Loving You (Words We Never Said #4)

Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

MONTY

“Uh…there’s some kid here to see you.”

Monty looked up from his computer, frowning. “A child? A client’s child?”

“I’m gonna say no,” Matthew chanced. “But maybe yes? I don’t know. He’s, um…uh.” He leaned into the office further. “I don’t know how to say it without sounding rude.”

Monty raised his brow. “Better say it rude, then. I’ve only got thirty minutes for lunch.”

Matthew slapped a hand over his face. “He can probably hear me. He’s—” Matthew gestured to his eyes. ‘Blind,’ he mouthed.

For fuck’s sake. Why did everyone who worked for him turn into an awkward mess whenever they didn’t understand something? “Show him in.”

“Oh. I don’t…how do I do that?”

“By stepping aside,” came Lucas’s voice. There was sharp ting sound, like hard aluminum hitting the doorframe, and then Monty saw his cane tip sweep from side to side in the doorway as though testing the distance .

Matthew all but leapt out of the way, and Monty heard him stumble, then curse. Lucas was holding back a laugh as he took a few steps into the room. “They always do that.”

Monty couldn’t help a grin. “Do they?”

“Mm. Though sometimes they grab my cane and drag me around like they’re a human guide dog. It’s super weird. Anyway, am I interrupting?”

“I’m having lunch.” Monty rose and walked around the desk. The humor of the situation had faded, and now he was feeling slightly panicked because there was no reason at all for Lucas to be visiting him. So something had to be wrong. “Is everything okay?”

“I was hoping we could talk,” Lucas said, now looking nervous. “Is there anyone else with you? My dad’s not hiding in here, trying not to breathe too loud, is he?”

Monty snorted a laugh. “Ah, no. Let me get the door. There’s a chair a few feet in front of you. Can I help you find it?”

“Nah, I think I got it.” Monty sidestepped the sweeping cane to get the door as Lucas found his way to one of the client chairs. He felt around the back, then the seat before lowering down and folding his cane, resting it over his thighs. “Feel free to eat. Another blind bonus—I can’t see it if you talk with food in your mouth.”

Monty grinned. “But you can hear it, I’m sure.”

“From the way sighted people react, I’m a thousand percent sure seeing is worse than hearing the chomping. I’m lucky. I didn’t get the flavor of Autism that makes you want to stab your eardrums at the sound of people chewing.”

“Flavor of Autism?” Monty repeated as he sat back down and pulled his little container of soup close. He’d stopped by a deli on his way in. He’d been too caught up in his own feelings after dinner with his dad and Bronx.

His lover had helped…at first. But then the week had begun, and he’d gone quiet, and Monty was too much of a coward to check in with him. He responded to Bronx’s texts, but he didn’t initiate. He could feel the distance growing between them, and he had no idea how to fix it.

“It’s not important,” Lucas said, waving his hand. “I’m here to talk about my dad.”

Monty froze with the spoon halfway to his mouth. “Is this where you tell me if I hurt him, no one will ever find me?”

Lucas’s grin lit up his whole face. “No. But if I did, would you be scared?”

“Petrified,” Monty told him.

Lucas sat back, satisfied written in his expression. “Good. But…actually, this is kind of the opposite. My dad will literally kill me when he finds out I came here today, but he’s miserable and lonely now that you cut him off, and that means he’s trying to spend all this time with me and be, like, relatable. And I can’t live like that, Monty. I need you to forgive him for whatever dipshit thing he did.”

Monty dropped his spoon and sat back. “What he did? I’m very confused.”

Lucas’s brows furrowed. “Well. You stopped talking to him, didn’t you? He’s been moping since Monday, and it’s only getting worse. This weekend, he says he wants to teach me fishing . I know how to fish, and I hate it. It’s slimy and disgusting. He knows this, but he’s unrelenting. I know he’s not on his A game right now. But whatever he did, he can fix it. He needs his boyfriend back.”

Monty let out a long, bone-deep sigh. “I wasn’t his boyfriend. I don’t know if he explained properly to you, but…”

Lucas held up a hand. “He told me enough. It was gross. I’m sufficiently traumatized by my dad’s weird romantic life.” He hesitated for a beat. “But I kind of figured he was just…you know…trying to soften the blow about him dating now that he and Ju—uh, my dad are done.”

“Oh, Lucas. You’re a very sweet kid, and?—”

“Not you too,” Lucas groaned, flopping backward in the chair. “I thought we were cool, bruh.”

Monty blinked. “We are cool.”

“Then why are you patronizing me? I’m not a kid . And just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I don’t get what’s going on around me.”

Monty held up both hands. “That’s not what I was going to say. Putain ,” he murmured, shaking his head. “I very much like your dad. More than I was expecting to. More than I was planning to. But we’re friends. Special friends?—”

“Nope. Never say special friends to me ever again,” Lucas warned.

Monty laughed softly. “Fine. What do you kids call it? Friends with benefits?”

“No, we don’t. That’s what old people say, and I also don’t need to hear that.” Lucas sat forward again, rocking his head gently from side to side. “I just came here to let you know what whatever happened, he’s probably really sorry. He’s miserable. For the first time in years, he was happy, and I know it was because he met you.”

“I’m fairly sure it has something to do with the fact that he’s finally around people who care about him,” Monty countered. “And, forgive me if I’m overstepping, but also because you’re not so angry at him anymore. ”

Lucas’s body went completely still, and then his fingers began to tap patterns on his thighs. “I wasn’t angry at him.” Monty’s silence must have spoken volumes because after a beat, Lucas sighed. “Okay, fine, I was angry. It feels like he’s finally listening to me now, so yeah, things are better. But that doesn’t change the fact that he started smiling again after he met you, and now he’s just…quiet. And sad. And I need to know how he can fix it because I don’t want my dad to go back to the person he was before he knew you.”

Monty swallowed heavily. “He didn’t do anything. I did.”

“Oh.” Lucas bit his lip. “So how do you fix it?”

“I don’t think I can.” Monty wrapped his arms around his middle. “I broke the rules and fell for him. He told me he wasn’t ready to be serious with anyone, and at the time, neither was I. I didn’t grow up in a good home. I’ve never wanted to inflict that on someone else. So we agreed to be friends with…well. As I said before. And now I don’t know how to be around him because when it ends, it’s going to hurt more than I can take it.”

Lucas’s brows furrowed. “Wait. You know he’s, like, batshit wild in love with you, right?”

Monty suspected Bronx was developing feelings, but to hear it so raw, so honest from the teen, was…it was more than he’d been prepared to take.

“And can I just call bullshit for a second? Excuse my Fre—oh. Is that offensive? Excuse my French?”

In spite of feeling like he’d just been bludgeoned by a baseball bat, Monty managed a soft laugh. “To some people. I find it quite flattering that Americans think the French invented all the good cursing.”

“Well, anyway, I’m calling bullshit on the whole not growing up in a good home thing. ”

Monty’s eyes went wide. “Fortunately for you, you haven’t met my father or my brothers.”

“No, but I’ve met mine. Jules, anyway. Also, my dad grew up in kind of a shitty home. His parents sucked, and he had to raise Dallas on his own like some kind of teenage father. He was given the world’s worst example of how to love someone, but he loves me just fine. And he loved Jules even when he totally didn’t deserve it.” Lucas stopped for a second, then added very softly, “And I like to think that in spite of my crappy former dad, I’ll be a good boyfriend someday.”

“You absolutely will be,” Monty said softly, stunned that some kid had just dismantled his entire internal argument with a handful of words. It was impossible to argue because Bronx was an amazing man, and Lucas was growing up to follow in his footsteps.

And a small voice reminded him there was a good possibility he’d been using his father as a crutch—as a way of avoiding risk and pain. But maybe he didn’t want to anymore.

“You’re right. I need to woo him.”

“Uhg,” Lucas said, wrinkling his nose. “I mean, yeah, but uhg . Please don’t ask me for advice, though. I’ve never even kissed someone before.”

“Never? Not once?”

“I wasn’t exactly Mr. Popular at my old school being that I was a giant nerd,” Lucas confessed. “And people here so far are super freaked-out by the whole fake eyes thing. So…yeah. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about how you’re going to call my dad’s best friend and ask him all the burning questions I know you have. And I can be your ally who doesn’t hear any details. Not ever.”

Monty couldn’t help a small grin. “I think I can agree to those terms. And for what it’s worth, you’re going to make a perfect boyfriend for someone someday, Lucas. And that time probably isn’t too far off.”

Lucas sighed and shook his head. “I see why he likes you. If you want to be my new dad someday, I’m on board.”

Oh . Monty hadn’t expected that. And his eyes were most definitely not tearing up. No. It was probably just allergies.

Monty had never been so nervous in his life. He’d expected Lucas to tell him to call Dallas or Kylen, but instead, he’d slipped a piece of paper on the desk with a number written on it in very fancy handwriting.

“My friend Gage’s dad isn’t super close to mine, but he gets him. They’re both the same age, and we decided that he’d give the best advice since they’re both old,” Lucas told him.

Monty hadn’t realized this was a joint effort, and if people were going this far out of their way to encourage him to remove his head from his ass, maybe it was a good idea to give it a shot. Even if the two people currently were a pair of teenagers.

Monty had never cold-called someone like that before, but he somehow found the courage and was surprised by the low, rumbling, friendly voice who answered the phone. Adele didn’t sound surprised to hear from him, which made Monty think that maybe the boys had given him a heads-up, and he didn’t hesitate to say yes when Monty invited him to a café not too far from his office.

He had too many things to do, so he pushed it until five, when Matthew was finishing up filing papers at the courthouse and all of his meetings were over.

The walk was short, and it helped calm his nerves, though he was a little worried about collapsing in front of a total stranger. Would Adele think he was too weak to date his friend? He knew that was his dad’s voice talking, and he shoved it aside as he opened the café door and stepped inside.

There were only three people there, and the very broad man with the short haircut and Fire Department T-shirt stood out. The man met his gaze, then gave a hesitant wave. That had to be Adele.

Monty walked over and hovered beside the empty chair. “It would be almost like a comedy movie if you were the wrong person.”

Adele laughed. “Good thing I’m not. I’m Adele, and it’s really nice to meet you. Did you want to order anything before we get to it?”

Monty shook his head. He had absolutely no appetite, and he was jittery enough without caffeine. He sat and glanced at an empty plate with a handful of crumbs.

Adele flushed. “Their cinnamon coffee cake is to die for. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I’m not judging. If I could eat, trust me, I would.” Monty rubbed his palms over his thighs, the soft material of his slacks soothing against his skin. “Thanks for meeting me. It seems a couple of teenage boys have decided to play matchmaker.”

Adele’s smile dropped a little. “I hope they didn’t mess with your schedule.”

Monty shook his head. “Not at all. It was just Lucas, and I could tell he was worried about his dad. I didn’t…I had no id ea how Bronx was feeling. We’ve talked a little, but I’ve been busy and?—”

“Uncertain?” Adele offered when Monty hesitated. “Trust me, I get it. I’ve been on the struggle bus about feelings for a good portion of my life. But I’m not exactly sure what the boys think I can help you with. I’m not exactly successful in the love department.”

Now that he was about to say it, Monty felt foolish. Help me woo the man I’m fucking in hopes he’ll compromise his very clear need to not be tied down? Christ, he was screwed. He jolted when he felt a warm hand touch his own, and he looked up into Adele’s eyes.

“You look a little pale.”

Did he? He checked in with himself. His vision was clear, and he wasn’t feeling any of the aura that usually came right before he went limp. He was just nervous, but he also didn’t want to take any risks.

“If I faint or go unconscious, please don’t call the paramedics,” Monty said.

Adele blinked like he’d just been slapped. “Does that happen?”

“I have a condition,” Monty explained. God, he was so tired of explaining himself to people. He was tempted to just wear a damn sign around his neck.

“Okay. I can do that,” Adele said—like it was as easy as that. No argument, no questions, just…okay? Monty wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced that answer before. It was no wonder Bronx was afraid to let these men too close. They were too damn good.

“Thank you.” He glanced at the counter, then rose. “I’m going to get water. Do you mind if I take a moment?”

“Take as many as you need. I’m off work, and I don’t feel like being home right now. ”

There was a story there, but it wasn’t Monty’s place to ask about it. He headed for the counter and asked for some ice water, then grabbed three of the very large, very soft-looking chocolate chip cookies that were wrapped in cling film and put on display.

If he saw Lucas and Bronx again, it would be a very small gesture of apology for being such a shit.

Sitting back down, Monty took a long drink of the cold water, then folded his hands on the table. “I want to—forgive the phrase, but—woo Bronx. Lucas and his friend? Your son?”

“Gage,” Adele said, sounding suddenly very tired.

“They seemed to think you’d be the best one to help me with that. Lucas says the two of you are a lot alike.”

Adele’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “Yeah. According to them, we’re both old men.”

Monty’s cheeks heated a bit. “That’s not a bad thing in my book.”

Adele’s smile got even wider. “I bet it’s not. But you know, I don’t think you were doing such a bad job to begin with. I thought everything was good with you two.”

Monty bowed his head. “It was…until I panicked. I just didn’t realize I was until Lucas showed up. I…” Monty paused, licking his lips nervously. “I like him. And liking him is breaking all the rules.”

Adele cocked his head to the side and studied Monty for a second. “Is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Bronx told me he’s into you. I know you two had an…arrangement, but it seems to me the two of you blurred that line almost immediately.”

They had. There was no denying that. They were friends, yes. They had benefits, yes. But they acted like a couple in bed—and even out of bed. Bronx had declared himself boyfriend in front of Monty’s dad and hadn’t taken it back. He’d stood beside him and let him stand up for himself and had an almost supernatural ability to sense when Monty needed more support.

And he’d never, ever made him feel like he was a burden or a freak—the one thing Monty had been most afraid of.

He could only hope that he’d been those same things for Bronx too. But they’d avoided talking about this like the plague, and that was where they’d both failed.

“So just…talk to him?”

Adele chuckled. “Yeah, hon. Maybe cook him dinner, buy him flowers…his ex was a real shithead. He doesn’t need it, but Bronx might appreciate a little romance here and there.”

Monty could do that. He could more than do that. He’d be turning this entire thing on its head and changing their dynamic, but he could also ensure that Bronx felt appreciated and adored every second Monty was allowed in his life.

“Do you happen to know what his favorite flower is?” Monty chanced.

Adele shook his head, still smiling. “No, darlin’. But you can’t go wrong with a friendly mixed bouquet. I’ve gotten one once, and it was…nice. It was really, really nice.”