Lion’s Bride

Chapter Sixteen

KADAR ROSE FROM HIS PALLET, cast a quick look at Selene sleeping on the bed before moving silently toward the door in the darkness.

“Where are you going?” Selene asked, wide-awake. “It must be the middle of the night.”

Kadar shook his head ruefully as he stopped and turned to face her. She had been watching him all evening; he should have known she was only pretending to slumber. “Go back to sleep. I’ll return soon.”

She raised herself on one elbow. “If they don’t catch you.”

He raised his brows. “I beg pardon? Sinan gives me free run of the fortress.”

She sat up in bed, her cotton robe a white blur in the darkness. “I don’t want you to go.”

“You’ll be quite safe. If you’re disturbed, run down the hall to Thea and Ware.”

“You think I fear for myself?” she asked fiercely. “I’m not such a coward.”

“I must go.” He started to turn away.

“Not two,” she said. “One is dangerous, two would be folly.”

He went still. Then he turned back to her, waiting.

“It’s not Sinan’s assassins who kill one of Kemal’s men each night. It’s you.”

“Is it?”

“It’s part of the game you play with Sinan. You keep him interested and retain his respect in the only way you can. You creep into Kemal’s camp and kill one man a night. But today, to distract Sinan from Lord Ware, you had to promise him a bonus. Two instead of one.” She said desperately, “You cannot do it.”

“I have great talent. Ask Sinan.”

“He would not talk to a beast of the field.” She swung her feet to the floor. “You know they’ll be expecting you. Don’t go.”

“Perhaps you’re wrong. It could be I’m only going for a walk in the courtyard. Thea and Ware seem to have no suspicions.”

“Thea can think only of Lord Ware, and he is still not well.” She was suddenly there before him, her hands grasping his arms. “Find another way.”

Her face appeared pinched and pale in the moonlight, but her eyes glittered with their usual indomitable spirit. He had always found it fascinating to watch the emotions flickering behind the outward boldness of those huge green eyes. “There is no other way.” He gently extricated himself from her grasp. “We need Sinan.”

“It’s not only Sinan. You want to go.”

“I would be mad to want to put my head in Kemal’s hands.”

“But you do.” Her gaze searched his expression. “I can see it. You’re…excited.”

“Am I?” He smiled. “Then it would be useless to persuade me not to go, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh, go away. Let them kill you. See if I care.” She whirled and stomped back to the bed. “I’ll think no more about you.”

“Excellent idea.” He left the chamber and moved quickly down the hall. He knew she would not sleep. She would lie there and worry…and curse him for making her worry.

Then he closed all thought of Selene from his awareness with the discipline and focus he had been taught. She was right, he was excited. At these times excitement always made his blood pump through his veins with exhilarating speed. He allowed himself that excitement because it made his mind sharp and his responses swift. But no other emotion must be present; he must wrap himself in the concentration of the act to come.

Nothing must intrude as he walked the dark path.

Footsteps echoed on the stone outside the door.

Instantly awake, Thea lifted her head from the pillow.

The footsteps passed and faded in the distance.

“It was probably only a guard.” Ware turned away from the window, a dark silhouette framed by the moonlight.

She sat up in bed. “Kadar said we wouldn’t be guarded.”

“That doesn’t mean Sinan doesn’t have other treasures he wishes to keep safe. The Old Man is paid very well for his services.”

She didn’t wish to dwell on those deadly services. She glanced at the window; the sliver of moon was now high in the sky. “You let me sleep. Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I wasn’t tired. I had to think.” He lit the candle on the table. “We have to decide what we’re to do after we leave here.”

“Dear God, we haven’t even escaped from Kemal yet.”

“We have to have a plan. After Kemal there will be the Knights Templar. We cannot run forever.”

“So you must rob yourself of sleep now.”

“We must come to an agreement.” He paused, as if bracing himself. “You must leave this land. I’m going to tell Kadar he’s to take you and Selene to a safe port and take passage.”

“To where?”

He scowled. “You won’t like it.”

“Where?”

“Scotland.”

She stared at him in amazement. “That barbarian land?”

“It’s safer than anywhere else. The highlands are wild and barren, and the Knights Templar hold no power there.”

“And what would I do in this barren place?”

“Live,” he said fiercely.

“And who would buy my silks?”

“I don’t care.” He frowned. “Well, I do care, but I’d rather see you alive than prosper in your trade.”

“Why that chill Scotland? Why not send me to the wilds of China? At least it’s civilized, and that’s where the silk trade began.”

“I have no familiarity with that place.”

“What difference does that make?”

He didn’t answer at once. He finally said jerkily, “When I think of you, I’d like to imagine you in the land of my birth. It would be…pleasant.”

She felt a melting deep inside. She forced herself to say brusquely, “That is very selfish of you.”

“I know.” His gaze shifted to the flame of the candle. “But if you go to Scotland, I can tell Kadar where it’s safe and where there is danger. I’d like you to buy my father’s lands, but that might be too dangerous. You must have no connection with me.”

“Then you don’t intend to go with us?” she asked, though she knew the answer.

He shook his head. “Perhaps I’ll go to Rome. Vaden lived there for a time, and he told me it’s a vast city. A man could lose himself in such a place.” His lips curled. “And the Templars would not expect to have me crouch on the Pope’s doorstep.”

“And you’ll live in civilized comfort while we shiver in your highlands.” She shook her head. “I think not.”

“You will go.” His gaze flew to her face. “For God’s sake, can’t you see? What does it take to make you accept that the danger is real?”

“I know the danger. I just don’t agree with your plan.”

“You can’t go to Damascus.”

“Nor to Rome?”

“No.”

“Because it’s too dangerous?”

He didn’t answer.

“Dangerous for me but not for you? You see, it’s a faulty plan.”

“It’s not a faulty plan, and you’ll go to Scotland if I have to stuff you in a trunk and send you there in the cargo hold.”

“Oh, I have every intention of going to your Scotland.” She paused deliberately. “As long as you go with me.”

He went still. “You know I cannot go.”

“I know I won’t go without you. Make a choice.”

“They’ll never stop searching for me. I can’t stay with you.”

“Because you fear they’ll scoop me up too, if they find you. Well, I believe we’re more clever than they are. I think we can lose ourselves and live a fine, full life.”

“I hope you can. Kadar will make sure you have funds and the opportunity to—”

“Together.” She stood up and moved toward him. “We go together or not at all.” Mother of God, his expression was tormented. Why wouldn’t the stubborn man see reason? “For I will not live without you.”

He smiled bitterly. “After you assured me you’d never forgive me, I didn’t expect this kindness. It is very noble of you to—”

“I’m not noble and I won’t forgive your betrayal.” She paused. “Be sure that I’ll make you pay for it in any number of ways in the years to come. Every time I wish something you find unreasonable, I’ll remind you of it.” She stepped forward and laid her head on his chest. She could feel the beat of his heart through the cloth of his tunic. How strange that all her fears were vanishing as she battled Ware’s. She whispered, “And the first thing I wish is that you wed me.”

His muscles went rigid. “Wed? You know I cannot wed you.”

“I’m tired of your ‘cannots.’ You cannot go to Scotland, you cannot wed me.” She rubbed against him. It was like rubbing against the unyielding trunk of a tree, she thought ruefully. “It seems you will do both. For I’ll have it no other way.”

“Why?” he said harshly. “Has your life so little value to you that you wish to join it with mine?”

“It has great value and grows richer every day. It’s truly amazing, when you’re always seeking to make it more difficult.”

“Stop touching me.” His voice was hoarse.

“It’s necessary that I touch you. Your mind is not working properly, but your body is always ready.” She brushed her lips along his collarbone. “And I wish to be with child by the time we board this ship for Scotland.”

“No!”

She leaned back and looked into his face. “I will wed you and have your child. This I swear. It will do you no good to fight me. I’ll have my way in this.”

His voice shook. “I will not be the death of you.”

“No, you will be the life of me.” She cupped his face in her hands and stared straight into his eyes. “I love you and I think you have love for me. Don’t try to tell me it’s guilt or duty; it is love.”

“If I tell you I don’t love you, will you leave me?”

“No, for you would be lying. Wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.” His voice broke as he buried his face in her hair. “God help you.”

His arms were crushing the breath out of her, but she didn’t complain. “God did help me. I prayed and He answered. He kept you alive. I’ll ask nothing else from Him.”

She could feel something warm and wet on her temple. “I will,” he said. “I’ll ask Him to do what I cannot do. I’ll ask Him to send you away from me.”

“He won’t listen. He obviously prefers me. I was the one He chose to make a banner for Him.”

He gazed wonderingly down at her. “You’re jesting. You’re not afraid any longer?”

“I cannot believe in this magic banner, but the God who answered my prayer listened to a woman. I did not believe that possible. I didn’t think He paid any attention to a woman’s needs.” Her eyes glowed luminously. “This is a thing of wonder. If Asherah is the part of Him that gave you back to me, then there’s nothing to fear.”

“Except Sinan and Kemal and Vaden and the Knights Templar.”

“We can do nothing about them now.” She smiled. “But we can do something about the babe I’m to have.”

He shook his head. “I risked your life before. I will not do it again.”

She took a step back, pulled her robe over her head, and dropped it onto the floor. “You keep repeating the mistake of thinking that you’re the one who chooses the risks I take. It’s my right alone.” She moved naked to the bed and lay down. “Just as it’s your choice to be foolish and stand there all night when we could give and take pleasure.”

“Cover yourself,” he said hoarsely.

She didn’t move. “You cover me.”

His muscles were knotted with a terrible tension. He moved slowly, heavily, toward her as if drawn by a magnet. “I cannot do it. Why do you wish this child so much?”

“Life. With such a stubborn man I must do everything possible to keep you with me. You wanted a child because you were sure you couldn’t have life. I want one because I believe you’ll do everything possible to stay alive to protect your child.” He was beside the bed now and she reached out and took his hand. “It wasn’t only that the risk was great, I think you believed you didn’t deserve life. Too many people had died because you found the lion throne.” She lifted his hand to her cheek. “You do deserve to live. God could have taken you, and He did not. Doesn’t that prove something to you?”

His hand was shaking. “I cannot—Cover yourself.”

She moved over on the bed. “Lie with me. I’ll not do more than hold your hand if that’s your will.”

“My will?” He laughed desperately. “I seem to have no will.”

She tugged at his hand. “Lie with me.”

He was on the bed but lying apart from her. “I cannot go with you to Scotland. Your danger would increase tenfold if I—”

“And your child will have no father to protect him if you do not come.” She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed the palm. “Shh, don’t think of Scotland. Is this not pleasant?”

“No. Yes.” He did not look at her. “If one likes excruciating pain. I’ve heard some take pleasure in it.”

She kissed his palm again. “They must be very peculiar folk. I promise you there will be no pain for you in my body.”

A great sigh racked his body. “You’re a cruel, cruel woman.”

“Because I must have my way in this? It’s taken us too long and the path has been too painful.” She whispered, “I love you and I will love no other. I don’t wish to spend my life alone. We must give ourselves a chance. Do you think this is easy for me? My body craves you, not a babe. It’s been a long time since you—”

He gave an explosive sound and was suddenly over her, parting her thighs. “Too long,” he muttered as he tore off his tunic and threw it aside. “I cannot stand—”

He plunged deep.

She gasped and reached out and grasped his shoulders.

Fullness.

The sensation lasted only an instant, replaced by heat and need as he thrust wildly, deeply. “Take…,” he muttered. He lifted her buttocks to meet each savage thrust. It wasn’t enough. It was as if he were starved and could not get deep enough, move fast enough, hard enough. He lifted her legs and put them over his shoulders, leaving her open and vulnerable. “Look—at us.”

She dazedly looked down at their joining and another surge of dark excitement rippled through her. It seemed impossible she could take him, and yet she was. Over and over. Deeper, deeper.

She bit her lower lip to suppress a groan as the tension built to unbearable heights.

His hands were on her, smoothing her, plucking at her.

Her back arched as a spasm shook her.

She was panting, her nails digging into his shoulders.

“Ware, it’s—”

“Yes.” His lips were drawn back from his teeth in a contorted grin. “Too—long. It—hurts. I can’t be—” He gave a low groan as he plunged to the hilt.

He collapsed on top of her as his release tore through him. His heart was beating so hard, she could nearly hear its thunder.

“I didn’t want—” He gasped. “You see what—I am? I cannot even be gentle. I nearly tore you apart.”

She couldn’t answer until she got her breath. “I seem to be in one piece.” She brushed her lips along his cheek. “But this position is not—natural to me. Not that I minded it when we—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t think—” He was moving off her, his arms enfolding her. “I had to have more of you.”

“You didn’t hurt me. I don’t remember complaining.” Not that she had been able to think at all during those wild moments. “You gave me exactly what I wanted.”

“Too much.” His palm rubbed her belly. “If you’re not with child tonight, it will be a miracle.”

“No, if I’m with child tonight, it will be a miracle. A child is always a miracle.” She smiled. “You did very well. However, I believe we will do it again soon. It’s very convenient that we have little else to do while we wait for Kadar to smooth the way for us. I find I’ve missed this very much.”

He chuckled. “It will be my pleasure. I’m relieved it’s not just my seed you wish.”

“A babe would not be necessary so soon if you weren’t such a stubborn man. I must tie you to me in every way I can, or you’ll start having qualms about doing what must be done.”

“Wedding you and getting you with child?”

“And living with me for many, many years.”

“Years…,” he repeated wistfully. “You seem so certain. I cannot believe. I can only hope.”

“At least you hope. I was beginning to think you’d remain lost in gloom forever. I was growing very weary of it.” She said with emphasis, “But I believe. That is enough.”

“It appears it will have to be.” He kissed her on the tip of the nose. “For you have me too muddled and bedazzled to put two thoughts together.”

“Do I?” Her arms tightened around him. “Good. For that was my purpose. When you think, I have only trouble with you.”

His expression clouded. “I should think. I should not let you—”

“Hush.” She followed the command with a quick, hard kiss. “You see? Nothing but disturbance. We deserve this and I’ll not permit you to spoil it.” She pushed him back on the bed and rolled on top of him. “Though after El Sunan you must prove to me that you deserve me.”

“I don’t deserve you. And I cannot prove what isn’t true.”

She could feel tears sting her eyes. She swallowed hard. “I’ll endeavor to keep you firmly of that belief. You’re a proud, arrogant man, and it’s taken me much too long to convince you of my worth.”

“You didn’t convince me, I always knew it. You are sunlight and strength and joy.” He added simply, “And that’s why I will love you to my last breath.”

Dear God, it was dangerous to love a man this much. This was what she had feared, that love would leave her vulnerable. She could not be flippant or raise any barriers against him when he moved her like this.

His index finger traced her jawbone. “I would like to give you a gift. Women like gifts, don’t they?”

“I suppose everyone likes gifts.”

“What can I give you?”

He might already have given her the gift she had demanded of him. But she would not speak of the babe until they were safely away from this land.

“Only one thing,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Smile. You are too grim. You must smile more.” She smiled herself, but she knew it to be a poor, tremulous one. “A husband should look happy, or everyone will think you’ve taken a terrible shrew for a wife.”

It was close to dawn when Kadar returned to the chamber.

Selene watched him move like a shadow toward his pallet. She would not feel this overwhelming relief. He had been foolish not to heed her plea.

“Say it,” Kadar said as he lay down. “Or you will surely burst.”

“Two?”

“Two.”

“Then you don’t deserve to be alive.”

“The deserving don’t always get their just rewards.” He rolled over and pulled up his cover. “If you’re finished, I’d like to go to sleep.”

“I’m finished.” She lay there a minute longer. “Kemal’s men would have butchered us if given the opportunity. They almost killed Lord Ware.”

“Yes.”

“Then you should feel no guilt.”

“I feel no guilt.”

“I think you do.”

“You’re wrong. Once the decision to kill is made, I feel nothing. I’ve been well trained.”

She was suddenly aware of an aura of remote hardness surrounding him that frightened her. “By that foul Old Man. You’re not like him.”

“He thinks I am.” He paused. “I don’t really want to argue with you anymore tonight. Do you suppose you could restrain yourself and go back to sleep?”

His voice was heavy with unutterable weariness, and for some reason that exhaustion only made her angrier. “You won’t sleep.”

“Of course I will.”

The certainty in his tone increased her uneasiness. She sat up and lit the candle on the table next to the bed.

He turned his face to look at her. “Blow out the candle.”

The flame was reflected in his dark eyes, but they mirrored no warmth. Cold. Cold and yet as burning as the eyes of the Old Man of the Mountain.

She stared at him as stunned as if she had been pierced with a sword. Panic tore through her.

No, by the Saints, she would not permit this.

She threw aside the cover, ran across the room, and dropped to her knees beside him. “You must not do this again. It’s bad for you.”

“I assure you, it was far worse for Kemal’s men.”

“I don’t care about them.” She took his hands in her own. How strange that they were warm when he seemed so remote and cold. “I don’t like to see you like this. Do you hear me?”

“I could hardly help it.” He paused. “Aren’t you afraid to touch my hands? There’s blood on them, you know. Only figuratively speaking. I was careful to wash when I reached the courtyard.”

He was trying to jar her, push her away, so that he could retain that hard, hollow core. Her hands tightened on his. “Stop trying to make me afraid of you. I’m not going to let you go.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re—” She stopped. There might be only one way to reach him, but it was the most difficult for her. She said haltingly, “I need you the way you were.”

“Need?” He arched a brow. “You?”

“Stop mocking me. Thea’s going away from me. I need someone to be there.”

“So you choose my unworthy self.”

“I won’t be alone. It…hurts.”

“Does it?” He gazed up at her face. “Poor Selene. It must hurt very much to bring you to me.”

“You’re the only one I can go to. You know me. You’ve always known me.” She paused. “And I know you.”

He shook his head.

“I do . I’ve always known what you are. I don’t care.”

He studied her for a long time before saying slowly, “I believe you. Extraordinary.”

“So you must come back to me. I won’t be alone again.” Her eyes met his, demanding, fierce, compelling, before she threw herself down beside him and buried her face in the hollow of his shoulder. “I won’t have you leave me and become like that man.”

He stiffened in surprise. “Get up and go to your bed, child.”

“So that you won’t rape me as the Old Man would?”

“Don’t be stupid. I would never—” He broke off and chuckled. “Very clever. Strike where you know there is no armor.”

She didn’t feel clever, she felt desperate and afraid, but the darkness around him was lessening a little. “It’s hard for me to lie here. I don’t like to touch people.”

“It makes you uneasy to lower your guard.”

Were the muscles of his body loosening? He seemed less stiff and resisting. “See, I told you that you knew me. You don’t touch people either.” She amended, “Except when you rut with the women at Dundragon, and that doesn’t count.”

“You knew about that?”

She ignored the question. “All men rut, but lust is different from affection. Affection makes one hurt when people go away. My mother went away, and now Thea is going too.”

“Thea would never leave you.”

“But she’ll never belong to me in the same way again. You’ll probably go away too, but I won’t have you go like this. There’s no reason why you can’t stay with me now.” She paused. “Is there?”

She held her breath, waiting.

He did not reply.

She tried to keep the panic from her voice. “Answer me.”

His hand hovered over her hair like the delicate brush of the wings of a butterfly, scarcely a touch at all.

“You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“No.”

“You’d really be much better off without me, you know.”

She was almost limp with relief. He was hers .

He sat up and gathered her in his arms. “And I’d be much better off with a few hours’ rest.” He stood up and carried her to the bed. He covered her with the blanket with great care and stood looking down at her. “Will you go to sleep now?”

“Of course. Do you think I’d lie awake and dwell on this nonsense if there was no need?”

He chuckled. “Not you, Selene.” His smile faded. “What would you have done if I hadn’t decided—”

“Anything,” she answered simply. “My first thought was to hit you on the head, sling you over your horse, and ride out of here.”

He said solemnly, “How fortunate for me that you didn’t have to resort to such measures.”

“I thought so too.” She closed her eyes. “And I don’t want to worry anymore about your going to Kemal’s camp. Think of something else.”

“Yes, my lady.”

She yawned. “And we must find a way to retrieve those boxes of embroidery from the grove.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes.” She said haltingly, “It seems fitting that you hold my hand until I go to sleep…if you don’t mind. Only for tonight, you understand.”

“I don’t mind.” He sat down on the bed. “I agree. It’s entirely fitting.”

His hand enfolded hers. Comfort. Warmth. Safety. She could feel him hovering over her, extending his protection like the dark wings of a falcon.

A falcon. She fought off slumber long enough to murmur, “Eleanor and Henry. We’ll have to get your falcons….”

Dawn poured through the narrow window, painting a strip of brilliant light on the coverlet.

Kadar shifted a few inches on the bed to block it from Selene’s face. The child was sleeping deeply, trustingly, her hand holding his even in slumber, refusing to let him go.

So much fire and determination. He had never dreamed anyone would ever care enough to venture into the darkness to pull him into the light. He felt bewildered and awkward and filled with a strange sense of wonder.

And a stranger sense of grace.

“Selene informs me that my way of ridding ourselves of Kemal is without merit,” Kadar said when Ware opened the door to his knock. “It seems we will have to decide on a new plan of action.” His gaze went beyond Ware to Thea, who was clutching the blankets to her breasts. “Good afternoon, Thea. You look very…rested.”

Heat flushed her cheeks. “Where is Selene?”

“Still sleeping. She had a troubled night.” He entered the chamber. “Put on your tunic, Ware. We must talk, and it’s clear Thea is not comfortable with your nakedness.”

Ware bent down, retrieved the garment from the floor, and pulled it over his head. “What plan?”

Kadar dropped down into the chair and stretched his legs out before him. “I hoped you would have an idea. After all, you’re the warrior. Whatever it is, it must be soon. Sinan may lose patience, since I’ve chosen not to amuse him any longer. He’s most unpredictable when he doesn’t get what he wants.”

“How much time do we have?”

“I can stave him off a few days, perhaps.”

“Will you be safe long enough for me to bring Abdul and my troops here from the border?”

Kadar tilted his head, considering. “Three days there, three days back. It’s possible.”

“Don’t tell me it’s possible. I have to know.”

“I can do it.” His lips curved ruefully. “Though Selene may not be pleased with my methods. You will leave at once?”

“As soon as darkness falls.”

“No,” Thea said. “I won’t have it. How will you get past Kemal?”

“With extreme care,” Kadar answered. “One rider might be able to do it if there is a distraction.” He shrugged. “And I’ll provide the distraction. It should not be difficult. Kemal’s men should be very nervous right now.” He snapped his fingers. “The death drums. They terrified them before. I’ll take a few of Sinan’s men and—”

“It’s too dangerous.” Neither of them were listening to her, she realized. She wrapped the coverlet around herself and stood up. “Even if you get past Kemal, what of the Templars? The whole countryside may be a battleground by now.”

“If it is, we’ll be helpless without an army.” Ware went to the washstand and splashed water onto his face. “It’s our only hope.”

“You’re too weak. You were lying almost dead a few days ago.”

He smiled. “Have I not proved my vigor?”

“Stop crowing like a rooster and listen to me. A ride like that could kill you.”

“It was my head, not my body that was hurt. My endurance is not harmed.” He crossed to stand before her. “Now, stop arguing and think. I’m a warrior. I can do this. My men will follow only me into battle, so I’m the only one who can do it. You know it.”

She did not want him to be right, but she could not deny it. “I don’t want—” She stopped and then said fiercely, “You will come back to me. And it won’t be with your stupid head crunched or a sword through your belly. Do you hear?”

“I hear you.” He tenderly brushed her cheek with his hand. “Did you ever hear such sweet words of parting, Kadar?”

“I’ve said all the sweet words you’ll hear from me until you return.” She had to steady her voice. “And this is the last time I’ll be put aside. Next time you go into battle, I go with you.”

“When we reach Scotland,” he promised. He brushed her cheek with his lips. “I’ll do the embroidering and you can wage war. You see, I’m jesting, and you’re the one who isn’t smiling.”

“This is not funny.” She gazed at him, outraged as she saw the eagerness in his expression. “You like this. You want to go.”

“What can I say? I am what I am. I’m tired of being helpless and glad to have something to do that may help us.” He turned away. “Come, Kadar, we must make sure my horse has rested enough to be able to make the journey.”

“You can switch horses when you reach the camp.” Kadar gave Thea a wary glance as he stood and followed Ware.

Ware had already forgotten her. No, not forgotten, but put her aside, she realized. Last night the power had been hers, but now he was in control.

And would she have really wanted it any other way? She wanted a strong man, not one who could be ruled by her.

Well, perhaps a man sometimes ruled by her. It would not hurt to take turns.

She just wished his turn had not come in a fashion that would put him in danger and make her feel this helpless.

But she was not helpless, and she would not accept that niggardly farewell. She dropped the cover and moved toward the washstand. She would dress and go to the stables and garner every bit of his company she could before he left Maysef.

“If I don’t return, you’ll take Thea and Selene to Damascus and arrange passage to Scotland. I look to you to protect her.” Ware tightened the cinch. “Pay no attention if she protests. She’ll be safer there.”

“It’s difficult not to pay attention when Thea protests.” He watched Ware strap a water skin and packet of rations to the saddle. “I was surprised she had agreed to go with you. Selene was right, Thea must be truly enslaved by your charms.”

Ware winced. “Don’t mention enslavement. I fear I’ll suffer the rest of my life for El Sunan.” He stepped away from the horse. “How will you distract Kemal?”

“The camp will still be awake, so I cannot rely on action. I’ll have to depend on fear.” He smiled. “Fear can be a terrible weapon. Sinan uses it almost as frequently as poison.”

Ware fixed him with a probing stare. “We heard footsteps last night. I told Thea it was probably a guard, but I know your step well. You went to Kemal’s camp.”

“Did I?”

“I want your promise you’ll not go again while I’m gone. The risk is too great.”

“The risk grew less with every visit.”

“You cannot kill all of them.”

He shrugged. “I won’t give you my promise. I’ll do what is necessary to protect us while you’re gone.” He grimaced. “Even if I break my vow to Selene.”

It was the second time he had mentioned Selene. “What does Selene have to do with this? She’s only a child.”

Kadar chuckled. “Ah, but she’s a child who owns me. And I know my duty far better than you in such a situation.”

“She saved your life?”

“No, something far more valuable.” Kadar’s gaze went beyond Ware’s shoulder. “Here is Thea to bid you good-bye. I’ll leave you alone. I must go make arrangements for our ‘distraction.’”

Ware turned and watched Thea striding toward him, bold, fair, purposeful. “I would have gone back to say farewell.”

“She’s not one to wait.”

No, she wasn’t. She would always grasp the moment and make it her own. As she had made him her own, thank God. Last night still seemed a miracle to him. He forced himself to look away from her and returned to the odd comment Kadar had made regarding Selene. “But what could be more valuable than the saving of a life?”

Kadar smiled over his shoulder. “Why, a soul, my friend. What else?”