Luv (Un)Arranged (Luv Shuv #3)

Chapter 34

Song: Tum Tak

- Javed Ali, Keerthi Sagathia & Pooja AV

Kriti

Aakar: Please join me for dinner.

I stared at the text message. I’d heard the doorbell ring about an hour ago. Aakar had probably ordered in. It was nine o’clock, and I was starting to get hungry. Why did I have to tell Aakar I’d lost my appetite? Right, because I was furious with him.

How dare he?

How dare he just drop by my house without asking me? On the one hand, my heart jumped with joy and excitement at seeing him, all haggard and tired-looking. On the other hand, I didn’t want to see his stupid, impulsive asshole face again.

The moment he entered my house, my body instinctively wanted to jump into his arms. I missed us. I missed his strong presence in my bed. I missed the way he always held me and kissed my neck before sleeping. I missed the way he kissed my head in front of his entire family when he got home from work. I missed working with him. I missed the way we bantered and spent time with his siblings. I missed the way his eyes shone with delight when his mom praised Abhi or when he saw his grandparents laughing.

I knew how much he loved and cared about his family. But was I not his family as well? I did realize that he panicked when Abhi came out to him. But that still didn’t give him the right to disrespect me.

My stomach growled louder. Grrr. I freshened up a bit and changed into my sexy pajama set of silky shorts and a cute top. If he was going to see me, he better suffer.

The moment I stepped foot downstairs and followed the delicious smell of some Indo-Chinese into the dining room, I realized my vast error in judgment.

I should’ve known when I put on my sexy pajamas. If I was here to make him suffer, Aakar had come prepared to seduce. Because my husband had reheated the food and was setting the table while wearing his soft white T-shirt that stretched across his broad chest and bulging biceps and his gray sweatpants that hugged his hips like sin.

Fuck.

Why did I think forgoing a bra was a good idea? Now, he was clearly going to see the effect he had on me.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Before I could think of turning back around to get a shrug to cover my now very erect nipples, Aakar turned and met my eyes.

Our eyes held, and then his gaze slowly traversed to my chest and my betraying nipples. His hand clenched tight around the bowl that he held as his eyes darkened with fiery lust. My thighs squeezed together to try to control the wetness seeping into my underwear at an alarming rate.

No. I was mad at him. I refused to get turned on by Aakar. No matter what he wore or how he looked at me.

His eyes were now pools of hunger and regret, so seeing how affected he was, I strode into the dining room to get to the kitchen on the other side.

“Umm. I’ve ordered plenty for both of us.”

And because I really loved Chinese, and I really, really didn’t want to cook, I sighed and grabbed a plate off the dining table. Silently, I filled my plate with Hakka noodles and some fried rice with Manchurian gravy on top of it.

I sat at the table and dug in without waiting for Aakar.

I kept my head down, refusing to look at his face. I saw his hips moving around the dining table in my periphery as he got his plate of food ready, and then I felt him sit on the chair right beside mine so I couldn’t ignore his presence any longer.

Now, our legs were dangerously close to touching, and despite the intense aroma of the Chinese food right in front of me, my senses were assaulted by his smell of the gentle ocean breeze on a summer morning. I did not love it. At all. I hated it. So much so that I scooted my chair slightly away from him.

And of course, he followed me and sat even closer to me. So now our elbows brushed together.

An irritating growl escaped my lips as I shoveled food into my mouth faster. The faster I ate, the faster I could lock myself in the bedroom upstairs.

Thankfully, he didn’t do or say anything. He let me eat in peace, letting my mind stew in its ever-growing hurt and anger.

The moment I was done eating, I got up to put the plate in the sink in the kitchen. I heard quiet footsteps following me.

“You’re being creepy,” I murmured.

He murmured, “I was just done eating.”

Sure, he was. I’d seen his plate. He barely ate.

I washed my hands and was almost out of the dining room when he followed me. “Kriti, please talk to me.”

I turned around, feeling his eyes on every part of my body. “When do you leave?” I asked.

Determination filled his eyes. “Whenever you’re ready to come back home.”

A harsh chuckle came out of me. “It’s home now, is it?”

I quickly turned around, but his strong hand captured mine. He quickly moved behind me so his entire front touched my back, causing blood to rush through my veins. I desperately wanted to push back in his embrace, feel his heat, his warmth. But I held myself perfectly still. He gently brushed his lips on my shoulder and whispered, “It’s always been your home, baby.”

I pulled out of his embrace as all the hurt and the anger boiled over. “Bullshit.”

I raced up to the room, with him following closely. I turned back and looked him in the eyes. “Go back to your house, Aakar.”

He quickly reached me and pushed me against the door to the bedroom. “You are my home, Kriti. I’ll be wherever you are. I’m not leaving this place. Not without you.”

“And what are you going to tell your family?”

His lips pursed as if he were biting back his words. But his eyes shone with determination and resolve as he said, “The truth.”

My heart beat louder with his words. “Sorry, what?”

He moved his hand from my wrist to my upper arms and neck as he held me firmly. “They know the truth.”

Sudden worry for Abhi had me clutching his wrist. “You told them about Abhi?”

He quickly shook his head. “Sorry, no. Nothing about Abhi.”

As I frowned in confusion, he pulled back and dragged me into the bedroom and sat me on the small couch across from the bed while he sat on the floor at my knees. His seating arrangement didn’t escape my notice.

He didn’t let go of my hand as he said, “I told everyone that we had a fight about something and that I asked you to leave and go to your house.”

I cringed as I heard the words coming out of his mouth. The memory of his sharp words stung me even deeper. My lips trembled as I feared knowing what his family thought about me. “What…What did they say?”

Aakar’s eyes had a world of heartbreak and regret in them, yet he gave a self-deprecating smile when he said, “Maa gave me a tight slap across the face.”

A gasp escaped me. Aakar was the embodiment of the perfect son. He believed he was the responsible one. He never made mistakes. That one slap would’ve hurt his very soul.

And before I could process, he added with an embarrassed smile, “In front of the entire family.”

“Aakar,” I gasped louder. No grown man deserved to be slapped by his mother. Maybe he does.

He quickly bent his head and brushed a kiss on my hand. “It was very well-deserved, don’t you think?”

And before I could stop myself, a tired laugh escaped me. “It kinda was. I would’ve loved to see that.”

“If it helps my case, she also hit me multiple times on my chest.”

I rolled my eyes. “That doesn’t count.”

“And I’ve been banished from the office, and Dad and the kakas have taken over all the work.”

“No way.” Shock had me in a chokehold as Aakar laid out one thing after another.

“I’ve been forbidden from doing anything until I bring their daughter home.”

That did it. All the hurt, all the anger, all the crushing disappointment, and the utter humiliation and disrespect I felt, all of it tore through my chest and burst out of me. Tears poured out of my eyes as I clutched my head.

My heart squeezed in my chest, relieved and ecstatic that I had a new family who supported the truth and the right, not just their son. That they considered me as their own daughter. All my growing affection for them, my new family, and my actions to help and protect them weren’t one-sided. It proved that they loved me. I truly felt like a part of my new family at this moment, knowing what they did for me despite having already left their house.

As I let all my hurt pour out of me, Aakar clutched my knees and placed kisses on my lap. He held my hand and placed kisses on top of my hand, all the while muttering, “I’m so sorry, Kriti. I’m so sorry, baby. I never should’ve asked you to leave.”

I scoffed as a defeated chuckle escaped me. “But you did, Aakar. You asked me to go back home. Without any hesitation. Without thinking for a single second about what I would tell my family. Without thinking about my job. Without giving me any indication of how long you wanted me gone. You just sent me home.”

A tear escaped his eyes as he clutched my hand as if his life depended on it. “I know. I don’t know what came over me. Believe me, I don’t even expect you to forgive me, Kriti. How can I when I can’t even forgive myself? I want you to stay mad at me for as long as you want. Just come back home. You belong with me. Your home is with us. And I was out of my ever-loving mind for asking you to leave.”

Tears steadily streamed down my cheeks. His words were everything I wanted to hear. I could see the regret in his eyes. I could feel his anguish for what he did. But he’d broken my heart. My trust in him was shredded to pieces. I removed my hand from his grip, and a wounded noise escaped his lips. I clutched my stupid silk shorts that I shouldn’t have worn. They made me feel naked and hot at a really wrong time.

I got up from the couch and sat on the bed across from it, trying to put some distance between us. “What if you send me back again?”

He almost jumped off the floor as he rushed to say, “I won’t.”

Shaking my head, I asked, “What if there’s another big secret that I hide from you? What if that secret could ruin your family?”

He clenched his hand in a tight fist, his jaw sharpened, and he shook his head. “I don’t care. I trust you. You would do whatever is right for the family.”

I gave a humorless laugh. “Even right now, it’s so difficult for you to say those words. You don’t really mean that. You wouldn’t be okay if I kept secrets from you. It would kill you, and then, you’d end up hating me or blaming me.”

At that, he jumped to his feet and dropped to his knees where I sat on the bed. He clutched my knees, his large, warm hands on my bare skin causing a gasp to escape my lips. He tightened his hold on me and vehemently shook his head. “Never. Yes, it would kill me to know you kept secrets from me. But that’s nothing compared to spending a moment of my life without you in it. I’d rather you kept a thousand secrets from me than having to sleep alone in my cold, lonely bed ever again.”

His words sounded so fucking earnest, so heartfelt, my own heart pounded in my chest. I traced the veins popping on the back of his hand, one of the infinite things that I loved about him, as I looked at his hands on my skin. I then looked at him as I whispered, “You told me you loved me. Even before we got married, you told me you loved me. Even after we got married, you told me you loved me. Before going to sleep, before I left for school, every time we made love, you said you loved me. I don’t think you know what love is, Aakar.”

“Please don’t,” he whispered. His voice broke, and tears flooded his eyes.

I still couldn’t stop. “You can’t love someone you don’t trust.”

He shook his head in denial, and I gently held his cheek, my heart breaking as I said the words that had been haunting me for days, “You don’t love me, Aakar.”

I stopped him from denying it by putting a finger on his lips, my vision blurring with the tears flooding my eyes. His eyes reflected the same pain, but I couldn’t bear for him to deny this. I shook my head at him. “If you truly loved me, you would’ve trusted me. If you loved me, you’d have never asked me to leave. Never. Because I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. Everything I did, I did it for you. Be it caring for your father and uncles or supporting your brother. Be it finding new hobbies with Maa and the kakis or going shopping with Ria. Every person who I tried to connect with, that I tried to support, was all for you. Every action and decision I made was to make your burdens lighter. It was to give you a moment of peace. It was to try to be a good partner. A good wife. A good daughter-in-law. I fell in love with your family and treated them as my own because I fell in love with you first. And it breaks my heart to know that the person I really love doesn’t even understand the meaning of love.”

With that, I climbed farther onto the bed, got under the blanket, and turned around to sleep. I didn’t want to cry over Aakar. I’d promised myself not to shed a tear over him. But putting all of my feelings out there crushed me even more. The stupid tears wouldn’t stop leaking from my eyes. It hurt. My heart ached so bad it felt like someone was tearing it out of my chest.

“Can I…Can I please sleep with you, baby?” His voice broke.

His request had my limbs aching with the need to be held. I missed being in his arms at night. And I really needed to be held right now. I didn’t want to be alone. “Okay,” I whispered.

In the next moment, the bed dipped behind me, and I was pulled into the inferno of his hot chest and warm hands.

“Aakar,” I sighed, not expecting him to do that.

He nuzzled at the junction of my neck and shoulder, the brush of his beard creating havoc inside my mind, body, and soul. “Please. Please let me hold you. Just for five minutes. Please.”

And because I had missed sleeping with his arms holding me, his legs tangled with mine, his heart beating at my back, and the soft nuzzling of his face against my neck, I nodded. “Five minutes.”

He brushed his lips against my neck and pulled me even closer in his embrace. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. How could his embrace feel so much like love? Why did his arms around me, the way he clutched me tightly at the waist, feel like he’d die if I wasn’t in his arms? Why did his chest collapse against my back at the first brush of his lips against my neck? Why did my eyes tear up even more when I felt wetness sliding down the back of my neck?

And why did he feel so much like home? So much so that I slipped into his warmth when I closed my eyes and finally slept for the first time in what felt like ten days.