Love Me (The Elites of Cheshire shore #2)

38. Florence

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

florence

F uck, how could a day that started off so well, go to such shit. I recount in my head all the events from this morning, every single surgery I’ve assisted with. All the people I’ve been in charge of, and I come up empty. Every single procedure went as textbook as can be. No one suffered from as much as an elevated heart rate, so why the fuck am I sitting here in a meeting with Dr. Moore and other members from the hospital board.

I continue to deliver each of these members my calm, confident stare, but my nails bite into the palms of my hands from where they sit clasped on my lap. I will not show them an ounce of my uncertainty. The door swings open, and all eyes move over my shoulder as the last person walks into the room and fills the empty chair beside Dr. Moore. My eyes widen when I watch my mom take a seat.

Shit.

A bead of sweat cascades down my neck, and I swallow the nervous lump in my throat.

“Now that we’re all here, let us proceed.” The leery smile on Dick’s lips makes the skin on my fingers itch. I really want to punch that smile off his stupid face and maybe crush his nose in the process.

“Yes, I would like to know why I am sitting here,” I reply. “I still have a few hours left of my shift.”

See the color between the lines . I so badly want to hold my dad’s medallion, but it is still safely tucked away in the cup of my bra.

“You’re here, Miss Liu-Savino, because of the issue you experienced in surgery. You displayed a lack of knowledge, which led to a patient not being accurately anesthetized and the surgery schedule being thrown off.”

I rear back, my cheek stinging with the pain of the ghost of his biting touch, like he’d leaned across the table and slapped me across the face. “I’m sorry?” I wheeze, not quite believing what is transpiring.

Dr. Dick doesn’t let my input faulter him. “Due to your inexperience and lack of knowledge, your patient suffered. How do you explain yourself for this?”

“Pretty fucking simply, if I’m honest.”

“Florence,” my mom chides, but it does nothing to stop the blood from boiling under my veins.

“This patient you’re referring to did indeed take longer to anesthetize. However, the correct dose was administered, the intervention performed happened while the patient could not feel anything.”

“Ye—” Dr. Dick tries to interrupt me, but I hold a hand up. I’m done with staying quiet and letting him push me around.

“Nope. My turn. I believe the rest of the members here are looking for a reason to understand why this meeting has been called, and how this reflects on me and my ability to perform my job. And since you were not in the operating room. I believe this is my time to tell my truth.” I make sure to eye every single person sitting on the table opposite me. “As a training doctor, I followed protocol when my patient did not respond to the administered dose and called my supervising doctor. At which point, Dr. Moore’s advice to me was that I needed to revisit medical school. The patient was successfully anesthetized after she informed me of a medical condition that she did not disclose on her forms and resulted in her ability to metabolize anesthetics faster.”

My mom continues to write notes down in her binder, her expressionless face not giving anything away, but the stern expressions on the three other members create a pit in my stomach.

“This is all very interesting, however, the report written against you is very serious,” the man sitting on Dr. Dick’s left pipes up. “While we investigate this further, we are going to have to put you on probation. You are no longer permitted to participate in surgeries until we come to a conclusion on your place here.”

Something inside me shatters. A high-pitched ringing sounds in my head, and I can’t hear anything else after no longer permitted . I manage to keep my tears at bay—I will not let them see me cry. I will not let them see how much this hurts me.

A victory grin splits Dr. Dick’s lips as he slings back in his chair.

“Do you have anything else to add, Dara?” Dr. Dick swings his gaze to my mom.

My mom places her pen down on the page before she looks up, directly at me, ignoring Dr. Dick. “There is quite a lot to consider here, but we will follow through. For now, we must go through with the probation until it’s deemed unnecessary.”

I bite my tongue so hard, the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth. I know what she is saying with that look. She wants me to be professional and remain as diplomatic as possible, but this whole situation fucking sucks. I school my feature as Dr. Dick and his sidekick stand, following the rest of the members as they exit the room, leaving me and my mom to our tense silence.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” The air in the room has become so thick it almost suffocates me. I blink away the misty sheen that is covering my eyes. I will not let that asshole break me.

“I—” My voice cracks and I instantly hate myself for showing my pain. “I didn’t want to look like a snitch going to tell on other staff members to her mother.”

And what’s worse, Mom sits on the board; she backs Dr. Dick in this whole witch hunt.

“It’s already hard enough working in a hospital where your dad’s presence is so huge and your mother sits on the board. I just wanted to prove I’m here because I deserve to be here, not because my familial connections got me here.”

Mom pulls a tissue from her pocket. “I think this situation is slightly different, Qīn ái de . It’s very clear from the subpar evidence provided that you aren’t at fault. You’re still learning, and it’s your job to ask questions and seek answers. How long has Dr. Moore been targeting you, Flo?” My gaze jumps up to my mother. She holds out the tissue, her jaw is tight, but her eyes are soft on me.

“A while.” I take the tissue from her and wipe my nose.

“You should have come to me sooner; I hate that you thought you needed to deal with this asshole alone.”

“Trust me, Rome told me too. I just wanted to handle this myself, you know. Most of the time bullies like Dick will eventually move on and find new people to pick on.”

She sits back in her seat, running her hand over her forehead. “I’m going to put you on orthopedics. It will allow you some space from Dr. Moore and still offer you growth with your training and experience. You have worked your ass off to be here, you earned your spot. I’m not going to bow down to a man who is suffering from a bruised ego because he got his feelings hurt three decades ago. You deserve this, Florence. Your dad and I didn’t push you in this path, you forged ahead on your own.”

“Am I going to lose my position at the hospital?”

I didn’t think Dr. Dick’s vendetta against my dad would lead to me questioning whether I would be able to practice medicine anymore.

My mom’s lips thin, like she, too, is thinking along the same lines. “No. You didn’t lose a patient due to your technique. And no one has raised any complaints. Don’t worry, let Dickhead go on his witch hunt. In the meantime, just stick to ortho, I’ll put in a favor for that one. Don’t worry.” Mom stands and crosses to me. In an instant, she pulls me into her chest, and I let the tears fall freely.

“Mom,” I pull away after a few minutes, wiping the wet tear tracks on my cheeks. “You had really shitty taste in men before you met Dad.”

Mom cracks a smile; it makes her breathtaking and decades younger. She doesn’t really smile since Dad died. But fuck, is she stunning when she smiles. “I know, it’s why your father is irreplaceable.” That familiar pain flashes in her eyes, but she holds her smile…for me.

She rests her head against mine, helping me to wipe my cheeks. My goal of specializing in thoracic anesthesiology is starting to feel like a fever dream.

“You know, I’ve been calling him Dr. Dick, but I’m totally going to be using Dr. Dickhead from now on.”

This elicits a deep laugh from Mom, and I happily join. But I guess that will mean Dr. Calloway and I are going to be seeing a lot more of each other.

What a crummy day. No, it was more like crum-tastic with a sprinkle of crum-balls and a hefty helping of crum-sauce on top. I’ve just finished the longest shift, with two really complicated surgeries, oh, and I’ve officially been put on probation—love that for me. And my status as a resident doctor is now in serious question. The only good thing to come from today is, for the foreseeable future, I am going to be working with Dr. Archer Calloway in orthopedics. My mind is exhausted, but I’m not ready to go home and be alone with all my thoughts and feelings. I need a night to forget about all of the stress. I don’t want to spring this all on Rome either. He might want to be in a relationship with me, but I don’t think I’m ready to show him everything lurking behind my walls. How could he love me if he knows I’m a giant failure? I slump back into the driver’s seat of the rental car I finally received in place of mine and dial Sof’s number.

“Go for Sof,” she answers on the second ring.

“Hey, Sof, I’m really needing a girls’ night, are you free?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice. Let me circle in the others.” The line goes quiet as Sof group calls Livvy and Devin.

“Hey, gal pals,” Livvy answers.

“Get your drinking pants on, we’re going out,” I all but shout as I swing my car out of the parking lot and straight into the thick Cheshire Shore traffic. I don’t want to face Rome right now. For so long he’s been telling me to do something about Dr. Moore, to talk to my mom. I told him I would handle it, instead it has spiraled out of control. I don’t want to admit to him that I have no way of fixing it. I feel as though I have failed. This is my career and I don’t want to be the girl who Rome feels he needs to swoop in and save because I’m unable to save myself. That isn’t me. So I took the cheat’s way out and sent him a message, letting him know I’m going for a girls’ night out. His reply was quick. A simple, Enjoy yourself.

We ended up at Club Trix. Even though it isn’t anywhere as busy as on a Saturday night, there is still a decent enough crowd. We make our way to the booth we’ve so affectionately dubbed “Ryder’s Booth.”

“Make sure you message Devin and Sof,” I yell to be heard over the music to Livvy, who nods her response. Sof and Devin were still held up at Glam Co.—some kind of shoot emergency for the new product launch.

“Are you sure you don’t want to consider a career change?” Kendall says the moment we sit down on the plush leather couch. On our way here, I’d given them an abridged version of what had happened, and while they were both so angry with Dr. Dick for being such a, well, dick, they were super supportive of me in my pity party.

“After today, I think I might have to,” I grunt, taking a generous sip from my vodka soda. It’s the most basic drink, but tonight, as long as it’s alcoholic, I don’t give a shit. I need to forget.

Livvy places a warm hand on my knee. “It will all be all right.”

I give her a watery smile. “Thanks, guys,” I say and take another sip from my drink.

An hour later, I’m on my fourth vodka and buzzed but nowhere near drunk enough, and I’m about to hit the blubbery stage. Close to a decade of my life I’ve dedicated to becoming a doctor with the hope of matching with the anesthetics program at Cheshire Shore Hospital, only to have that all thrown into question because a department head has decided he feels threatened by me. Seriously?

“I can’t believe Dr. Dickwad thinks he’s going to get away with this.” Kendall shakes her head. He doesn’t just think he can, he’s done everything in his power to be able to. And I’m still the young doctor trying to cut their teeth in the industry. No one is going to take me seriously now. I’ve spent my whole career trying to step out of my parents’ shadows to show the world I’m not just another Savino or Liu, that I went into medicine because I wanted to, not because it’s what my parents wanted for me.

“I honestly didn’t think he would stoop this low, but yet here we are.” I wave my hand around me, my gaze focusing on a particularly well-worn spot in the carpet beneath my feet. I breathe through the sting in my throat, making my nose itch.

“Oh, hunny, I hate so much that this is happening to you.” Livvy dots my cheek with a kiss, and I find I can’t hold the floodgates closed anymore.

Me too. Me too.

“What kind of cheer-up party is this? You guys make terrible cheerleaders.” Sof’s booted feet step between mine and right on the well-worn spot I’d been fixed on.

“They really do.” My voice is scratchy, like it’s been overused, when it’s actually hardly been used at all. Sof knocks Kendall and Livvy off me and lifts me to my feet.

“Girlfriend, dry these tears, Dr. Dickface doesn’t deserve them. Besides, you sitting here wallowing in self-pity is what he wants. The moment your mom investigates the issue, he is going to be left seriously red faced. So, stop acting like you’ve done something wrong, and celebrate the fact that you are a kick-ass doctor, an amazing woman and you have a hot as sin man chasing after you who thinks you hung the moon and the stars.”

That makes me laugh. She’s right; why am I having a pity party for myself? If Florence Liu-Savino does anything, throwing herself pity parties is not one of them.

“And that is how you cheer a person up.” Devin snorts.

“So, I’ve had to invest in earmuffs, thanks for that one,” Sof mutters, changing the conversation.

“Oh, now this I want to hear.” Devin laughs.

“That was you?” Livvy clicks her fingers.

“Sorry.” Awkward doesn’t even cover how I feel right now. But it’s much better than what I was feeling a couple of seconds ago.

“So does that mean you and Rome are official?” Livvy asks, both her eyebrows raised.

The heat of everyone’s stares on me makes my cheeks heat. “I have no clue.” We haven’t really spoken about it. But if our little deal still stands, then I guess it means we’re more? Fuck. I don’t even know, and with the rate my life is currently imploding thinking about Rome shouldn’t be a priority. Or should it?