Love Me Reckless (Love Me Dangerous #2)

Chapter 6

Chapter Six

KIRILEE

“There you are,” Mom says, her anxious gaze softening as I approach.

Guilt spreads deep in my belly. The last thing I want is to worry them. They endured enough of that during the three-and-a-half hours I went missing when I was five years old. My mom had anxiety attacks for a year after that and still has sleep problems. My dad became a workaholic.

I barely remember the encounter. A nice man picked me up from kindergarten, took me to get ice cream, then let me ride a carousel as many times as I wanted. Then a policeman arrived with my parents. I never saw the man again. Six months later, we moved to Finn River, and Dad built the high-security membership-only Finn River Ranch so they would never have to worry about our safety again.

Birch stands, his narrow face freshly shaven and his sharp eyes edged with concern. Though is the concern for himself, or for me?

He leans in, his hand on my arm, and kisses my cheek.

When he pulls back, his nose is flared in disgust, like he’s smelled the barn on my skin. I almost laugh but catch myself just in time.

One of the servers arrives to take my order while another server pours coffee from a silver carafe and sets a pitcher of cream next to my cup.

“Thank you,” I say with a smile. The woman smiles back.

Dad checks his watch. “You need to apologize to Birch.”

My skin jumps. I glance at my mom. She’s dressed in a soft pink silk shirt that hangs loosely from her thin frame. Her rosy lips purse slightly, like she’s ready to back him up.

I pour cream into my coffee and give it a slow stir with the teaspoon. Then, I lift my cup to my lips and silently count to three to slow my racing heart while I take a small sip.

“Where did you go last night?” I ask Birch, not looking at him.

“After the party? Home, of course. Worried sick, I might add.”

I give him a thoughtful glance. There’s no way he’s going to admit any wrongdoing in front of my parents, and since I don’t have proof, I need to play this right.

“Worried?” I sip my coffee again, too fast, but the burn in my throat is like a lance to my soul. “All because I wasn’t ready to go home?”

“The manager at the Bitterroot Club said you made a scene,” Dad says. His sharp eyes bore into me like lasers. “Explain why you left your fiancé standing in the middle of the valet area. Grayson said you were with a group from the party. Who are these people? You know how dangerous that is.”

I study Birch’s expression. There’s no remorse there. No pleading for forgiveness. Do I have this all wrong?

I set down my cup. “They’re Zach’s friends from Alaska. They came to see him get sworn in yesterday. They rented a house on the lake.”

“So, it was a party?” Dad’s tone sounds choked. “Why, Kirilee?”

“Am I not allowed to make friends? To attend a party if I feel like it?”

“Not alone, you’re not,” Mom snaps, that worried look in her eyes again. “You know this.”

She’s right. Being the daughter of a successful exclusive resort mogul means I am more vulnerable than most people. My kidnapping from Hamilton Elementary is proof.

“They’re good people,” I say. I have to at least get this out before I quit. “One is a cop. The other is a federal agent, and another is a medic. I think I was safe with them.” I leave Sawyer’s name out because the last thing I need is him landing on Dad’s radar.

“And we all know what your judgment is worth,” Dad says, pushing back his chair to stand. “We trust Birch.”

I exhale slowly. This hurts, but it’s not the first time, and a part of me has always wondered if it’s true.

Dad leans to kiss Mom’s cheek, then he moves to me. “I’ll be back for the wedding shower.” He pats my shoulder. I force myself to look at him, and he gives me a curt smile. Then he hurries inside.

Our breakfast arrives, but I’m no longer hungry.

After, Birch drives me back to my bungalow. It’s rare that he takes time off during the day, so I must have really got his attention last night. I roll my window down to let in the fragrant breeze.

He pulls to a stop in front of my bungalow and glances at it through my window. “Once you move in, I was thinking this would make a good office space. I could have the upstairs redone into a gym.”

“I like my place,” I say as alarm bells blare in my brain.

His soft gaze turns puzzled. “But you won’t need it.”

“You already have an office.” It takes up the entire third floor of his house in Grayhawk.

“Separating work from family is key to creating healthy boundaries, Kirilee.”

I cross my arms. “No.”

He blinks. “Excuse me? ”

“You’re not turning my bungalow into your private office.”

He huffs and makes a face, like he’s insulted. “Is something wrong? Are you upset?”

“Where did you go last night? During the party, not after. You disappeared. Why?”

“I told you I went looking for your shoes.”

“Why did your watch face read like you had been out sprinting?”

His eyes cloud, and he makes like he’s going to check his watch but stops himself. He smiles. “I was reviewing my weekly stats right before that. I must have forgotten to clear them.”

This is perfectly logical and something Birch does regularly, but I can’t shake the feeling I’m being lied to. “If you were with someone, just tell me.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, like he has a headache. “Not this again.”

“I’m not marrying you,” I blurt.

His eyes flash. “What?”

I gulp a shaky breath, but I don’t dare look away. “I’m… not ready.” I wince. Damn it. This is not even close to what I wanted to say.

“The twelve-carat stone on your finger says otherwise.” His voice is cold, but then he sighs, like indulging me is costing him precious energy. “What would make you feel ready?”

“I want to build a community art center and some little libraries around town and fill them with books.” My Will to Live list fills my mind. “And I want to have a bachelorette party.” I keep the details to myself.

I expect him to argue like he does about most everything, but he inhales a breath, nodding. “The community art center and book thing are easy enough. I’ll put our building operations team on it.”

“No.” It comes out more forcefully than I plan, which draws another scowl from Birch. “I want to do it myself.”

“You don’t know anything about either of those things, Kirilee.”

“So? ”

He scrutinizes me with a stern once-over. “It’s nearly impossible to build in the winters here. Contractors require heavy supervision. You’ll need a budget, a project lead, plans, plus going forward with any new project, we need to take green energy into account.”

I stay quiet while he rattles on. Finally, he sighs. “All right. We can look into it.”

This feels like a compromise, but it might be the closest I can get to a yes.

“The bachelorette party idea,” he says, discreetly checking his watch. “What do you have in mind?”

“A weekend with my two best friends, somewhere fun.” Somewhere with skinning dipping options, a bar, and a sex toy shop. I suppress the giggle tickling up my throat.

“Let me look at my calendar.”

“You can’t come,” I blurt because I can practically see his wheels turning. I wouldn’t even want to attend his bachelor party. He and his polo buddies are flying to Cabo San Lucas to play in some tournament.

“I’m in charge of your safety.”

“I’ll get Zach to watch over us.”

“He’s a cadet,” Birch replies, doing that open-mouth-jaw-clench thing again.

I raise an eyebrow. “He saved Sofie’s life and single-handedly dismantled a crime ring. And now he’s licensed to carry a weapon. I think I’ll be safe with him.”

“Fine,” he snaps.

“Really?”

He gives an exasperated huff. “This is not a game to me, Kirilee.”

“Promise me there’s no one else.”

He levels me with a steady gaze. “There’s no one else.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

I feel backed into a corner, but didn’t I bring it on myself? “Okay. ”

He smiles. “Good.”

When I step from his car and hurry inside so I can get ready for my tour, my sense of victory fades. Because a bachelorette party is an insignificant blip in time compared to the rest of my life. A few nights versus the many others I’m going to spend with Birch.

I slip out my phone and type out a text to Sofie.

Bachelorette party. Interested?

She calls me.

“I thought your parents said no,” she says, followed by the slurp of her sipping coffee. Shoot. Did I interrupt her studying?

“They did, but I got Birch to agree.”

“Oh. How’d that come about?”

“I just asked for it.” Though it’s much more complex than this, I don’t like oversharing. “Zach has to chaperone, though.”

Sofie laughs. “Ooh, I like that idea!”

“Can you find a date you’re both free? Then I’ll call Ava.”

“On it,” Sofie says. “See you tonight.”

My tummy flutters because tonight is William’s first football game with the Finn River Falcons and from what I’ve heard, the entire Alaska entourage is going to be there. Including Sawyer.

When I get out of the shower, I’m drying off when my mind wanders back to last night. I look at my reflection. Where would I get a tattoo? What design would I like?

I roll my arms, so my pale forearms are face up. Maybe a heart on my wrist, or a crescent moon? I turn and look over my shoulder. A flower on my lower back? If I had it done low enough, nobody would know it was there unless I was naked. Or I could do something small on my ankle—still discreet.

I think of Sawyer’s design. What does a dagger shrouded in thorns mean to him?

When I arrive at the main lodge port cochere, I’m still sifting through possible designs in my mind. Nothing feels right, but maybe it’s like Sawyer said, and the right one will magically take shape.

Mr. and Mrs. Prescott and their close friends the Zimmermans from Switzerland arrive right on time. I start with the lodge and restaurants, then show them our patio with the gorgeous view of the ski area and jagged mountain skyline. We then move to the swimming pool and recreation facilities all while I field their questions about membership privileges and the exclusivity and privacy Finn River Ranch offers.

When we descend to the lower level of the recreation building to visit the bike and ski shop and the childcare center, two people are coming out of Stu’s office.

It’s Sawyer and Zach, both dressed for mountain biking. Stu is right behind them, and all three of them are smiling.

“Kirilee, hey,” Zach says, grinning.

Sawyer’s eyes seem to brighten, sending a zip of heat across my skin.

The hallway suddenly feels very cramped. “Hi,” I manage.

Stu steps into the hallway, beaming at my four guests. “Welcome to Finn River Ranch. I’m Stu Valentine, head of security.”

Both couples shake Stu’s hand, and soon they’re in a deep discussion about the high-level security at the ranch, asking pointed questions. Stu is leading the group in the opposite direction to show them our sophisticated security systems and the main hub where the security team rotates through 8-hour shifts monitoring all of the equipment, video, and drone data.

I need to catch up with Stu so I can steer my guests back to the recreation building when they’re ready, but I can’t seem to tear myself away from Sawyer. “How was your ride? ”

“Awesome,” Sawyer says. “How’s your foot?”

I press my lips together to keep my smile from bursting. “Better. Thanks again for the extra bandages. They really helped.”

Sawyer smirks. “Good.”

Though he doesn’t mention his phone number scrawled on the back, I get the feeling he knows that I found it.

“Sawyer just signed on with Finn River Ranch,” Zach says, and grabs Sawyer in a kind of sideways man-tackle slash hug.

My tummy jolts like I’m an airplane experiencing turbulence. “Congratulations. When do you start?”

“October fifteenth.”

“That’s great.” From behind me, Stu’s speech is winding down. “Well, bye.”

He winks. “Bye, princess.”

I glare at him while heat prickles up my neck. Before I say something stupid, I spin on my heel and hurry down the hall.

Though I sense his eyes on me, I don’t dare look back.