Music 5.5 at the lowest.” I sipped from my champagne flute and followed it up with a swig of hot cocoa.

“What happened? I can tell when you’re stalling. And you are totally stalling.”

I let out an overly exaggerated sigh and told Johnny the story. “So, I’m meeting with Kirk tomorrow afternoon to ‘talk about things.’” I looked up at Johnny, and he reached out and grabbed my hand. “I’m worried I friend-zoned him too long.”

“Well, all you can do is put it out there and see what he says.” A tear was coming on, so I moved my other hand to wipe it away. “Oh no, girl! There will be no crying over men tonight. We’ve been through this. In the words of my grand pappy, two tears in the bucket, mother f—“

“Elf it?” I offered, and we both laughed.

Before long, Amani called Johnny to let him know he was off from work and was bringing him home a celebratory dessert he’d made at the restaurant. I walked Johnny to the front door and said goodnight before heading off to bed. Once Johnny was gone, Bootsy jumped up on the bed and made it clear that he was ready for both of us to be asleep.

I got up the next morning, showered, and dashed around Midtown to get my errands finished. I had to go back to the shop and pick up the dress I was wearing for the afterparty that evening. The designer wanted to do one more fitting. Once he was happy, he promised to have it at the theater before 7:00 p.m.

I then had lunch plans with Brice and my parents at Juniors across the street. I had taken my parents to Juniors for cheesecake after a show once, and they’d fallen in love with the place. Anytime they talked about coming to the city, getting Junior’s split pea soup was right at the top of the agenda. Since Juniors was right across the street from my parents’ hotel, I texted them I’d meet them there at eleven, then ensured Brice knew where we were meeting them.

I showed up at 10:59 and found my parents were already seated at a table with Brice…and my sisters.

“Surprise!” my sisters said in unison.

“No one told me you were coming,” I said, still shocked that my sisters had shown up for an opening. They’d never made it out to see me in a show here. They’d seen me back home, but they’d never seen me perform professionally. I looked at my mother. “This has your handwriting all over it.”

“Of course, it does, dear,” my mother said. “Your sisters were so sorry they never saw that last show before your little…accident.” And my mental breakdown , my mother was kind enough to not add.

“But I don’t have tickets for them tonight,” I spat out and dropped into my chair.

“Not to worry,” my mother said, patting me on the knee. “We already had everything taken care of.”

I thought about it for a second and turned my head to look at Brice. “You knew,” I said, squinting my eyes and making an overly dramatic angry face, “didn’t you?”

Brice laughed. “Of course, I did. Once I realized tickets would be hard to get through the new year, I called your mother and warned her. She then convinced your sisters to come out for a few days and fly back to be with their families late tomorrow night. They’ll miss most of Christmas Eve with their husbands and children, but they’ll be there for Christmas Day.”

“I can’t believe you pulled this off,” I admitted.

“What she’s not saying,” my father added, looking at Brice, “is that we tried to throw her a surprise birthday party two or three times, and she always figured it out weeks before it happened.”

“I was a slightly nosy child,” I said with a shrug.

The waiter came by and interrupted us as we all ordered. I had a small salad. My youngest sister, Teresa, listened to me and said, “That’s all you’re going to eat? Don’t you need something more…substantial to get you ready for a show?”

I smiled and explained that I didn’t like eating heavy on show days because it would drag me down. I then explained my basic diet, which was practically foreign to them. I’m not one of those granola cruncher types, but I don’t want to put anything in my body that would prevent me from performing at 110 percent.

“Oh, that’s right,” my older sister Kimber said. “You have reporters in the audience tonight.”

“Actually,” Brice interjected. “Most of the major theater critics have already seen the show. A couple may still be there tonight, but most are probably writing their stories right now or have them sitting on a hard drive waiting to print as soon as the show has officially opened. The days of the critics showing up for opening night, then running to The Times to write a story to make sure it made it into the morning edition, are days gone by.”

“Well, that takes some of the drama out of it,” Kimber said.

“Today, most people know everything going on with a show before a critic has even seen the show,” Brice admitted. “As your sister’s agent, I work with the show’s publicist to ensure Erica is seen in the best light possible.”

“Does this mean you already know the reviews?” my mom asked, clearly interested in the conversation.

“No,” Brice said flatly. “But I have a pretty good sense about how shows will be reviewed. Occasionally, a critic surprises me, but rarely.”

“So, what do you think they will write about Erica?” Teresa asked. Ahh, my little sister, she always enjoys any chance to stir up a little drama. I’m almost amazed she’s not the one who went into acting.

“Well, I’ll keep my opinions to myself, but I’ve seen the show, and it’s in good shape. Some of it depends on which critic writes the article. I know both critics from The Times have seen it, and those two have radically different tastes.”

“Okay, so let’s officially change topics,” I said. “It’s bad luck to talk about reviews before publication.” It wasn’t a true theater superstition, but it was one I made up on the spot.

“Oh, I know,” Teresa said with a mischievous glint in her eye. She got this look on her face that said, “I’m about to stir the pot.” She turned to look at me and asked, “Seeing anyone?”

“Teresa! You know better,” my mother chastised.

I blanched and stammered for a second. Without thinking, I said, “You’ll see my boyfriend tonight at the theater. He’s a schoolteacher and looks amazing in his tux.” As soon as the words had flown out of my mouth, I wished I could physically grab them and shove them back in. That little piece of news had gone over great with the family. Brice shot me a look that said, “What are you talking about?” And I sat there and smiled, thinking to myself, What the elf was I thinking?

As soon as lunch was over, I said I had errands to run and would see my family at the theater that night. I walked a couple of blocks with Brice. He never asked about the boyfriend issue, but I knew he wanted to. I didn’t have any errands to run. I wanted to go home, hide in my apartment and rest before that evening’s performance. And, of course, prepare myself mentally for the conversation I planned to have with Kirk.

I was running lines one last time when there was a knock at my door. I glanced at my watch and was surprised to see that it was already 3:00 p.m. I looked at Bootsy, who hadn’t stirred with the knock. I took my notebook and sat it on the coffee table next to the tea I was drinking. I reminded myself to breathe, stood, and walked to the door. I checked through the peephole to make sure it was Kirk.

I opened the door with a friendly, “Hey there.”

He tilted his head and furrowed his forehead before saying, “Hello.” His affect was flat.

I gestured for him to come inside. “Can I get you something? I made tea a bit ago, but I can make coffee, tea, hot cocoa…”

“I’m fine,” he said, lifting a water bottle he had in his right hand. I shut the door and followed him into the apartment. Instead of sitting on the couch, he sat down at the kitchen table in the same chair Johnny had been in last night.

Before joining him, I walked over to the coffee table, picked up my tea, brought it back into the kitchen area and sat down.

“What are we doing, Erika?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, a little taken aback by Kirk’s briskness.

“Sometimes, I think you like me. Then there are times when I feel that you’re completely unavailable. I want to know which one is right.”

“Okay, then,” I started. “First, for the record, Asher was drunk the other night, and I didn’t trust he’d get home on his own. We are not in any kind of relationship beyond a friendship. Sure, he’s my past, which is where I plan on keeping him. If you had asked me two months ago if I would ever be friends with Asher Alexander, I wouldn’t have said yes in a million years.”

“What changed?”

“He’s changed. He’s not the same man I dated three years ago.”

“So, you’re friends now?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that we’re friends. In all honesty, I don’t know what we are. I know what we aren’t. Before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend. And I won’t lie, I’ve missed my best friend. I found Jonny after Asher. Unlike Asher, Johnny knew who he was from the moment I met him, which was refreshing. Asher was a scared little gay boy who didn’t know how to come out. Johnny was out and proud.”

“Wait, so Asher’s full-on gay now?” Kirk asked.

“Yep. Took him a while to realize it, but he’s unambiguously gay now.”

“Oh…” Kirk said. By the look on his face, I could tell that he was reprocessing the scene from the other night with this new information. “Wow, from what I saw the other night, I thought…” he let the words hang in the air.

“It’s okay,” I said, reaching out one of my hands hesitantly to grasp one of Kirk’s. “You knew about my history with Asher, so seeing us like that…” I didn’t feel the need to finish the sentence. “If I hadn’t been so concerned with getting Asher to bed safely… I should have realized what it looked like.”

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. It’s like my father always used to say, ‘when you assume things, you make an ass out of you and me,’” Kirk said in a gruff voice.

“As for us,” I started. “I like you. It took me a while to realize that. And I won’t lie, I’m scared to death of dating a neighbor because good neighbors are so hard to find. I don’t want to ruin that.”

Kirk laughed. “I get it. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“You are full of wisdom today,” I said with a smile.

“Yet another of my father’s axioms of life…he had many.”

“I know it’s last minute, but I have a pair of tickets waiting for you at the box office tonight.” Kirk started to say something, but I waved him off, saying, “You don’t need to commit. And I don’t know what Carissra and your plans are. I know this close to Christmas…it’s entirely possible you already have a busy night ahead.”

“We’ll—“

“I’m freaked out enough about tonight,” I started. It took me a second to realize I’d interrupted him. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to cut you off. I’m a bit of a flake right now. And I don’t want you to feel the need to commit one way or the other. I’d be ecstatic if you were there, and I’ll completely understand if you have plans and can’t be there. If you can’t come tonight, I’ll be happy to get you tickets for any show.” I heard my cell phone go off playing the ringtone I use for my mother from across the room. “What now?” I groused. “Sorry, my family is in town. That’s my mother calling. Give me a second.” I stood and walked over to the charger next to the couch and lifted the phone. “Hey, Mom, now’s not a great—“

“Your sisters somehow made it out to Staten Island and do not know how to get back.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I let out a quick huff. “Give me a second.” I turned to Kirk and told him the situation. “I’m so sorry,” I told him.

“No worries. I totally get family.” He stood up from the table and came closer. “As for tonight—“

“They hopped on a train,” my mother said into my ear, “but they’re not sure where it’s taking them. No, wait. They’re on a bus now. Your father’s talking to them on his cell.” I could hear my father in the background. “Okay, I’ll tell her. The bus is supposed to take them to Penn Station where they can catch the Ronkonkoma…what kind of word is that?”

“That’s the Long Island Railroad!”

Kirk grimaced when he heard my side of the conversation. “I’ll let you deal with this. About tonight—“

“So, they want to take the railroad?” Mom asked.

“No!” I said emphatically. “When they get back to Penn Station, they’ll be in Manhattan. Have them go outside and get a cab back to the Marriott Marquis.”

Kirk smiled and mouthed, “Good luck,” as he motioned to the apartment’s front door.

I mouthed back, “thanks.” I was about to say something else when Mom cut me off again. Kirk left the apartment while I handled the crisis.

“How the heck did they end up on Staten Island?” I finally said. “It’s not like it’s that easy to absently end up there.”

“Don’t get all snippy with me. I’m not the one who needs a chaperone. I swear…I can’t take your sisters anywhere.”

I looked down at my watch and thought to myself, I don’t have time to deal with all this drama today .