Lycan Prince’s Secret Baby (Moonlit Forbidden Love #1)

Chapter 21

Kyle

I couldn’t bear the intimacy between Leah and Roman. My stomach spasmed every time I saw them together. As I strode down the hallway of the safehouse, vivid images of them invaded my mind, relentlessly replaying the scene from the greenhouse yesterday: Roman’s big beefy hands gripping her waist, Leah tilting her head back, kissing him. The beautiful flush creeping over her cheeks pierced my heart far deeper than his touch ever could. It made my blood boil with fury and paralyzed me with a suffocating mixture of envy and despair. She responded to him. She was attracted to the Blood Moon Alpha. The thought vibrated through me, twisting and burning until I could hardly breathe.

My footsteps grew heavier as I turned down the hallway to the kitchen. The familiar entrance to the subterranean cavern where the Blood Moons trained—the only place that offered me respite within these walls. By Igaluk, I needed that ring today. I needed the rush of adrenaline that came from the fight, the only balm against this agony in my chest.

As I rounded the corner, the woman at the forefront of my thoughts stood there, lingering outside the kitchen. Her hair was swept back in a messy bun today, and she wore the pastel blue sweater and jeans I’d seen her in regularly.

Shona, another shifter, passed by, greeting us both casually, “Hey, Leah. Hey, Kyle.”

My heart leaped in absurd joy at the sound of our names woven together.

Leah’s expression, however, was as tense as it always was around me. “Kyle, I need to talk to you.”

Dread jolted through me at the sudden thought that something might be wrong. “Is Lina alright?” I blurted. Why else would Leah seek me out when she could hardly stand the sight of me?

“Lina’s fine,” Leah replied, her eyes warm and open suddenly. Her expression made my heart soar. But she looked down the corridor, where Kade was approaching.

“Can we talk in the kitchen?” she asked.

I nodded, following her into the kitchen. The air was thick with the scent of dried herbs hanging from the rafters—fennel, rosemary, and kiva. My thoughts went back to standing in my office with Leah, the spicy aroma of the kiva conjuring the memory of her carrying a steaming cup of tea. I remembered how quickly the names of the herbs had rolled off her tongue, her herbal knowledge as skillful as Lyvia’s magical arts.

Goddess, I wished for that again. I longed to unravel time, to rewrite what had been, and to stand with Leah in the warmth of that shared moment, side by side in the glow of possibility. I thought of how I’d seen kiva growing in the Shadow Moon lands while I’d been to meet with Alexis. I wanted to tell Leah about how spicy its aroma was in the lush wilds. I longed for the casual intimacy of the past that I’d taken for granted, which I’d do anything to restore now.

Leah’s voice sliced into my reflections. “You need to stop challenging Roman.”

I feigned innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.” But I was well aware that as the Blood Moon Alpha, Roman’s wolf was forcing him to challenge me left, right, and center. As a newcomer to the pack, that instinct would have been strong. But with Leah and I being fated mates, the need to put me in my place must be overwhelming.

“Just stop it, Kyle,” she said, anger washing over her features. “Roman’s a good man and a good leader. He doesn’t need this continual baiting that you’re doing.”

My nostrils flared, annoyed that the Blood Moon Alpha had gotten Leah to fight his battles for him. “If he can’t hack fighting me, he doesn’t need to accept my challenges,” I griped.

“Kyle, just stop,” she said, her stormy eyes locking with mine.

At least she’s looking at me.

The air charged with heat as we held each other’s gaze. How had I forgotten just how stormy her eyes could be? My heart pounded in response as I felt like a man at sea, mesmerized by the power of the oncoming squall. Defiance sparked in her gaze, and the tension between us flared, bringing forth an intoxicating mix of longing and frustration. The sparks that before had always had an inflammatory effect on my barely restrained desire threatened to incinerate me now.

Goddess, how I want you.

“Roman’s my partner and Lina’s father. I’ve chosen him,” Leah said.

Her words struck with the force of an avalanche. Tightness gripped my stomach while my head spun. I clenched my jaw as the sensations of the past swirled in my mind—the warmth of her lips and the intoxicating scent of her skin. My heart tightened as I realized Leah hadn’t claimed to love Roman. I couldn’t bear the idea of her falling for someone else.

But I have no right to want anything from her.

Even though Leah and I were fated mates, she didn’t want to accept me, and a dark reminder clawed at my conscience—I was the one who had destroyed her trust.

“I understand, Leah,” I said, despite feeling as if I were sentencing myself to a fate worse than death. “I promise I’ll leave Roman alone.” I was promising to stop trying to win her attention. I was promising to stop fighting for her.

She breathed a sigh of relief, a softness that only deepened the ache within me. My wolf howled at the prospect of not being able to even fight to win our mate anymore.

But maybe this was Igaluk’s way of finding justice for the way I’d fought my feelings for Leah back when I had a chance with her. I’d suppressed my feelings for her then when I should have embraced them and claimed her. Now, when I wanted to claim her more than anything, it was my duty to suppress those feelings again.

From then on, the happiest moments of my day revolved around helping Lina. It was the only time I could be near Leah. If I was lucky, our fingers would touch as we infused our wolf spirits into the child. The casual brush of my arm or leg against Leah’s as I kneeled beside her and Lina sent my heart racing and seemed to be what I drew breath for. I cherished the time spent with Leah. Whatever scrap I could get, I lapped it up.

The witch had instructed us in the infusion process so many times now that Leah and I generally did the infusions ourselves, although she would occasionally come to weave her incantations into our work. More often than not, Leah used the fragrant pine and wildflower waters to bathe Lina’s forehead before we summoned our wolves’ strength, drawing it up and infusing it into her.

One day, as I approached Leah’s bedroom door for our scheduled treatment, she answered, looking more tired than usual.

“Is everything alright?” I asked, dread tightening in my chest at the thought of Lina’s condition worsening.

“Yeah, fine. Just a sleepless night. Lina was up a lot, feeding. Her appetite’s increasing, which Lyvia says is a good sign,” Leah replied, drawing back the door to let me in. Her lightheartedness was a balm to my worry. Despite the tired circles under her eyes, she glowed with the contentment of motherhood. Warmth fluttered in my chest that I was in some way responsible for easing her troubles and helping in healing her daughter.

I took her in, noticing her hair was disheveled as though she’d just rolled out of bed. She wore a cotton robe with sprigs of lavender printed on it. Her legs were bare. I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking around the homey room.

Its coziness wrapped around me—pale yellow walls paired with earthy rumpled blankets. The headboard of the bed was intricately carved with a howling wolf against a full moon: the Blood Moon Pack’s symbol. A writing desk piled with papers piqued my curiosity, and I itched to know what Leah had written at her desk. Plants sat on the chest of drawers, sunlight brushing their leaves. While I’d visited for Lina’s treatment several times, this was the first time it felt comfortable. Perhaps it was Leah’s tiredness or the fact that I had ceased my provocations toward Roman. Since our conversation, I’d been careful to avoid the ring when Roman was training.

“I need tea,” Leah said, going for a thermos on the desk. “Do you want some? I don’t have any milk,” she added.

It was such a small thing, but her offer touched me. It felt like an olive branch. Perhaps we really were moving forward.

“Sure,” I replied, my voice thick. “Thanks.”

I directed my gaze away, trying not to dwell on the fact that the mug she handed me was Roman’s. I stepped over to the window, looking out at the frozen valley, a landscape that was slowly becoming familiar after my two weeks here.

Just then, a soft sigh escaped from the bassinet on the window seat. A smile crept across my face as I approached the sleeping baby. As our treatments progressed, my affection for Lina had only deepened.

“Are you finally giving your mom a rest?” I murmured to the sleeping girl, my voice filled with fondness. She was always sleeping when I was around. I hadn’t seen the little one awake, but I hoped that I would soon. The news of her night-time feedings was encouraging.

Leah stepped beside me. Her gaze locked on Lina with a depth of love that filled my chest to bursting. I sipped the black tea to distract myself from the temptation to stare at her breath-taking beauty.

“Would you mind bathing her forehead?” she asked, raking back her messy hair. “I’m just going to brush my teeth and throw on some clothes before we get started.”

The simplicity of the request pulled at my heart, but I simply nodded, trying to shut out the sound of Leah retreating to the ensuite bathroom. The old house only had running water on the ground floor. But the filtered river water was brought up to the basins every day for washing purposes. Roman’s words about systems not fixing everything tripped through my thoughts, but I really did hope the rainwater system would help make life a little easier for Leah and the rest of the Blood Moons here. With Lyvia’s amazing tiritich stones, the water could be heated quickly, too. So, at least Leah wasn’t bathing in cold water.

With my stomach somersaulting, I resolved to stop thinking about Leah getting dressed next door and focus on what she’d asked me to do. I dampened the cloth with the fragrant water, gently applying it to Lina’s brow. Holding my breath, I worried that I might wake her, but she remained peacefully asleep. With each gentle stroke of her skin, I felt my chest fill with something monumental. This—Lina and Leah—was what I craved. But Roman’s words from the other day intruded again, “This isn’t your kingdom,” and I fought to ground myself amidst this aching longing.

When Leah returned, her hair flowed in silky waves over her shoulders. Clad in jeans and a cream-colored jumper that hugged her curves, she appeared effortlessly beautiful. I noticed her socks were adorned with little orange pumpkins, causing my lips to lift in a smile. Suddenly, a memory flooded back of Leah baking danishes in my kitchen, filling it with the comforting scents of pecans and maple as the fall chill settled in, summoning a glimpse of a home I’d once had a chance at.

I quashed the thought, wrestling against the nostalgia and my regrets. Closing my eyes, I fought the emotions bubbling within me as I focused on calling my wolf’s strength. Yet, just as I was about to immerse myself in that energy, I felt something unexpected: soft skin grasping my finger.

Startled, I opened my eyes to see Lina’s tiny hand securely wrapped around my pinky, her other hand clutching her mother’s. Warmth spilled through my chest, a surge of sweetness that nearly brought me to my knees. My heart felt as if it were expanding, too big for my chest as I marveled at the simple beauty before me—my two greatest treasures. Time itself felt fragmented as if granting me a glimpse into the life I had been destined for. A profound wish whispered through my mind: could Lina be mine ?