Lost In The Dark (‘Lost’ #1)

CHAPTER 5

ADDY

When the car pulled up outside a huge, brightly lit hotel on the Las Vegas strip, the security from before had appeared to open the doors.

Asher got out first, then I followed, Eli getting out of the other side. It wasn’t until I stood on the street and looked around that panic started to build within me. There were people everywhere and it was so noisy and hectic. I broke out in a cold sweat and my heart started to pound violently, as I found my self filled with fear, which was ridiculous. Sure, it was probably the busiest place I had ever been – that I remembered anyway – since I’d never left the tiny town I grew up in, but that still didn’t explain the overwhelming terror that was consuming me. It was like I couldn’t breathe. A man passing, not paying any attention to anything but his cell in his hand, knocked into me and I completely panicked, running to Asher, and wrapping both of my arms around one of his.

“Addy?” he questioned as he turned to face me. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I don’t know,” I gasped breathlessly. “I’m just scared. There’s s-so many people…a-and so much noise,” I admitted.

“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” he asked gently. I nodded, not caring about what anyone else thought as he gathered me into his arms and huddled my front into his. I just needed to feel safe. He pressed my face to his chest with a hand on the back of my head and I sighed in relief as some of the noise around me was muffled out. “Just try to breathe. I’ve got you now.”

“What’s wrong?” I heard Eli ask.

“The crowds and noise are too much. I should have thought. Can you check us in? I need to get her somewhere quieter,” Asher explained. “I booked the penthouse suite, so we’ll head right up to the top floor.” I stayed hidden as Eli agreed. Asher told the security to stay with Eli, then we were moving.

The noise only got louder as we moved from the heat and into an airconditioned building. I heard the ‘ding’ of an elevator, and the swish of doors opening and closing, then there was a blissful silence. I lifted my head and looked to Asher, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t you dare apologize; you hear me?” he said firmly. “You’ve been through something terrible, and none of us know how that will impact you yet. Whatever happens, you never apologize and you never get embarrassed. We’re here for you, whatever you need, yeah?”

“Okay,” I agreed shakily. “You c-an put me down now. I’m better.”

“You’re also exhausted. Just let me carry you. You can be all strong and independent when you’re feeling better, but for now let us take care of you.”

“Strong and independent?” I scoffed.

“Isn’t that what women are all about nowadays? Showing us men how very little you need us? Ridiculous if you ask me. Everyone needs to lean on the people who care about them sometimes. Doesn’t make them any less.”

“I’m not so good at the strong part anyway,” I told him. “I have the independent part covered though….or at least I did, before.” Now I just felt so weak and broken, and I didn’t even know why really. Fear had hit me again with no real explanation and it terrified me. What had been done to me to make me so fearful and emotional? Was I broken? And If I were, would I ever find a way to fix myself again? It certainly didn’t feel like it as I shook and gasped for breath, clinging to a man I barely knew.

“I have no doubt that you have strength, Addy. I’ve seen it so many times already, but you don’t ever need to cope alone through anything anymore, because no matter where you go, or what you do, Eli and I will always be here for you. If you choose to move away, then all you’ll need to do is call and we’ll be there every time you need us. You have big brothers now, sweetheart, and I have a feeling we’re going to be the overbearing, protective kind.”

“I can live with that,” I assured him as a smile crossed my face.

The elevator opened into a lush looking hallway, lined with gray, paneled walls and plush looking carpets on the floor. Huge flower displays were on two side tables and crystal light fittings hung down from the ceiling. It was beautiful, and way out of my league. It was so obvious to me and to anyone who saw me that I didn’t belong in such a place.

Asher stepped into the hallway and headed to the single door at the end of it. A plaque was on the wall beside it, engraved with ‘Penthouse Suite.’ Even the solid oak, carved door looked fancy.

“What do you want to do when we get in there? Are you hungry? I could order some room service?”

“Maybe something small,” I shrugged. “But I really need to shower, if that’s okay? I…I feel gross.”

“Of course it is. We’ll need to find something to keep your cast dry, though. Eli will think of something,” he assured me.

The elevator doors opened and Eli appeared flanked by the two security guys. He walked over to us and forced a smile, but he was clearly worried and he looked exhausted. He and Asher both did.

“Okay?” he asked as he looked to me.

“Better,” I agreed with a nod.

“We’ll be out here if you need anything, sir,” one of the security guys told Asher, and he just nodded in acknowledgement.

I turned to Eli and watched as he slid the keycard for the room into the lock, then pulled it back out again. I’d never stayed in a hotel or used a key like that, but I’d seen them on television. This was all just so new to me.

The door beeped and Eli pushed the handle to open it, but that was all I saw. It was like something hit me hard, then I wasn’t in the hallway of the hotel, or safe in Asher’s arms any longer.

Pain hit my entire body like a freight train and I felt a hand viciously pulling my hair. I gasped for air, and when I looked up as much as I could, a balding man, with a beer gut and an intimidating stature was over me. He was glistening with sweat, his whole body visible as he loomed over me in only a pair of black briefs.

“I warned you!” he hissed angrily as he leaned so close to my face I could smell his breath - a mix of cigarettes and mint. “Now you’re going to be punished again, you stupid bitch. You never learn, do you?”

I looked around me frantically. Where the hell was I? Who was this man and why did I hurt so much? I glanced down to my body as I was dragged across a rough floor, and realized I was completely naked. My body was purple and black with bruises all over and I was leaving a trail of blood behind me on the concrete floor as I was dragged. It looked like a basement.

Then I heard it. The beep. My heart felt to stop for a beat in my chest, before pounding even harder than it had been before. I didn’t know what the beep meant, but my body did.

“Get in there!” the man above me raged as he lifted me from the floor by my hair and thrust me into what looked like a big dog crate. He slammed the door closed, and again there was that beep. An electronic lock, I realized.

I curled myself as small as I could and backed into the back corner of the cage. It was too small for me to stand up and maybe a meter square on the base, which was also made of cold metal.

“You will learn to obey me, slave,” the man spat. I dared to look up at him, just as he attached some huge clips, connected to wires that led to the wall, to the cage above me. A squeak slipped out of me, my body seeming to know what was coming. Slave? Had he called me ‘slave’?

He looked to me, a sneer of delight on his face as he hit a button on a box on the wall. Blinding pain ripped through me and I could do nothing but scream in inexplicable agony.

“ADDY!” I gasped for breath through the pain as the image seemed to fade from my frazzled mind. My flight or fight instinct kicked in and I rolled over violently, escaping whatever had been holding me and landing hard in a pile on the ground.

The jolt of the hit, as pain roared through my trembling body, seemed to clear the grip fear had on my mind and I looked around and realized I was no longer in that basement or that cage. There was soft carpet beneath me and a sparkling light above me.

“Addy? Can you hear me?” I looked up as Eli dropped to his hands and knees on the floor beside me. His green eyes locked on mine and I remembered exactly where I was. The hotel, with Eli and Asher.

What had just happened? What was that? A memory? It had to be. I whimpered and curled tightly into myself, burying my face against my knees as I realized I was likely right. That man torturing me had to be senator Hilton.

A warm hand brushed against my arm and I cried out as I lifted my head. It was too much. I couldn’t be touched! Not now! Maybe never again! I shuffled back until I hit the wall, then I curled up again and started to rock back and forth. My breaths were short and panicked and I had a feeling of pins and needles in my fingers and toes. I knew I was freaking out, but I couldn’t stop it.

I couldn’t stop replaying every moment of that memory in my mind. What had that monster done to me before? There had been blood and so many bruises. Pain like I had never known! What did he do to me to make me that afraid? Eighteen months! I’d lived eighteen months with that monster!

“Addy? Can you hear me, sweetheart?” I looked up, my whole body vibrating violently. Asher was on his knees before me now, but he had left a clear gap between us and his hands were resting on his thighs, like he wanted me to know where they were. “Hey,” he greeted softly when I met his eyes.

“Ash-er,” I whispered, needing to hear his name to assure myself he was there.

“I’m here, Addy. Can you try to slow your breathing for me?”

“I c-can’t!” I gasped. The panic was just building more and more and I had no idea how to make it stop.

“You can. Do something for me, okay? Look around for me and tell me three things you can see,” he told me.

“What?” I was so confused.

“Please sweetheart. Just trust me,” he pleaded. “Three things you can see?”

I looked around me, not understanding why he wanted me to do this. But I couldn’t say no when he was being so patient.

“Fl-flowers,” I gasped.

“That’s so good. What else?”

I looked above Asher and found Eli stood watching me with so much concern on his face. I hated knowing I was causing that.

“Eli…be-behind you.” Eli smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“That’s good. Take a deep breath and tell me one more thing,” Asher coached calmly.

“Y-you,” I replied. “I s-see you.”

“Keep looking at Eli and me. We’re right here with you, and you’re safe. Stay with us while you tell me three things you hear.”

I tried to listen, but I couldn’t hear anything beyond my own fight to get air in.

“Me…g-gasping,” I told him honestly. “And you…your breathing,” I added.

“One more, Addy,” Asher cajoled.

“I…I d-don’t hear anything else,” I admitted as I looked up to him.

“That’s okay. Can you try to take a deeper breath for me now? Breathe in and hold it for as long as you can?”

I looked to Eli, who nodded encouragingly, then took the breath Asher had asked me to. I couldn’t hold it for more than a second, but when he told me to try again I did. And again, and again, until finally my fight for breath had slowed enough that I could actually get some air in and clear some of the fog in my head.

“I’m s-sorry.”

“No talking yet. Just breathe for us, nice and slowly,” Asher told me.

I took a few minutes to calm down, trying to fight back the thoughts running rampant through my mind. I couldn’t think about the questions I needed answering, or I was going to fall right back down the dark hole Asher had only just dragged me out of.

“That’s so much better, Addy. You’re doing great,” Eli told me as he dropped to a crouch beside his brother.

“I’m sorry,” I tried again as I looked around us. We were still in the hall, the security now waiting by the elevator, giving us some privacy. “I…I think it was the lock…the beep. I….I remembered…It made me remember,” I explained.

“Are you hurt? You threw yourself from my arms before I could stop you,” Asher asked.

“I’m okay.”

“Can I help you up, so we can get out of the hall?” Eli asked. “It’s not warm enough out here. I want to get you inside.”

I looked between them. I still didn’t feel comfortable being touched after what I had just relived, but I trusted them, and God knew I needed the help. I was so exhausted, just holding my head up was a trial.

“Okay,” I nodded. “Just…maybe tell me before y-you t-touch me. The memory…it was b-bad.”

“I’m just going to take your hands and pull you up, okay?” Eli said as Asher got to his feet and stepped back. I nodded and Eli did exactly that, but as soon as I was up, the world around me spun fast and I had to grab for him to remain upright.

“Sorry. Dizzy,” I uttered as I slammed my eyes closed and gripped his shirt.

“What did we say about apologizing?” Asher said.

“Sorry,” I told him, then I laughed a little at how stupid that was.

“Can I pick you up, Addy? You’re barely staying on your feet right now?” Eli asked.

“Okay,” I agreed. I had little choice. I was going down if I released the grip I had on his shirt, and I knew it.

“Addy? You said it was the beep that triggered you? From the lock?” Asher questioned. I nodded; my eyes still clamped closed in an attempt to still the spinning around me. “Take her down by the elevator while I open the door,” Asher added, obviously talking to Eli.

“Cover your ears for me, okay shortcake?” Eli told me gently as we moved down the hallway. I hurried to do just that, not wanting to hear that beep and have it take me right back to that nightmare memory. I didn’t have the strength to see it, or to live it, all over again.

I opened my eyes as we started moving again and realized the hotel room was open. Asher was holding the door for us, the two bags they had with them, held in one of his hands.

“How are you feeling?” Asher asked as I dropped my hands from my ears as we passed him.

“Tired, but calmer,” I tried to reassure him. Eli walked us into the room and I looked around in awe. It was a beautiful room, painted in shades of gray and white. The windows overlooked the strip below and the whole space was open and spacious. There was a spiral staircase off to my right, which I guessed led up to the bedrooms. There was also a little bar and a full, shiny, modern kitchenette. The floors were all a sparkling bright white stone of some kind and the whole room was filled with lavish looking furniture. It was, without doubt, the nicest place I had ever been, in my entire life.

“Tell us what you need, Addy?” Eli asked. I looked up at him and tried for a smile, but I was so exhausted and I knew it fell short.

“Sleep,” I whispered. “I’m just so worn out.” I couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace wash over me at being with the two of them. I had known them for less than twenty four hours, and yet they made me feel so safe.

I knew part of why I was trusting them was the state I was in. I was in pain, more exhausted than I had ever been, and terrified of what came next. I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly or rationally, but all I knew was that I had been terrified since the moment I woke in that hospital, cuffed to a bed and unable to remember a thing that had happened. Eli and Asher – they eased some of that fear and allowed me to take a breath. I needed that and there was no way I was going to listen to the rational side of my brain and let them go. I needed them, probably more than I had ever needed anyone at my side before. My instincts told me I could trust them, and that was all I had to go on.

ASHER

I stood looking down over the strip from the window of the hotel room, a glass of scotch in my hand. I didn’t drink often, not more than a beer anyway, but I needed it. Seeing Addy that way – hearing her screaming as though she were in such agony – it had killed me. Now I was terrified that we were doing the wrong thing bringing her home with us. She was going to need so much help and care if that were just the first of many memories that would return to haunt her and I just wasn’t sure we were capable of giving her that, or of giving her anything she would need. I just didn’t want to fail her. She had already been through so much. How was a fucked up mess like me going to make any of it better for her?

“Ash?” I looked up at my brother as he came down the last few stairs towards me. I had left him to take care of Addy. She had been so shaken and she seemed to relax more with Eli than with me. It made sense. I knew I could be an intimidating fucker on first appearances. Most of the time it worked to my advantage, but I never wanted Addy to be scared of me. I wanted her to be a huge part of our lives in the future and we needed to get off on the right foot. “You okay?” Eli asked me.

“Don’t worry about me.” I waved my hand dismissively. “How’s Addy?”

“Sleeping. She wanted to take a shower, but she was way too exhausted to even try. I washed her face and hands and she managed to brush her teeth, then she just collapsed in the bed. I think she was scared to sleep though. That memory she had has terrified her,” he explained as he got to the bottom of the stairs and headed right for the bar. I watched as he pulled a beer from the mini fridge and popped the cap. He never touched the harder stuff.

“It terrified me too,” I sighed. I moved over to one of the armchairs and flopped down into it. It had been over thirty six hours since either of us slept, but there was no way I was going to try yet. I had a hard enough time dealing with my own nightmares. I just knew they would now be punctuated with the screams of my sister.

“What do you mean?”

“That was just one memory, Eli. There will be many more to come. I’m just worried we won’t be able to take care of her in the way she’s going to need,” I admitted.

“We can, Ash,” Eli told me confidently as he perched on the coffee table opposite me. “What she needs most of all is to be surrounded by people who will care for her, and look after her. We can do that, and not just us. Adam and Jordan will help us too. We can give her a home where she can feel safe and we can protect her.”

“She’s going to need more than that. She’s going to need real, professional help. She was kidnapped and sold, Eli. We can’t even begin to fathom what that could mean – what has been done to her in the years she can’t remember.”

“Then we get her professional help. We can find a therapist who will come to the house if we need to. I know we can’t give her everything she needs alone, but we have the money and resources to get anything we can’t give. Most of all though, I think she just needs to know she’s not alone, and we can definitely give her that, can’t we?”

“Do you feel it too?” I asked as I rubbed at my chest and looked over at him. “Do you feel this insane need to protect her?”

“I do.”

“What is that? We only just met her. We don’t even know anything about her.”

“I think we recognize that she’s blood, that she’s our little sister, and its waking our protective instincts,” Eli reasoned. “She’s so fragile right now too. I think even if she weren’t related to us, we’d feel this need to help her and take care of her. She seems so innocent and sweet. She needs someone at her back, and now she has us.”

“I called Adam while you were upstairs. I’ve asked him to prepare the room between the both of ours for her. It has that big claw foot tub. I think she’ll like that,” I explained.

“Good thinking. We need to get her away from here and back home. I don’t like having the hired security that we don’t know, when she’s with us. I want our guys surrounding her and keeping her safe.” I was shocked to hear that from Eli. He never much worried about practical things like security, but it seemed Addy really was bringing out his protective instincts.

“I spoke with Kane too. He’s going to meet us off of the jet with a security team. I’ve asked him to personally guard Addy when she leaves the house. I don’t trust anyone else with her,” I explained. It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith in the security personnel I had hired. They had been thoroughly vetted and were all highly trained ex-military guys. But Kane was the best of them all, and the only one I felt confident enough about to trust with the safety of my sister. He was also a part of our family, and I knew he’d be the one member of our security who would be in our house and get to know Addy. I had a feeling she was going to need to be able to trust anyone she found herself alone with.

“What did Kane say?”

“That he’d protect her with his life. He understands how important she is to us. He has a little sister of his own,” I explained, and Eli nodded.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” he asked before taking a huge gulp from the beer he was nursing.

“Not for a while, no. She has a lot to deal with, but she won’t be alone. We’ll be with her every step of the way. We’ll get her all of the help she needs and give her plenty of love and support. Eventually, as time passes, I think she’ll find the peace she needs to move forward. There won’t be any quick fixes here though, brother. It’s going to take time,” I told him honestly.

“I have plenty of time,” Eli assured me, and I agreed wholeheartedly. In the space of twenty four hours both of our priorities had changed and Addy now came at the top of our list.

“Lets order some food. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” I suggested, and Eli nodded, but he seemed thoughtful. I guessed it was hard not to be when everything had changed so much in such a short time. We had a sister. Nothing that had happened, or could happen, would change how happy we both were about that. Now we just had to hope we really could be a part of what she needed to get strong and heal.