Lost in Me (Lost Duet #1)

Chapter Eighteen

Shawn

I slowly walk into the bedroom. There was baby stuff everywhere. She was still trying to figure out where she wanted everything. The shower was still running, telling me she was in her bathrobe, getting ready to take a shower, when Jesse came in.

When I got the call from Ethan, my fucking heart shattered. I got here as soon as I could, but by the time I got here, Jesse and my future wife, the mother of my child, were gone, and all that was left were the dead roses, ring box, and a letter on the bed on top of the new baby clothes.

I take a deep breath, walk over to the bed, and pick up the letter written in red ink. A statement I know Jesse thought through. This guy doesn’t do anything without a meaning behind it. Everything he does is calculated and planned out to the fucking max. I slowly look down at the letter and look at the words he wrote for me. Words I don’t think I will ever ever fucking be able to get out of my head.

“Dove, Dove. You took my Dove and have changed her into your Angel. So it is time you know what it feels like for your Angel to be taken away. Game over, asshole. I win.”

I feel my knees give out. I fall next to the bed. I look up and see dead roses and a ring box staring me in the face. How the fuck didn’t I see this? Of course he was in our fucking house. Of course he fucking was listening and waiting.

It all makes sense now how he just disappeared because he was in our house the whole fucking time. Just waiting for the right moment to fucking strike and take her from me. My heart sinks with the thoughts of what he is doing to her right now and what he has planned. Fuck.

I feel the tears roll down my face as I lean my head back and look up at the ceiling “Fuck!” I scream, letting out the rage and fear inside me. I promised her. I fucking promised her Jesse would never touch her again. I fucking promised her I would kill him, and now my worst nightmare has come true. He has her.

I can hear Ethan coming into the room. He stops at my side. He drops to his knees next to me, and I can feel his hand shaking on my shoulder. I slowly look back at the note in my hand. I read the words over again.

How could I have been so fucking stupid to leave her? I thought she would be safe here. I thought this was the one place he couldn’t get to her, but it turns out it was the one place that got her to lower her guard.

“We will get her back. I promise,” Ethan states with as much confidence as he can at this moment.

I am a fucking monster. Most fear me, most respect me, and I couldn’t stop this. I fucking tried. I thought I was doing everything I could to keep her safe, but I really needed to keep her safe in our own home. Jesse has tainted this fucking place and destroyed the safe haven I tried so hard to create for Emory.

“Yes, we will,” I state, taking a deep breath. I will find him, and when I do, he will be the one fucking screaming and begging.

“I’m sorry, brother,” Ethan states. I can hear the shame in his tone, making my heart sink even more.

I turn my head and look at Ethan. There are tears rolling down his face. His eyes are deadlocked onto me. I see the shame and guilt in his eyes, but it wasn’t his fault. I know why he didn’t react to Jesse. He knew Jesse would hurt Emory. He knew he had to be careful. I don’t blame Ethan for this. It isn’t his fault.

“It’s not your fault, Ethan,” I whisper, continuing to look at him.

“Do you have any idea where he would have taken her?” Ethan asks in a hopeful voice.

My heart sinks as I remember all the information in her file. I have read it a million times in the past seven years. She kept mentioning her parents’ old ranch house and the locked room. If I had to take a gamble, I would say he took her back there. After all, that is where it all went wrong for him. I have never been to Oregon, and Oregon has no fucking idea who I am, but they are about to find out.

“I have a pretty good fucking idea,” I state, slowly standing up and looking down at the dead roses and the ring box on top of my unborn child’s clothing.

Ethan stands next to me, keeping his hand on my shoulder. “Where?” he asks calmly.

“Oregon,” I state softly, turning my head and looking at him.

Ethan takes a deep breath and nods. “Looks like we are going to Oregon.”

“Get the men ready,” I order as calmly as I can.

“How many?” Ethan asks, but he already knows the answer. Jesse wants to see what I am made of. He wants to see how far I will go to get her back. Well, he is about to see that I have a whole fucking army behind me.

“All of them. Call them all. We are going to need them,” I state through gritted teeth.

“Okay, brother. I will handle it,” Ethan states in a calm voice.

“I trust you,” I whisper back.

“I got your back. No matter what happens, I got you,” Ethan states in a reassuring voice. I have no fucking doubts. I know he has my back. He has proven that to me many times over the years.

“I know,” I state softly.

He squeezes my shoulder, turns around, and quickly heads out of the room, leaving me alone in the empty room.

I think it was always going to come down to this. It was always going to come down to her or him, and there is no choice. I will do anything to fucking save her and my unborn child.

She has given me back my heart, and even though right now in this moment it is shattered, I know she can put it back together again. I know I will be okay as long as she is okay.

Jesse wanted to go to war with the Devil. He wanted to make me suffer. He wanted to make sure I felt what he believes he is feeling, but the truth is he has no idea what this feels like. She doesn’t love him. She loves me. She doesn’t want him. She wants me. And I fear that once he learns that, he will take her life and my child’s life.

He has made it clear that he won’t live without her, but he doesn’t know that is also true for me. We are the same when it comes to our reason for living, but we are different with how we are going to keep it.

I don’t know what he has already done to her, but I do know it will be nothing compared to what I am going to do when I get my fucking hands on him.

I tried to give him a way out. I tried to give him the choice of moving on and starting a new life without Emory. He chose to take her. He chose the path of death, and now there is no turning back for him.

I will keep my promise to Emory. To my Fallen Angel. She knows me. She knows I will be coming for her. I just fucking pray I make it in time. I pray she can survive whatever the fuck he is doing to her. I pray my unborn child can survive whatever the fuck he is doing.

I drop the letter on the ground and quickly turn around, leaving the room. I walk down the hallway and out the front door. Ethan and the rest of my men are standing by our cars. They stop talking, turn, and watch me as I make my way down the steps and to the front of my car. Ethan goes to the passenger side, keeping his eyes on me as he opens the door and slides inside, slamming the door.

I look at my men, nod, and watch them make their way to their cars. They know what we are about to do. They knew what I would ask of them, and they chose to come when Ethan called. They know that once we get to Oregon, there is no turning back, and none of us will ever be the same, but I am willing to give my soul and my life if it means I keep my promise to my Fallen Angel. She doesn’t deserve to die in his arms. She doesn’t deserve to die at all, and I will make sure she survives, even if that means I don’t.

I open my car door and slide inside, closing the door and turning on the car. I watch the gates open as I put the car in “drive” and push on the gas. I slowly make my way through the gate and onto the main road, heading toward the freeway that leads to the airport.

Flying is the only way we can make it there. It is faster than driving. That is one good thing about being a millionaire drug dealer—I have my own jet. We don’t have to go through Customs or worry about being checked.

I can only pray we have no problems. I can only pray everything goes in our favor, but one thing I have learned about this life is that nothing is set in stone, anything can happen, and the person I have tried so hard to leave behind is now the person I need to be. It is fucking crazy how things can turn out.

I take a deep breath as I turn onto the freeway. “We will get there in time. We must get there in time,” Ethan states more to himself than to me.

“We will. We have to, brother,” I whisper as my heart starts to race. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel as I look in the mirror and see all the cars following behind me. When we called, they came.

Please, Angel, hold on. I am coming for you. I am coming , I repeat in my mind wishing she could hear me.