Love so Hot (Misfit Millionaires #1)

Chapter 6 Willow

As I trudge into our makeshift camp, the setting sun bathes everything in a warm, golden glow that almost makes me forget we're basically squatting in the woods to save the planet. The smell of vegetable stew wafts over from a huge pot bubbling over the fire, making my stomach growl. My fellow Earth Defenders are scattered around—some chatting by the fire, others doing their best tree pose by the... well, trees. A few of the others are off meditating, communing with nature.

I make my way over to grab some stew, my legs still a bit wobbly from sitting cross-legged for hours during our meditation protest. As I reach for a bowl, Sage appears next to me with her usual serene smile.

"Mind if I join you?" she asks, already ladling stew into her own bowl.

"Be my guest," I reply, plopping down on a nearby log. "Though fair warning, I'm not the best company right now."

Sage settles beside me, her flowing skirt pooling around her legs. "I noticed. You seemed upset earlier, after the protest. When you were talking with River."

I nearly choke on a chunk of potato. "Geez, is everyone watching me or something? That's the second time today someone's said I looked upset around River."

"Perhaps the universe is trying to tell you something," Sage says with that annoying wisdom she always seems to have.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, maybe it's telling me to get better at hiding my emotions."

Sage's eyebrows furrow slightly. "Or maybe it's an opportunity to explore those emotions. Would you like to unpack that?"

I stare into my stew, suddenly finding the carrots fascinating. "Maybe? I don't know. I'm not even sure where I'd start."

As the chatter of the camp flows around us, I can't help but wonder if I'm ready to dive into the mess that is my feelings for River. But then again, when have I ever been ready for anything involving him?

Sage takes a thoughtful sip of her stew before asking, "Maybe start with how you feel around him?"

I let out a long sigh, my aqua hair falling in front of my face as I slouch. "Confused, mostly. It's like... I want to impress him. Do things that'll make him notice me, take me seriously."

As the words leave my mouth, I realize how pathetic they sound. I'm supposed to be this wise, seasoned activist, not some lovesick teenager.

Sage tilts her head, her eyes reflecting the golden sunset. "I see. And do you think feeling like you have to prove yourself to someone is a good thing?"

I snort, stirring my stew absently. "Probably not. But hey, at least I'm self-aware about my terrible life choices, right?"

"Perhaps," Sage says with a gentle smile. "What did you and River discuss this afternoon?"

I groan internally, remembering our heated conversation. "He wants to go big at tomorrow's groundbreaking. I was pushing for a more peaceful approach, but..."

"But?" Sage prompts.

"But I'm worried he'll choose someone else to help lead the Earth Defenders if I don't get on board with his plans," I admit, the words tasting bitter in my mouth.

Sage's eyebrows shoot up. "Willow, you're a founding member. You should have a say in our approach. In fact, wasn't it you who first invited River to join our movement?"

I blink, momentarily stunned. "Oh. Yeah. I guess I sort of... forgot about that."

As I sit there, feeling like the world's biggest idiot, I can't help but wonder how I managed to lose sight of my own power in this organization.

Sage leans in, her voice gentle but probing. "Why are you seeking his approval so much, Willow? Is there perhaps... a different kind of approval you're really looking for?"

I feel my cheeks flush, and not just from the heat of the campfire. Sage knows my past—the constant struggle for my parents' attention, the desperate need to prove myself. I just smile ruefully and shake my head. "You probably understand me better than I do, Sage."

She nods, her eyes warm with empathy. "Many of us have pasts we're running from. It's what brought us here, to this place. We're all seeking acceptance in our own ways."

I stare into my bowl of stew, watching the vegetables swirl as I push them around. "Yeah," I murmur. "And some of us are also seeking love."

Sage reaches out, placing a comforting hand on my arm. "It's okay to seek those things, Willow. But remember, the more you show yourself acceptance and love, the less you'll need to seek it from others."

I swallow hard, fighting back the sudden sting of tears. "Thanks, Sage. Really."

She smiles, then shifts gears. "So, did you and River agree on a strategy for tomorrow?"

I straighten up, grateful for the change of subject. "Actually, he left it up to me. I do have a plan."

Sage's eyebrows rise with interest. "Oh? What did you come up with?"

I open my mouth to respond, then hesitate. The plan I've concocted suddenly feels both brilliant and terrifying. Am I really ready to share it? To commit to it?

My stomach does a little flip and I force a smile. "Well, it's not exactly... finalized yet. I think I need to mull it over a bit more before I share it with anyone."

Sage's eyes narrow slightly, and I can tell she's picked up on my nervousness. She reaches out and squeezes my hand. "I hope you find peace with your actions and intentions, Willow. Whatever you decide, make sure it aligns with your heart."

I nod, grateful for her understanding. "Thanks, Sage. I'll keep that in mind."

As she walks away, I slump back against a nearby tree, my bowl of stew cooling in my hands. The camp bustles around me, a hive of activity as fellow Earth Defenders chat, laugh, and prepare for tomorrow. I should be out there, pumping everyone up for our big stand against the pipeline. Instead, I'm hiding in the shadows, second-guessing every decision.

I spoon some lukewarm stew into my mouth, barely tasting it. My eyes keep drifting to the far side of the camp, where River is animatedly discussing something with a group of newer recruits. Even from here, I can see the fire in his eyes, the passion that drew me to him in the first place.

God, I'm pathetic. Mrs. Sullivan and Sage are right—I shouldn't be seeking his approval. But how do you turn off feelings like a faucet?

With a sigh, I set my half-eaten stew aside and push myself to my feet. Maybe some yoga will help clear my head. I make my way over to where a few others are stretching by the trees, their silhouettes backlit by the setting sun.

"Mind if I join?" I ask, trying to shake off the weight of my conflicted emotions.

One of them pats the ground beside her. "The more the merrier! We're just about to start some sun salutations."

As I settle into the familiar poses, I try to focus on my breathing, on the stretch of my muscles. Anything to quiet the voice in my head that keeps whispering, "What would River think?"