Lord of Misrule (Below the Salt #8)

Chapter 17

L ife at the castle was nothing without Kit.

Tolin moped through his duties the next day, still hurt that Kit wouldn’t return with him to Blake Castle. What did the girl think she was doing? She couldn’t survive without his help. It would take years for her to rebuild the bakery even with the little help she’d get from the townsfolk. Hell, she didn’t even want him to punish the man who burned her place to the ground. Tolin didn’t understand Kit and he probably never would.

It was late in the day and Tolin was in the armory polishing his sword. His squire usually did this, but he was looking for excuses to stay out of the castle because it only reminded him of Kit and how much he missed her.

“Tolin? Tolin, I am talking to you. What’s the matter with you?”

“Raven?” He looked up to see his sister standing there. Her baby was in her arms and she rocked little Sparrow back and forth. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. Everyone is in the great hall asking about the Lord of Misrule. You are supposed to be entertaining everyone through Twelfth Night. You are not doing a good job at all.”

“I suppose not, but I’m not really in a festive mood.” He continued to polish his sword.

The baby fussed, and Raven talked in a silly manner to the little girl until she quieted down again.

“Did you really have to bring Sparrow up here? The armory is no place for a baby,” he complained, just wanting to be alone. “Damn it, I can’t seem to get this smudge off my sword.”

“My daughter will someday use weapons like I do, so I see no problem introducing her to the armory now,” replied his sister. “Brother, you were never any good at doing a thing for yourself. You are lost without your squire.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking up at her.

“Here, let me show you how to polish a sword. Hold Sparrow for me.” She shoved the baby into his arms before he had a chance to object. Then she grabbed the rag and the sword and sprinkled a little sand on the blade. Then she started rubbing, spitting on the sword and rubbing that too.

“I thought sand was just to get rust off of armor,” he said, sitting there with a baby in his arms. “And did you really have to spit on it?”

“I am a mother. I know little tricks that men do not. Someday you’ll be a father so start paying close attention.”

“We’re nobles, Raven. We have servants to polish our swords. I don’t need to pay attention.”

“Says the man whom I found polishing his own sword.” Raven looked at him and nodded. “I’m not talking about the sword, you fool.” She held it up and he saw it shine. “I am speaking about babies and marriage.”

“What?” he jumped to his feet, startling the baby. Sparrow started to cry and he couldn’t stop her. “Take her, Raven. I cannot get her to settle down.”

Raven smiled, put down the sword, and took back her baby. She had the child calmed in an instant. “It took me nearly eight months with Sparrow, but as you see, I am getting better. You’ll learn in time too. If you ever get married.”

“I haven’t found the right girl I want to marry,” he said, picking up his sword and inspecting it, not wanting to look at his sister.

“Mayhap you have but you are too much of a simpkin to realize it. You are too busy focusing on things that do not matter.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He looked at his reflection in the sword and smiled.

“Like that,” she said with a sniff. “You would rather stare at your own reflection in a sword than spend time with a woman who really cares for you.”

“Raven, if you have something to say then come out and say it and stop wasting my time.”

“Kit Baker is a wonderful woman.”

“Yes, she is.”

“She is talented, smart, and a good mother.”

“I agree.”

“Do you even have any feelings at all for the woman? After all, everyone in the castle knows you bedded her.”

Tolin cringed hearing this. He had hoped to keep his personal life private. But between his brothers and Jarvis, there was no chance of having a secret.

“Of course, I have feelings for Kit. More so than any woman I’ve ever met,” he told Raven.

“Well, you have an odd way of showing it.”

He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“The gossip going around the castle is that you felt sorry for her and that is the only reason you bedded her. Because she deserved a little pleasure in her humdrum, horrible life. How could you do such a thing and then brag about it afterwards? No wonder the poor girl left. I would too, if I were her.” Her baby started crying and she bounced it in her arms.

“That’s why she left?” he said, not knowing this. “God’s teeth. She must think I am some kind of ogre.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“Nay. I only said those things to my brothers and Jarvis because they were making me feel like a loser. I swear, they’re not true.”

“Then mayhap you should try telling that to Kit.”

“My lady, my lord, come quickly.” Jarvis ran up to the door breathing heavily. “She’s writhing in pain and screaming and I don’t know what to do.”

“Jarvis, slow down,” growled Tolin. “Now what the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s the baker’s sister. She is having her baby,” Jarvis blurted out.

“Brenna’s in labor?” Raven’s head popped up. “The midwife needs to be summoned immediately. Have you done that?” asked Raven.

“Well, nay,” said Jarvis with a shrug. “I just came to find the two of you.”

“I’ll get the midwife. Jarvis, go to the stables and tell Oliver that his wife is in labor.” Raven shoved her baby into Tolin’s hands again.

“Wait. Why are you giving me Sparrow?” asked Tolin.

“Because you are not in your right mind so we’ll handle this. You just watch your niece.” She left the room. Jarvis looked over at Tolin and shrugged.

“I’m the one not in my right mind and yet she gives her baby to me?” mumbled Tolin. “Explain that one.”

“Now Lady Raven’s got you playing nursemaid.” Jarvis grinned.

Tolin looked down to the baby in his arms. The little girl looked up at him and smiled. “You are kind of cute,” he said, tapping the baby on the nose. The little girl grabbed his finger and started sucking on it. Unfortunately, this only made him think of Kit and the intimate night they’d spent together. It rattled him in every way possible. He needed to talk to Kit and this time explain to her how he really felt about her. “Take the baby,” he said, pushing the child into Jarvis’ hands.

“Me?” asked Jarvis. “Nay, I have to tell Oliver about his wife.” He gave the baby back.

“I’m your lord, and you will do as I order. I’ll find Oliver.” Sparrow went back the other way again. “Now get the child to the nursemaid and then tell Raven that I have gone to town to bring back Brenna’s sister.”

“You’re going to get Kit?” asked Jarvis, awkwardly holding the child. “I thought she refused to come back with you. How are you going to change her mind?”

“Don’t be addled,” he said. “The girl’s sister is having a baby. She’ll want to be here.”

“Oh, aye. I suppose that will work.” The baby wailed and Jarvis made a face, trying to jostle the baby to make her stop crying. “I’ll never understand why anyone would want one of these,” he mumbled, leaving the room.

“I do,” said Tolin under his breath, knowing exactly what he was going to tell Kit and hoping she would forgive him for being such an ass.

Kit was in the bakery cleaning up the mess when she heard the sound of hoofbeats stopping in front of her store. Willis and some of the men from town were trying to repair some of the walls. They had only a few boards and some hammers and nails. Vivian was still sweeping up the mess with Kit.

“Kit, isn’t that Lord Tolin?” asked Vivian.

Kit looked over and stretched her neck to see. Sure enough, he was there again, probably devising some plan to get her to return to the castle.

“I don’t care,” she said, not bothering to look at him as he entered the door-less store.

“Kit, come quickly,” he called out.

“I told you, I am not coming back to the castle, so stop asking.” She continued to sweep.

“It’s your sister. She’s having her baby.”

“What?” Kit threw down the broom and ran over to him. “Is she all right? When did it start? Has anyone called the midwife?” She untied her apron and threw it to the side.

“She’s fine. I think. It started not long ago and Raven has called the midwife. She and Oliver are there with Brenna. I came to get you because I thought you’d want to be at her side.”

“Yes, of course, I do. Let’s go.” She hurried to the street.

“I also have something else to say,” he added, clearing his throat. He needed to do this while he had the chance.

“What? What is it?” She turned back to him and everyone else listened and watched as well. “Tell me, quickly. We have no time to waste.”

“I—it’s not important,” he said, realizing this wasn’t the time or place to talk to her about his feelings. “Let’s go. Your sister needs you.”

Kit rode in front of Tolin atop his horse, not even caring that he had his arm around her waist. The cold breeze blew her hair up in the air and several times Tolin had to push it out of his face. She couldn’t think about him right now. All that was important was that Brenna make it through this birth easily.

“I’m worried about my sister,” she said aloud.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“How can you sound so unconcerned?” she asked over her shoulder. “Giving birth is a very dangerous thing.”

“I understand,” he agreed.

“How in heaven’s name could you understand?” she bit off, still angry with him for being such a cur. “You think women are only there to play with and for your pleasure.”

“I have a feeling we aren’t talking about Brenna anymore, are we?”

They continued to ride.

“You should have come for me sooner,” Kit scolded. “If anything happens to my sister or her baby, I’ll never forgive myself for not being there.”

“I did come sooner. I was here yesterday unless you’ve forgotten. I came for you but you refused to return.”

“What?” Her head snapped around. “Was Brenna in labor yesterday and you didn’t tell me?”

“Nay, of course not. Kit, I really need to talk to you.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing? Can’t you make this horse go any faster?”

“Mayhap now isn’t the right time to say what I want.”

“If you have something to say, then do so,” she demanded.

“All right, I will. I’m sorry.”

“If you’re apologizing for not coming sooner, I’m not sure I can forgive that.”

“I am asking for forgiveness because I acted like an ass.”

“I agree, but there is nothing we can do about that now. I just hope there are no complications with my sister birthing the baby.”

“This isn’t working.” He slowed the horse and then stopped.

“What are you doing?” she cried. “We are not to the castle yet. Why did you stop?”

“Kit, there is never going to be a good time to talk to you, so I am just going to do it now.”

“Now? My sister is having her baby!”

“Yes, she is. And she is in good hands. This will only take a minute—now please, look at me. I have something I need to say.”

“What is it?” She turned to see him.

“I think you have the wrong idea about...about what we did together.”

“I know you did it out of pity.”

“Nay! That’s not true.”

“Raven told me that Jarvis told her that is what you said.”

“Jarvis,” he growled. “I am going to kill him.”

“Can we go now?”

“Nay, we can’t. I am trying to tell you that I have strong feelings for you, Kit.”

“Yes, I know.”

“You do?”

“Feelings of lust. Glad I could help you out with that.”

“Stop it. I care for you, sweetheart. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone before.”

“Well, you sure have a strange way of showing it.”

“I might have said I bedded you out of pity, but it was only because my brothers were giving me a hard time. I didn’t mean it.”

“Tolin, it doesn’t matter. It’s over, so just forget it.”

“Forget it? Is that what you want?”

“Yes. It is what I want because this is only slowing me down. Now please, I need to get to Brenna.”

“I see. Yes, I suppose that is most important.”

They rode back to the castle without saying another word. Once there, she slipped off the horse before he did, not wanting him to touch her waist to help her dismount.

“Kit, Kit,” called out Oliver, seeing her and running over.

“Oliver, is Brenna all right?” she asked the man.

“I think so. The midwife and Lady Raven are with her but they won’t let me into the room.”

“Of course not. You’re a man. I’ll go to her at once.” Kit ran off, not bothering to look back at Tolin because thinking of making love with him was the last thing she needed in her life right now.