Locke 2 (Blackwater Boys #4)

Twenty-TwO

Kali

L ocke didn’t flee or call me crazy.

Instead, his face remained stony, but his eyes flickered about my face. He took my words into consideration, but whether he was budging on this, I couldn’t tell.

Finally, he straightened, towering over me. I felt very little, but my presence felt big. I had opened a wound, told him a big part of me I’d never uttered to another soul. I’d expected to feel vulnerable and judged, but those feelings didn’t come. Instead, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders, like it’d been pushing me down for so long.

It felt good to say Aurora’s name out loud. It felt freeing to let him know she was standing in this room—this unreal form of her—because now she wasn’t just stuck with me, but with him, too.

“Get back in bed,” he finally said.

The last thing I wanted was for him to go. “Don’t leave me, Locke.”

“I won’t leave,” he said, and then quietly added, “I never left, Kali.”

What did he mean by that? My brows pinched together as I stared up at him, trying to discern this mercurial man. “If I get into bed, where will you be?”

He looked away. “Around.”

“Locke.”

“What is it, Kali?”

“Lay with me.”

He stilled. “I’m not tired.”

“So?”

He cocked his head to the side. “So, you must want more than to lay with me.”

My lips flinched. “You used to read my diary, Locke. If I wanted you to do more than lay with me, I’d say ‘fuck me’ instead.”

He wasn’t amused. His voice came out in warning. “If I got into bed with you, Kali, we would do more than lay. You would wind up beneath me, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer. If you’re prepared for that ruin, invite me into your bed again.”

“Invite you so that you can fuck me again without giving me a choice?”

“That’s one way of looking at it.”

I raised a brow. “You’re still twisted, Locke.”

“Yet you continue to hold the power.”

He was right.

I could tell him to go away, and he wouldn’t use me to his liking. My chest dipped as a slow breath released from my lungs. I considered his warning, knowing fully well what would happen if I handed the power over to him. He would lose himself to me again, and I had a feeling it would be much worse this time around.

Like before, we were falling deep and fast.

But unlike before, he was not going to let me walk away.

He’s going to steal you.

The thought of Locke taking me to do all those sordid things to me awoke every old part of me that I had tried to bury deep. The parts that I said weren’t healthy and needed to be shed. Standing before him now, those parts were alive inside me, aching to be touched.

“Interesting,” I breathed out, delighting in his restraint. “You’re acting like such a gentleman.”

“Lioness, there’s nothing gentlemanly about my warning.”

“The man that abducted me, that chased me and forced me down on that grassy field, that forced my legs apart and nearly fucked me didn’t ask for my permission.”

His gaze burned a path down my body. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Why not?”

“Because the last thing I want to see is the loathing in your eyes after I’ve taken you.”

My amusement faded as I heard the wretchedness in his voice. My heart slowed. Sadness pulled at my centre. I quietly admitted, “I don’t loathe you, Locke. I don’t think I ever did.”

“Tell him,” Aurora whispered, emerging from my peripheral vision. “Tell him what he made you feel, Kali.”

But I shook my head, the words sitting like hard lumps in my throat. I turned away from him—from her—and crawled into bed. I heard his soft sigh of relief behind me.

Perhaps he was closer to losing it than I thought.

I took a very deep breaths to calm myself. He took a seat on the chair I’d left in the bedroom specifically for him. His weight made it groan. Dahlia’s head popped up from under the covers. She sprinted across the mattress and practically dived off the bed and into his lap.

I smiled, though it was weak. “She likes you.”

She settled into his lap, and I almost felt jealous when he rested a large hand over her back and gently stroked her. “You rescued her.”

I nodded. “After the original owners found out she had cancer, they didn’t want her anymore.”

“It was the best thing to happen to her.”

“How so?”

“If they didn’t want her, they’d have pulled away. She’d have felt unwanted. It would have been cruel of them to keep her.”

“That’s true,” I agreed. “You’d be surprised how many people don’t want to confront death.”

“Do you judge them for it?”

“No. I understand the urge to pull away.” I looked at him sadly. “But who is there for the little one left behind?”

He looked longingly at me. “You.”

My face fell. The past disagreed with his statement. I looked down, avoiding his eyes. “As you know, I’ve done my fair share of running, Locke. Taking her in was the least I could do.”

He continued to stroke her, and I continued to watch. I stared at him. The way he pulled his brows together. The slight flinch of his lips as she encouraged him to keep going by bumping her head against his hand. He was so gentle with her.

Why couldn’t he be like that with me?

“Lay with me,” I urged again.

He didn’t look at me, nor did he appear surprised. “It would hurt.”

I smiled, cheekily saying, “I bounce back. I’m all healed from the other night.”

“I meant me.”

My smile fell. I didn’t expect that response. I gathered myself quickly. “I understand.”

“Do you?” He sounded sceptical.

“Yes, I do.”

“You look to be in enormous pain,” he said, sardonically. “Living a comfortable little life here—”

“It hurts,” I cut in. “It never stopped hurting.”

“And yet not a word from you.”

His acidic words didn’t cut me like I thought they would. I only felt warmth as I raptly listened to him. Being in his presence, no matter how cold it felt, made me happy in a way I’d not felt in so long.

“I didn’t think I mattered to you,” I admitted. “I thought you’d forgotten me.”

He tensed, growling, “I made it clear what you meant to me. I explicitly told you my intentions before I gave you that head start.”

“So, make it clear again.” I paused, wondering. “Did you miss me, Locke?”

“Do you wish to torment me with your questions?” he fired back, looking up at me now with steely eyes. “What good would come of knowing how I felt while you were gone?”

I didn’t respond and kept waiting for his answer. I let his words, filled with that quiet rage, sit heavily in the air around us. He sighed, shaking his head as the seconds ticked on.

“Yes,” he finally answered, defeatedly. “I miss you.”

Not missed.

Miss.

Like it was a feeling he was still enduring.

My heart rattled in my chest. “Locke…”

Say it back.

“No more.” He looked down at Dahlia, his voice gruff. “Sleep, Kali.”

The words escaped me before I could stop them. “Only if you kiss me goodnight.”

His gaze shot back to mine. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Pushing me.”

“You’re angry at me.”

“And you’re smiling .” His face looked lethal as he glared at me.

“Because from the very moment I met you, that’s all you seem to do to me. You push me until I’m all out of options.”

“Yet I still can’t draw you out.” His words were coated in defeat and…something else. “I’ve found you, and you’re still hiding from me.”

“I’m trying, Locke.”

“How so?”

“If I was hiding from you, I wouldn’t ask you to kiss me goodnight.”

He pondered that. His attention to the dog was completely gone. He set Dahlia down on the floor, and I heard her pitter patter to her bed. Locke leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees, his gaze trapped to me. “Just a kiss,” he muttered in question, though it didn’t sound very much like one.

“Just a kiss,” I confirmed.

“Quick or long?”

“What do you think?”

“Well, I don’t know, Kali, because I don’t kiss pretty girls good night.”

My face warmed. “Good kisses tend to be long, Locke.”

“You want a good kiss?”

“Who wants a bad kiss?”

“Little lion, I’m making sure you tell me what you want so I can give it to you straight.”

My lips broke out into a smile. “Give me a long and good , good night kiss.”

In thought, he ran his tongue along his bottom lip while I waited for him to act. My stomach tightened when he stood up and slowly removed his suit jacket. My body came to life, my core waking up at the sight of him in his dress shirt. He raised the sleeves, watching me intently. “Kick off the covers,” he demanded. “I want to feel your little body when I give you this good night kiss.”

The covers were kicked off before he’d even finished the sentence. I didn’t care that I was showing my eagerness, or that my legs were sort of spread. The man made me wet and needy, and he hadn’t even dropped over me.

But then he did.

He slowly moved to the bed and climbed over me.

When his entire body fitted over mine, I felt this click between us. Like we’d fitted ourselves together, and it was the perfect fit. A dangerous thought, but it was honest. He was so big, and I was so little, and I felt protected beneath him. A far cry from the intimidation and fear I’d felt the night he’d taken me. No, this time it was different. This was supposed to be a kiss and nothing more…and I wanted more. Damn it, I did. I didn’t know in what way, but maybe it was one other way, or all ways. My head was too cloudy to know.

Already drunk off Locke, I detached myself from my mind and relaxed beneath him, feeling his warmth and hardness. His hand brushed along my hair, and it was so much more than gentle. His breathing thinned as I ran my hand down his chest, feeling all his hard ridges.

Our eyes locked, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted more light.

“Turn the lamp on.”

He didn’t ask why. He leaned over to the night table and a moment later, the lamp clicked on, casting the room in a pretty, yellow glow. At first glance, his face may have appeared empty to a stranger. But I knew better than to think his pulse wasn’t roaring in his ears. It was the subtle signs. Like the heavy look in his eyes, and the way his lips parted as he stared at mine. His tongue darted out and he ran it along his bottom lip. I watched it, entranced. Hot warmth pooled at the bottom of my belly. If he could just relax his body against the spot between my legs, I’d have come in a heartbeat.

But he didn’t do that. He purposely would leave me hanging. Unless—or until—I begged for my ruin.

He had relinquished a lot of his control and had given me so much power. But I yearned for his lead. When he led, he destroyed me and left me in the most beautiful ruin. He was reluctant to do so now.

I thought about the way we’d left things; how cold and abrupt he behaved yet I still felt his longing. His piercing gazes. His clear fight to resist me when I’d invited him into my bed, when I’d very clearly given him opportunities to touch me.

I surmised I bruised him. The gentleness faded after he felt called back due to my need for him, and not my want.

That was my fault.

I watched him and my heart felt full instead of just heavy. I was beyond tired, but I still ached for him and his naughty touch and his vicious tongue.

I darted out my tongue and ran it along his bottom lip. He froze suddenly, holding his breath as he whipped his eyes open to look at me. He may not have breathed, but my mouth was parted and I let out quick, tiny breaths.

“What are you doing, Kali?” he whispered, conflicted.

“Tasting you,” I whispered back, trying to sound teasing. “Don’t you like it?”

“I like everything about you.” It sounded like a defeated admission. One he had to look away to make.

“Do you like how I feel beneath you?”

“More than anything.”

“Does it feel right?”

“You know it does.”

“I still want to hear it.”

He looked gravely at me. “You want to hear that I love how small you are beneath me? It gives me a sick kick to know I can hold you down with one hand and fuck you while staring into your wicked eyes. I love your tits because they fit perfectly in my hand. I love that little cunt because it’s wet for me, and I fucking feel like a visceral man doing something right to attract someone as precious as you.” My breath thinned as he looked at my mouth. “And your mouth? I love your lips, and that fucking tongue, and the words that spill from your mouth. But you talk too much, Kali. You should stop talking so fucking much.”

His words triggered so much heat in me. I was breathless by the time he paused, waiting for my rebuttal. I simply whispered, “But you’re the one talking, and you don’t have to be talking.”

His eyes hardened on mine. “What should I be doing?”

“I’m still waiting for my kiss.”

My mouth drew his focus once again. He stared at my lips for what felt like eternity. Then he dropped down and kissed me. It was light. A taste. A soft brush of his lips that felt hopelessly good. My body warmed immediately. Every atom in my being was centred on his mouth as it gently touched mine. I parted my mouth further for him, allowing him access to my tongue. I couldn’t help the eagerness as I kissed him a little harder, moaning at the contact our tongues made in that moment.

In the next breath, the kiss deepened, turning ravenous. I gripped his shirt so tight, my knuckles hurt. I pulled him to me, kissing him wildly, my entire being focused on his taste and touch. His broad body came over mine, the weight of him settling over my body as he gripped my chin painfully, devouring me.

I felt his greed.

He groaned into my mouth and my breaths came out ragged. My core turned to hot lava. Sparks and desire clashed, the addictive rush growing painful because I knew what I needed from him.

What I desperately wanted.

“Locke,” I moaned as he kissed around my mouth and jaw, his lips and teeth leaving a wet trail down my throat.

He didn’t respond. He buried his face into my neck, breathing me in as he held me. One hand buried in my hair, and the other gripping my hip. My own were moving all over him. Gripping his hair, trying to pull him back to my mouth. The other squeezed at his shoulder. My legs bucked, desperate to spread open for him.

He breathed harshly against my collarbone, unmoving. “I’m not going to fight you, Kali.”

His words drove away the cloudiness in my head. “Does it look like I’m fighting?”

He breathed in and out for a long while. His body felt tight, like he was trying to restrain himself. “You regretted me before in Blackwater, and you regretted me now.”

My heavy breathing stilled. Shock ripped through me and then sadness at the weight he put into those words, like this very thought had plagued him. “Locke, no.”

He finally pulled away to look down at me. “No, what?”

I shook my head quickly. “I don’t regret you.”

He searched my eyes, and a flash of anger replaced the guilt. “I don’t believe you.”

“Locke…” Words escaped me. I didn’t know what to say without…

He sensed me withdrawing, and he frowned, his anger warring with his anguish. “You hid from me.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t think of me.”

I shook my head again, trying to force the words out as I turned to look away. “I did think about you.”

His hand was back on my chin. He gripped it tightly, forcing my gaze back to his. “How easy it was for you to carry on, while I felt like a gutted pig, bleeding out in another sort of hole.” His lips spread sadly. “I’m used to the blackness, Kali. It doesn’t bother me. What bothers me…” His fingers dug even deeper into my chin as his words came out with a bite. “What bothers me is that I saw a burst of light, and I tasted it, and it felt so fucking good.” His voice dropped, sounding empty. Empty as his gaze as he began to pull away, his final admission searing me in places only Aurora had touched. “I wish I never met you, little lion. Then I wouldn’t have known the light could ever feel so good. Ignorance was my bliss, and you took it from me.”

With that, he climbed off me.

“Tell him to stop.” Aurora appeared at his side, panicking as she looked up at him fitting his suit jacket back on. “Kali, tell him to stop and stay. Chase him!”

I didn’t do any of that.

I shut my eyes, listening as his footsteps faded away.