Lost in Embers (Rising From Ash Saga #1)

Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

F or once, it doesn’t seem like there is a mass of people waiting to eat here at Provanas Bistro. I first discovered this place with my mother because she just had to come here for their extensive bar list. They have everything from wine and beer to specialty cocktails that are to die for. The restaurant itself is a small, intimate environment with large flower centerpieces that flow over onto the tables. It’s like an entrancing botanical garden to look at while you eat. The light wooden accent walls are a beautiful contrast and make it more rustic, yet romantic.

Ignoring the looks some people give me, I make sounds and slow dance with myself to pass the time instead of sitting on the light wooden benches that match the interior walls. The excitement boils within me as my eyes set their gaze upon the lit trees that surround the cozy eatery. With the lights being so small and white, it looks as though the stars have found their way to dangle from the fresh pine.

“Ava!” My eyes dart down from the sky, and they shine with happiness as Dino yells to me across the parking lot .

"Dino!" I call back way too loudly, waving my hand in the air towards this tall, sculpted, blond-haired best friend of mine.

“You drove?” he asks, and I smirk.

“I did. And before you start in on me about it, these shoes wouldn’t withstand that walk.”

“Sure. Whatever you say.” He smiles at me and shakes his head, both amused and frustrated with me at the same time. “When we are in Mexico, we are walking off all the drinks, so get yourself ready.”

He really is quite handsome with his elegant walk, like he glides right past everyone with his sea eyes locked on me. Of course, women ogle the beautiful Dino Karlsson, but how could they not? It isn’t until just now that I realize how much I truly have missed him. The closer he gets, the harder it is for me to stand still. Giddy with enthusiasm, I bounce up and down until I can’t take it anymore and route toward him.

Dino leans down and scoops me up into a powerful, tight hug. As he spins me around, I bury my face into his neck, taking in his smell. The hugs never last long enough for me; I could stay like this all night, but he reluctantly puts me down. My feet are back on the ground, and I stare into those bright eyes smiling back at me.

“God, I have missed you.” He smirks while running his hands down my face.

Dino looks me over from head to toe and smiles approvingly. Clearly, he’s a fan of my tight white dress that I slipped on, knowing he would be well-dressed. This dress hugs me in all the right places, and it is a classic look when paired with my black jacket and black stilettos. Once his eyes reach mine again, I grab his face and place two chaste kisses on either cheek. No wonder everyone assumes we are a couple, given our natural affection for each other after knowing one another for so long.

“Shall we?” Even his voice is smooth and debonair, matching his appearance perfectly. He takes my arm in his while I smile up to him from beneath my lashes and let him lead the way into a place he has never been.

Walking arm-in-arm into the dimly lit eatery, he says, “I thought we would be going to Laurel, but this place is not bad.” He shoots me a playful wink.

I couldn’t help but pat myself on the back. I knew he would like it here because it’s exclusive and caters to small crowds.

He’s been that way forever, indulging in fine dining more than dive bars. With all the moves my mother put me through, I'm at least thankful that they led me to Dino. We attended University together in Boston and now find ourselves two hours apart. Somehow, from college to now, he has made it a point to be close to me, no matter where my mother’s wild travels take us.

I squeeze his arm and smile toward him as the hostess graciously shows us to our seat with all too much affection toward Dino. It makes me chuckle. Suddenly, the feeling of those day-dreaming eyes starts to creep up on me, and with every fiber of my being, I push them away, shutting my eyes so tightly a tear springs from the corner.

Ava, you must be cautious of who you trust… My father’s voice startles me, creeping into my vulnerable mind. Just another way he’s an ass, haunting me from the grave with words a normal father would impart. I try to ignore it, but his voice pushes through again, convincing me I need to be committed. Ava, not everyone is your friend, be mindful who you trust .

“Ava, you okay? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry, especially in public?” Dino shoots me a quizzical side eye.

“Just weird allergies I think,” I say, shrugging it off as he pulls out my chair under the beautiful moonlight. If he doesn’t buy it, he’s not showing it, I’m not sure I even buy it myself. There’s something wrong with my brain. We opt for outdoor seating, even though it is a bit chilly. The ambiance out here is better, with fewer people and the same amazing smell of the centerpieces filling my nose. With the heating lamps above us to keep warm, we could sit out here all night and talk while enjoying the scenery.

“So, our trip!” I yell at him in anticipation as soon as he sits down.

He lets out a snicker at my schoolgirl-like tendencies. “Yes!” He tries to squeak his voice and imitate me, but I wince in pain at the embarrassing sound, causing some people to look over at us.

Before we get the chance to dig into our trip, the waitress arrives at our table, ready to take our drink orders. Per his usual gentleman-like self, Dino orders my beverage for me – Disaronno and Coke. He makes ordering wine into some exquisite art form by ordering himself a glass of Domaine Billard Haut Cotes du Beaune Rouge, all with a perfect accent. It seems he can master any language; I often wonder if he’s from another lifetime just from the way he presents himself and speaks. My order is so simple in comparison to his. I should have made it a step easier and just ordered Jameson straight.

A giggle slips out accidentally, and he catches me shaking my head obnoxiously in his direction. “Honestly, I can’t take you anywhere. Daisy could not stop batting her eyelashes at you.” I try to stifle my laughter as he arches his eyebrows in curiosity.

“The waitress, Daisy…” He still looks confused. “She had a name tag. Come on now,” I joke. He’s so handsome and incredibly smart, but sometimes he has his dim-witted moments.

As usual, I don’t drop the subject but intend to make it worse and laugh at myself in the process. “Since all women swoon over you like you are a Greek god, I shall from this moment forward call you Dionysus.” I raise my invisible knighting sword and point it in his direction. “God of wine, or rather the one who speaks of wine and makes the ladies’ panties drop.”

At some point I stopped speaking like a royal and turned into 50 Cent. I know I’m not that funny, but I can’t stop laughing at myself and my ridiculous accents and absolutely atrocious joke. At least he thinks I’m funny.

“Ava, seriously, you are ridiculous.” He shakes his head and places his elbows on the table while holding his two index fingers to his mouth.

The only time he will ever put his elbows on the table is when he makes that exact baffled face. I know he’s trying to hold back a smile, so I blow him a kiss and he cracks at that precise moment the waitress walks back over. Surely, she thinks he’s smiling at her as her brown eyes are locked on his face. She has found her target now and just needs a way to speak to him, which she does by taking our order not once looking at me. Under normal circumstances, I would find it disrespectful, but tonight it’s amusing.

As she departs, I find my opportunity. “I am not ridiculous.” Even as I say it, I have a hard time believing it myself. Dino holds up a finger, mildly scolding me from across the table, and I have to know. “Are you seeing anyone?” I blurt it out, and Daisy is still within earshot. She stops dead in her tracks, but Dino pauses too long, and she leaves to tend other tables.

I’m always intrigued to see if a woman has managed to snatch up his heart yet. As close as our friendship is, we don’t need to be in constant contact every day. Most of the time, we set up monthly dinners and just stay out until three in the morning catching up. That’s what I love so much about our bond, we don’t have to be up each other’s butts to know he has my back no matter what.

I have known him for years, and the only girl he has introduced me to was back in college, but she was a girl not a woman. She was ditzy but seemed to have a good heart. There was nothing wrong with her; she was mesmerizing and captivated a lot of people whenever she was out, but under the surface, it wasn’t enough for Dino. She cared for him very much; unfortunately, the feelings were not mutual, and he broke it off before anything serious could start between them. I swear up and down that he purposely sabotages himself. He could have anyone he wanted as long as he put the effort in.

“I’m not seeing anyone.” He’s short with me, but his perfectly articulated words and neutral accent make it seem less harsh. It’s frustrating that he cannot see how wonderful he is.

“I work a lot, and you know I tried that website findlovetoday, or some shit like that. One date from that site and I deleted it. People just don’t care about love anymore. It’s all about the easy access that these websites provide. No one puts any work in, they walk away and just start scrolling again.” He shakes his head in either disapproval or shame, maybe a combination of both, and he lowers his eyes.

“That bad? I was thinking of joining,” I tease as I play with my long hair that I left down in loose, natural waves. “What happened that made you delete it so quickly?” Curiosity killed the cat, but now he has me prying for information. Dino lets out a loud laugh, and I shoot him a what the heck look.

“I laugh because I can’t see you meeting up with a complete stranger without some supervision. I would be worried, and so would you.” I love that he voices the same thought that rolls around in my mind before I even bring it to light. He always did say that my face tells all and continuously gives me away. Exactly why I cannot play poker.

“When I told her I was an engineer…” He takes a long pause and a bigger gulp of his wine. “She thought I operated a ‘choo-choo’ train. And look, before you say anything about a high horse…”

I spit my drink all over the table and almost start crying in laughter. I cannot contain myself as I throw my head back, ignoring all the people looking at me.

“Hey at least she knows that engineers operate trains in the first place,” I say, trying to defend this girl I don’t even know.

“Do I look like a locomotive engineer?” He gestures his hands over his body.

“Well, no, but that shows you care too much about appearance.” My voice tries to convey a joking tone, but it doesn’t come off that way, and he shoots me a scolding look.

I know how much intelligence means to Dino, and I can picture his jaw on the ground in disbelief. Now she could have very well been a smart girl, but Dino would only choose someone who can keep up with him mentally. Yet, this moment and his discomfort can’t go to waste. I manage to pull out a few train sounds and throw them his away. The dismay on his face is abundant, and those sea-blue eyes glaze over as he becomes lost in laughter with me.

“Satisfied as to why I am no longer online dating?” he quips, and I give him two sturdy thumbs-up in agreement.

He darts his eyes at me, and I know it is my turn, so I drink my beverage as fast as possible and start to choke before I can even switch the subject.

“How’s your dating life, Miss Buchanan? Meet that romantic man you’ve been ever so patiently waiting for? Don’t worry, I will wait until you swallow your drink to answer,” he blurts out, so proud of himself.

I want to argue and tell him I’m not waiting, but am I?

I sigh. “Do dark and mysterious men in my dreams count?” I laugh it off as soon as I say it and keep the ball rolling. “Well, you’re right.” Words that would make any man smile. Dino gestures with his hand for me to continue; now, he’s the one prying for information. “I know I’m a hopeless romantic and I just want to be swept off my feet. I haven’t met that guy yet, or at least I don’t think so. You know how oblivious I am. Maybe…” I shut the idea down before it floats regrettably out of my mouth.

“Ava, nothing is wrong with you at all. Do you understand? Society and the men of this world nowadays suck. Trust me I know; I’m one of them.”

His words are forceful. We always have a way from going from lighthearted to serious in a matter of seconds. I shrug impassively because this is not something I wish to speak of any longer. I hear enough about my dating life, or rather lack thereof, from my mother, and I don’t need it from Dino as well.

He clears his throat and makes sure I look him in the eyes. “You are an amazing woman. You know your self-worth, and there is nothing wrong with that. Plus, men can be greedy assholes. Not all of them, but the ones you have met.”

I laugh, hoping that it will bring this conversation to a stop, but it doesn’t.

“Plus, after Lucas, I don’t blame you for taking so long. He was a dickface. Huge douche. Then of course there was professor what's-his-face.” He states frankly, not knowing the hilarity of his own words.

I know Lucas was not the best person to be with, and no one liked or understood our relationship. He was a learning experience for me, and I still have nightmares of him from time to time. Dino’s eyes now blaze with fury at the mention of his name. So much so that if Lucas were to walk by us right now, Dino would have his head on a platter.

“He was a jerk.” Trying to avoid all curse words seems difficult, but I will manage. “I’m trying to focus on my future and not let the past hold me back. After being alone for a while, it's scary to get into the dating scene. You question yourself a little bit…”

He visibly relaxes now that the talk of Lucas is over, and his eyes fill with a light almost as endearing as his voice. “You have got to be kidding me.” He lets out a small, unmanly giggle. “You are like Mother Teresa. You couldn’t harm a fly. You are good enough. My guess is you still volunteer at hospice and save puppies from the middle of the road.”

I shoot him a small, close-mouthed smile. “I could harm a fly if it was a big fly with a spider attached. I don’t technically save puppies on the road. If there were one, I would without question, but for now I just volunteer at the local ASPCA. So, you will be pleased to know that there is no dodging traffic involved for now.”

Just like the man he is, he references a Dodgeball quote, and we banter back and forth until he runs out of lines before I do. I raise my hands in victory but quickly put them down as Daisy returns to the table. I smile at her empathetically as she glares longingly at Dino while walking with our food. My eyes flick to him, looking at me, and then back to her. She has no idea I’m even looking at her.

I shake my head abruptly because of what I think I just saw. No way did I see that.

No, I definitely did, because it just happened again.

Those eyes, neon yellow, with purple dots in the center.

Her eyes blink in reverse, from the corner inward multiple times, and change to a bright yellow. It happens again, her eyes changing quickly right before my own, and it seems everyone else is in slow motion for an instant. It’s like all day my mind has been playing tricks on me. At one point during my sleep, I could have sworn I was Doctor Doolittle and could talk to animals, or rather that Laila was actually speaking.

“Are you okay?” She asks me when she puts the plates down. Her voice is different, slightly lower than before. A lizard-like, multicolored, scaly tongue slithers out the side of her mouth and licks the corner of her lip as she leans in toward me. I don’t answer before her eyes change back so she can acknowledge Dino. “Hope you enjoy your meal, Ava.” She scowls at me over her shoulder then walks off.

Dino doesn’t notice what I saw. Perhaps I’m imagining things. I was going to suggest to Daisy that she slip her number on the check for him, but not anymore. A cloud of darkness lies beneath her changing eyes, whether I am seeing things or not. The aroma from the food is too alluring for me to keep my focus. As I cut into my lamb shank, I can tell it is cooked to perfection, but perhaps she spit in it? Nothing I can do about it now, and I have no proof as my mouth waters when I put a small bite into my mouth and let out a soft groan of enjoyment.

“Are you eating your food or having sex with it?” Dino shoots me a playful smile as he puts a bite of steak into his mouth seductively.

I roll my eyes at him and lick my lips. Two can play this game. I let out a louder moan as I place the next slice of lamb into my mouth and exaggerate it to last longer, and he nearly chokes on his steak. Not another word is spoken until our plates are completely clear.

Dino stands and buttons his black blazer as he departs to the restroom. He’s dapper as ever, even in jeans, a white T-shirt, and a blazer. I try to grab Daisy’s attention, but she keeps sticking her colorful, nasty tongue out in my direction then walking off. I know I’m not seeing things now when her yellow eyes grow wider and blink faster each time she looks at me. The second someone calls her name or grabs her attention, she’s back to innocent, sweet-faced Daisy.

What the heck is happening? Was there a hallucinogen in the drinks?

“To the nitty-gritty,” I profess like I am captaining a ship and sailing us to the seas, right as Dino sits back down. He shakes his head in amusement and lets out a chuckle he wants to hold back. Sometimes he hates laughing at me and feeding into my absurd behavior, but I am irresistible with my wit.

I dive deeper, trying to restore normalcy after the strangeness of the night. “Shall you and I drive to the airport together? Do you know what time everyone else lands in Mexico? I haven’t checked my phone in a while.” Before he can answer my ramblings, I add with great pleasure, “We are so close, I can barely stand it!”

Sounding ever so jovial, he says, “Yes, we can drive together. I will stay the night with you, and we can leave early in the morning. It will increase your chances of living, because you don’t have to drive or attempt parking.” He continues to mock my poor driving as I sit with my arms crossed, playful toddler-style.

“This will be the best birthday celebration for you as long as you stick that tongue back in your mouth.” He sticks his out to me before he continues. “Shawn, Ryan, and Sofia are going to meet us at the hotel. Their flight lands about two hours after ours, so we will have time to get settled and scope the place out then meet them for drinks or back in our room, up to you.”

An anxious smile crosses my face, and he knows my butt will be at the bar ready for my birthday drink, but he needs to know how grateful I am for him.

“I love you. Everything about you. You are so prepared and such a good planner. What would I do without you?”

“You will never know!” He smiles a boyish grin that lights me up. He always has a game plan and is ready for anything. He even made me put a safety to-go emergency kit in the back of my car, which is not to be removed, of course. It contains everything I would need in case of a devastation or zombie apocalypse—sneakers, extra clothes, flashlight, knife, and canned food, amongst many other things.

“Meh-he-co, here we come!” I beam as I shake my invisible maracas, and the night ends on a high note, until I decide it’s best to open my big fat mouth. “As excited as I am, there’s a strong possibility something might be wrong with me. Not my heart, but my mind.”

“Listen, everyone is their own worst enemy, so your mind plays tricks on you. Whose doesn’t?”

“You have no idea the extent of the loss of my mind,” I shrug, trying not to kill the mood, “I think I am seeing things. Like the waitress, her eyes changed, and I swear she had a lizard tongue or something…” I place my hand firmly on my forehead to stop the oncoming headache.

He’s unfazed. “Look, you aren’t crazy. Just keep it between you and me, for now. I will follow you home. Have a cup of tea to calm your nerves before bed and just relax and think about vacation.”

Once I downed my mother’s infamous tea, Dino was off and on his way home, but not before sharing some hushed words with my mother that I couldn’t make out. My vibe radar is all over the place with people, even Dino, but that’s where it is wrong. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me.

I lie in bed, unable to sleep even with Laila curled up at my side. Perhaps it isn’t my inability to sleep that is the problem, but my fear of these realistic dreams. So as always, I pick up a book and look around my room. I don’t wish to have a vast library that holds every book known to man, but I’d love a small reading nook where I can look out the window and be surrounded by the books that helped me grow or helped me escape a reality of my life that sometimes I feel is not my own.

This book is a little different from my nightly reads; however, I will try anything once. A Million Little Pieces , written by James Frey. I quickly become consumed, reading intently word for word, line for line. I cannot relate to every aspect of the book, yet certain words jump off the page. He talks about his heart falling, and my mind wanders to the dark and dangerously bossy man in my dreams who pulls those feelings to the surface for me.

Those words of his book so encompassed in my mind. Will I ever find someone who cares for me so deeply? Laila raises her head, and I swear she can read my mind. As I slowly drift into sleep, I hope James Frey’s words can keep me safe from myself for just one night. One night of good dreams, of familiar eyes in a happier time. Maybe this time, the man who gazes at me will keep the bomb from crashing down around me.

It was Friedrich Nietzche who said something like, “Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”

I feel myself getting lost in the abyss of the realness of my dreams, and an irrational fear of becoming a monster takes over my every thought multiple times a night.