Lost in Me (Lost Duet #1)

Chapter Thirty

Shawn

Three Months Later

I stop at the sunroom and see Ethan with the kids. It is crazy to think I am a father to three beautiful children. I never thought in a million years this is how my life would turn out, but here we are, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Ethan turns and looks at me and smiles as he holds my three-month-old son, Sawyer. Even now, he looks more like his mother than me, but I am fine with that. My children will get all their best qualities from their mother.

I slowly make my way down the hallway to our bedroom. I know Emory is in there. She has been waiting for me all day, but things got a little crazy at the center. They need her there just as much as I need her. She is the glue that keeps the center together and the glue that keeps all of us together. It has been a little over three years since we both said our vows and three months since we welcomed our new addition to the family. I honestly sometimes wake up and have to make sure this is all real and isn’t just a dream.

But every morning I wake up, I look to my side and see my gorgeous wife asleep next to me and our newborn son in his crib, and I am reminded that this is my life. That after everything we have been through, we have survived.

I stop in the doorway of our room. The window is open, letting in the summer warmth. Even though it is nighttime, the warmth is all-consuming. I can hear the shower in the bathroom, making me smile.

She knew I would be here. She always knows I will be here. It might take me a little longer, but I never break my promises to her, and I know I will have to make up for today. It was supposed to be just her and I, but things don’t normally go the way we planned, between having three kids and the center and the apartments. Things have been crazy the last few years, but it has been amazing just the same.

I take a deep breath as I walk into the room and start to take off my clothes. There is no need to waste time. I know what I want from her, and I know what she wants from me. We still, after three years, can’t keep our hands off each other, and the evidence shows with us having three kids. We both want two more, but it can wait. She needs to heal, and we all need to adjust to having our new son.

I try to remember what my life was like before Emory and our children, and it is hard to understand why I thought I was happy the way I was living back then. I know now that I was empty inside. I was not a good man, and I was trying to fill the emptiness inside me, but once Emory walked into my life, everything changed. I changed, and I am so grateful for her every fucking day. I almost lost her and our first son to her ex due to his obsession, but in the end, we won, and my wife and firstborn survived. Every day, I am reminded of how much I love them both and how lost and destroyed I would be without them.

Rachel, our little daughter, is beautiful, just like her mother. I make jokes about having to chase the boys away with a gun. Everyone laughs, but my wife and I know I am serious. I will fucking kill any man that touches my daughter. I will be making fucking sure that whoever falls in love with her is worthy of her.

I feel like I am going to go bald when she becomes a teenager. It fucking terrifies me in every way, but I know we will all protect her and remind her every day what love is supposed to be like. So she knows the good from the bad. I will never fucking let what happened to my mother and Emory happen to her.

And I know Emory feels the same way. Our children are our world, but at the end of the day, Emory is still the reason for my life. She is still my reason for breathing, for fighting, for trying. She is my fucking everything, and every day, every week, every month, every year that goes by, I just fall more and more in love with her, if that is even possible.

I completely get naked and make my way to the bathroom door. My wife is feeling the water, waiting for it to get the right temp.

I slowly come up behind her. She doesn’t react. She isn’t afraid. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her against my body. She drops her hands to her sides as I rest my chin on her shoulder. “Hello, Angel,” I whisper softly.

“Hey, baby,” she states softly back, making my heart melt. She is fucking intoxicating.

“I’m sorry I am late,” I state calmly, hearing the guilt in my voice. I should have been here hours ago. I missed helping her make dinner and giving the children a bath. All things I enjoy doing with her as a team because that’s what we are. I want her to know she will never have to do any of this by herself and I will always be here to help.

“It’s okay,” she states softly. She forgives me so fucking easily. She is never angry or mad at me when I get called away. She is understanding and loving. Fuck, man.

“No, it’s not. I will have to make it up to you somehow,” I state in a low, dark voice, wanting her to know my plans without having to say them. I plan on worshipping her in every fucking way. I want to hear her scream and moan my name. I want every single person in this house to know I am hers, and she is mine.

“I can think of a few ways,” she says in a low, dark, seductive voice that springs my dick to life. I was already turned on when I saw her naked, but now having her body against mine and her using that voice, I am already coming undone. This is what she does to me. She can make me fucking fall to my knees with one look, with one touch. I am hers. No begging needed. She doesn’t have to ask permission. She can do whatever the fuck she wants to me.

She takes a deep breath as I release my hold on her, enough for her to turn around in my arms and face me. She lifts her hands and rests them on my chest. She slowly looks up at me. Her eyes lock with mine making my heart fucking stop.

I slowly look down at her, seeing the scars from the knife. For months after she got out of the hospital, she wouldn’t let me touch her or see her naked. She was ashamed. She felt guilty for what Jesse had done.

Over time, I was able to prove to her that she is still gorgeous in my eyes, that when I look at her, I see a survivor, I see my wife, and the scars don’t change the way I look at her or the way I crave and need her. Nothing on this fucking earth could make me change the way I need her, the way I love her.

I lean in and kiss her as I start taking small steps into her, forcing her to back up. She keeps her hands on my chest as I continue to force her to back up until she hits the wall. She opens her mouth wider for me as I reach down and grab her wrists, slowly pulling them up and over her head, planting them firmly against the wall.

Her body melts into mine as I position my legs between hers, forcing her to open them for me. I wrap onto her wrists with my right hand as I lower my left hand and make my way between us. She lifts her left leg positioning it firmly against my waist as I grab onto my dick and place the head at the entrance of her heat.

She keeps her eyes on me as our tongues continue to dance together as the water continues to wash our bodies. I slowly and gently push myself into her. Her heat opening for me. She was fucking made for me.

A moan escapes her lips as she leans her head back, breaking our kiss. I lean down, connecting my lips to her neck as I push in more, her heat wrapping around me, making my heart stop. I push all the way in and release my dick, grabbing tightly onto her left leg, making sure it doesn’t move.

I begin pushing in and out of her, licking her neck, tasting her, losing myself in her. “Shawn,” she moans as I start to pick up my pace. I tighten my grip on her wrists as I shove my face into her neck, not being able to control my own moan.

“I love you,” she whispers, trying to catch her breath.

I pull back from her neck, watching her open her eyes. “I love you more,” I whisper back, leaning in and reconnecting my lips to hers. I just can’t fucking get enough of her. I need her, all of her. All the fucking time.

After a few moments, I pull back and look into her eyes. All I see is love and desire, longing—all the things I never saw in someone’s eyes before.

“Time for child number four?” I whisper softly.

She doesn’t respond. She just leans in. Her body matches the motion of mine, taking my breath away.

I need her now, just like I always have. She is my whole world. My everything. My Fallen Angel.

The End