Love Me Reckless (Love Me Dangerous #2)

Chapter 4

Chapter Four

SAWYER

Kirilee looks away, her cheeks flushing with what looks like shame.

“Shit, sorry,” I say, cursing at my complete lack of tact. Maybe I want her to tell me what’s going on with douche date so I can help her break things off with him. Because she can’t stay with someone who treats her like this, let alone… fucking marry him.

She straightens. “It’s okay.”

I stare. “It is so totally not okay.”

Her shoulders tighten and release in an exaggerated shrug. Like she’s unable to agree with me, even though she knows she should.

“So, are you going to break up with him?” I ask.

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “No.”

Leaning back on my hands, I lock eyes with her. “You told Darcy you’re running from your future. Is he part of that equation?”

“There are certain things my family expects, and marrying someone they think is a good match is part of that.”

“So pick someone else, for fuck’s sake. Aspen can’t be the only suitable person in the universe.”

Her laugh is so sweet and pure, like a song .

“It’s Birch, silly. And he’s the third one,” Kirilee says. “I can’t put them off any longer.”

“Why not?” What the fuck does she mean by third ? “And who is ‘them?’”

“My parents, but Birch too. He’s completely overhauled his family’s resort properties throughout Europe to be carbon-neutral certified in just four years. He can bring Finn River Ranch’s energy needs and emissions into balance, and we need that. He and my father are well-matched.”

“So why don’t the two of them get married?” I splash her with my fingertips.

She rewards me with another smile. “My parents want to retire, but not until they know the company’s safe, and I’m safe. My brother can’t bring Finn River Ranch into the future alone. They need Birch.” She gives me a shy but serious glance through her long lashes.

“They don’t trust you.”

Her pretty face tenses. “In some ways, yes. In others, no. I mean, I honestly don’t know how to run the business, and I don’t exactly want to.”

I’m done with talking about douche date. “What do you want?”

Her mouth is half-open, like I’ve caught her in the middle of a thought. “Um, what?”

I lower into the water, the heat like a wave of thorns on my skin, and settle on the bench seat. “If you didn’t have this business partnership thing breathing down your neck, what would you want?”

She gazes up at the stars, giving me a private moment to take her in. The delicate arch of her neck, her ivory skin sprinkled with freckles, and the way she slowly swings her leg to and fro, like she’s daydreaming. Her chest rises with her slow inhale, and I have to look away because it outlines the shape of her body in that swimsuit and there is no way I’m going down that fantasy road with Finn River’s one and only princess.

Everything about her is so tempting. From her soft curves and sweet smile to the humble way she talks and how she’s so obviously holding herself back. It makes me want to watch her let it all go.

“I want to get drunk,” she says.

I laugh. “Um, what?”

She gives me a thoughtful glance. “I’ve never been drunk before. I think it’s something I should do.”

“That’s hardly a life’s ambition.”

“You asked what I want, now you’re gonna judge?”

I reach out and grab her toe. She yanks her foot back, but gifts me a smile.

“You want me to make a run to the liquor store? You could get smashed here. It’s probably the safest group of people to get drunk with.”

“Why is that?”

“Most of us are former hellions, so our raging days are over.”

“So you’re saying I’d be drinking alone? That doesn’t sound very fun.”

It’s true. I force the tension from my chest with a firm breath. “Okay, maybe that’s not one we can accomplish tonight then. What else do you want?”

Her lips curve into a playful grin and she cocks her head, like she’s savoring what she’s about to say. “To break a law.”

I arch an eyebrow. “You could flash me.”

To my delight, she blushes crimson. “And send me to jail in just a trench coat? Rude.”

I extend my arms along the back of the tub, the cold from the wet deck doing nothing to dampen the heat building in my core. “Why do you want to break a law?”

“I just want to do something… I don’t know… reckless, just once.”

My cock twitches. Reckless, huh? I have about a hundred ideas. “Have you ever had a traffic ticket?”

“Of course not.”

“That would be an easy one. Just drive a little fast.”

“That’s dangerous.”

She has a point. I stroke my chin and pretend to think. “You could steal something.”

Her eyes flash. “No way, I could never!”

“Is it the thrill of doing something bad, or is it the getting caught?”

Her cheeks flush again. “Maybe both.”

“How about we drive to a convenience store? You could sneak something small. See if they catch you.”

“What if they don’t?”

“What, you want to be punished?” Sweet Lord, my cock is going to explode.

“I mean, I don’t want to go to jail, but maybe community service or something.”

I take a cooling breath. At least my lower half is underwater right now. “You could totally do community service.”

She nods, her face earnest. “I’ll build one little library for every pack of gum I steal.”

“You could just build libraries ‘cause you feel like it, you know. It doesn’t have to be a punishment.” Though the idea of her draped across my lap while I smack her tight little ass is going to make it impossible for me to sleep tonight. Or any night. Ever.

“Yes!” she says. “But I want to do it myself, with my own money. I’ll get the supplies and everything, and then I’ll build them and paint them and fill them with books.”

“Great. What else?”

She frowns. “That’s not enough?”

“Come on, go big.”

She inhales another breath, but I keep my eyes on her face this time for safety. “Okay. I want to open a community art center where people can make things and kids can take classes.”

I contain my surprise—barely. This woman could do anything in the world. A hot air balloon ride. A deep dive in a submarine. Hell, she could probably orbit the moon. Instead, she wants to do something for her community. “That seems totally doable.”

“My dad thinks it’s a waste of time.”

“Do you need his approval?” I don’t ask it to be mean, maybe Daddy owns the town, too.

“No.” She says it slowly, like she’s thinking it through.

“Would it hurt him or your family somehow if you did it?”

Her lips purse, like she’s concentrating. “I can’t see why it would.”

“All right. One community art center… done.”

“And several little libraries, apparently.”

“You’re going to be too busy to get married.”

She laughs so hard she wraps her arm across her middle. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Anything else you want to add?”

Her eyes turn anxious. “Um. Skinny dipping. And… I want to go to a sex toy store.”

I burst out laughing. Who is this girl? “Can we unpack those a bit? Like the skinny dipping. This seems like prime territory.” I jerk my chin toward the lake. “You’ve seriously never done it?”

“I didn’t get to spend a lot of time here when I was growing up,” she says in a rush, like she’s afraid if she doesn’t spit it all out at once, she’ll lose her nerve.

“Why not?”

“School.” She says it like I should understand. I’m starting to.

“Why a sex toy shop?” I ask. “You shopping for something in particular?” And can I help you find it?

“No.” She scoffs. “I just… I don’t know. I want to see one. See what it’s like.”

“Is there one in Finn River?”

Her face tenses. “Not sure, but I can’t do it here . Everyone knows me.”

“Field trip, then.”

She nods. “Missoula or Boise probably has one. ”

“Pretty sure you could shop online too.”

She gives me a shy sideways glance. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Just saying you’ve got options.” We’re building quite the list here. Does douche date know about these secret ambitions? “What else?”

Her lips twitch, and she eyes me with a wicked gleam in her eye. “It’s cliché, I know, but… I want to get a tattoo.”

I shrug. “Nobody can stop you. It’s your body.”

“I almost did it last summer,” she says with a wistful sigh. “I was with my best friends in San Francisco. Ava wanted to get one, so we went with her. I almost got one too but… I chickened out.”

“Do you have a design picked out?”

I picture a butterfly or a rose or something sweet, like her.

“Not exactly,” she replies, her tone thoughtful. “Maybe that’s why I couldn’t do it.”

“The right idea will come to you.”

“How did you decide?” She gives me a shy glance, like she’s not sure she’s supposed to have noticed the dagger on my forearm.

The sword and I have a complicated relationship, and it can get a little dark. “I had an inspiration, so I started sketching.”

Her eyes widen. “You drew that?”

“I drew the idea. The artist took it a step further.”

“You trusted him to freelance like that?”

“Hell yeah. It’s part of the experience.”

She gazes down at the water, frowning. “You’re braver than me.”

I get the feeling she could be brave if she wanted to be. She just needs someone to believe in her. “You ditched your date to spend the evening here. I’d say that counts as brave.”

She gazes up and sighs. “I have one more thing… but it’s never going to happen.”

“Well, it definitely won’t if you keep it to yourself,” I tease because I don’t like how her eyes have turned so serious.

After a hard sigh, she swirls her shins for a long moment before looking up again. “To be kissed by someone who wants me. ”

The air leaves my lungs. Fuck, this got delicate all of a sudden.

“Are you saying you’ve never been kissed like that before? Not by anyone?” This crushes my soul.

She shakes her head. “And once I’m married, I won’t get the chance.”

It hits me that if she’s never been kissed like that, she’s never been fucked like that, either, and that is completely unacceptable. Because sweet, beautifully curious Kirilee St. Claire should get everything she wants from her partner. She should be worshipped head to toe, all night, every night.

“Does Larch know you want to be kissed like that?”

She gives me a look. “It won’t count if I have to say it.”

“If you don’t ask for what you need, how can he know? Men aren’t mind readers.”

Her shoulders slump. “Birch says I read too many romance novels.”

If I was lukewarm about this guy before, I’m downright arctic now. “Maybe he needs to read a few of them.”

She sends me a playful grin.

“What’s your plan to tackle this list of yours?”

Her eyes tense. “List?”

“The secret bucket list.”

“Bucket list? No. Do not call it that.”

“Then what? The living will?”

“A living will is for someone dying. I’m not dying.”

“Marrying Birch sounds like a death sentence to me.”

She bursts out laughing. “You’re terrible!”

“Back to your plan, princess.”

Her eyes flash. “I am not a princess!”

“Prove it. Give me the plan.”

She shakes her head. “I’m not going to actually accomplish them.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if people find out?”

“I thought that was sort of the point?”

She crosses her arms like she’s about to get stubborn, and it’s fucking cute as hell. “Imagining is enough.”

“To a princess, sure.”

“Ugh!” She flings water at me with her toe, splashing my face. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Laughing, I wipe my eyes. “What’s your timeline?”

Her mouth drops open in shock.

I splash her knees. “Come on. Accountability is key here.”

With a groan, she leans back again. “I’m getting married January fourteenth.”

I ignore the burn eating my belly from the inside out. “The middle of winter?”

“When Birch proposed, the summer dates were already taken.”

I’m no sap, but aren’t weddings for pretty summer days with flowers and sunshine? It makes me think this wedding is the precursor to the rest of her life. A series of staged appearances, one after the next.

Fuck.

“Are you having a bachelorette party? Seems like you could bang out a couple of these goals in one go.”

She blinks at me. “I wanted one, but my mom said it was too risky.”

“Too risky for what?”

“Security and privacy are very important to my family.” She swishes her legs in the water, making little circles.

I let this go. She’s not seeing how fucked up this is and I’m not sure I’m the guy to spell it out for her.

“But you’re right. I should have one,” she says with such certainty that my nuts tingle. I like how determined she gets. Why does she seem so convinced she has to hide it?

“Maybe you and Zach could help with the security part?” Her emerald eyes flash with challenge. “After all, he’s a cop, and you’re a mechanic. Between the two of you, we’d be able to get out of pretty much any kind of trouble.”

My chest tightens. Shit, I had been sort of metaphorically playing along. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t picture driving her to a minimart somewhere so she could boost a pack of gum, or sitting with her in a bar watching her get plastered then driving her safely home and tucking her into bed afterward. But that’s not the same as actually being there.

Why would she want me?

“You don’t want to?” Her look turns pained.

“I’d be honored,” I manage because no fucking way can I turn her down. She’s taking a huge risk right now sharing these things with me, and from the difficulty she experienced doing so, I don’t think she’s shared them with anyone else.

I’m going to find out why. Maybe there’s something I can do to fix it.

From the lakeshore, the swimmers are heading back from the lake, their laughter and banter echoing through the trees.

“Well,” Kirilee says, as if shutting down her desires is as easy as closing a door. “I should call my brother for a ride.”

“I can take you,” I protest.

Kirilee gives me a sassy wink. “And let my new partner in crime get murdered before we’ve even started?”

A figure darkens the doorway behind her. “No need for murder. But you’d better get your clothes on.”