Light My Fire

38. Jackson

CHAPTER 38

Jackson

“This place is awesome,” Wyatt says as we finish the tour of my new house in the kitchen.

Luke nods. “Seriously. Well done.”

They’ve both seen photos of the place as I was deciding between it and another property, but this is the first time they’ve seen it in person. I just got the keys and signed off on the final paperwork this afternoon.

I love it and I’m pleased that my friends feel the same way. It’s an enormous modern farmhouse, sitting on multiple acres, which makes it the perfect place for the four of us to live and to also build the dog training program.

I am fortunate that five of my six dogs are still tiny and not moving much. It won’t be long before they need a lot more space, and this place will be perfect.

“I’ll let you guys decide who gets which of the other rooms, but I am obviously taking the big one with the Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom,” I tell them, leaning back against the countertop and grinning

Luke and Wyatt share a look, then look at me with frowns. “Rooms for what?” Wyatt asks.

“Which room you’ll take for your bedroom and which one Luke wants.” The house has six bedrooms, so I’m not worried. Everyone will be able to have a space they love. “I’m even throwing in money for redecoration. Whatever you want. You can pick out the furniture, but I’m paying.”

I actually can’t remember feeling this good about my money since I bought my parents their house.

Elaborate trips, living in luxury, and not worrying about the future are all great, of course, but I’m never happier than when I’m spending my money on the people I care about. And this house is huge for that. Buying my parents’ place felt amazing, but buying a place for me, Wyatt, Luke, and Brooke, is incredible. Contributing to the growth of our relationship like this gives me a satisfaction that is shocking in its intensity.

“Why would I have a bedroom at your house?” Wyatt asks.

I cross my arms and grin. “Okay, I realize that we’re probably going to want to be in the same bed with Brooke a lot, but it just seems like each of us having our own space too will be a good idea.”

Now Luke also crosses his arms. “Jackson,” he says. “Are you thinking we’re all going to be living here together?”

Wyatt looks from Luke to me, eyebrows nearly to his hairline. “Wait, what?”

Now I’m the one who frowns. “Why not? This house is huge. And we all want to be together, right?”

“But you’re talking about maybe, eventually ,” Luke says. “Like a year from now or something, right?”

“Why would we wait a year?” I ask. “Brooke lives in a studio . And we hardly get to see her as it is. I haven’t even seen you guys much lately. Why not move in together? It would make her life a lot easier. And I know I want to see her every day. And I can definitely put up with the two of you.” My grin fades as I study their faces. I narrow my eyes. “Unless we are not on the same page here.”

Luke shakes his head. “We haven’t talked about any of this.”

Wyatt’s scowling. “Of course, I want to see her more often. Have you talked to her about this? Without us?”

“No. Not specifically,” I say. “But you all knew I was buying this gigantic house. You’ve all been excited about it.”

“For you ,” Luke says. “We’ve been excited about it for you. It’s a big step. You need the space for the dogs and the new program.”

“What the fuck did you think I was going to do with six bedrooms?”

Luke lifts one broad shoulder. “Use them for offices. Have trainers stay over. Fuck if I know, man. I didn’t know you had one picked out for me though.”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t. You have five you can choose from.”

Just then, I hear a soft voice call, “Hello? Jackson?”

My heart thumps. Brooke is here.

“You invited Brooke? Why didn’t you tell us she was coming?” Wyatt asks, straightening.

I shake my head and push off the counter, starting toward the front door. “I didn’t know. I thought she was coming over tomorrow.”

I meet her halfway down the front hallway. “Hey, sweetheart,” I greet. I open my arms and am relieved when she steps into them.

After our phone call this afternoon about the bomb, I felt a strange tension in my gut. She was understandably shaken by the idea that Luke and Wyatt were on site with the bomb. I guess the guys haven’t talked through what to expect when being close to a firefighter with her yet. I’ve had to learn it over the years, but I know Wyatt has had to coach at least one girlfriend through not jumping to the worst-case scenario when there are things on the news.

“I know I said I’d stop by tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind,” she says.

“Of course not. You’re always welcome wherever I am,” I tell her. “Is everything okay?”

She pulls back out of my arms and takes a breath. “It’s just been a long week. And…” She hesitates and looks down the hall past me. “I just need to see them. I’ve been thinking about them all day and I know I need to be tough and not let this rattle me, but I just need to put my arms around them.”

“Completely understandable,” I assure her. “They are going to be very happy to have your arms around them.”

And maybe actually having their eyes and hands on her will convince them that all of us living under the same roof is a great idea.

I take her hand and lead her to the kitchen.

Without a word, she goes to Luke, who’s closest, and steps into his arms. He hugs her close, kissing the top of her head. After a few moments, he leans back and tips her head up with a finger under her chin.

Luke says simply, “I’m okay, Angel.”

She smiles at him. “I’m glad. I’ve missed you.”

He kisses her, then turns her and nudges her toward Wyatt.

Wyatt pulls her into his arms, wrapping her tight. “I’m okay, too.”

She gives him an extra squeeze, then tips her head back. He lowers his head, kissing her softly.

“I’ve missed you all so much,” she says. She steps back from Wyatt, but he keeps his arm around her shoulders. She looks at all of us. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around a lot this week.”

“We understand,” Luke tells her.

She takes a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“I have an idea that could help,” I say.

Wyatt sighs. Luke frowns. Still I say, “Why don’t you move in here? I obviously have plenty of room and then we could all see each other all the time.”

Brooke stares at me. “You’re asking me to move in with you?”

“Yes. All of you. The three of you. I think the four of us should live together.”

She moves out from under Wyatt’s arm and looks from me to Wyatt to Luke. “You’ve talked about this?”

Luke shakes his head. “Jackson just mentioned it to us right before you got here.”

She studies him. “And what do you think?”

I brace myself. I can’t put my finger on why exactly but suddenly there’s tension in the room.

“I think it’s fast,” he says.

Brooke crosses her arms. “Because if it was just you and me dating, moving in together, wouldn’t even occur to you this soon, right?”

Luke nods. “Right.”

“But it’s not just the two of you dating,” I say. I don’t feel like it’s butting in. This involves all of us. She’s my girlfriend, for fuck’s sake, and Luke is the other man she’s dating. Well, one of them. This involves all of us. “Hell Luke, if it was just you, you never would’ve dated her in the first place.” I scowl at him. “You wouldn’t have even touched her if we hadn’t been there, showing you how sweet, fun, sexy, and amazing she is. You probably would’ve successfully kept your distance, right?”

Brooke tightens her arms against her stomach.

I move closer to her. “Sweetheart—” I start.

But she shakes her head. “No. If that’s true, I want to hear it. Were you tempted by me only because of what was happening with me and Wyatt and Jackson?” she asks Luke.

Luke scrubs a hand over his face. “No. I wanted you, Angel.”

“But you would have kept your distance?”

He sighs. “Maybe. It probably would have been easier if I didn’t know what was happening with you and these guys. If I didn’t see how you were opening up and coming alive.”

She swallows. “And after the cabin, you would’ve left me alone,” she says. It’s not a question.

“I would have thought that was best,” he admits.

She turns to Wyatt. “What do you think about us all living together?”

Wyatt looks like he’s in pain. “I don’t know.”

She takes a step closer to him. “Be honest. You do know.”

“Okay, it seems really serious. Pretty… permanent.”

“And you’re not ready for that? For this to be serious?”

“I am ready to be serious. You and me,” he says, stepping closer to her. “But this idea of the four of us being serious is new to me.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “It’s been the four of us doing this together from the very beginning.”

Wyatt tightens his jaw, then says, “What do you want me to say here?”

“I want you to say the truth ,” she tells him.

“Fine, here’s the truth. I would’ve asked you to move in with me the second we got back to Chicago. I fell hard and fast. I’m crazy about you. And I do consider this serious and I would love to make it long-term. But when I say that, I’m thinking about you and me. The idea of the four of us together is gonna take me a little time to wrap my head around.”

He takes a breath. “I thought this was in the short term. For fun. Kind of a sex thing. I know that you like them both. I know they both like you. I know the feelings are deeper than I initially expected. But I guess I thought maybe it would run its course.”

He meets my gaze. “I don’t mean to hurt you. You’re my best friend. I just didn’t think that you were in the right place for a serious committed relationship.”

I don’t know how to respond to that. It pisses me off. But also he’s not completely wrong. Until I met Brooke and started thinking about the dogs, I wasn’t in a place to make a committed relationship work. I can’t argue with that except to say that Brooke changed everything.

I’m not sure Wyatt wants to hear that right now.

Wyatt looks at Luke. “And I fully expected you to push her away at the first chance. You’ve got your emotional walls built up so high I’m sometimes amazed I’m even allowed behind them. Everything you told her is true. You never would’ve let her close if it wasn’t for me and Jackson.

“And I know you. Here in a little bit you’re going to start thinking about the fact that she was worried about you today. That’s going to bother you. You don’t want people to care about you. I’m allowed because I can be there to actually do something about it. But you hate the idea that Brooke might be sitting at her clinic, watching TV, worried about you. The emotional involvement is something you didn’t ask for.”

Wyatt takes another deep breath, then looks back to Brooke. “So, I’m sorry, but the idea of us all moving in together, playing house, acting like… I don’t know, a couple times four? Like your brother and his people? No, that didn’t occur to me.”

The kitchen is completely quiet for thirty seconds. Then Brooke says, “This is all really good to know.” She turns and walks to the hallway, turning back and addressing us. “I have never had a serious committed relationship with a guy. Not one. And now there are three of you. And frankly, you’re overwhelming. I can’t even keep up with texting you and working at the same time. And here we are talking about how we have to dig through all our emotions, and define what’s going on, and potentially start a poly relationship that clearly Jackson is the only one who’s really thought about. And he’s the one who supposedly takes things the least serious of all of us.” She shoots me a glance. “And I don’t mean that in a bad way. I love how laid back and fun you are.”

Jesus, I have no idea how to think or feel about anything any of them are saying at this point.

Brooke goes on before anyone can respond. “If I can’t even keep up with texts, I don’t see how I can possibly think about managing living with all three of you, even if you all wanted that. I have to do well at this internship. It’s everything I have been working for. It is my future. So… I think we need to take a break.”

She stops, letting that hang in the air between all of us. She opens her mouth, then shuts it again. Then shakes her head. “Yeah. I guess that’s it. I think we need to take a break. I can not come between the three of you. You’re best friends. You two have to work together,” she says, looking at Wyatt and Luke. “You two have been friends since you were kids,” she says, looking at me and then Wyatt. “I can’t mess that up. Especially when none of us are really sure about this. So I’m going to go. And I’m not going to come back tomorrow.”

She turns and starts down the hallway but stops again and turns back. “And I really, really need you guys to stop texting me.”

When she starts down the hall this time, she doesn’t stop.

The kitchen is so quiet that we easily hear the front door open and then shut.

It’s several more seconds after that before Luke says, “Well, fuck.”

Wyatt shoves his hand through his hair. “ Fuck .”

I really have nothing better to add so I just nod and mutter, “Fuck.”