Love on the Line (Beaumont Legacy #2)

31. Cooper

Chapter thirty-one

Cooper

A s if the day couldn’t get any worse, George had called and left a message telling Cooper he was still working on his contracts. At least he’d mentioned he was pretty sure he’d be getting offers from all three teams, but it was no great joy to know Cooper’s future was still so uncertain.

Driving around the city hadn’t burned the feelings from the morning away like he’d wanted, so he’d gone to the Sabertooths facility, grabbed a pair of boxing gloves, and was now taking his feelings out on one of the punching bags in the gym.

Cooper couldn’t remember the last time he’d voluntarily used the punching bags without being told to by a fitness coach, but he needed to expend the pent-up anger and anxiety that had been building in his chest since he’d heard Colton banging on Maya’s bedroom door .

It had been months of worrying that he wasn’t good enough for Maya Beaumont, and today, despite all he’d been trying to do to prove himself worthy of her, it was clear once again that he was not.

He wasn’t even mad at Colton. He had no right to be. Cooper had been notorious for sleeping around for more than six years, since he’d joined the Sabers, and even long before then in Alabama. A couple of months of trying not to be linked with multiple women and working on a charity were not going to wipe that away.

The fact that he’d believed his reputation could be erased so easily had been imbecilic.

Sweat dripped down his face, and he swiped it away with his forearm angrily.

All because the old Cooper would have rather taken any form of love, no matter how fleeting, than none at all. How pathetic had he been?

Maybe it’d take six years to prove himself. Maybe he never would.

Cooper was glad he’d left his phone in the locker room because a voice in his head, the self-sabotaging one, told him to see if there was anything new about him on the news. He’d gotten better about it. He’d noticed he rarely checked when he was with Maya, or even when he was thinking about her.

But the reminder from Colton that he wasn’t good enough had him sliding back down the hill .

Right as he began another set, he heard someone clear their throat behind him. When he turned, Colton was standing in a Sabertooths sweatsuit, hands in his pockets and an unreadable expression on his face.

Cooper nodded in greeting, pulling the Velcro gloves off and tossing them to the side, wiping at his face with the T-shirt he’d discarded on the floor when he’d first started working out.

“Couldn’t find you at any of your usual spots.”

Cooper huffed a laugh. “My house and the beach?”

Colton nodded, taking a couple of steps closer. “That conversation didn’t go the way I’d hoped. I was so blindsided, I just marched over to her room without even working through what was going on in my head.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I didn’t feel I was worthy of her and wanted to prove myself to you before we told you. Prove myself to the world, really.”

Colton rubbed his eyes. “Well…I appreciate that. One of the things that hurt most was figuring out that this is why you kept dodging me this past month. It felt like you never wanted to be in the same room with me for longer than a few minutes.”

Cooper ran a hand through his hair. “I hated keeping secrets from you. I wanted to tell you, but I wanted to show I deserved her first. And knowing I couldn’t tell you made me uncomfortable. I thought as long as we didn’t talk, I couldn’t really be lying to you. I know that’s dumb.”

Colton looked away, almost haunted. “I just don’t want you guys to feel like you can’t talk to me, you know? I care about you both so much, and I’d hope you’d feel like you can. This is just a wake-up call, I guess.”

“I really don’t want you to take it that way. This was on us for not coming to you with it sooner. And you have every right to feel hurt and get angry with me. I really am sorry. I hadn’t seen her in over a week, and I missed her. I just needed to see her in an environment where we could be us and not two friends who run a charity together.” Like he’d tried to be last night. “But, that also isn’t an excuse for keeping it a secret. We should’ve been honest.”

“What did she mean by ‘me of all people’?”

Cooper cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at his friend. “You and I kind of talked about how I was trying to make a change. I’d wanted to for a while, especially after seeing how happy you and Lucia are. But when I started getting closer with Maya, that want got stronger. I worried that you, her, the world wouldn’t see it how I did, given my reputation. That there would be assumptions about who I was with outside of her. And I never wanted that for her.

“I never wanted to be like this .” He gestured at himself. “I never wanted to be the guy people would be insulted to imagine dating their sisters. I’ve been trying to outrun that image since I left home. But that didn’t work out so well for me, and when I came here, I just kind of fell into it again. It was clear nobody believed I was made for relationships.” Cooper shrugged. “I don’t know, it just seemed to stick. Why go against what everyone seemed to be able to see in me? If everyone thinks that way, it’s got to be right, right?”

“I’m sorry, Coop. I’m a shitty friend for insinuating you’re still like that. Especially after what you told me earlier this month. If I’d known it went this deep…” Colton shook his head. “I’m just sorry. I was hurt that two people I trust and care for so much were sneaking around behind my back, in my house ”—Cooper grimaced at the reminder of how far his betrayal ran—“and I didn’t think before I spoke. I know you won’t hurt her. I’ve seen how you take care of her.”

Something cleared in Cooper’s head, and breathing got a little easier. “Thank you for saying that.”

Colton held his hand out for a handshake, and Cooper pulled him in for a hug, laughing when Colton pinched his nose at the smell.

Colton asked, “So, Maya, huh? You really like her? I mean, what’s not to like? But…”

And wasn’t that the truth.

“I really do. She’s changed everything for me. Makes me feel like I’m a human being and not what everyone sees me as. She makes me feel like I’m worthy of her, even when I don’t see it that way. I want to be that person for her, who she leans on when she’s struggling.”

Cooper wanted to be that and more. He wanted to be there on her good and bad days, her happy and sad days. He wanted to hold her when she cried, tell her how strong she was and how proud of her he was. He wanted to show her how capable she was in every way, even when she didn’t want to see it, even when she didn’t feel worthy. He’d meant it when he’d said he wanted it all.

If he ended up staying in Charleston, there was always the opportunity to expand On the Line to another city. If he ended up in Los Angeles, he could see his Sabers friends during the offseason. And if he didn’t end up with any offers, maybe he’d retire early and move to her. No one really played much into their thirties anyway.

Colton smiled at him. “I’m glad she’s been the person I should’ve been this whole time. She always has been the best of us Beaumonts.”

Cooper wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulder, his other hand patting his chest. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself. Second best, but by a small margin.”