Love in Slow Motion

23. Reed

23 REED

Mom and the photographer seem pretty pre-occupied, so I take the chance to walk over to Chase. He’s got his hands tucked into his pockets, staring out at the lake like some kind of old man on a postcard.

“If you keep pushing her, she’s going to leave.”

Chase doesn’t even turn his head. He knew I was still here. He knew I would come over to talk to him. “She’s not going to leave. She needs the money.”

“She doesn’t need it enough to put up with your bullshit. You should play nice. She is.” I take a deep breath, reminding myself to keep my cool. I have to pretend that watching Chase put his hands all over Quinn didn’t make me want to pummel him, that watching him go in for a deeper kiss didn’t make me want to drag him by his hair into the lake and drown him.

Chase scoffs. “I’m being nice.”

“No, you’re being rape-y.”

He turns to me in a huff. “She’s my wife. I hardly think it’s rape-y if I kiss her.”

My eyes shoot over to where Mom and the photographer are still deep in conversation, now slowly walking toward the front of the house, where the photographer’s car is parked. I don’t think Chase is speaking loud enough for them to hear.

Chase doesn’t seem to care. His jaw is tight with anger, and his hands are no longer in his pockets. Instead, they’re curled at his sides. I’ve ruined his perfect little postcard afternoon.

“She’s not your wife anymore, Chase,” I say calmly, and all of his anger seems to dissipate, just like mine has. Chase has already lost Quinn. He’s not going to get her back, not that I necessarily think he wants to. But that display today, her turning her face away and pretending to laugh so that she didn’t have to kiss him? It’s over between them. If it wasn’t clear last night, when she let me put my head between her legs, it’s clear now.

“I need to ask you an honest question.” I try to dig deep and see the brother I’ve always loved and protected. The brother I grew up with, who used to talk to me about things he cared about and take my advice. The brother I once respected and trusted, just like Quinn did. “Why did you cheat on her?” What I really want to ask is, how do you cheat on someone like her? How do you have the perfect person in your grasp and then do the worst thing you can to them?

He looks out at the lake again, takes a deep breath, and lets it out. “You want to paint me out as the bad guy, but it never felt like she really wanted to be there either.”

A shot of anger goes through me again. “You don’t get to blame her.”

He whips his head around to face me. “I’m not blaming her, but we weren’t perfect for a long time.”

“So that means you get to fuck around on her? Just because things weren’t perfect after a few years?” I can’t push down the anger anymore. And I know I started this, but I can’t stop it.

Something seems to burst inside him. “I was fucking around on her the whole time. Since the very beginning.”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, I can tell he regrets them. His shoulders slump and his head falls forward, like it’s too heavy for his neck. Even after everything, I always thought Chase and I would find our way back to each other. Brothers until the end. But I feel the wall go up between us. It’s made of steel, and there’s no breaking it down now.

I can feel him waiting, poised on the edge. “What, you want to yell at me now?”

“Yeah, I do. But I won’t.” All the years I spent keeping my distance, advocating for them and their relationship, thinking he deserved her more than I did. It was all a lie, even more than I thought it was.

He sighs. “I’m not very good at telling myself no. Quinn was hard work, and random women who didn’t want anything more from me than my dick weren’t.”

I intend to put in the work. I’ll work for Quinn until my hands bleed.

I take a step back, nod. “I hope it was worth it.”