Locke 2 (Blackwater Boys #4)

Four

Kali

I was running late.

My knee bounced as I glanced up at the wall clock for the tenth time. I’d told Patsy I’d be a half hour late, but I was approaching the twenty-minute mark, and the doctor hadn’t seen me yet. I rubbed my eyes, fighting back another yawn. The secretary had looked at me annoyed every time I did it. I guess I was a loud yawner.

I got up, pacing to keep myself distracted from checking the time. My eyes skimmed the certificates on the wall, the history of the three doctors that personally operated out of this office. Well, it was actually a house turned into an office, and it was pretty cool. There were personal photos randomly scattered about. One was of the owner, a Doctor Abbott that worked here for forty years and then died, which was pretty sad. That being said, my doctor’s name was Doctor Abbott, so maybe it was his brother or son? I’d never been here before, so I was about to find out.

I checked the clock again and yawned. The secretary glared at me. I smiled apologetically, even though the old me would have wanted to body slam her. What did she honestly have to be shitty about? She got to live in a cute little town and work in a doctor’s office and wear pretty clothes—

“Kari,” the young doctor’s assistant called, smiling at me as she appeared at the threshold of the corridor. “Doctor Abbott will see you now.”

The secretary’s eyes followed me out of the room. Seriously bad vibes from that lady. The assistant took my weight and other details and then led me to the office. It was a very warm office. There was even a fireplace. I’d never been to a doctor’s office with a fireplace. Photos hung on the wall. Of the old doctor that died and a younger looking man. Fishing photos and hunting photos. River shots and camp shots. My eyes skimmed the wall, my lips curving in a warm smile because this doctor was very evidently the son of the late Doctor Abbott.

“Kari.”

I turned around and my breath sort of stilled as the doctor breezed in, looking wildly more attractive than I expected. He had to be late thirties with dark brown hair and piercing green eyes. He was also dressed pretty casually for a doctor. He was wearing jeans, for crying out loud, and he had a nice charcoal coloured sweater. I was pretty sure they were those kinds of sweaters that cost a month’s worth of my salary because they were all eco friendly and made 100% of wool. They were probably made by a family who supposedly lived in a cabin that was secretly a mansion and had a pretend fairytale story tied to their company.

I blinked back to the present. “Yes,” I said. “That’s me.”

“Good to see you. I’m Doctor Abbott but call me Nick.”

Nick Abbott.

It was a nice name.

Not as nice Max Locke, but…

I shook my head, banishing that name out of it.

Nick slipped on his reading glasses, and they made him look even better. He looked down at the chart the assistant filled out.

“New patient,” he said. “You’re new in Georgewel.”

“Sort of,” I replied. “I’ve been here a year.”

“Where’d you come from?”

I’d been asked this, so my lie was smooth. “Oh, I’ve been all over.”

People didn’t usually prod with that response. It was a neat little conversation killer.

“You’re experiencing a lot of anxiety,” he said, moving along like I expected. “Tell me a little about that.”

“I’m a really anxious person,” I explained as he rounded his desk and took a seat. “It’s sort of messing me up lately.”

His green eyes held mine, and there was a hint of concern, but I chalked that up to doctor acting. “How so?”

I glanced at my dead sister as she stood beside his desk, taking sips out of her teacup, eyeing me like she really wanted to know, too. I looked at him. “Heart palpitations are getting worse, and I’ve been getting panic attacks. It’s been hard doing things like work and shopping.”

“What do you do for work?”

“I’m a teacher’s aide.”

His brows shot up, intrigued. “What school?”

“Forest View.”

His lips twitched. “I went there as a kid.”

“I’m in the split class. Kindy and grade one with Patsy—”

“Butte,” he cut in on a laugh that sounded infectious.

I laughed, too. “You had her?”

He nodded, amused. “I had her.”

“Well, she’s ancient now.”

“She was ancient when I had her. Hell, my dad probably had her.” That remark made us laugh again. “She was also easy to distract. We could get away with a lot in Miss Butte’s class.”

I nodded. “I’m supposed to put a stop to that.”

He smiled warmly, and it made my stomach flutter. “So, your anxiety is probably getting worse with all that noise and kids and taking on what she doesn’t want to see.”

“I enjoy my job,” I explained. “I really do. I love the kids. They make me happy, but yes…it gets to be a lot.”

He nodded in understanding. “I get anxious, too. I tend to focus on the things that make me happy when it gets too much.”

Oh, god. Please don’t tell me to take a hike and get in touch with nature. I just wanted some pills. Something to ease the anxiety. Please don’t be a hippy doctor that prescribes sunbathing.

“I can tell,” I said, motioning to one of the photos. “You’re outdoorsy.”

He glanced at the photo. It was of him much younger with his dad, and they were out front of a log cabin. “My old man taught me how to fish, hunt, and make a fire.”

“That’s really cool. It’s a nice picture of you and your dad. Is that place here?”

He nodded, and he looked sort of sad. “Sort of. My cabin on Hollybrook is my escape. It’s about an hour’s drive in the mountains. Great place to retreat to when it gets too much. Nice family cabin, but a little neglected lately.”

“You haven’t been, you mean.”

“No.” His gaze went faraway. “I don’t get to have breaks around here. Doctors are in high demand. We’re needed.” He shook his head, like he was getting off track. “Anyway, you got anything to unwind to?”

I nodded. “I foster dying dogs.”

He stilled, surprised by that answer. I realised how it sounded. He recovered quickly and this time his eyes really looked at me. “That relaxes you, Kari?”

It distracts me, actually, and they need me. They look at me and have me and we become each other’s worlds.

I shrugged. “Among other things.”

He glimpsed me over, and his cheeks burned suddenly. I was in tights and a cropped sweater. It showed off my hips. He was having indecent thoughts. I could tell by the way his gaze lingered in places. I wondered how indecent they were. He looked down at a spot on his desk. “I uh…I think you should consider some breathing exercises, maybe even do some exercise…not that you need it. I mean…you know…” He cleared his throat, fumbling. “I can try you on some medication, and we can start from there. I have a couple you can choose from, but we’d need to do a follow up to see whether we need to tweak the doses.” His eyes finally met mine, and he was back to being composed, though still very much conscious of my presence.

I sort of didn’t expect it. To be around someone so evidently attracted to me. It’d been so long, I almost felt invisible. I should have glowed and felt excited.

But I thought of dark eyes and black suits and a man that would have shoved me down and taken what he wanted instead of blushing up a storm.

Oh, no.

Something was still wrong with me.

I needed it gone. This terrible flaw had to be cut out of me somehow. In fact, if this doctor asked me out, I had to agree to it. I was here to be part of the normal fabric of society. Surely as I continued to live like this, I’d finally be normal, too.

No more of these damn fantasies of a man taking what he wanted, coercing me to do vile things—

It. Had. To. Stop.

Nick wrote me a script with a promise of a follow up. The doctor personally walked me out of the office and to the front desk, and I could tell Miss I-Hate-People-Who-Yawn was surprised by that.

“I really like the office,” I said as we departed. “With the pictures and the cabin…It’s really cozy and interesting. Thanks for sharing your memories.”

He grinned, chuffed by the compliment. “Well, it’s a place to get away when it gets too much. In fact, if you need a getaway, I got the hook up.”

I smiled. “You’d let a stranger into your cabin?”

His eyes surprisingly held mine. “You’d be no stranger, I hope.”

Yawn-Hater gaped at him, clearly upset with whatever she was seeing. I gave him a lingering look, trying to muster my old flirty self. “I’ll keep that in mind, Nick.”

Yawn-Hater wasn’t happy I used his first name, either. Old Kali might have stuck her tongue at her, but I chewed down on mine instead.

His eyes lingered on me all the way to the door, and I couldn’t help but feel relieved he hadn’t asked me out.

I wasn’t ready.

I worried I’d never be.

Just the act of flirting with him made me feel like I’d done something wrong.

“You betrayed him.” Aurora scowled up at me as I hurried down the path to the school.

“I did not,” I snapped back. “It’s been over a year.”

“Whose fault is that?”

Oh, my God. “Go away, Aurora.”

“Kicking me out of your head already? When will you stop running from what you’re scared of?”

“I’m not running—” I spun around to look down at her, my voice on the brink of a shout.

She wasn’t there.

My heartbeat was going a million miles an hour. Tears dotted my vision. It was a good thing no one was around to watch me lose it, and yet I was beginning to panic. I looked around, searching.

“Come back,” I whispered. “Aurora?”

Nothing but stillness greeted me.