Lucky 33 (Love in the District #2)

18. Bombs Away

CHAPTER 18

BOMBS AWAY

S hutting off her brain had worked for a while, but Amy was still acting closed off. Drew had picked up on it and was giving off a hint of nervousness around her. They were still spending all their free time together, but Amy felt like something had shifted between them and she couldn’t shake it off.

“Are you okay? You’ve been acting really off lately,” Drew asked.

“I’m fine. Also, how would you really know what off is for me? We haven’t known each other that long.”

“Whoa,” Drew said, holding up his hands. “Where is this coming from?”

“What do you mean?” Amy asked in an irritated tone.

“Did I do something?”

“Nope, you’re perfect,” Amy said without a hint of sarcasm.

“Um, then what’s the problem? I hate you being unhappy, but I don’t know how to fix it if you won’t tell me what the problem is.”

“The problem is that you’re perfect.”

“I honestly don’t understand. Please help me understand.” Drew wrinkled his brow in frustration .

Stop. Why am I ruining things? Why am I like this?

“It’s nothing. Really. Please, can we just go to our movie and drop it?” Amy tried to smile enough to soothe the bite of her tone earlier. Have I reached the point of no return?

Drew was clearly uneasy, and Amy felt sorry for him. He wouldn’t have any idea why she was upset, and she was mad at herself for acting this way. She was acting like she was determined to blow up this relationship and she couldn’t stop herself. Why can’t I just be happy?

“Look,” Amy said quietly, “I’ve been in a mood lately. It has nothing to do with you. I must need more sleep or more vegetables in my diet. I’m just feeling off.” More like totally unbalanced.

Drew nodded, still looking confused, but resigned to dropping it. “Let me know if I can help. For now, let’s go watch this stupid action movie and kill some of those brain cells that are acting up.”

She hoped it would do just that.

Amy: Do you have time for an old-fashioned phone call?

Katie: You know I’d usually be like “gross, just text me like a normal human,” but I’ll allow it for you.

Amy: Now good? It’s a bit of a 911.

Katie: Of course.

“You have me very concerned,” Katie said in place of a greeting.

“Calling it a 911 may be a little overkill, but it’s a pressing matter.”

“Oh no. Are you okay? Is it Laura? Drew?”

“Everyone is fine. I need some perspective. It’s about Drew. ”

“Okay, shoot,” Katie said, sounding intrigued. “Last time we talked, everything was just peachy keen.”

“Well, yeah. It still is. Mostly. I might be getting in my head. Actually, I totally am. For some reason, I can’t shake the thought that he’s way too perfect and everything worked out a little too quickly and easily. Life doesn’t work like that. Or at least mine doesn’t.”

“Let me make sure I understand. You’re upset because you found your dream guy, he loves you. You love him, and it happened without any friction?”

“When you say it like that, I feel silly. It’s a little too good to be true, isn’t it?”

“Amy, we’re grown women. We left the drama behind about ten years ago. Why are you looking for trouble where there is none?”

“I find it unlikely that there really is none. The consequences of missing something really important that I should have been looking out for could be catastrophic. I may have let myself fall in love too soon. What do I even know about him?”

“Seriously?” Katie stressed. “You two have logged more hours together this summer than some couples do before getting engaged. What could you possibly not know about him by now?”

Amy paused to think. We have done the accelerated version of getting to know each other. A full immersion, practically. “I usually am more careful when I get involved with someone, but he’s got me going full speed ahead, foot on the gas.”

“Let’s put the car metaphors aside. That’s taking a turn down a very weird road. Oops. That was an accidental one. Anyway, I want pure, objective reality. I don’t want you to tell me what you have concocted about what could go wrong or what should go wrong. Have there been any red flags?”

“Not in the traditional sense.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Katie, I don’t know. Don’t make this harder.” This was a mistake. I’m getting more stressed out by talking to her about it .

“It’s my job as your friend to talk sense into you. Now, tell me the real-life, actual red flags about Drew.”

“It’s not that there are red flags. That’s not what has me worried. It’s the complete absence of them. No one is a total green flag at our age. There are skeletons— secrets. I’m afraid of those unknown unknowns with him.”

“Have you talked to Drew?”

“To say what? That I want him to divulge all the bad stuff about himself?”

“You’re getting spun up over what really feels like nothing. Don’t bite my head off, but it sounds a lot like you’re going back to your old self-sabotaging ways.”

Amy could tell that Katie was holding her breath, waiting for her to explode over that accusation. It had been a hot button for the two of them in college.

“What motive would I have to self-sabotage?”

“What motive did you ever have? You got invitations to your top two sororities and turned both down because you thought that it could be an elaborate joke. You were invited to TA for Dr. Lindstrom’s class, and you talked yourself into thinking that she assumed you were low-income and in need of the work. Every boyfriend I’ve ever known you to have. You did this to every single one of them. No one could possibly be a genuine, good guy, right? Not if they wanted you.”

“You don’t have to be a bitch.”

“Apparently, I do, since this is a recurring theme with you. I can’t, in good conscience, let you ruin this relationship with Drew just because it’s your way.”

“You’re clearly not listening to me. I’m not acting like I did in college.”

“No, Amy, you’re acting worse. This is real life. This is a mature, real-deal relationship that anyone would die to have. You’re going to ruin it because you can’t help yourself.”

“Yep, you’re a bitch.” Amy’s jaw was creaking with the intensity of her clenching. What a great friend .

“And you’re obstinate, Amy. I’m done. I’ll be here to help you pick up the pieces— again. But I want to go on record as warning you that you’re making a mistake. Don’t close yourself off to him.”

Enough. Amy hung up. She didn’t need this from a friend. Katie was living in the past. Sure, she had made stupid mistakes in college. She freely owned up to each one that Katie had listed, plus the boatload more she hadn’t. Amy knew herself and her luck. Her dreamy relationship was too good to be true with Drew.