Lion’s Bride

Chapter Nine

WARE WAS FROWNING, his brow furrowed in a fierce scowl.

Something had displeased him, Thea realized without concern. On a day this beautiful it would have taken more than a frown to destroy her contentment. She sat back on her heels and watched him as he strode toward her across the green. She enjoyed seeing him move, she thought idly, enjoyed seeing the flex of corded muscle, the grace that came from superb physical fitness and a lifetime of training.

“You left me while I was sleeping,” Ware said. “I woke and you weren’t there.”

“I haven’t left your chamber in four days.” She smiled up at him as she watered the trunk of the mulberry tree. “The trees needed tending. Isn’t it a fine morning?”

“I suppose.”

“You suppose? The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and the trees are growing very well in spite of my neglect. Jasmine must have been taking care of them.”

“I missed…you. I was worried.”

“That wasn’t reasonable. What could happen to me here at Dundragon?”

“I was worried. I never said I was reasonable. I don’t have to be reasonable.”

“How arrogant of you.”

“I never said I wasn’t arrogant either.” He watched her for a moment. “Don’t go away again without telling me.”

“I won’t be with you every minute of the day. Am I to go in search of you to tell you every time I move from room to room?”

“Yes.”

She threw back her head and laughed. “You cannot be serious.” She stopped as she saw his expression. “Are you?”

“You frightened me.”

“For nothing. I’ll not be bound by your foolish fancies.”

He said nothing for a moment, and then a forced smile touched his lips. “You’re right, of course. I’m not accustomed to worrying about others. My response was…exaggerated.”

She snorted with derision. “You do nothing but worry about everyone at Dundragon and beyond.”

“Not like this.” He pulled her to her feet. “And it was not only worry but fear.” He whispered, “Do you know what happens to me when I’m frightened?”

“You become surly and unreasonable.”

“No.” He drew her closer, holding her against him. “I become hard and heavy as a bull.”

The evidence of that arousal was pressed against her and was igniting a response in her. Bull, indeed. She tried to make her tone light to mask her breathlessness. “Then you must have been in terror for the past four days. One wonders what you did when you were in the midst of battle. Surely it must have been most uncomfortable for you when mounted to feel such—” She broke off as his hand pressed against her womanhood and then began rubbing slowly back and forth. “That is…not—” She had to stop as a ripple of heat shuddered through her. She tried again. “Stop.”

“Why?” His other hand fumbled at the closure of her gown, and the next moment he pushed the bodice off her shoulders and around her waist.

The sun was warm on her naked breasts, the breeze touched her nipples in a teasing caress. She could feel them swell, harden. What had he asked? “We can be seen from the castle.”

“I don’t care,” he muttered. Still, he pushed her a few steps deeper into the grove. “Better?”

“No.” The stand of trees was too sparse to hide them. “We could go back to your chamber.”

“Too far.” He pressed her back against an oak tree and lifted the skirt of her gown. “I wouldn’t get farther than the stairs.”

She wasn’t sure she would either. The feel of his chest against her bare breasts was causing her heart to beat painfully hard. “We…could try.”

He adjusted his tunic. “Now.” He cupped her buttocks in his hands and lifted her.

He plunged deep.

She cried out and clutched at his shoulders. She could feel the hard bark against her back and his hardness within her. Her legs curled around his hips, holding him as he bucked and drove.

“Ware, it’s…” She trailed off as she felt the tension mount. He was savage and rough, and she would not have him any other way. It had never been this wild before. He was like an animal and made her feel like an animal.

“Come…to me,” he muttered. His hips lifted and fell with deep force. “I need it. I need you.”

His need vibrated between them, so intense she could feel his pain. “It’s all right. You don’t have to wait….”

“Yes, I do.” He reached between them and pressed and rotated. “Come.”

She was panting and tears stung her eyes as she tried to give him what he wanted. Her hips moved forward but she could do little but take. So she took and took and took again.

When the climax came, she felt as if she were flying apart. An instant later she felt him flex within her as he uttered a low groan.

His head sank against hers and he stayed there, chest heaving, shuddering as he tried to regain control. “I think…it was much easier when I thought only of my own pleasure. This…may kill me.”

She was too breathless to speak. She could only hold him and wait until strength returned.

He eased her to the ground and lay down beside her. He said nothing for a long time. “You’re right. It’s a very fine morning.”

She chuckled. “I’m happy you finally noticed.”

He unbound her braid and loosened her hair. “I was thinking of other things.”

“Yes, you were.”

He covered his lips with her hair. “I tried not to spend within you,” he whispered. “Each time I swear I’ll not give you my seed, and then I cannot—Forgive me.”

“It’s a little late for restraint,” she said. “When I came to you, I told you that I was prepared to let God decide the matter. I knew what you wanted of me.”

“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want a child. Not if it means—You must help me. Make me leave your body before it’s too late.”

He had not changed his mind. He talked no more about a child, but at times, in his sleep, he would reach out and yearningly rub her belly as if she already held the prize he wanted within her. “Let God decide.”

He shook his head. “God sometimes seems unconcerned with our troubles. You must help me.”

“The decision may already be out of our hands. I may already be with child. We will talk of this again after I have my flux. Now, be silent and let me enjoy the sunshine.”

She supposed she should make some attempt to cover herself, but she felt wonderfully languid and didn’t want to move. The day was bright, their surroundings beautiful and peaceful, and she felt no shame in what they had just done. It had been as natural and beautiful as the sky overhead.

Perhaps too beautiful. No, she would not worry and take this lovely moment apart. She would accept and enjoy as long as it lasted.

As long as it lasted. Her gaze drifted toward the mountain where the man dwelt who might well put an end to this contentment. “Who is Vaden?”

At first she thought he was not going to answer her. “You know who he is. He’s the man who wants to kill me.” He paused. “And you.”

“But he didn’t kill us when he had the opportunity.”

“It was not the time. He has no desire to die himself.”

“Vaden of where? Where does he come from?”

He turned on his side to look at her. “Why are you so curious about Vaden?”

Because she sensed a bond between the two men that she could not comprehend. Even though this Vaden was a threat, Ware would not condemn him. “Surely, it’s understandable I’d want to know everything I could about a man you say may kill me.”

“Only if he could see no other way out,” he said quickly.

There it was again. He was defending Vaden. “Was he your friend?”

He gazed out at the mountains. “Closer than friends, he was my brother at the Temple.”

“Then why didn’t he help you escape?”

“He was away on a mission in Italy.”

“Would he have helped you?”

“I don’t know. I never knew what Vaden would do. Perhaps. He’s always torn between impulse and calculation. He’s a complicated man.”

Incredibly, there was no derision in his tone. “Loyalty isn’t complicated. It’s very simple.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t understand friends who try to butcher you.”

“There are higher loyalties. The Order was everything to Vaden. I used to joke with him about it.”

“Did it anger him?”

He shook his head. “But he believed in the Order. He needed it.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. Perhaps because he had no other roots. I think he’s illegitimate.”

“You don’t know?”

“He didn’t talk about it.” He brushed his lips on her shoulder. “And after he was accepted in the Order, the Grand Master forbade anyone to ask him. He was just Vaden from nowhere.”

“Strange.”

“Yes, particularly since two of the qualifications for entry into the Order are legitimacy and knighthood. I don’t think Vaden was either.”

“It makes no sense. Then why was he accepted?”

He shrugged. “I have no idea. He was a great warrior. Perhaps they wanted his sword.”

“Weren’t you curious? And don’t tell me curiosity was forbidden. I wouldn’t think you’d cavil at disobeying the order about asking him questions.”

“We all had our reasons for being there. It would have been an intrusion to ask him.”

She did not understand such reasoning. “If he was your friend, then knowing why he was there might have been a way of helping him.”

He shook his head and his expression became shuttered. “To share some secrets is to do irreparable damage.”

He was no longer speaking of Vaden but what he had seen in the Temple. “No secret is worth what happened at Jedha.”

“The Temple thought it was.”

“What do you think?”

He bent his head and blew in her ear. “I think you have divine breasts and the most beautiful hair that I’ve ever seen. When we were playing chess, I used to watch it shine in the firelight and wonder how it would feel against me. I wanted to wrap it around my body and drown in you.”

He was avoiding the question and trying to distract her. “What do you think?” she repeated.

“No.” He buried his head in her shoulder. “God, no.” His voice was muffled. “Sometimes I feel as if I’m choking on their secrets. When I first discovered what was in the caves, I was racked with guilt and then anger. They were my brothers, my family. Why couldn’t they trust me? I would never reveal—” He lifted his head, and she was shocked at the torment in his expression. “I’m no fool. I knew what telling others would mean. Why wouldn’t they trust me?”

He may have felt anger, but it was overshadowed by hurt and desolation. He had lost one family and then found another in the Templars. He had given them unbounded loyalty only to be cast out once again. “Because they’re blind fools.” She drew him close and held him in a fierce embrace. “And you should think no more about them.”

He was silent a moment and then he chuckled. “I shall do my utmost, but under the circumstances it’s difficult not to give them thought.” He sat up and pulled her bodice up over her breasts. “But I assure you that they’re never in my mind when I’m in your body. Let’s go to my chamber. We will bathe and then banish thought for the rest of the day.”

“ Now you wish to go to your chamber.” She slipped her arms into the sleeves of the gown, then tried to straighten her hair. No need to rebraid it yet; the first thing Ware always did when they were alone was loosen it. It made no difference if she appeared tousled; everyone in the castle must know she was coupling with Ware anyway, since these last days they had seldom left his bed except to bathe and eat. She was not concerned about anyone’s reaction except for Jasmine. Tasza no longer needed the security offered by being Ware’s leman, but Jasmine was fiercely protective of her daughter and might regard Thea as a threat. Well, she would worry about Jasmine’s response later. She was too full of joy and contentment now.

“And I would not need a bath so desperately if you hadn’t chosen to wallow with me in the dirt,” she told Ware. But he would probably have ordered a bath anyway. She had discovered that Ware was nearly fanatic regarding his personal cleanliness.

It must be the sheepskin drawers.

The words popped into her head. She had almost forgotten Kadar’s teasing comment the first night she had arrived at Dundragon. “Sheepskin drawers.”

“What?”

“Kadar said the reason you were so devoted to cleanliness was the sheepskin drawers. What did he mean?”

Ware made a face. “In order to encourage chastity all Knights Templar are required to wear two sets of sheepskin drawers and never take them off.”

“Not even when they bathe?”

“We were not permitted to bathe either.”

She blinked. “Well, that would certainly encourage chastity. No wonder you became close to your brother monks. I cannot imagine anyone else wanting to be within a yard of such stench.”

“We became accustomed to it.” He frowned. “I don’t feel like talking any longer. Will you come?”

“Perhaps I don’t wish to go to bed. I have more tending here to do.”

“I have more need of tending than your trees.” He took her hand and brought it to him. “Don’t I?”

She inhaled sharply as she felt the unyielding hardness. Soon it would be inside her again. His lips would be on her breast, and he would be plunging wildly in and out. A ripple of heat seared through her as she realized she was ready for him again. “You’re a very lustful man, Ware of Dundragon. Do you never get enough?”

“No,” he said thickly. “Not with you. The minute you’re out of my sight, I want you again.” He stood up and reached down to pull her to her feet. “You will come with me?”

This delirium should end. She had not imagined that the mere act of coupling could bring the kind of fever that could never be satisfied. She wanted to touch him, caress him, even when they were across the room from each other. She found herself watching his expressions, waiting for the moment when he would reach out for her. She had called him lustful, but she herself was as filled with lust.

His big hand was holding hers tightly, possessively, as his thumb stroked her wrist. “Will you come?”

It was happening again, the liquid flowing, the tension, the breathless heat.

She nodded jerkily. “I’ll come.” She started across the green. She whispered, “Hurry.”

“My lord, I regret to disturb you, but riders approach.” Abdul kept his gaze fixed on a point somewhere on the wall above the bed.

Thea’s heart leaped in panic as she scrambled upright in bed. Riders. The Templars?

Ware was already out of bed and donning his tunic. “How many riders?”

“Two men.” With relief Abdul fixed his gaze on Ware. “We believe there are only two. But it’s night and there could be others farther down the road.”

“Dress.” Ware tossed over his shoulder to Thea, “Hurry.” He strode out of the chamber.

Thea wasted no time. Within a few minutes she was dressed and running out into the courtyard.

They were lowering the drawbridge, she saw with relief. Surely they would not do that if it was a foe.

It was Kadar.

Her gaze flew to the small figure on the horse behind him.

Selene. Dressed in a young Arab boy’s tunic, robe, and cloak, it was still undeniably, blessedly, Selene.

“Thea!” Selene slipped from the saddle and ran toward her. The turban slipped from her head and her red hair tumbled down her back, reminding Thea of that moment when they had said good-bye at the gates of Constantinople. “I’m here.”

“I see you are.” She hugged her tightly. Selene. Free. Safe. Here with her at last. “I see…you are.”

“Stop crying.” Selene pulled back and stared at her with sternness. “I won’t have it. Why are you being so foolish? Everything is fine now.”

“I know.” Thea wiped the tears from her cheeks. “See, I’ve stopped.” She hugged her again and released her. “How are you?”

“Better than me,” Kadar said as he dismounted. “Your sister is a very willful creature.”

“I’m well,” Selene said, ignoring him. “Why should I not be?”

“They didn’t find out you’d helped me?”

“Of course not.” She looked down at her cloak and dusted off a speck of dirt. “It’s like you to fret over nothing. I was not the one in danger’s path. But I also worried about you.” She gazed at Thea searchingly. “I see I had no need. There’s a…bloom about you.”

“Why were you so long?” Ware asked Kadar. “Did you have problems with Nicholas?”

“No more than I expected,” Kadar said. “But then, after the barter was struck, Selene decided she would not be bought and ran away. It took me three weeks to find her in that vast city.”

“It was your fault entirely,” Selene said. “If you’d told me of Thea’s plan, we would have been here long ago.”

“I intended telling you after I took you from Nicholas’s house. It wasn’t safe to do so until then.” He added teasingly, “I couldn’t be sure that you could keep the secret.”

“Am I an idiot that I’d reveal a secret that would bring me my freedom?”

“Not an idiot, but you are a child.” Kadar grimaced. “At least I thought you were. I should have heeded Thea’s warning.” He held up his hand as she opened her lips to speak. “Very well, it wasn’t your youth that kept me from telling you, but that dragon that listened in on every word I spoke.”

“She was alone on the streets of Constantinople for three weeks?” Thea asked, horrified. “Anything could have happened to her.”

“Perhaps you don’t know her any more than I did,” Kadar said. “When I found her, she was living in the bazaar with a family of bedouins, learning how to make camel bells. In another month’s time she would have been ordering them about as she has me during this excruciating journey.”

In spite of his mocking tone Thea could discern an odd note of possessive pride in Kadar’s voice.

“Don’t be foolish,” Selene said. “It would have taken me at least six months. The woman was reasonable but the old man was stubborn.” She turned back to Thea. “And then after Kadar finally told me it was you who had sent him, I had to send him back to Nicholas to get the silk.”

“Silk?” Ware asked.

Selene studied him. “You must be Lord Ware. Kadar told me about you.”

“I’m sure he did,” Ware said dryly. “What silk?”

“Well, since Kadar clearly had money enough to buy me, I thought he must have some left over. He actually handled the negotiations quite cleverly.”

Kadar bowed slightly. “Thank you.”

Selene waved an impatient hand. “But he was going to leave without buying silk, Thea. We won’t be able to make our own cloth for some time, and Nicholas’s is the best-woven silk in the world. I thought if you could embroider the silk and we could sell it, the profits would help us to open our house.”

“By the saints,” Thea whispered, excitement growing by the minute. She had not thought past rescuing Selene. “How many bolts?”

“Twelve,” Kadar said. “She beggared me.”

“Since it was my money, I’d say she beggared me, ” Ware corrected.

Thea scarcely heard them. Twelve bolts. She couldn’t believe it. “I’ll return the money he spent. My embroideries bring a fine price. Far more than the silk itself.”

“Kadar arranged to have a wagon bring the other bolts next week, but I brought with me a length of white silk,” Selene said. “We cannot start too soon.”

“No.” Thea could hardly wait to begin. She had not realized how much she had missed her work. “Tomorrow. As soon as the light is good.”

Kadar chuckled, his gaze on Selene’s intent face. “Now that you’ve arranged things to suit yourself, may I suggest you retire for the night? I’d wager you’re going to be as sore tomorrow as you were this morning.”

“I wasn’t sore. Well, perhaps a little. He wanted to put me on a mule, Thea.”

“As is fitting for women and children,” Kadar said. “The latter which you are, the former which you will become.”

“I’m sure men put women on mules only so they can look down upon them from their horses.” She yawned. “But I am weary. It was a long journey from Acre.”

“Come along.” Thea slipped her arm about Selene’s waist and urged her toward the steps. “You can sleep with me in my chamber tonight. Tomorrow we will find you your own place.”

“My own place.” Selene looked up at the vast castle, and for a moment her boldness faltered. “It’s very different from Nicholas’s house, isn’t it?”

Kadar answered from behind them, “As different as the bazaar where I found you. You must promise not to change quite everything to suit yourself. Ware would be most upset.”

Selene’s moment of uncertainty immediately disappeared. “Thea and I won’t be here long enough to make changes worthwhile.”

Clever Kadar, Thea thought. He had eased Selene away from that moment of fear without damaging her pride by expressing sympathy. He must have got to know Selene very well on their journey from Constantinople.

Selene stopped suddenly on the top step and turned to face Ware. “I thank you for caring for my sister, Lord Ware.”

Thea smiled at the child’s solemn formality. It was almost as if Selene were the elder. She had changed since Thea had left her. She seemed freer, bolder. It was clear that surviving life on the streets had given her both more confidence and more knowledge.

Ware did not smile. He nodded with equal gravity.

“And I thank you for sending Kadar to fetch me. We owe you a great debt.”

“Then I shall certainly collect,” Ware said. “But in the meantime, welcome to Dundragon.”

Selene turned and went into the castle.

Thea started to follow her.

“Thea,” Ware said.

She stopped at his call. She had been so happy at Selene’s arrival, she had not realized this would be the first time she would sleep apart from Ware since they had come together. Would he let her go? She looked at him. His expression was impassive, but she knew he was trying to tell her something.

She moistened her lips. “Everything is different now.” Their time of halcyon intimacy was over; it was time to get on with life. She supposed she had known Selene’s arrival would signal the end of her stay at Dundragon, but she had not let herself realize it until she put it in words.

He held her gaze for another moment before saying, “Yes, it is. Sleep well, Thea.”

“Good night,” she muttered, and fled into the castle.

“They’re very much alike,” Ware said as he watched Thea follow her sister into the castle. Selene had come, a new door had opened, and Thea had eagerly walked through it. Christ, he was hurting. “She’s like Thea.”

Kadar shook her head. “Selene is like no one on this earth. She’s half sage, half imp, and all determination. Trying to keep her under control has been an interesting experience. She has a good heart, but she fights hard to make sure no one sees it. Thea is much softer.”

Yet Thea had struggled to give him neither trust nor affection, Ware thought. Even when she had decided she must allow him to come close, she had been defiant. He remembered the night she had come to him and told him he was her friend whether or not it pleased him. “You’re wrong. They are alike.”

Kadar turned to look at him. “You seem very certain. You’ve come to know Thea?”

“How could I help it?” Ware said dryly. “You gave me into her charge.”

Kadar smiled. “But one never knows how such forays will succeed.”

Ware changed the subject. “What news in Acre?”

“Nothing of import. Minor skirmishes between Saladin and the Franks. Has there been trouble here?”

“Yes, Vaden came.” He started up the steps. “I don’t know how long it will be safe for Thea to remain here. I thought—but everything has changed. We might have to find them a haven.”

“Damascus? That’s where she wants to go. A city held by Saladin would be safer for her than one held by Christians.”

Ware looked over his shoulder at the third mountain. “No, not Damascus.”

“Are you hungry? Have you supped?” Thea asked as she led Selene through the hall toward the staircase.

“Yes, I was so excited I wanted to go on, but Kadar insisted we stop at sundown to eat.” She frowned. “He’s very stubborn.”

And Selene was not? Thea smothered a smile as she thought of the battles that must have occurred between them on the journey. “But very kind.”

“When he wishes to be,” Selene acceded grudgingly. “But he is like Lord Ware. There’s a darkness about him.”

“You’ve just met Lord Ware. You cannot know his character.”

Selene shrugged. “One would have to be blind not to see the darkness. Kadar’s darkness is not as evident, but it may be deeper because it lies hidden.” She changed the subject. “Kadar was very careful after we reached Acre. Is there something to fear here?”

“He did not tell you?”

“He said you would tell me.” She grimaced. “I think he did not wish me to worry on the journey. As if not knowing of danger would keep me from worrying. Kadar is more clever than most, but he sometimes still thinks like a man.”

“A grievous fault,” Thea agreed. “You admit he’s clever, then?”

“I hid myself very well in the bazaar and he still found me. He stalked me, set a trap, and then he caught me.” There was a hint in Selene’s voice of the same pride Thea had heard in Kadar’s. “Yes, Kadar is clever.” She scowled. “Even if he always does wish his own way.”

“Well, you need not be bothered with him any longer now that you’ve reached Dundragon.” She started up the stairs. “And we shall be leaving soon.”

“Well, actually, he’s not bad company when he’s not ordering me about,” Selene admitted as she followed her. “And he promised to show me his falcons. Are they very beautiful?”

“Yes, though I’ve never seen them in flight.”

“Then how can you judge? I would have made him—”

“I had other things on my mind,” Thea interrupted. “And Kadar responds more to requests than orders.”

Selene nodded reluctantly. “I’ve found that also.” She went back to her original question. “What danger lies here?”

“Lord Ware has powerful enemies. I will tell you about it tomorrow. You need rest now.”

To Thea’s surprise Selene did not argue. “I’m dirty and smell of horse.” She yawned. “I’ll not be a pleasant bed companion.”

“I can bear it.” She stopped at the top of the stairs and hugged the girl. “I can bear anything now that you’re here and safe. Did I tell you how much I’ve missed you?”

“Yes.” Selene grinned. “Though you seem to have kept yourself very busy.”

Heat flooded Thea’s cheeks as she recalled how she had been busying herself only an hour ago. Did Selene mean—

“You found us friends in this new land and even mulberry leaves to keep the silkworms alive. Kadar said Lord Ware found a grove of white mulberry trees.”

Of course, that was what she meant, Thea realized with relief. The child had an uncanny perception, but she would never think of Thea in any carnal connection. “Yes, we transplanted five young trees on the green at the rear of the castle. Lord Ware is thinking of going into the silk trade. I promised to show him how to use the trees.”

“Are they doing well?”

“I think they’ll survive.”

“Then we’ll be able to leave soon. Since you owe him a debt, I can see how you’d feel obliged to stay until you gave him what he needed.”

The heat deepened in Thea’s cheeks. She had not given him what he needed. She had yielded to him her body, but she had not bestowed on him a child.

Selene nodded with satisfaction. “If the trees are flourishing, you won’t have to stay.”

“No, I won’t have to stay.” The thought brought a deep, wrenching pain. She had told Ware everything was different, and he had accepted it. She must do the same. She must forget about him. Selene and she would get on with their plans and their lives. They would be free, doing work they loved. It was what she had always wanted, the goal for which she had worked all her life. She should be soaring with happiness.

“What’s wrong?” Selene’s gaze was on her face.

“Nothing.” She gave her sister another quick hug before she set off down the hall. “It’s just that one becomes accustomed to a place, and Lord Ware has treated me with kindness.”

“He doesn’t look like a kind man—but, then, people are often not what they seem.”

Ware looked rough and hard and as dark as Selene had judged him. But he was also generous, protective, and intelligent. “He can be kind.”

“You like him.”

“We’ve grown accustomed to each other.” She would not evade the question; he deserved better from her. “Yes, I like him very much.”

“Perhaps he can visit us in Damascus.”

“No, that’s not possible.” Once she left Dundragon, she must cut the bond that had grown between them. Ware was safe at Dundragon; she would not see him endangered for her sake. The pain within her was growing deeper with each passing moment. She should have realized this would happen. She should have stopped the coupling; perhaps that would have lessened the bond. Too late now. Too late for anything but farewells.

“I’ve opened the windows and freshened up your chamber.” Jasmine was coming down the hall toward them. “You’ll be sleeping in your own room tonight?”

“Yes.” Thea gestured to Selene. “This is my sister, Selene. Jasmine has been helping me care for the trees.”

Jasmine nodded. “It’s good she is here. When do you leave for Damascus?”

Jasmine was as eager for her to leave Dundragon as was Selene. “Soon. But there’s no hurry. Selene has just arrived from one journey. We’re expecting a wagon of silk to arrive from Acre. We must be here to accept it.”

Jasmine nodded reluctantly. “But you must not tarry too long.” She moved past them toward the staircase.

Selene watched her before turning back to Thea. “She wishes you to go?”

“I’ve promised her a place once we have our own house. You’ll grow to like Jasmine.”

As Thea herself had grown to like her. She had developed a fondness for all these strange inhabitants of Dundragon. Jasmine, Abdul, even Tasza. And there was Haroun….

The pain was returning and it must be banished. Her life here was over. She must stop thinking of anything but her hope for the future. She opened the door of her chamber. The shutters were still open, and the room smelled fresh and cool and familiar.

“It is very grand, isn’t it?” Selene whispered, her eyes wide as her gaze traveled around the room. “This is all your own?”

“None of this is ours. It’s pleasant enough, but we don’t belong in castles.” She moved brusquely forward to close the window. “We’ll find a place far less grand for our own in Damascus.” She paused, looking down at the green where she had joined with Ware in passion earlier that day. How long would it be before she could subdue this aching regret?

“What are you going to make of the length of silk I brought you?” Selene asked. “A tunic?”

She was being foolish and weak. She must tie up all these painful, tattered ends and walk away. She firmly closed the shutter and latched it. “No, not a tunic. A banner.”

The linens of his bed still breathed of Thea, Ware realized as he lay in the darkness. Soap and lemon and the woman scent that was distinctly her own. He inhaled deeply, letting it flow into him. He would remember that fragrance if he lived a hundred years.

Not that there was a chance of that. He had beaten the odds too long. He would be fortunate to live another year. Every day was a gift.

As she had been a gift, beautiful and loyal, filled with life and vitality.

A gift he had taken and now must return.

No!

He closed his eyes and fought the rejection. He had known this moment would come, but he had not known it would be this difficult. He must smother this impulse to reach out and grab and hold on.

Once more. It would do no harm to have one more time before he sent her away.

Christ in heaven—no harm? When he lay here treasuring her scent on the sheets like a boy with his first woman? Let her go, you fool.

Let her be safe.

Let her live.

“Let me have that.” Kadar took the bucket of water from Thea and opened the door. “You should have one of the servants do this sort of task.” His gaze went to the cluster of mulberry trees. “I was surprised when Selene told me that these trees were here.”

“You’ve seen her this morning?”

“I made the mistake of promising her I’d show her my falcons. She was pounding on my door before I had a chance to break my fast.”

“She told me she was eager to see them.” She started down the path. “But, then, she was eager to see everything. I was going to start embroidering this morning and let Jasmine care for the trees, but I told her to show Selene the castle instead. I can begin on the silk this afternoon.” She shot him a glance. “Why are you surprised we planted the trees? The silk trade is very profitable.”

“As I saw in Constantinople. But Ware is no merchant.”

“Many lords dabble in the trade.”

“Ware is no dabbler.”

She shrugged. “You must be wrong. He wanted the trees.”

“Yes, he wanted the trees,” he murmured. “Curious.”

“I didn’t find it so.” They had reached the first tree, and she took the water from him. “It seemed very reasonable.”

“Because you’re blinded and dazzled by your silk.” He grimaced. “I saw thousands of worms devouring the leaves on the mulberry trees in Nicholas’s garden. I didn’t find it a pretty sight.”

“When you see what magic those worms weave…”

“I prefer to see the silk and not the process.” He watched her water the tree. “You are well?”

“Of course. Do I not look well?”

“Yes, I agree with Selene. You have a certain bloom.”

She quickly looked away. “I thank you for caring for my sister. I think you know what it means to me.”

“I told you I would care for her.” He smiled. “Besides, Ware tells me that you’ve done what I asked of you.”

“What did he say?”

He didn’t answer for a moment, and she could feel his gaze on her averted face. “Only that you had grown to know each other.” He paused. “What else is there to say?”

It appeared Ware had not told him of their intimacy. He would learn soon enough from the servants, but she found she could not confide in him. “Nothing.” She moved on to the next tree. “It was not an easy task you set me.”

“Retrieving Selene was not easy either. But we both succeeded in what we set out to do, so all is well. Isn’t it?”

She nodded. “And it will be better once we reach Damascus.”

“Ah, yes, Damascus. When do you intend leaving?”

“I have a task to complete here that should take no longer than a month. After that, we will leave.”

“What task?”

“I promised Lord Ware a banner. I cannot leave until it’s completed.”

“A month doesn’t seem long enough to fashion a banner.”

“I’ll do it. I can be very determined if I set myself entirely to a task.”

“I know that well enough.” His expression was thoughtful. “Why Damascus? Wouldn’t another place do as well?”

She shook her head. “I considered many towns before I decided on Damascus. It’s a place well-known in the trade, and fine embroideries are treasured there. Our silk house wouldn’t do as well in another city. It has to be Damascus.”

“I see.” He didn’t speak until she had moved on to the next tree. “There’s a possibility Ware may decide Damascus is not safe.”

“I’ve heard Damascus is a vast city. It should not be difficult for two women to lose themselves in such a place. I’ll take the chance.”

“But will Ware?”

“I’m a free woman now, with a free will. It’s my decision to make.”

“Well, there’s no sense discussing it at the moment. You still have a banner to create. Tell me, what device will you use? A dragon breathing flames? Or perhaps a bull for obstinacy? Either would be appropriate for our friend Ware.”

“He says he doesn’t care. When I sit down to draw the design, something will come to me. It always does.”

“An idea falls from heaven?” he teased.

She didn’t smile in return. “I don’t know where it comes from, but it comes. My mother once said she had heard it is so with all artists. I sit down with pen and let the whisper tell me what to draw and then guide my needle.”

“Whisper?”

“Not a real whisper. It’s inside my head….” She shrugged helplessly as she realized she was making little sense. “Or perhaps my heart. I don’t know…it’s just there. Whatever it is, it brings beauty. Isn’t that what’s important?”

“I can’t think of anything more important,” Kadar said gently. “I’ll be interested to see this banner.” He bowed. “But now I must join Ware. We had little chance to talk last night. I will see you at dinner?”

At her nod, he moved down the path toward the castle.

She felt a vague sense of unease as she watched him go. He had posed questions and stirred uncertainty in matters she had thought perfectly obvious. But, then, it was Kadar’s way to question everything and everyone, and she had been too filled with new and different emotions to think with any clarity.

None of it mattered anyway. The trees were here and growing strong. Let Ware do what he willed with them. After today she would give them into Jasmine’s care and concentrate on Ware’s banner.

A strong, beautiful banner, a banner to raise the heart and bring memories of—

Memories of her? Was she so vain that she would use her gift in such a cause? she wondered in self-disgust. Memories came from the soul, not from a piece of silk. She did not need a banner to remember Ware. All her life she would—

Dear God, let those memories dim. Leave the sweetness, let regret fade.

But Ware would know regret. She felt she would have known if life stirred within her. The one gift he wanted, she would not give him.

But she could give of her talent and her labor. She would empty her heart of everything but the whisper and the man himself and give him the most glorious of banners.

Ware stood gazing out the window when Kadar strode into the Great Hall.

“Did you take Thea to your bed?” Kadar asked without ceremony.

Ware glanced at him before returning his gaze to the courtyard. “Is that what she told you?”

“She told me nothing in words, but her manner…Did you?”

Ware turned to look at him. “What did you expect? You know what I am. You asked her to bear me company.”

“I didn’t tell her to become your whore.”

“She’s not my whore. I won’t have you—” He broke off and shrugged. “It’s done. I won’t ask her to come back to my bed.”

“And what if she’s with child?”

“Then I’ll find a way to protect her and the babe.” He glared at him. “Do you think me so lacking in responsibility that I’d not consider that?”

“And what if she won’t permit you to protect her?”

“She will have no choice.”

Kadar shook his head. “There is always choice when one has strength.” He paused. “You’ve not told her that she cannot go to Damascus.”

“In time.”

“If you don’t send her, she’ll go anyway. She believes that she can lose herself in the city.”

“Not from Vaden. She’d need four walls and an army to keep him away from her.” He muttered, “And even that may not be enough.”

“Four walls and an army,” Kadar repeated. “That sounds uncomfortably like a prison. Thea has just escaped from one prison. She would not tolerate another.” His gaze narrowed on Ware’s face, and then he gave a low whistle. “You mean it.”

“She will live.”

“That’s why you brought the mulberry trees here. You were making a nest for her. A safe, cozy nest, behind stone walls. You were providing her with everything she needed to lure her to stay. That’s why you had me bring Selene. It was to be her own little world.”

“Why not? She would have been very comfortable here.”

“And what if she’d chosen not to stay?”

Ware met his gaze. “She would have been very comfortable here.”

“By all the saints.” Kadar shook his head in wonder. “I’ve underestimated you, my friend. I didn’t think you capable of such subtle machinations.”

“I’ll have no more innocent blood on my hands.”

“So you seek to protect your entire world.” He tilted his head. “Was I to be imprisoned in your castle also?”

Ware didn’t answer.

Kadar laughed. “You were going to do it. I cannot believe it.”

“I’m no fool. I hoped to persuade you to leave me, and if you would not—” He shrugged. “I’ve told Abdul that from now on four men are to protect you at all times.”

“So you’re putting me behind a wall of guards instead of stone.”

“Until I can convince you that life would be both safer and more pleasant in some far-off land.”

“But not as interesting. I’d miss seeing you attempt to keep Thea imprisoned here at Dundragon.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but Thea can’t remain at Dundragon. Vaden knows about her, and he may have already told the Grand Master. If something happened to me, he’d know exactly where to find her, and I wouldn’t be here to defend the fortress. I have to find a safer place for her.”

“She prefers to find her own hiding place and take her own chances.” He sighed as he saw Ware’s implacable expression. “I fear I’m not convincing you.”

“How long before her silk arrives?”

“Wednesday of next week perhaps.” He nodded as he understood the relevance of the question. “You’re wondering how much time you have to find this haven? You have at least a month.” He smiled sardonically. “She wishes to repay your kindness by creating a banner for you. Though she may decide to wrap it around your neck and throttle you with it.”

“A month…”

“I’d be curious as to how you intend to find a haven for her in this land when you can find none for yourself.”

“I’ll have to consider,” he said. “But I will find it.”

“And after you find it, you have only to convince her to use it.” He turned away. “All this talk of prisons has made me uneasy. I think I’ll go to the tower to see my falcons. Do you know, I’m tempted to set Eleanor free today.”

“You’ve trained her too well. She would only come back to you.”

“One never knows. At least I’d have the satisfaction of knowing I’d made the attempt.”

“Thea isn’t Eleanor,” Ware said. “It would be unwise of you to become confused.”

“You’re warning me?”

“I’m reminding you…of Jedha. If Thea was killed, you would bear the guilt. You’ll have your own Jedha. I promise you that you’d not like the nightmares that would come after.”

Kadar’s smile faded. “A persuasive argument. Perhaps I’ll wait awhile and see what comes of this search for a haven.”

Ware smiled without mirth. “I thought you would. It’s all very well to have a tender heart, but you must strike a balance. We can never have everything we wish. A price must always be paid.”

“And Thea must pay it?”

Ware turned back to the window. “She won’t be the only one.”