Love in Slow Motion

35. Reed

35 REED

“What the hell were you thinking, bringing her here?” I try to keep my voice low because even with a closed door and a long hallway between us and everyone else, I don’t want them to hear. Not because I’m worried I might hurt Amina’s feelings, but because I’m worried about hurting Quinn’s.

Mom crosses her arms and levels me with that look of hers. “You don’t need to speak to me that way.”

I clamp my lips together and take a deep breath. “I think I have every right to be angry with you right now. You invited my ex to come and stay with us.”

She shrugs. “The two of you ended on good terms. I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

I shove my hands into my hair and turn away from her so she doesn’t see me lose my shit. I’m not a hot head. I don’t get this angry at people, especially not at my mom, but she has to be kidding. That woman out there—Amina—is someone I dated my senior year at Suffolk. Someone who was around for a while, all things considered.

But it ended when I realized I was never going to feel about anyone the way I felt about Quinn. It wasn’t so bad at first with Amina. I started seeing her not long after that Thanksgiving when Quinn showed up for the first time, and I figured a relationship would help me forget her.

Except Quinn kept coming around. She kept dating Chase long after I had graduated and Amina had decided that she wanted to live in New York while I wanted to stay in Boston. And seeing as how my feelings for Quinn weren’t going anywhere, it made sense to cut ties. Because I knew I was never going to leave Boston as long as Quinn was there. And maybe I was shooting myself in the foot, but I can hardly care about all that now.

“I stayed in touch with her when she moved to the city.”

A choking sound bursts out of me. “I’m sorry, what? You stayed in touch with my ex-girlfriend ?”

My mother sighs. “You’re coming at this from the wrong angle, Reed. When you broke it off with Amina, she was a newly-minted college graduate moving to New York City. I helped her find a job. I helped her get on her feet. It wasn’t like I was taking her to brunch every other Sunday, okay? So I just need you to calm down.”

Oh, there will be no calming down.

“That’s all fine and dandy, but it doesn’t explain what she’s doing here .”

She nods, like she knows I’ve got a point. She has to know. My mother is a very reasonable woman. She can’t honestly think this is acceptable. “Amina reached out to me because she was in town with a group of friends. They all rented a little place on the other side of the lake, and she knew we were here because of something Sabrina posted online. I invited her for the party, but her friends were going home, so I told her she could stay here.”

I don’t know how to respond to any of this. I don’t have words for how much she crossed the line with this one. So I don’t say anything. I just stand here, hands at my sides, feeling helpless for the way this week has taken a turn. It was already hard enough without throwing my ex into the mix.

When I don’t say anything, she goes on. “You dated five years ago. I didn’t think it would be a problem?—”

“And that’s the only reason you brought her here?” I interrupt.

The silence is heavy in the air. She chews on her lip before saying, “I guess I thought it would be nice if the two of you reconnected.”

“I knew it,” I say, turning away from her. I can’t look at her. But once I’m facing the opposite wall, I realize I’m looking at a picture of Chase and Quinn on their wedding day, smiling at the camera like it’s the best day of their lives. And I guess it should have been, but we all know it wasn’t. I spin back to my mother. “Why me? You didn’t bring anyone here to try and crawl into bed with Sabrina.”

She sighs at my crude suggestion. “I don’t worry about Sabrina the way I worry about you.”

“Oh, that’s great.”

She steps forward, takes me by my upper arms. “I’ve always felt like you needed someone. A companion. You always seem so lonely. Sabrina is always surrounded by people. But you…you just work so much and then you go home to an empty apartment. I just want you to be happy.”

I want to forgive her. I want to sympathize and understand why she’s done this. But all I can think about is the fact that Amina is out there with Quinn, the only person on this planet who actually can make me happy.

So I slide out of the reach of her arms and swallow the disappointed look on her face. She doesn’t get to be disappointed. My whole life, everyone has always been disappointed in me. The famous Madison Lynch made her money by commanding board rooms, not by baking cakes. The same woman who convinced me to open a five-star restaurant because we agreed that it would make me somebody .

I throw open her bedroom door and storm down the hallway. But before I get to the living room, I press my back to the wall and take a deep breath. This isn’t Amina’s fault, and I can’t take it out on her. I have to find my footing before I go in there.