Love in Slow Motion

4. Quinn

4 QUINN

Oh, my God. What the hell am I doing here?

I pull my car into the huge driveway of the Lynch family’s lake house and turn it off. The lake house is mostly glass and wood, with the shimmer of the lake just beyond it. I’ve always loved the lake house. It’s nicer than any place I’ve ever been in my entire life, the kind of place that has two kitchens and three living rooms, more space than any family has any business needing.

I have so many good memories of this place: nights spent around the fire, late morning breakfasts after walking through the shops the night before, enough hiking trails that it seems unlikely that anyone has ever traveled the same one twice. When all of this is over, it’s not Chase I’ll miss. It’s his family. It’s his family’s houses. Madison has several, and they’re all as big and grand as this place.

As I’m grabbing my bags out of the backseat, the door of the lake house opens, and two women rush out, heading straight for me.

“Quinn!” Madison shouts, the way she always does when she sees me, acting like it’s been a lifetime since the last time we were together. Behind her, Sabrina is moving toward me at a much slower pace, a half-smile on her mouth and a shawl draped lazily over her shoulders as if it isn’t positively balmy outside. But that’s Sabrina, ever the cool one.

When Madison reaches me, she wraps her arms around me, and for a second, I close my eyes and let myself enjoy it. Madison is one of those mothers everybody wants. She asks you about your life and actually cares about the answer; she gives hugs and strokes your hair and pats you on the back gently as she walks by; she protects her kids, even though they’re grown adults who don’t need her to anymore; and she smells like lilacs.

“It’s so good to see you,” she says in my ear, and for some reason, it makes a lump form in my throat. I saw her at Christmas, but at Christmas, I didn’t know about Chase’s affairs. I didn’t know how soon they would be slipping away from me. I fist my hands in the back of Madison’s shirt and squeeze her tight.

“Mom, would you let her go? You’re going to break all her ribs.”

My blood runs cold at the sound of Chase’s voice. Madison does relinquish me, stepping back to hold me at arm’s length, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Chase coming from the side of the house. He’s shirtless, chest glistening, and I focus on keeping my eyes averted. My attraction to Chase was never the issue in this relationship, just his attraction to every other woman in the Boston area and his inability to keep his hands off them.

Madison doesn’t look over at him. She’s still smiling at me. She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and says, “I’m so glad you were okay to drive yourself here. I know it’s a long trip for you, and to do it all alone because of Chase’s little business trip must have been exhausting.”

My eyes shoot to Chase. He holds my gaze. I raise an eyebrow at him. Business trip? He gives the tiniest, almost imperceptible shrug. I guess that was the only excuse he could come up with for why we didn’t drive in together. A week ago, he asked if I would be willing to make the trip together, since everyone would be expecting the happily married couple to be arriving in the same car, but I told him no. It’s bad enough that I have to be here with him. I wasn’t about to deal with him for the entire two-hour drive from Boston on top of it.

“It was no problem,” I tell Madison.

“Right,” she says, linking her arm through mine and turning me toward the house. “Well, we decided to forgo a big dinner since I figured everyone would be too tired to do anything as formal as sitting around the table, but Lydia put out a little charcuterie on the bar, so you just help yourself while you’re unpacking and settling in.”

“Oh, Lydia is here?” I should have seen that one coming. Lydia is Madison’s righthand woman. She cooks and cleans for Madison, on top of anything else she needs her to do. Anytime I would visit Madison’s home in New York, Lydia would hover around like a soldier in chainmail, ready to swoop in and take your trash from you, your bags, your empty plates. And yet somehow, she was always halfway invisible, able to disappear as soon as you turned around.

“Of course,” Madison says, “but don’t worry. She’s agreed to sleep in the basement.”

We approach Sabrina, who smiles at me and reaches out to squeeze my elbow before falling into step with me and her mother. “Don’t put her in the basement,” Sabrina says to her mother. “There’s an empty room upstairs. She might as well take it. You know Reed isn’t going to show.”

I trip over a loose board on the porch and stumble. Madison, her arm still looped through mine, manages to keep me from falling, and when I’ve right myself, I smile reassuringly at her, even though a storm has begun to brew in my stomach. Why did Sabrina say that Reed isn’t going to show? Reed has to show. All of us have to be here in order for Madison to give us the money. That was the agreement.

But I can’t ask. I don’t want Madison to know I’m just here for the money. It’s bad enough that she has to bribe her kids to spend time with her (well, really just Reed and Chase. Sabrina and her mother are inseparable). All the summers Chase and I have spent here at the lake house, even before we were married, were never about the money for me.

We step into the lake house, and the smell of it makes all the stress evaporate from my body. It’s so familiar, like coconut and fresh linen. We step down into the living room and then my eyes meet my favorite sight: the lake. The living room is encased in glass windows, and outside of them, the lake stretches from one side to the other, seemingly never-ending. The sun is low in the sky, casting pink and orange light across the water.

I sigh. “I missed this.”

Madison smiles and unhooks her arm from mine, stepping into the living room and sitting delicately on the white couch.

Chase, now with a t-shirt firmly in place, collapses onto the couch beside her. “It looks exactly the same as it did last year,” he says, dismissively, leaning back and putting his feet up on the glass coffee table.

Madison swats his legs away, and he groans, setting his feet back on the ground. “God forbid your wife appreciate the view that I paid millions for.”

Your wife . Oh, God. It just sank in what this week is going to look like. I have to pretend to be Chase’s wife. In theory, I fully understood what that meant, but now that we’re here, it’s really hitting me. Will we have to kiss? Sit next to each other at every meal? Share a room?

Panic starts to brew in the center of my chest, and I back away from the couch. “I actually think I’m going to go get settled in my room. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Take your time,” Madison says without looking at me.

I turn toward the direction of the hallway, where all but the master and basement bedrooms are, and almost run right into Sabrina. She was standing behind me this whole time. Her eyes scan over my face, and her smile falls a little.

“ Sorry ,” I whisper, moving to go around her. Shit. Well, maybe she’ll think I’m sick or something, and not sick at the idea that I have to be in close proximity for the next week with a man who is supposed to be my loving husband. I think I might puke.

And all for nothing. If Reed doesn’t show up, I won’t even have the money to show for this absolutely brainless endeavor.

I try to walk at a steady pace down the long hallway that houses the three guest bedrooms. I walk straight to the one that I’ve shared with Chase for the last five years. I step inside, shut the door, and lean against it, trying to catch my breath.

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew this was going to be hard.

On the king-sized bed, Chase’s large gray duffel bag is nestled in beside my suitcase that Chase must have carried in. I’m going to have to sleep in that bed every night beside a man who spent a large portion of our marriage having sex with people who weren’t me…while also having sex with me.

A shudder runs through me at the thought. I gave everything I had to that marriage, made sacrifices and looked away from my unhappiness in order to convince myself to stay. And for what?

The door behind me opens, smacking me in the back. I roll my eyes and step out of the way to let Chase in. He shuts the door behind him, and then we stand there, looking at each other.

He smiles. “This is gonna be cozy.”

I grit my teeth and walk over to the bed, opening my suitcase to pull out my things. “I thought you said you talked Reed into coming.”

Chase’s amused expression fades. “I thought I did. When I left his place, he assured me that he would be here. I don’t know what happened.” He walks over to the other side of the bed and jumps on, making the whole mattress bounce. “But that’s Reed for you. Always way more focused on himself than anyone else.”

Anger whips through me. I can’t believe he has the audacity to talk about Reed after everything he’s done. Sure, Reed is a bit of a no-show, and he almost never spends time with his family, even though he lives in Boston, just like us. He never calls, never texts, but that’s his business. He has a busy life, and it’s not like Chase is a perfect family man either. He was trying to call out of this trip too before Madison offered him all that money.

“I’m not staying if he’s not coming.”

Chase sits up, leaning back against the massive wood headboard. “What are you talking about? You have to stay.”

I snort. “No, I don’t. I came here for the money. If Reed doesn’t show, the money doesn’t happen. I’m not just sticking around for a good time. So, if he’s not here by morning, I’m out of here.”

I pull out all of my toiletries and walk into the bathroom to line them up across the counter. Even if I don’t end up staying, I’ll need them in the morning. Behind me, the massive garden tub sparkles, strategically placed in front of the floor-to-ceiling window that looks out on the lake. How many times have Chase and I had sex in that tub? How many times was he finishing inside me just to get out and text one of his many women?

I grab onto the edge of the sink and take a deep breath. I can’t let this anger consume me the entire time I’m here. I’ll never be a believable wife if all I can think about is the cheating. I’ll just have to do my best to put distance between Chase and me when I can. It’s not like we were climbing all over each other in front of the family at our other vacations and holidays. Hand holding, the occasional kiss. Nothing too intimate. I can manage that.

When I walk back into the bedroom, Chase is standing by the window, watching the last dregs of the sunset with his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t turn to look at me when he speaks. “I don’t want you to leave.”

I stop in the middle of the room, watching him.

He finally turns away from the window, and I’m shocked by the genuine sadness in his eyes. He’s kidding, right? All the anger that I just managed to push down comes springing back.

“Chase, what the hell are you doing?”

He takes his hands from his pockets and walks toward me, arms outstretched. “I miss you, Quinn. Big time. Look, we don’t have to do this. We don’t have to go through with the divorce. I can change. I can be faithful?—”

Before his fingertips can graze my skin, I lunge out of his reach. He stumbles, jarred by my sudden movement. He has the audacity to look hurt by my rejection. Carefully keeping my voice low, I walk over to the door, setting my hand on the knob.

“Chase, you admittedly fucked over a dozen women in the course of our short marriage. I’m not convinced you ever loved me. This trip is not some kind of shot at reconciliation. The divorce might not be final yet, but we’re done, and if you come anywhere near me while we’re alone, I will remove every single one of your fingers with a cheese knife.”

I move out into the hallway and let the door fall closed behind me. I center myself before going out into the living room. Madison and Sabrina are still on the couch, speaking quietly amongst themselves, so I wander into the kitchen. The bar is full to bursting with plates of cheese, meats, fruits, and crackers. I’m starving. I slice some gouda with one of the expensive cheese knives I just threatened Chase with and set it on a cracker. If left alone with this charcuterie board long enough, I will eat the entire thing, especially with all of this stress that’s rushing through my body with the force of a tsunami.

“Hello, Mrs. Lynch.”

I almost choke on my gouda. I cover my mouth with my hand so I don’t accidentally spit any food out. “Hi, Lydia. I didn’t see you.”

Lydia, only a few years older than me and absolutely gorgeous, with long dark hair and a perfect smile, sets a small plate beside me that I’m clearly meant to use. If it was anyone else, I would feel chastised, but I know Lydia isn’t trying to be rude. “I’m very glad to see you. Madison was beside herself when she thought no one would be coming for the summer. You know how she looks forward to these trips.”

I swallow my cracker. “I do. It’s just been kind of a busy year, you know?”

Lydia waves me off, stepping around to the other side of the massive marble-topped island. “Of course. And Madison understands that she has four wonderfully busy and successful children. She just misses all of you when you aren’t around.”

Four children. Not three. Four. She’s including me in that count. How am I going to break all of these people’s hearts when the week is over? How long should Chase and I wait after the trip to tell everyone we split up? Will Madison want her money back?

I open my mouth to answer, but Lydia has vanished, off to magically appear somewhere else she’s needed. When I first met Chase, Lydia hadn’t been hired yet, but by the time that first summer here came around, it was like she had always been there, always anticipating everyone’s needs at all times. I wish I could tell her that I’m trying to get through this trip with as little contact with Chase as possible. I bet she could help me manage it. But I also know her loyalty to Madison. She can’t be trusted.

With my little plate full of goodies, I go back to the living room, where now only Madison sits. And as if she was waiting for me, she sighs and stands. “Sabrina has gone to bed,” she tells me. “You know, she had that long flight from Paris. And I’m feeling quite exhausted myself. I think I’m going to turn in early. But please, stay up, enjoy the food, and I’ll see you at breakfast.”

She squeezes my elbow, and then I’m alone, feeling miniscule in the vastness of the house. When I hear Chase moving around, I make a run for it, going out the side door, out to where the giant infinity pool and hot tub are both covered. I can only assume that come morning, Lydia will have unveiled them both.

I take a seat on one of the pool chairs and eat my cheese and crackers. As I watch the last remaining rays of sunlight disappear over the water, I tell myself I can survive this trip if the whole thing is just like this.