Life on the Naughty List, or What the Elf!

30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

F irst Sunday in June

I sat in the chair in my dressing room as Carlos did his magic. We’d finished a matinee, and I had two hours before I had to be walking the red carpet at the Tony Awards. I opened an eye to see how things were progressing. I’d spent a lot of time staring at myself in a mirror, amazed by what Carlos could pull off. He had a way of taking this Iowa girl and making her look like a Broadway star, which I guess I was now.

“Calm down,” Gladys said, crocheting on the couch. In February, she’d taken up crocheting as a hobby during her downtime. Gladys’ hooks move quickly as yarn came together in a knot pattern while Carlos worked his magic on me. “I know you’re a bundle of nerves. But you’re fidgeting, which will make Carlos’ job harder.” I looked down at my right hand. I hadn’t even realized how twitchy I’d been. I took a deep breath and forced my hand to relax.

There was a knock on my door. Without waiting for someone to say, “come in,” Serafina poked her head into my dressing room. “I just got off the phone with the award show’s director. We’d hoped they’d reconsider, but your Tony Award category is immediately after our number. The director said you’ll have maybe ninety seconds, but probably more like eighty.”

“That’s longer than most of my quick-changes in the show,” I joked.

Carlos tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows while looking at me in the mirror. I didn’t need him to say anything to know what was running through his head at that moment. I looked at myself now and wondered how the team could take me out of my costume and get me looking like this again in a little over a minute.

“Don’t worry, Serafina,” Gladys said from her seat on the couch, “we’ll have her ready when they call her name.”

“If,” I said suddenly, “If they call my name.”

Sure, the pundits thought I was a shoo-in for the award. But never accept a Tony Award until your name is called. In all honesty, it was easier to tell myself repeatedly that it was not likely to happen. I was in the category with three other fantastic actors. As far as I was concerned, all of us deserved it. The nominees in my category had a private brunch last weekend to get to know one another. I’d seen some of them around the community, but I hadn’t had a chance to get to know them as people.

“I know you’re protecting your ego,” Gladys said, “but you’re going to win. I have a nose for these things.”

“Although I thank you for your confidence,” I said, “I don’t want to put the cart before the horse. The last thing I want is to assume I’m going to win, then be shocked on national television when I lose. If, and when, I hear my name, I’ll be surprised.”

“Okay,” Serafina said, clearly letting us know that this was a conversation she hadn’t planned on being in the middle of. “I need to check in with the rest of the cast. Your car will be here at six-thirty on the nose. Please make sure you’re at the backstage door. The pickup window to get you to Radio City is tight, so don’t be late.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” I said. Serafina shook her head and closed the door.

“Now, stop talking. I need to work on your lips,” Carlos instructed me. I did as commanded.

There was another knock on the door. “What now?” grumbled Carlos.

“Come in,” Gladys yelled since I followed Carlos’ instructions not to move my lips.

Kirk walked in wearing a tux. After returning the tux he’d worn to the opening party, I’d surprised him and bought him one of his own. He hated it when I bought him presents. I convinced him it was as much a present for me because I wanted him to be able to tux up at a moment’s notice.

“How’s the lady of the hour?” Kirk asked. With Carlos’ permission, he came in and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

“Good,” Carlos said, raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t mess up her makeup this time. You’re learning.”

“I had a skilled teacher. And I’ve been practicing as much as possible at home,” Kirk said to Carlos with a conspiratorial wink.

“Eww… I don’t want to hear about that,” Gladys piped up, “My poor ears. They’re innocent.”

“Whatever, Momma,” Carlos started. “You’re the dirtiest elf in this place.”

“And don’t you forget it.” Carlos and Gladys both cracked up at some inside joke. I shot Kirk a look through the mirror and shrugged.

A few minutes later, Carlos was finished with my hair and makeup. Gladys then helped me into my ink-blue dress embellished with sequins and crystals. It was an off-the-shoulder, floor-length evening dress. I had a maroon pair of Manolo Blahnik six-inch stiletto pumps. I had a small hand clutch with a few essentials that had been hand-dyed to match my pumps.

“Would you like to do the honors?” Gladys asked Kirk, gesturing to the zipper.

“I would love to,” he said, standing behind me. I could feel his breath on the lower part of my neck as he reached down and gently caressed my skin for a second before he grabbed the zipper and lifted it. The dress fit me like a glove, a very tight glove. A glove that would not allow me to eat, drink, or breathe for the next couple of hours. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I looked like every Disney princess fantasy I had growing up.

“You look…stunning,” Kirk said. “I am the luckiest man in New York City.”

“You’re the luckiest man in America,” Gladys said. “Now, go. Have fun. I’ll see you on stage.”

“On stage?” Kirk asked.

“Yep,” I said with a slight exhale. “My category is right after our musical number, so Carlos, Gladys, and a team of dressers will help get me out of my costume and back to looking like this.” I gestured to the complete outfit. “And they’ll do it all in less than sixty seconds.”

“How is that possible?” Kirk asked.

“The power of theater,” I said with a wink.

With that, I moved toward the door, and Kirk followed me. We wormed our way backstage, then down to the first level and out the back to find our limo waiting for us. The driver had the door opened when we exited the building, and we were whisked away to Radio City Music Hall. Then we waited in traffic. And waited a little longer. There was a spot for limos in front of the venue dropping off their cargo before walking the red carpet. When it was finally our turn, I turned to Kirk and said, “You ready for this?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for this, but I’m always ready to be there for you.”

The car stopped, and an usher opened the door and helped Kirk out, who then turned and helped me out of the limo. My dress had an immediate effect on the crowd gathered. The combination of professional and fan cameras turned in our direction and we immediately began hearing people yelling our names. Kirk and I would pose, letting the professional and amateur photographers take our pictures, before we moved down the red carpet a little farther and did it again. I’d coached Kirk on how to walk a red carpet so he wouldn’t be surprised by the many stops and starts as we walked.

We got inside Radio City, and an usher showed us to our seats. I had to sit on the aisle as a nominee and Kirk sat next to me. We stood in the aisle for a few minutes and talked with people in our general area.

“Ten minutes,” a voice over the theater intercom suddenly said, “Please, find your seats.” Immediately, an usher came running down the aisle to get everyone in the right seats.

The overture to the show started as a female announcer said, “Welcome to the Tony Awards. With special appearances by…” I tuned out the list of celebrities that would hand out awards. I squeezed Kirk’s hand and leaned over. “This is all surreal. I’ve always dreamed of making it to the Tony’s ever since I saw my first one on TV.”

“I’m glad I can share this special occasion with you. Just remember, take it in…take it all in. No matter what happens tonight, enjoy every second.”

I smiled as the host of the night came on stage singing and dancing. He performed a medley of songs that parodied previous Tony winners. The lyrics were inventive, but I wasn’t surprised. Eugene Moses and Tyreek MacQueen had been asked to write the opening number, and they have been working on it for six weeks. They’d run a few of the more cerebral lyric ideas past the cast to see if they made sense.

The show flew by. Before I knew it, I was ushered away from Kirk and rushed backstage to change into my costume. The company was performing a medley that ended with my high note in the eleven o’clock number. The Tony medley wouldn’t tell anyone anything about the show, but it would showcase enough of the show to drive up the box office on Monday. We’d been doing well with ticket sales, but not winning a Tony could lead to a summer slump, which could lead to the show closing. Like every show nominated, our performance at the Tony Awards was our one shot at getting butts in seats.

Gladys and Carlos made sure my costume, mic, and wig were put together before grabbing my evening wear and shoes and heading to their position off stage right, where I would meet them once the number was over. Only Gladys and Carlos had known that the dress they’d be putting me into was not the one I was already wearing. Not even Kirk had been told about the second ballgown I would wear after The Naughty List ‘s performance. Gladys, Carlos, and I had conspired to do something spectacular, in case my name was called. If I stepped back on that stage to accept my Tony Award, we wanted to shock and awe the audience.

“Are my elfin peeps ready for this?” Katherine said as we got to stage left for our entry.

“As I’m ever going to be,” I said. “How bout you, Peeter?”

“I could do this medley in my sleep,” he said, which caused all three of us to snicker since he’d tripped over the stage during our rehearsal.

“And we’re back from commercial in three, two…” a voice called over the intercom system.

“Please welcome, two-time Tony Award winner Maeve McKenna.”

What? My head spun to the backstage monitor since I couldn’t see that part of the stage from the wings. The camera panned to the other side of the stage where an older, elegant woman walked out in a long black dress that hugged her in all the right places. I hadn’t seen Maeve since the accident on stage, so how they managed to get her back to introduce the show was a surprise. In rehearsals earlier that day, we’d been told that some Hollywood starlet who was looking to make her Broadway debut in the fall would introduce the show.

“ The Naughty List is a brand-new American Musical based loosely on the 1940 movie Beyond Tomorrow . Three elves concoct a game to see if the people of New York City should be exiled to Santa’s naughty list…permanently. If you didn’t know, I was cast in the show and had to bow out because of a little…accident.“ There were laughs in the auditorium. Maeve’s accident was widely known in the theater community. “Here to perform a medley from the show are Tony nominees Caiden Wynter Jeanes, Tabatha Sharlene Thomson, Erika Lynsay Saunders, and the incomparable company of The Naughty List .”

The downbeat hit, and my feet moved. For the next three and a half minutes, we danced, we sang, and we delivered. By the time I belted my high note, I could tell the audience was eating out of our hands. I hoped the audience at home enjoyed the performance as much. As the song ended, there were three seconds before the director motioned for the cast to move off stage as two Hollywood actors—who had gotten their starts on Broadway—entered the other side.

“The featured actress in a musical…”

I didn’t have time to hear anything because I dashed off stage. The cast had been repeatedly told that I was to exit first, then they’d come off and go around the team of dressers and me.

Before I stopped walking, I discarded my shoes and my hands over my head. Two dressers removed the costume while Carlos made quick work of my wig, microphone and battery pack.

With the wig off, Carlos yanked the clips he’d used to pin my hair. He ran a brush through my natural hair as he styled it. “Lift your left foot,” someone said. I complied. “Lift your right foot.” I complied again. I didn’t know who’d asked me to do that, but I was back in high heels.

“Step in.” I glimpsed Gladys among the folds of fabric as she helped me into the gown. This dress was a green A-line V-neck floor-length silk dress with layers and layers of lace cut to look like tree branches. Around the middle was a red sash that highlighted my narrow waist, causing the bottom part of the dress to flare out like a Christmas tree with me as the angel sitting on top. Red crystal ornaments hung around the skirt, completing the festive look. On my head, Carlos placed a diamond-encrusted tiara with a single ruby that was on loan from a private collection. The tiara came with three security guards, who had watched Carlos take it from the case and place it on my head. He hadn’t told me the cost, but I’d looked it up online. I was only wearing a half-million dollars in jewels on my head. The other half-million was around my neck in a gorgeous diamond necklace with a five-carat ruby pendant.

“You’re ready,” I heard Gladys say. “You got this.”

I took three steps forward to the side of the stage and waited on the mark I was told to stand on.

“The nominees for Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Musical are. Julia Hardy, The Hallow Men .“ A polite round of applause was heard. “Carolyn Klimonski, Passion .“ More applause. “Winnie Matherson, Gamer’s Revenge .“ Applause. “And Erica Lynsay Saunders, The Naughty List .”

The television producers would display my headshot for the television audience. We weren’t sure how long the quick-change would take, so the producers had scrapped the idea of zooming in on me for a closeup backstage in case we weren’t ready yet.

“And the American Theatre Wing’s Tony Award goes to…”

It may sound cliché, but my entire career flashed before my eyes. I saw myself as a young girl performing in school plays, then high school musicals. Then I started performing in college, then in regional theater productions. As soon as I’d finished college, I got my first Equity tour and saw half the country belting an E6 nightly in Wicked . Then I took a leap of faith, quit the tour, and returned to New York. I thought of the opening night of The Faith Healer and everything that happened over the next three years. I remembered bumping into Kirk right outside my door as I rushed to an audition, and he moved in next door. That singular moment in time would define my life more than I ever could have predicted. I found the Broadway show that would change my life forever. And I found my passion again.

“…Erika Lynsay Saunders.”

I stood there. The cameraman waved his finger in my direction to let me know we were live. It took my brain a second to catch up. I’m sure it was only seconds, but I felt like I stood there for a day, lost in a haze of memories, as my brain finally registered my name.

My knees buckled slightly as my hand moved to cover my mouth. Tears started escaping. Somewhere from my left, I heard a stage manager yell, “Move!” My feet started walking before my brain could catch up.

I left the side curtain and walked toward the couple announcing the award. One held the envelope with my name, and the other held the Tony Award. The starlet gave me a quick hug and said congratulations. The guy hugged me too before I stood before Radio City Music Hall looking up and over the entire crowd.

“Wow, this place looks enormous from up here,” were the first words to come out of my mouth. The room erupted in laughter. “That was so not in my acceptance speech,” I followed up, which was greeted by more laughter. I paused and took in the entire theater. “I want to thank the American Theater Wing and the Tony voters… Wow, I just said that. It’s like I’m in a dream right now.” I looked over to where Kirk was standing on his feet still. Even from the stage, with the bright lights in my eyes, I could make out his beautiful face. “I love you, Kirk Brewster. And I love you Carissra, who is watching this at home. I want to thank my family. I love them, too. I want to thank my best friend, Johnny, who you saw earlier this evening in the number from Passion . I want to thank The Naughty List’s amazing cast and crew, who help me remember the joy of musical theater each and every night. I thank my agent, Brice Stark, for making me go on this audition when I wasn’t sure I wanted to.“ The orchestra started again, and I could tell that I was being told to wrap it up, so I just said, “I’m sure I’m missing people, and I’m sorry. I really am. I thank everyone I know and have ever known. All of you have helped me get to this place tonight. Without everyone, I would not be standing here today.” The music continued to swell as I loudly said, “Go out and do something to put yourself on The Naughty List !“ I hefted the Tony Award over my head as I was shuffled off stage left, and the next pair of presenters walked from the wings on stage right and started speaking.

The cast huddled backstage, waiting to greet me. I laid eyes on Gladys and burst into tears.

Katherine hugged me first. “I knew you’d win. I told ya, girl!”

Next, it was Peeter. “And to think, I didn’t even like you at first.”

Then Carlos and Gladys were there, and both were crying, making me cry more.

“I totally forgot to thank you,” I blurted out. “How did I forget to thank you?”

“Seeing you get that award was all the thanks I’d ever need,” Gladys said.

“I could have used a shout-out,” Carlos joked, “but you had other things on your mind.” He gave me a quick hug. “Now stop crying. I used waterproof makeup, but it can only live up to a minor flood.”

Then Asher hugged me, followed by a parade of Eugene, Tyreek, and Mable. I didn’t know where they’d come from. San Nicolás embraced me and said something in Spanish. I probably could have translated if my brain had been working properly, but I had no idea what he said. I then saw Rebekka Eldridge. She looked at me and said, “Good job. I was right. I hired the right woman.” I wanted to make a smart-alecky comment, but then I saw Kirk being escorted backstage.

I ran to him and threw my arms around him. He spun me around, my feet leaving the ground as we twirled, which wasn’t an easy feat because of my giant ballgown.

“I love you, Erika Saunders,” he whispered. “Or is that now Tony Award winner , Erika Saunders?“ He cracked a smile as he put me down.

Are the television cameras catching all this? I didn’t care. It would make great TV.

He kept holding my hand. He then dropped to one knee.

“Erika Lynsay Saunders, I know this may not be the best time, but I think it’s the right time.” I saw him produce a Tiffany blue box before he opened it. It was the exact dream engagement ring I’d told Johnny about a couple of years earlier. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I practically screamed. I couldn’t get the word out of my mouth fast enough.

Kirk slid the ring out of the box and onto my finger. I lifted him off the ground, brought his face toward mine and got lost in a momentary kiss. There was applause around us. Only then did I realize that Asher, Katherine, and Peeter were holding out their cell phones. I looked at the phones. My parents, sisters, Carissra, and Johnny watched the proposal as it was live-streamed.

I looked into Kirk’s beautiful brown eyes. “I love you. I love you so much. I can’t wait to be your wife.”

“I love you, too. I can’t wait to be Mr. Kirk Saunders or maybe Brewster-Saunders.”

I kissed him again.

Everything else faded around us. I held a Tony Award in one hand, an engagement ring on the other, and one-million-dollars in jewels that were eyed by three guards who looked very nervous about everything.

The End