Love on the Line (Beaumont Legacy #2)

14. Cooper

Chapter fourteen

Cooper

F rankie’s was unsurprisingly empty, since Colton’s birthday fell on a Thursday. Cooper had originally planned to meet Colton at his house for the dinner that Lucia and Maya were preparing, but it seemed Colton had been kicked out of the kitchen, so Cooper had agreed to meet him at the only club in Charleston that catered exclusively to athletes. No non-athletes allowed meant no chance of paparazzi or of being posted all over social media.

To Cooper? It was a godsend.

Cooper sat on a barstool in the corner of the quiet club, untouched beer in front of him as he scrolled through the news. He knew it was dumb, but his self-control disappeared for a moment as he searched for his own name. Nothing new came up since the last time he’d checked, and he didn’t know if that was good or bad. A part of him had hoped things would already be changing for the better, but that was a ridiculous hope, since he hadn’t actually done anything of value yet.

He swiped away a text from George asking him why he hadn’t been out with anyone recently. Cooper sighed. Another person whose texts he was dodging. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t last for long, since he spoke with his agent almost every day.

A hand patted him on the shoulder and then Colton was beside him, slipping onto a barstool.

“Sorry I’m late.”

Cooper shook his head. “I just got here too. You’re good.”

Colton asked for a beer and then looked around. “Wow, it’s nice and quiet, huh?”

“Well, it is almost dinnertime on a Thursday evening. Not exactly prime time.”

Colton grunted, taking a sip of the beer the bartender set in front of him.

Cooper held out his bottle for his friend to tap with his own. “Happy birthday, man. Hope it’s been a good one. I’m having your present sent to your house tomorrow after practice.”

His friend nodded, staring down at the bar top. “Appreciate it. But know that if it’s another car, Lucia might have words with you.”

Cooper snickered before noticing Colton wasn’t joining him. “What’s wrong? You’re gloomier than usual. ”

“Just thinking about how close we’re getting to retiring age.”

Cooper raised an eyebrow. “You’re thinking about retirement? I never thought I’d see the day.” He chuckled.

Six years ago, Cooper had been drafted to the Sabertooths right out of college. Colton, who was only a year older, had been the grumpiest twenty-four-year-old Cooper had ever met. With all the time they’d spent together on the field, in the weight room, and in team bonding, Cooper had realized that grumpiness had come from a drive like he’d never seen; Colton was fiercely competitive, and football was his outlet.

It had taken a few months of trying to break through Colton’s shell—the man had had very few friends and rarely went out with the team if he could help it. But Cooper had kept trying, and finally, Colton had opened up, and their relationship on and off the field had been the better for it.

Colton shrugged. “Thirty does that, I guess. I used to be so concerned about what I’d accomplished and what I had left to do. But now a part of me just wants to enjoy another season or two before I start traveling with Luc. I don’t know, is that crazy?”

“I don’t think it’s crazy. I think it’s surprising to hear from you, but I’m glad you’re taking it a little less seriously now.”

A couple of years ago, nothing would have been good enough for him to be ready to retire.

“Setting boundaries with my dad helped, I think. I don’t feel as stressed when he calls, especially because I don’t answer as often. Can’t bring myself to cut him off entirely, but still. All around less pressure.”

Cooper nodded, taking a sip of the cool beer. He wondered if it was a sign he needed to work on boundaries with his own family.

Colton continued, “I’m sorry I haven’t been as present since Lucia moved in. It’s so easy to want to go straight home after practice and lift now that I get to see her every day, but I feel like we haven’t hung out much recently.”

“Nah, I get it.” And Cooper really did. He had nothing but good things to say about Lucia, and he could only hope that one day, he could find someone who made him feel that way too.

He tried not to let the momentary flash of Maya’s face in his mind affect him.

“I know you do, but I’m going to do better. Should be easier too now that she’s settled in. But you’ve been busy too, huh? You didn’t tell me how things went in LA.”

“You haven’t talked to Maya about it?” Maya had already been in Charleston for a little over a day, staying with her brother.

It’d been more than a week of only seeing Maya over video calls in the evenings while they worked through charity stuff, and Cooper had been looking forward to being with her in person for days .

“She told me you guys accomplished a lot, and she seems really excited. But I feel like she’s holding back a little. She said you’re a cofounder now?”

Cooper suspected this would be a sensitive subject, but he’d never lied to Colton.

Well, almost never. Cooper pretended omitting the time he and Maya had almost kissed in this very club didn’t count as a lie.

“Yeah. We did a lot of paperwork, some event planning for a fundraiser, and found where she’ll be having the actual lessons.”

“She said she got a local donor to help her out with initial costs?”

Cooper didn’t know if the almost accusatory tone was all in his head.

“Uh, I offered, actually.”

It was silent for a moment, and when Cooper turned to look at his closest friend, he saw the flash of hurt. He almost wished he had lied.

“I’m confused. When I offered to help pay, she said she would find another way.”

“I think she was just worried about mixing business with family.” At least, that was a part of it. Cooper got the feeling Maya struggled to accept help in general, like she wanted to do everything herself so she didn’t have to take up space in anyone else’s life.

He hated that she did that. Especially when she had so many people who loved her and wanted her to lean on them.

When Colton didn’t respond, Cooper said, “I really don’t think she meant anything by it, man.”

“I know she didn’t.” Colton frowned. “I wish she felt comfortable talking to me about it, though.”

“I think I was just there when she had the idea at Devin’s event. And she had a couple of questions about setting up that I was able to get the information for. I think she knows you’re busy, or at least worries you might be, and doesn’t want to add to it.”

His friend frowned even more, if possible. “And you’re okay with helping? You don’t mind?”

Cooper wanted to tell Colton he was doing this for himself as much as he was for Maya, because he wanted to show the world he could be good. He could do good.

But, despite how close he and Colton were, Cooper had never expressed how much he hated all the labels put on him. Especially because he hadn’t really realized how badly he’d wanted the change until recently. Cooper would tell his friend about it, but his birthday wasn’t the right time.

“I’m happy to help. We both know I have more money than I’ll ever need, and it’s for a great cause. Plus, I’m honored to help Maya.”

Finally, the frown disappeared, and Colton nodded. “Okay, thank you. I appreciate it, and I’d rather it be you, me, or Landon than someone random. At least this way, I know she’s working with someone I trust. Someone who sees her like a sister and will treat her with that same respect.”

Shame slammed through Cooper, because in no way did he think about Maya the way he thought about his sisters. He was a shit friend for the things he’d continued to let pass between him and Maya.

He swallowed over the guilt of knowing that he was not as good a friend to Colton as Colton was to him. “Of course.”

It only took a few more minutes to finish their beers, and then they were taking a car back to Colton’s for dinner.

As they were finishing up their meal, Maya was talking about the charity, and Cooper was struggling to concentrate on her words. With each sentence about all she’d achieved, she brightened more and more, and like the beautiful sunflower she was, she bloomed as she spoke, her face lighting up. The smile on her face was genuine and radiant, and Cooper felt as if he’d been punched in the solar plexus.

Every day, trying to hide how much he wanted to be near her became harder and harder, from himself and probably the world.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she talked animatedly about the work she’d already accomplished for the charity and how excited she was to get it up and running. The ache to reach out and touch her was stronger than usual, so he slipped his hands under his legs and looked straight ahead.

To where Lucia watched him knowingly, a slight smile on her face.

Shit .

Trying to appear nonchalant, Cooper began collecting all the dishes on the table.

“Oh, Coop, there’s no need. I can do that.” Lucia tried to stop him, but he sidestepped her grab for the plates.

“Like hell you will. You cooked us a great meal, and now I’ll be cleaning.”

Maya stood, grabbing the cups and other dishes she could manage. “I’ll help.”

He almost said something to remind her that she was one of the people who had cooked, but the resolve on her face told him not to.

Cooper heard Lucia’s grumble, but she didn’t rise from her chair to assist them in the kitchen. He placed the dishes beside the sink, grabbing the sponge and beginning his work soaping and scrubbing. Maya took the cleaned plates and wiped them down with a towel before placing them back into the cabinet.

On the third plate, Maya accidentally grabbed Cooper’s hand as she tried to get the plate from him. She giggled, the pink of her alcohol-addled cheeks deepening. “Sorry.” But she didn’t let go, and when Cooper glanced at her, she was staring at his hand in hers. She used her thumb to gently trace his veins. The light pressure was enough to shock Cooper into dropping the fork in his other hand.

At the sound of it clattering, her eyes found his, and the tension between them stretched until the air around them was so thin, Cooper could hardly find any to breathe. He was utterly fixated on her. He couldn’t have taken his eyes off her even if he’d wanted to, which he didn’t.

Neither of them moved.

The way she was looking at him reminded Cooper of her twenty-third birthday party, and his thoughts flitted to that moment, that almost-kiss. He couldn’t help but wonder how different things would be if he hadn’t pulled away that night. If he’d let himself indulge in what they’d both clearly wanted.

Without thinking, he asked in a whisper, “Do you ever think about it?”

From the hazy look in her eyes, she knew what he was talking about, but she still asked, “About what?”

“That night. At Frankie’s.”

Maya looked like she was debating something, and for a very long time, she said nothing. When she finally seemed to decide, she pulled away slightly, removing her hand from his and carefully pulling the plate from his hand, making sure not to touch him again.

“Coop, I don’t think…”

A mistake. A huge mistake. His dumbass big mouth. “No, you’re right. Sorry.” He turned back to the sink, scrubbing at the next plate hard, punishing it for his own idiocy .

Before she took the next plate, she whispered, “Of course I think about it.” She said it plainly, as if those weren’t the most dangerous words to be spoken between them. “It’s always floating around when it shouldn’t be. Especially when Colton’s here, and I have to remind myself he would lose his mind if he found out.” Her voice dropped even more. “And most especially when you’re around.”

His breath caught in his throat. This was dangerous territory, and he knew that, but ever since she’d come to Charleston earlier that year, wrist in a cast and a light in her eyes that was only just starting to come back, it’d played in his head far more than it should have.

But that was all it could ever be: thoughts. He’d just promised himself he’d do better for Colton’s sake. Plus, Cooper couldn’t help but feel Maya deserved more than someone whose entire life appeared to be football, women, and sex. What would people start saying about her if they were ever linked in the news? Would she be able to handle that kind of media?

They finished the remaining dishes in silence, and when they returned to the living room, Colton had a look on his face like he wanted to be locked in his bedroom with Lucia. He tore his eyes away from her and looked back at them.

“We’re heading to bed, but feel free to watch whatever you want. Coop, don’t even think about driving home because you’ve had too much to drink and we have a late start tomorrow anyway. Take the room you always do.” He gave Maya a quick hug, patted Cooper on the back, and practically dragged a wine-happy Lucia behind him, her laugh echoing around the dining room as she waved goodbye over her shoulder.

“So gross, but I love them together. I really do. He’s never been so happy.” Maya flicked off all the lights but the one in the foyer, providing just enough light to find the guest rooms.

They reached her room first, and she leaned back against the closed door, making no move to open it. Maya looked up at him, and without even a thought, he was in front of her. It went against everything he’d just told himself, but it was like there was a current thrumming between them, pulling them together. Like opposite ends of a magnet.

Still, he kept his hands at his side, waiting for her to make the next move.

She ran a thumb over his bottom lip lightly, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a small smile. His hands twitched.

“Why did you pull away that night? Why not kiss me?” She’d whispered it so softly, he’d had to lean forward half an inch to hear her, his forehead nearly touching hers.

He closed his eyes, running a hand through his own hair. “Because of Colton. And because I can’t let you be associated with me and my—”

“If you say reputation, I’ll pinch you. Hard. We talked about this.”

Cooper looked down the hall, where he was sure his best friend was not having a deep conversation with the woman he cared for. “I’ve spent so much of my life being used for one thing after another. If it wasn’t trying to befriend me to get something out of my dad, the mayor, then it was what I could provide with my face, my body, or my status as a football player. You spend your whole life being told that you’re the ‘pretty boy,’ that you’re gonna break hearts, it starts to become who you are.”

He knew it was dumb to complain about being perceived as attractive, but over time, his self-worth had become interwoven with his looks, and his life had become a series of objectification after objectification. As if his personality were secondary to what he looked like.

It felt good to tell someone. Cooper had kept it bottled up for so long, only coming even remotely close to telling someone when he’d asked George to help him make a change.

But this was Maya, and something about her always made Cooper feel like he could be honest. She was so good at putting everyone at ease, at making sure they knew she’d never judge them.

Maya didn’t respond after a few seconds, and worried she would point out what a first world problem that was, Cooper continued, still not looking at her. “I know how ridiculous it sounds. I know it’s coming from a place of privilege for that to have been my biggest issue growing up. But sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re anything but a thing when people put the word ‘actually’ in front of any compliments they give you. ‘You’re actually funny. You’re actually smart.’ Things I believed about myself that were slowly eroded away when it became clear that they weren’t what people wanted or expected from me.”

Cooper had tried to get away from it all after high school. Had run away to Alabama to start again. He’d thought he’d met the love of his life in college, someone who’d genuinely cared for him as a person, but when he really thought about it, Gabi had barely even thought of him as her boyfriend.

He paused before he said the last words, his face scrunched in embarrassment. “I didn’t think there was anything about me that could ever deserve a kiss from you. So, I pulled away.”

After Gabi, Cooper had come to the conclusion he wasn’t meant to be in a relationship. Or rather, there was no one made for him the way he’d thought there would be. No one for him like Lucia was for Colton and vice versa. His life had become a revolving door of casual relationships because the universe had made it abundantly clear he was not meant to have anything serious or real.

But now, seeing what he might one day have, he didn’t know anymore. There were too many thoughts going back and forth in his head.

When he glanced at her again, she looked angrier than he’d ever seen her, her eyebrows pinched together tightly, lips beginning to form a scowl.

“You are funny. You are smart. You’re sweet and caring and willing to do anything for the people close to you. None of that is secondary to how you look and what you can provide to others. You are far more than that. There is nothing in you that makes you undeserving of love.”

He looked down, and she placed a reassuring hand on his chest. “If you want others to stop seeing you that way—as the man with a reputation for keeping things casual—you have to stop seeing yourself that way too. You have to see yourself as funny and smart and all of those other things. And others will see it too. Fuck your reputation. And fuck anybody who could ever see you so two-dimensionally.”

Cooper’s heart ricocheted around his chest at her words. They may have known each other for years, may have been attracted to each other from the start, but this was something different. Something more intense.

For the first time since college, Cooper could see himself with someone who cared about him , who saw him . With Maya, he had a personality beyond what everyone else, even his own family, saw him as.

How much longer could he keep using the excuse that she was Colton’s sister to stay away from her?

Not much longer, it seemed.

He cupped her jaw, tilting her head up slightly. Her eyes flashed, and he waited to see if she would pull away. When she didn’t, her eyes fluttering shut, he brushed his lips against hers softly. It felt more like a caress than a kiss, but every point of contact between them began to tingle.

This was exactly what Cooper was afraid of. This pull to her confused him, made his head hazy. He knew he shouldn’t be kissing her, felt the knife of betrayal leaving him and finding his closest friend’s back, but just the brush of his lips, just a taste, and now he wanted it all. Want consumed him, shredding through his resolve because, for once, he felt important to someone in a way he hadn’t often, if ever, felt.

A door, likely to Colton’s bathroom, closed and echoed across the house. Cooper’s eyes closed, and he heaved a deep sigh through his nose.

He couldn’t do this to Colton, especially not on his birthday. Cooper had to keep fighting it.

Or at the very least, figure out how he could convince Colton that he was worthy of her.

“Good night, Maya,” he whispered against her lips. Seconds later, he was in his guest room, waiting to hear the sound of her door closing behind her.

He couldn’t explain the feeling in his chest as anything other than anguish.