Lost in Embers (Rising From Ash Saga #1)

Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“ A va, absolutely not. You cannot just pick up and stay with some man.” My mother’s arms are crossed as she stands in the middle of my room as I shuffle around as calmly as possible to make sure she doesn’t have any suspicion. Which is odd because she has been trying to get me to sweep the cobwebs downstairs off with Dino and is absolutely oblivious to my lack of sex life.

“Mom, it is fine. I promise. We are just buddies. Plus, I will be back in plenty of time for the charity event on Saturday morning.” My eyes peer into her, and I swear she looks like she’s about to ask me who will make me tea while I’m gone.

“You’ve only just gotten back from Mexico, and you have been so involved in that class and work, we have hardly had time to catch up!” She raises her voice and eyebrows to me at the same time.

I walk over to her cautiously and place a quick kiss on her cheek, and her touch sends darkness through my veins, something that has never happened before. Laila is with Kieran, parked down the road. Something inside me told me to keep Kieran and my mother apart despite his efforts to try and meet her. He thought it would help. Silly boy, he doesn’t know her very well. Same goes for me with these days; she’s a total wildcard.

“I’m sorry for that, but this work project is further away, and it would just be easier to oversee it from closer and not have to worry about driving two hours in the morning and at night.” My lie smoothly falls off of my tongue. “Would you rather me stay with my boss and all the construction guys in a hotel where they will want to get drinks every day after work or with someone I trust?” And her eyes glaze over with a softness that has been gone since I returned for Mexico, and I know she has bought it.

“You are not made for job sites, but this is your career, and I will not stand in the way of that. If you ever feel like coming home, I’m here. At least let me pack you some of my special tea so you can fix yourself a cup in the morning before work and when you are relaxing in the bath each night.”

I smile and nod, an agreement to her that there is no way I will fulfill. A few pencil skirts and blouses later, and all the other necessities are packed, and I’m on the way out the door and walking down the road in the dark of night It’s best to keep up the ruse with her as though I went to work today anyway.

“So, what are the chances you actually have a place nearby here?” His apartment is cute. It looks exactly like a design website, like he bought the whole staged area. All modern, with pops of color, but without any pictures on the walls or personal items besides clothes. Someone could come snoop through here and know absolutely nothing about him or his personality.

He lets out a chuckle. “Well slim, actually, with the way I grew up and who my mother is. She trained me well, but being attached to her isn’t easy. She always instilled in me a sense of security for my own life, and how to be safe. There are countless of these little apartments and some cottages, in case of emergency. For obvious reasons, I go the apartment route. The police would come if someone tried to break in, and right now, the most important thing for our kind is to remain hidden. For the Grimmers, they won’t cause a human uprising until their numbers are strong enough. So, there is safety in so many ways, you’ll learn. But that little house of yours in the middle of nowhere is not the safest bet Ava. You are a literal sitting duck waiting to be plucked off.”

“Ugh, so I have heard.” I roll my eyes, thinking about Aidan. I leave it at that. Since we aren’t at the stage where I could pry about his family life, not yet, he will tell me more when he’s ready.

“I know that eye roll wasn’t for me.” Kieran’s voice taunts me in a playful way. Being here with him is easy.

I make my way to his bathroom, and as though we have been friends forever, I put my toiletries in there, until a thought hits me. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take over your space. I can make myself scarce if you have a girlfriend or something and she comes over. I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate my stuff all over the place.” A blush spreads from my cheeks to my eyes.

“There is no one… at least not now.” He looks at me, ho peful, and I wonder if maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. “Look Ava, we definitely got off to a rocky start for reasons that are totally selfish on my part, but if you can just leave that in the past, I can. Let’s just hangout as friends for now if that is what you want and get to know each other. No pressure. Plus, I would never kiss someone the way I kissed you if I were attached, I’m better than that.”

No pressure at all minus the one building between the two of us, but what he says stabs me in the heart a little. Aidan and I aren’t anything, but dang it if the way Kieran phrased that didn’t sting me a little. He didn’t do it on purpose.

I regret the words before I even speak them, yet they still roll out. “And what is it that you want?”

He shifts towards me, green eyes locked on green, and his hands skim up the outside of my legs like it comes naturally to him, and my body softens under his touch. “You are endgame, and luckily for you, I’m as patient as they come. I want your lips on mine, every single night. I want it all.” He is intense, sincere, and that passion flares in his eyes for me like he could simply burn just from my touch.

As though he didn’t say the most incredible thing I ever heard, my mouth won't open to respond, and he casually turns and flicks on the TV.

We push the pressure aside to inhale pizza, watch trash television, and make all sorts of deep small talk, and somehow Aidan never once came up, or whoever he was referring to earlier.

He is gentlemanly enough to take the couch and let me have the bed, and for the first time since sleeping in Aidan’s arms in Mexico, I feel at peace and safe, almost as though I’m stronger just being closer to Kieran. Laila curls up at the end of the bed, drifting into a safe sleep, and my heartbeat slows down enough to hear Kieran’s pounding out of his chest, and then his phone vibrates.

“Hey, Kai, what’s up?”

Man I wish my supersonic hearing would click in at any moment so I could overhear what they are talking about. I hate that I don’t know as much as everyone else, but hopefully with some time here with Kieran, that will change and he can enlighten me on the things everyone else seems to skate by without speaking to me.

“She’s here, with me…. No not in the same bed, and if she were I surely wouldn’t be picking up your fucking call…” His chuckle warms my heart as much of the thought of his hands all over me.

“You know she isn’t just any girl, man.” There is a long moment before he speaks again. “It is way more fucking difficult than I thought, having her here, so close not being able to touch her, make her mine, take any trace away of anyone before, but she needs time, dude.”

The way he talks to Kai about his feelings, they are brothers, not just friends.

Laila is still knocked out, not even one ear perked up.

“Imagine fucking forgetting everything? I’d lose my shit. The last thing she needs is me jumping down her throat or trying to jump her bones. She’d probably give me a black eye if I even tried, and she deserves better. My mother is right about that.” The way he has no clue that I wouldn’t even stop him if he tried to touch me is what scares me more than anything.

His mother, she keeps coming up, but all of this seems too intertwined for mere coincidence. At some point, his words trail off as my eyes close and sleep finds me, finally.

“Come on sleepyhead, rise and shine, time for you to pretend like your world isn’t an absolute catastrophe and go to work like a normal person.” Kieran tries to stifle back a laugh.

He smiles down on me, holding out a mug of tea as my eyes squint open. “I’d let you sleep all day, but you are the one who made me promise to get you up. By the way, this is normal tea. That shit your mother gave you smells god-awful, like poison or something.”

“Ugh, five more minutes.” I pull the pillow over my head. The comfort of having the best night’s sleep ever has me craving even more of it, as much as I can get.

“Already took Laila for a walk, and breakfast is on the counter, slacker. Meet you out there. Get your ass moving, Buchanan.” The playfulness in his voice makes me chuckle.

“The way there are better things to make use of in this bed.” Oh shit, shit, double shit. I did not just say that out loud.

“Don’t make it any harder to be just friends with you, please.” He looks like I just gutted him, so I shoot him a sweet smile and wave him off so I can unapologetically throw the sheets off my nude body. A risky move, but in the middle of the night, I woke up burning hot and needed to cool down. He’s too much of a gentleman to just hop into bed with me. I totally didn’t have sweet dreams about what it would be like if he did come to bed though.

The man cooks a delicious breakfast omelet at least. It feels like we have been literally married for years with the ease we have around each other. Even just laughing over breakfast, it’s like all the problems of the world fade with his smile.

“Okay, see you later!” I shuffle through my purse in attempt to get my car keys. Before we made the decision I would be staying here for safety, we dropped my car off here first before heading to my house to drop the bomb on my mother.

“What do you think you are doing?” He crosses his arms across his chest, showing off his toned biceps in a shirt that might be just a tad tight across the chest on him, but he’ll get no complaints from me.

“Driving to work, just as soon as I find my keys.” A rattling sound brings my eyes up to see the keys in his hands and a megawatt smile across his face as he leans against the door frame on his elbow, with his hand running up and down his jawline.

“As my memory serves me, it is my duty to escort you to and from work this week, and that is a service I shall happily provide. Not to mention, there was a fucking tracker in your car.” Laila sits by his side, barking at me, like she’s telling me to listen to him.

“Fine, let’s go then.” A smile crosses my face as he gives serious golden retriever energy just at the idea of taking me to work.

He opens the car door for me, sings along with all the crazy music I love, car dances with me, and even insists on opening the door for me at the office. Day one of this, and I’m embarrassed, but my heart tells me to get used to it, that my embarrassment will not deter him from treating me like a literal queen. Not being around a dark, dangerous, and moody man is a switch for me, but a welcome one .

My boss walks past me, but abruptly stops when he notices me sitting in the car as the door opens.

“Ava! How are you feeling? I heard about your accident. The hospital called me. Are you okay?” He walks closer towards me, but Kieran interjects, not in a dominating asshole way, but he looks for a greenlight from me, and I subtly nod.

“Hey, Mr. Greene. Pleasure to meet you. I’m Kieran.” He extends his hand, and Harrison takes it in kind, just now acknowledging that there is someone here with me. He was so focused on me, he didn’t even notice someone of consequence opening my door.

“Sorry about that. Great to meet you, too. How do you know Ava here?” Not like Mr. Greene to even broach conversation with people within five minutes before the workday begins. Normally he would shoo everyone off to make sure he gets to his morning call on time, but he seems like he has all the time in the world.

“I just wanted to make sure she got to and from work okay. I was with her when the accident happened.” Smooth. No titles, no real answers whatsoever on his part, but also not a single lie was spoken.

“Thanks for bringing me to work, Kieran. I don’t want to be late, my boss is a total stickler about being on time.” I roll my eyes in a joke and let out a little chuckle, and the tension breaks between the men. Why there is even tension there in the first place, I don’t know, but that handshake lasted way longer than it should.

“I’ll pick you up at five o’clock,” he says as he bends down to give me a chaste kiss on the forehead, and a smile touches my eyes. Then, the memory of our lips intertwined in passion invades my mind like a dark shadow creeping in with no boundaries.

I gulp down the memory. “See you then!” A dark smile crosses his eyes, and a smirk reaches his mouth. He knows what lingers in my mind.

“Great meeting you. Look forward to seeing you and getting to know you better at the charity event.” Harrison shoots him a kind smile.

Kieran holds his hand over his heart as though he’s wounded, and not even slightly ashamed. “Sadly, that honor is not mine, even if I wish it was.” And he’s gone. With those long strides, he slides behind the wheel and whips out of here within a second.

“Sorry, I just assumed…” Harrison’s apology doesn’t even sound like an apology, even with the words sorry being spoken.

“It’s fine! How would you have known any different?” I smile and shake my hand to him not to worry about it.

Harrison guides me through the turnstiles with a hand at my lower back, and I need to play up the injury more, to make it make sense that I would miss work. So, I hobble the best I can without it seeming like I need a wheelchair, and it has my boss paying extra attention. The story that makes the most sense is that my clumsy ass got hurt in parkour class, and it is a lie that has been easy enough for me to maintain to everyone. My mother asks what I was doing, parkour or Krav Maga. My coworkers and boss ask what fun plans I had over the weekend, asking the same thing: parkour or Krav Maga. So, this little white lie lines right up into my hobbies.

The day passes by swiftly amidst the banter with everyone coming in to check on me, plus the backlog of work that was missed from yesterday has me up to my ears in tasks that keep me completely occupied. A welcome distraction.

As five o’clock nearly approaches, so do my nerves. My mind is free for a second to think of how crazy all of this is: staying with someone, essentially living with him, without a care in the world. And I lie to myself saying I’m doing it for safety.

A gentle knock on my open door tears my gaze from the computer screen where I pretended to work.

“Oh, hey!” Kieran catches me off guard, but the sight of him just warms my soul.

“Door to door service, Buchanan. Come on. Let’s get dinner. My treat.” Like what does he even do for work? Before I could refuse, he says, “Laila is in the car, might have packed an extra jacket for you so we could sit outside with her,” he smiles bright and tugs at my heart strings.

“One second.” My fingers quickly type a response to an email Harrison sent me over just a few moments ago, and I shut down the computer once the email outbound swoosh sounds. “Ready.”

As I stand, I make sure to pull the pencil skirt down that always seems to ride up when I sit for a while, and my garters are slightly exposed at the top. My eyes seductively flash to Kieran as he takes a deep breathe in and hisses desire under his breath. Our eyes lock, revealing intentions, a driving lure between both of us. Sweet baby Jesus, please let me make it through the week.

The sweet receptionist, Marissa, cannot take her eyes off Kieran as we walk out. Her eyes probably never left him from the second he walked in here, but she was glued to him from the moment he leaned against my doorframe to when we walked to the elevator to go down to the main lobby. She mouths an oh my god to me, like we are best friends. Besides the point that she has never spoken more than two words to me, I have a feeling that is about to change. He turns to take a cautious glance around, something I have come to know is second nature to him. He is super mindful of his surroundings, and she tucks a stray hair behind her ear, lingering on him, hoping for a stolen glance from him that she doesn’t receive. Her lips pout as the elevator door dings and he guides me in without a thought of her.

Kieran thought this dinner through, even with the foresight to make a reservation for us and letting them know to accommodate a dog with a bowl of water underneath our table before we arrived. The best part about being in his presence is feeling like my brain can shut off. I’m not some key to anything, I’m simply Ava. No strings, no previous lives, just me. We ramble on about my day and his day at the training facility before they tear it down. He and Kai wanted to make sure there were no traces of me there, which sure enough, there were, in some hidden security camera that only had an SD card inserted into it to look at photos. It wasn’t a live feed to anywhere in the building. So, whoever set it up would have to come back to look at the footage, and it seems they haven’t checked it since I arrived that first day. Marcus has made himself scarce recently, I’m sure with all of this crap going on, he has bigger fish to fry. That is until right now. He is storming over here, out of the blue.

He hovers over me as much as he can given the railing that blocks off our seating area, “Ava, I have been looking for you everywhere.” Before my mouth can even take a breather, the anger in his voice becomes more hostile, “I even stopped by your house pretending to be an old professor of yours, willing to offer you a job, and some man answered and said you weren’t there and weren’t returning this week.”

“Who is the man that was at my house?” I’m concerned for my mother, even if she is a big girl who can make her own decisions.

Marcus ignores my question, and Kieran bites his tongue as Marcus begins his inquisition. “Where have you been staying?”

I kick Kieran under the table to make sure he doesn’t say anything. Marcus already isn’t fond of us being friends. I don’t need him to take away the one sane person I have in my life. “I’ve been gone for work, and I just got back into town.” Immediately sad with myself that lies are my life right now, it makes me queasy. There shouldn’t be any shame associated with Kieran or fear of someone taking him away from me.

“Ava…” Kieran pops out of his chair and kneels by my side, making sure I don’t cripple over. Lying is really not sitting well with me; it’s actually having a physical effect on me. “Ava, this shit will eat you alive. You have nothing to worry about. I’m here.”

If only Kieran knew. The man who won’t speak two words to me would probably burn the town down if he found out about this, but he can float around NYC doing whatever or whomever he pleases. Maybe that was what the dream was referencing. The aftermath of this.

“What is going on with you two?” Marcus doesn’t seem worried about the throw up that just landed on his shoes and keeps the inquisition going .

“How did you find me anyway?” My head raises, and I bring a napkin to my lips as Kieran hands me my water. A sweet sip hits my lips, clearing the burn in my throat.

“I guess your mind link is somewhat open again.” Oh great, so he heard it from Aidan. “You block Aidan out of the mindlink somehow, it goes on and off.” He points his eyes to Kieran, “It’s you. Whenever you are near her, you affect his ability to see her.”

He darts his eyes to Kieran like he’s the missing piece of that puzzle. He must have used his little special powers he has for me that I don’t seem to have for him, to show where I’m at.

“Well, isn’t that an invasion of privacy? Nice to know he has henchmen to do his bidding…” I have never taken a tone with Marcus before, but this is something else. The tone meant for Aidan hits Marcus. “I’m sorry Marcus, this is just a lot for me to process.”

Before Marcus can even chime in, Kieran steps up to the plate, “Hey, man, listen. We are just trying to enjoy a nice dinner together. I have respect for you on the field, but this isn’t right, and to attack Ava with the third degree... How would you feel if you were out with your lady and someone interrupted in a rude way? I’m asking you nicely to leave.”

Marcus doesn’t say anything, but his eyes burn heat into mine, a warning. We watch him walk away. “Do you have a GPS tracking device in you or something?” Kieran asks.

“I guess something like that. Maybe it isn’t safe for you to let me stay with you…” My eyes look down to my interlocked fingers, but he doesn’t press me for more than what I’m willing to share, same with me and his family.

“There’s no place safer for you right now since you insist on working and I’m here to support you. So, that’s non- negotiable. Now let’s order our food and head home, we can watch a movie.”

He’s picked Dumb and Dumber. Nothing like a good belly laugh before bed. We pause the movie a couple of times to talk about Kai, tell stories of Marcus, and all sorts of stuff, and somehow end up on the lovely topic of sex. Apparently, Marcus has gotten around a lot recently, so much so, one healer left to go to a facility in Europe and was replaced by a lady named Kerri, because the previous one couldn’t stand to see the sight of Marcus anymore.

“Yeah, it’s a shame four healers have left. I guess that’s his type. But Kerri is chill, she just minds her own and does what she needs to do. I respect that.” Kieran throws a piece of popcorn in the air and catches it in his mouth.

“So, what’s your type, Mr. Kilic?” My eyes get big staring at him, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t really have a type to be honest. I could be cheesy and say you. But that’s too soon, right?” He gives me a half smile. “What’s your type?”

A giggle escapes my throat unintended, and he asks, “What’s so funny?”

“Well, I don’t know if we meant a type sexually or like looks wise. If it’s sexually, I never have...so I don’t know. Looks wise, you fit the bill…” But then again so does dark and dangerous. “I guess at the end of the day for me, it’s about who can make me laugh.”

“Wait a minute… you’ve never… wait…” He shakes his head a couple times, and the tone in his voice changes from shock to sincerity. “Why?”

“It just never felt right. My body never craved it until recently, and well…”

Before the sentence even finishes, he leans over and plants a sweet, tender kiss on my lips. My eyes are still closed as I pull away in fear that I’ll see regret on his face like it was a pity kiss or something. But when my eyes open, his intense green eyes search mine.

“Please.” The word is barely audible as it leaves my throat.

Kieran pulls me on top of him. I straddle him in pajama bottoms and one of his T-shirts. His hands caress my face as he pulls me into him for a deeper, more passionate kiss. The flavor of his beer is still cool and lingers on his lips. We get lost in each other, and my hips instinctively grind on him, wanting more. This is the craving I have been searching for. And just like the last time, our tongues search each other like our lives depend on it. My teeth slowly grab his lower lip, nibbling and sucking on it, until the storm stirs in him.

He pulls away, gasping for air, and his mouth turns into a smile against my lips. It fills my heart with just happiness.

“Well, this will be one hell of a week, seeing if we can keep our hands off each other now…” he smiles into me.

The blush creeps over my cheeks, and we get lost in each other again. My hands reach for his hair, tugging him closer to me, and his hands slip up the back of my shirt, touching my bare lower back. The electricity inside of me roars, and sparks fly at his fingertips, conducting with me, not hurting him.

The spark on his hands stops us. “I guess I can’t hurt you. ”

“Mmm.” The sound escapes his lips, wanting more of me.

But now I need to know. “Do you know why?”

Our position doesn’t change, but my hips stop moving as his hands cup my face. “I have my theories. What do you know that you haven’t learned in class?”

He searches my face and comes up blank, just like my knowledge outside of class, “Yeah, people do that to you, don’t they?” He almost looks as though he feels bad for me.

“Do what?” my voice is soft and tender, with my chin between his fingers.

“Tip toe around you.” He brings a sweet kiss to my lips, one that says he’s sorry for the actions of everyone else.

“I guess so.” I feel shame in my lack of knowledge, but there is not a whole lot I can do about it, with the resources I’m given constantly shutting me out.

“Well, I’m here now. What do you want to know?” I go to move off of him, but he moves one hand to my ass keeping me in place, and the feeling of his hand there sends a wave of heat through me. I can feel myself smile at the memory of him lifting me and kissing me outside of the warehouse. My heartbeat quickens, and my breathing starts to catch. Our eyes lock, and I try to calm myself and take advantage of whatever it is he’s willing to give me.

“Head out of the gutter.” He smirks and the mood lightens.

“What do you know about soulmates?”

His eyes glimmer for a second then fade when he realizes the path I’m going down, yet he doesn’t move his body from mine but locks me in closer.

“I can only speak of a shared heart.” His breathing picks up a bit, like he might say the wrong thing, and his mind ruffles around, his wheels turning .

“What is the difference?” My fingers trace up his shirt until they are moving slowly up and down his neck.

“Soulmates were created by the universe to keep a balance. Some say Mother Nature herself helped in their creation. They were predetermined long ago. A shared heart is something entirely different. While soulmates have a universal connection, a shared heart is just that. Two people take a piece of their hearts and give it to the other, as a means of always being connected, always in love, always a pull, one even the universe can’t stop. Sharing a heart requires the beauty of a lost magic that no one alive is capable of today. Beauty of magic and pain.”

His words hit me. He has been through this. He speaks with a shared heart, and I don’t pry for anymore. I take his head in my hands and kiss him tenderly and let him just feel for a moment. Let his heart calm with no words spoken.

“Thank you for giving me that moment, for taking care of me. That is not something I’m accustomed to. I’m the one always on watch.”

The way I want to promise him that I will always take care of him stabs me right in the chest and makes me lose my voice.