Lost In The Dark (‘Lost’ #1)

CHAPTER 3

ADDY

I jumped awake at the click of the door opening. I had tried hard to sleep, feeling exhausted, but that peace I wished for, just would not seem to come. There was just so much going through my head. Most of all I was terrified if I allowed myself to sleep fully, the memories of all that had happened to me would come rushing back, and I knew for a fact I was not prepared for what they would contain.

I sat up as I looked to the door, my wrist and right side protesting angrily at the small movement.

“Max?” My head was pounding so hard and it was making my vision fuzzy. I had been warned to expect some severe headaches for a while, due to the hit to the head I had taken, but this took headaches to a whole new level.

“Yes, Addy. I have Asher and Elijah with me too. They just arrived,” he replied.

Asher and Elijah. My half-brother’s. Maybe. It seemed so strange that I wasn’t thinking more about the fact this information had been revealed to me. In my normal, everyday existence, finding out I had two estranged half-brothers would have been a huge bombshell which turned my whole life upside down. But now? Now that I faced murder charges and was being told I had been kidnapped, sex trafficked, sold, and abused – yeah, the brother thing was not quite so major.

“Hey Adeline. I’m Eli…Elijah, but I prefer Eli,” The first guy told me as he came through the door and across the room until he was just a few feet from me. I couldn’t make him out clearly with my blurry vision, but he was tall, and he had dark hair. His voice was soothing and gentle, which put me more at ease.

“And I’m Asher,” The other spoke as he too came into the room, closing the door behind him. He was even taller and wide – so wide. I couldn’t make out details but it was obvious he worked out, because shoulders as wide as his could only be packed with muscle. His hair was lighter, blonde, or light brown maybe, and his voice was deeper, but still kind. “I know this must be quite a shock, us turning up like this. I hope it’s not too much for you.”

“I…no. Th-thank you…for sending Max. F-for helping me,” I stuttered.

“Of course we did. You’re family,” Eli told me. Family? That was a concept I wasn’t sure I had ever really known. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” I lied.

“Addy, be honest with them. They want to help you,” Max scolded gently.

“I…I am better n-now. I was sc-scared before, but it…it’s better now Max is here.”

“And your injuries? Max told us you were in pain?” Asher moved closer and dropped to a crouch before me.

“It’s j-just my wrist, my side, a-and my back…and my head now, I guess,” I shrugged. I was never good with strangers, but now even if I didn’t remember what had happened to me, my body seemed to, because adrenaline was rising within me the closer these two intimidating guys got.

“Your head?”

“Headache…a b-bad one. The doctor told me they would happen until m-my brain repairs itself,” I explained.

“Can we get a doctor in here to check her over?” Asher asked as he got back to his feet and turned to Max. “She obviously needs some care right now.”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to take good care of you, Adeline. We’ll make sure everything is okay,” Eli assured me as Asher and Max continued to chat quietly. He took my good hand in his, and I tried not to react, knowing he was just trying to be kind. “You don’t have to be scared of us. We’re here to protect you. We would never hurt you.” His words sounded so genuine, and they were cemented by the gentle way he held my hand in his. Tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t seem to stop them from falling no matter how hard I tried. Could this be real? Were they really going to help me get out of there? Could they truly protect me? God, how many times in my life had I wished for just one person to care about me?

“Addy,” I whispered as I lifted my head and tried to focus on his face. “C-call me Addy.”

***

The next couple of hours passed quickly. Asher’s demand for a doctor was granted and Max had called a contact who arrived to check me over. He gave me some pain meds, for which I was hugely grateful, and advised Max I needed to rest, preferably in a proper bed. Since that wasn’t possible I had ended up curled up in the hard plastic chair, dozing in and out.

Asher and Eli stayed with me, but they seemed as unsure about the whole thing as I felt, and they didn’t talk much other than to check in with me, and to offer water and food.

As Max had told me, the search warrant for the senator’s house had been signed off by a judge, and the police were in the process of executing it. I wished I could remember what had happened to me, just so I could tell them where to look, but I still didn’t remember a thing, and when I tried my head only throbbed harder.

Eventually the pain meds seemed to ease my headache and my vision cleared as the pain receded. I sat up and looked around. Eli and Asher were sat on chairs opposite me, Eli looking right at me as Asher did something on his cell phone. I had no idea how they had gotten the police to allow them into the room with me, but I was kind of grateful they were there.

I looked to Eli and studied him properly for the first time. He was slim, but clearly in shape. His shoulders were broad and muscular under the sweater he wore.

“Our eyes,” I gasped when I looked into his and found a mirror image of my own.

“I know. It’s weird, huh? We look really alike,” Eli agreed. And he was right – we did. We had the same dark coloring, our hair the exact same shade of dark brown, and our eyes the same emerald green color.

I turned my gaze to Asher, but he didn’t look like me at all. He had a lighter skin tone, and his hair was a dark shade of blonde, cut neatly and styled in place, just so. He glanced up at me and I saw he had light blue eyes that seemed to sparkle. I had been right about how huge he was. Even sitting he was an imposing figure, his whole body sculpted with muscle I could clearly make out beneath the dark t-shirt he wore. His legs were like tree trunks and he was obviously even taller than his brother.

“I look like our mom. Eli took after our dad. We’ve never looked alike,” he explained with a gentle smile that set me at ease a little. There was kindness in his face, even though he seemed way more standoffish than his brother.

“You’re older?” I asked.

“Yeah, by three years. Do I look it?” he asked with a chuckle.

“No! I…I didn’t mean…” I floundered.

“It’s okay, Addy. He’s messing with you,” Eli assured me. A shiver raced through me as the air con seemed to crank even higher in the room, and I pulled Max’s jacket even tighter around me. I knew I should give it back, but I was so cold, and at least it was keeping me covered.

“Are you cold?” Asher asked as he looked to me with concern.

“Yeah. I…I don’t think the police like me very much. I th-think they’re turning that up on purpose,” I said as I pointed to the aircon overhead.

“I’ll speak to someone,” Max said as he stood from where he had been working at the table, and headed out of the room.

“We bought you some clothes before we set off. They’ll probably be too big, but they should be warmer,” Eli offered. He picked up the duffel bag he’d brought with him and pulled out a stack of women’s clothes. He set them on the chair beside me, being careful not to touch me.

“You bought th-these? For me?” I asked emotionally.

“We knew you’d need something to wear. I’m only sorry we bought them too big, but we can get more when we get you out of here, whatever you need,” Eli told me.

I brushed my hand over the soft navy sweater on the top of the pile and fought the emotion clogging my throat. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had bought me anything, or even been so thoughtful.

“Thank you,” I told them gratefully as I looked between them both.

“We’ll leave so you can change. I’ll make sure no one can come in until you’re done, okay?” Asher told me as he got to his feet. I nodded as I looked up at his full height. He really was huge. I was no small fry at 5’7, but he would tower over me. I guessed he was around six and a half feet.

“Will you be okay?” Eli asked as he stood too. He was smaller than his brother, but not by a lot – maybe a few inches. It was hard not to imagine what it would have been like to have hulking brothers like that on my side in school. I had been bullied mercilessly, especially in high school, and not just verbally. Would they have stood up for me if they were in my life? Would they have protected me back then as Eli had promised they would now?

“Addy?” Asher prompted and I looked to him and tried to clear my head of my useless wonderings.

“I’ll be okay,” I agreed.

ELI

“Do you think she’s okay? She was so shaky? Maybe we should check on her,” I worried as we stood outside the door of the room we had spent the last few hours in, waiting for Addy to change.

My heart had broken for her when we walked into that room and saw her for the first time. She had looked tiny curled up, and laid across those two chairs. Then she sat up and she looked so thin and frail. Her face was pale and she shook like a leaf constantly. But there was no doubting who she was. She looked so much like me and like our father.

I had always hated the fact I looked like him, and not like our mom, but now, seeing Addy’s resemblance to me, it didn’t seem so bad to resemble the man I hated, because I had a sister.

It was obvious she had been held captive. She was nothing but skin and bone, dark rings around her eyes, and her hair was long, dull, and unkempt. The abrasions around her wrists and ankles were plain to see, the skin rubbed raw by whatever had held her prisoner. She needed a lot of care and love to deal with not just her physical injuries, but the mental ones I was sure she had been left with, and I wanted to give her that care. She was our family and she had no one else. The file Kane made had said so. Her mom had died nine years ago and there didn’t seem to be any other family.

“I’m sure she’s okay. Just give her a few more minutes,” Asher told me, and I nodded, but I was anxious about leaving her alone. She hadn’t stopped shaking during the hours we had been with her, and she looked so frail and weak. What if she fainted?

“I can’t believe how much she looks like me…and like dad.”

“I know. We’ll still do the DNA tests to be sure, but I think we can be pretty certain of the results.”

“We are going to take care of her, aren’t we? She could come home with us?” I asked.

“It’s not up to us, Eli. It’s Addy’s decision what she wants to do, but yes, we will give her the option to come home with us,” Asher agreed.

“What if she doesn’t want to though? She doesn’t even know us.”

“No matter what she wants to do, we’ll help her. We can make sure she gets home and help her get settled in an apartment. We’ll still check in on her and visit. I know you want her to be in our lives, but it’s just not our decision to make. We can’t push her into anything. She’s been through enough.”

“I know,” I agreed, but I didn’t like it. I wanted Addy to come home with us. I wanted to look after her and I wanted her to be a part of our family. I wanted to know my sister much more than the odd visit across the country when we could manage it.

The door to the room opened a little before I could say anything else, and Addy stuck her head out.

“I’m changed. You c-can come back in,” she told us, even her voice sounding shaky and weakened.

Asher went first and I followed him into the room. Addy looked a little better, dressed in jeans that were at least two sizes too big for her, and a baggy, navy, hooded sweater. She had found something to tie her hair up on top of her head in some kind of knot. She looked warmer and I was happy to see it.

“I couldn’t get shoes because I had no idea about size, but I have socks, and Adam suggested a pair of sliders might work, no matter your size,” I explained as I walked past her and over to my bag. I pulled out a brand new pack of socks and a pair of black sliders.

“Adam?” Addy questioned as she took a seat again. I handed her the socks and shoes.

“Adam is my best friend. He lives with us and helps with the house and estate. We’ve known him and his brother, Jordan, since we were all kids,” Asher explained.

“That’s nice,” she told Asher with a gentle smile.

“Do you have friends, back at home?” I asked.

“Oh…well, there’s Mrs. Withers. She brings me cake sometimes,” she shrugged, looking awkward.

“Can I help you with those?” Asher asked, changing the subject, and pointing to the socks she seemed to be struggling with. Her wrist was in a cast and moving it seemed to cause her a lot of pain. She also winced every time she tried to bend in any way.

“O-okay. Thank you,” she handed him the socks and he made short work of pulling a pair free, then he was on his knees before her, helping her get them on. He took the sliders next and slid them on her feet. They were a few sizes too big, but at least she wasn’t barefoot any longer.

“If you tell me your sizes I can pick up some things that will fit you better, later on,” I offered.

“D-do you th-think I’ll have to stay here…tonight, I mean? I-in a cell?” she asked as her eyes filled with tears.

“We’re going to do everything we can to see that you don’t. I promise you that,” Asher told her as he took her hand and squeezed it.

“I…I’m scared,” she said, her throat obviously tight with emotion. “I’ve n-never even been in trouble and this place…it’s terrifying. I d-don’t belong here.”

“We know, Addy. I’m so sorry this is happening to you,” I told her as I crouched before her, beside my brother.

“We have a lot of contacts, and Max does too. If we can’t have the charges dropped, then we’ll do everything we can to stay with you, or get you bail so you can get out of here, okay? We’re not just going to abandon you,” Asher added.

“We’re never going to abandon you now that we’ve found you. No matter what, we will always be in your life from now on,” I added.

“I can live with that,” she sniffled as she looked to us with a sad smile.

“Sorry I took so long,” Max announced as he came bustling into the room again. “I got an update from the search at Hilton’s house. They’ve found a hidden annex in the basement. As I suspected, there was a BDSM dungeon and proof he has been holding multiple girls down there.”

ADDY

“Oh God,” I gasped as what he was saying sunk in. Had I been in one of those cells? Had the senator – this stand up man the police had been yelling at me about for days – tortured me in that dungeon?

“What does that mean?” Eli asked.

“I’m going to push to have the charges against Addy dropped, but if that fails, I should be able to have her released for now, as the forensics are run on those rooms.”

“W-was I down there?” I asked as I clutched my rolling stomach.

“We need evidence to prove it, but I think you probably were, yes. I’m sorry Addy,” Max told me gently.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I gasped. Instantly Eli was thrusting a trash can before me. Thankfully, it had been changed from when I threw up earlier. The retching started again, and tears poured down my face, but still nothing came up.

What had that senator done to me? How long did he have me? I wanted to remember, and yet I was terrified to. Was knowing worse than not knowing?

“Addy, just breathe now. You’re okay. You’re safe with us. Just breathe,” Asher said. His voice startled me from my thoughts and when I looked up he was beside me, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

I took a gasping breath, not even realizing how much I had lost control until that moment.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I…I’m okay.”

“I need to make some calls. I’ll be close by if you need anything,” Max told us, then he was gone again.

“Here Addy. Try to drink some water,” Eli suggested as he handed me an uncapped bottle.

I took the bottle, but my hand shook too badly to hold it to my lips. Instead I nursed it between my hands and tried hard to take deeper breaths. I had to calm down. Losing all control wasn’t going to change anything that had already happened to me, and I didn’t feel safe enough to lose control in that place, surrounded by police who seemed determined to charge me with murder. I needed to keep my head until I was out of there and some place safe, and to do that I had to stop imagining all of the scenarios that were running through my mind – scenarios of what on earth had happened to me in the last two years.

Except that was so much easier said than done. My brain was in panic mode, fighting to piece together all of the time I had lost, desperate to know every single thing that had happened to me, and terrified to know any of it, at the same time.

Anxiety was no stranger to me. I had my first panic attack when I was twelve years old. My mom had been having a really bad day and lashed out at me, hitting my face, and leaving a dark bruise. I’d spent the day having to lie to teachers about where it had come from, never wanting them to call CPS on me. Then I got home to a stack of letters demanding payment for bills that I had no cash to cover, and it had been the final straw. I had collapsed to the floor, unable to breathe, my fingers and toes tingling and my heart beating so hard I was sure I was having a heart attack.

As the years passed and life got tougher and tougher, anxiety had become a regular issue, but one that I had learned to live with. For the most part I could breathe through anxiety attacks when they came, and remain upright at least.

But now, in that moment, I could feel anxiety crushing me from the inside out as my thoughts spiraled deeper and deeper into darkness. I wanted nothing more than to run to the corner and make myself as small as I could, so I could just let my brain have the melt down it needed. But life had also taught me some very valuable lessons, in very tough ways, and I knew only too well how stupid it would be to let myself crumble in such an unsafe place, surrounded by two guys who I barely knew.

So I forced myself to take some deep breaths and started to silently count in my head – a desperate attempt to slow my whirring mind.

“Addy, is there something we can do to help you right now?” Eli asked gently. I could feel his warm hand on my knee through the denim of my jeans, and I found it a comfort. Asher was still at my side, rubbing his hand up and down my back soothingly, and it helped. They both helped to calm me and ground me back in that room.

“I’m okay,” I replied, a little less breathless now. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“I think, given the situation, you are well within your rights to freak out,” Asher told me, and Eli nodded in agreement.

“You’re doing great, Addy. I’d be freaking out way more if I were where you are right now. You must be so strong,” he added.

I laughed a little through my sniffling. “I’m definitely not,” I assured him. “I’m completely terrified and holding on by a thread right now,” I admitted.

“You’re not alone. We’re right here with you.” Eli gave his hand on my knee a squeeze as he spoke. “I know you don’t know us and have no reason to trust us right now, but please try to believe me when I say we are here for you, through this and for as long as you’ll allow us to be. We’re not going anywhere.”

“You don’t even know if we’re really related. Why would you care so much?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“I think we do know, sweetheart,” Asher spoke up as he crouched beside me and met my eyes. His face had softened and he seemed more relaxed than when he’d first walked in. “There’s no denying the similarities between you, Eli, and our father. The two of you could be twins. You’re definitely our sister.”

I looked to Eli again, and took in his features. I knew Asher was right. I had already been shocked by how very much we looked alike. We really could have been twins. But it was so much to take in. I had brothers – two of them! And they seemed genuinely kind and caring. It was more than I had ever hoped or wished to have in my life when I was growing up alone and struggling to survive.

“What does that mean? I…I never had family really. Just my mom.”

“It means you’re stuck with us now,” Eli laughed.

“It means we’re here for you, in whatever way you’ll allow us to be. We understand if you want nothing to do with us. There’s no denying our father was a complete asshole who abandoned you, and we get it if you hold a grudge because of that,” Asher went on. I glanced to Eli and saw worry on his tense face. I didn’t know him well enough to decipher it, but to me it seemed he was worried I’d reject them. “But if you’ll let us, we’d like to get to know you. If you want to do that from a distance, just getting together in the holidays and such, then we’ll respect that, but we’d really prefer it if you’d come and stay with us for a while. Live with us while you get back on your feet. We’d really like to take care of you. We want to be the big brothers we should always have been allowed to be.”

“I…that sounds really good, and it’s so kind of you, but I have to go home. My house…a-and my job. I have to get back to them,” I floundered. It was hard to find the right words after they had made such a kind, genuine declaration. I wanted them to be in my life. I wanted to know them and to be the sister I should have gotten the chance to be, but I had a life I had worked damn hard to get together, and I couldn’t just abandon it.

I lifted my head and caught a glimpse of the worried look Eli and Asher were sharing.

“What?” I asked. “What is it?”

“God, Addy. I don’t want to add to everything you’re going through, but we have more to tell you,” Eli sighed with real regret.

“Just tell me. I can handle it,” I assured them as I sat up straight and clutched the water bottle even tighter in an attempt to still my shaking hands.

“On the flight here, I got a report from Kane – our head of security. I had asked him to look into your home, knowing you may wish to go back,” Asher began, but he didn’t need to finish. I was so stupid! How could I think my house would just be there as I left it, waiting for me? I had been gone for two years! Two years in which my rent would have gone unpaid. My landlord was an asshole who would have cleared out my place and relisted it as soon as possible.

“My things?” I asked hopefully.

“Kane is still looking into it, but the landlord told him he’d sold what he could to make up for the rent you owed. The rest he threw out. I’m so sorry, Addy.”

Tears filled my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I’d lost everything. Every single item I had worked so very hard to put in my little one bedroom home. It hadn’t been much, but it had all been mine and it had been hard earned.

“And my job?” I asked.

“The library ran out of state funding last year and was closed down. I’m so damned sorry I don’t have better news,” Asher told me, sounding frustrated.

“So I…I literally h-have nothing?” I squeaked as the tears got free and slipped down my cheeks. My whole life was gone! All that I had been left with was two completely blank years, during which I had apparently been trafficked, sold, and abused. God, life really loved to kick me while I was down!

“Not nothing. You have us. I know it doesn’t make up for all you lost, but we’re here and we would really like you to come and stay with us as soon as we get you out of here,” Eli told me, his hand still on my knee, offering comfort.

“Come home with us, Addy. Let us take care of you while we all get to know one another. We can help you work out your plan for the future while you get strong again. We can be here for you, and maybe you could be there for us too. Our lives are about to change drastically with the death of our father, and we could use all the help and support we can get,” Asher added.

What choice did I have? I literally owned nothing. My bank account may still exist, but if it did it would be as empty as it had been the day I was taken. I had no phone, and no one to call even if I did. No car. Not even the clothes on my back were my own. I was a wreck and I knew it, and I also knew it was likely to become much worse when the memories of what I’d been through returned to me – as the doctor had told me they were likely to.

What would I even do if I walked away from these two kind men? A shelter maybe? Live rough on the streets? I wouldn’t last a night. I wasn’t a strong person. I never had been. My mother had ground me down to nothing in the years I had cared for her, and the years since she passed had been lived quietly and privately. I kept myself to myself and never looked for trouble. It was the way I had wanted my life to be, until trouble came and kidnapped me.

“I…I don’t know,” I told them shakily. “How c-can this have all happened?” A sob burst from me, followed by many more. How had my whole life fallen apart and I couldn’t even remember how or why?

I felt large, strong hands around my waist, and then I was in the air. I looked up, startled, and found Asher lifting me into his arms. He sat on the chair I’d been in and settled me in his lap, pulling me against his chest, then resuming the stroking of his hand up and down my back. I felt awkward at first, but I needed the comfort, if I were honest, and in moments I had leant into his front, wrapping myself in his warmth and strength as I fought to get myself together.

“I can only imagine how scared you are right now, but I promise you, Eli and I will take care of you. I promise everything will be okay. We’ll make sure of it,” he told me softly.

“I…I’m so scared,” I whimpered.

“We’re all a little scared right now, Addy. This is all new to us too, and we don’t want to fuck it up,” Eli told me from where he still crouched below me. “But maybe we can work together to find our way through it, huh?”

“Maybe,” I agreed as I looked to him with a very watery, wobbly smile. I knew I had to at least try with the two of them. They were family – something I had longed for so many times. I just hoped they were as genuine and good as they seemed, because I had a feeling I had one hell of a rocky road ahead of me. A road I wasn’t so sure I had the strength to travel alone.