Maddy’s Christmas Wedding (Little Duck Pond Cafe #37)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

I looked up and there he was, standing in the doorway.

Jack.

My heart flipped over as our eyes met. He’d made an effort for the ball, dressing in his dark suit and a white shirt, and he looked so familiar and wonderful and handsome all at once.

I rose to my feet then I hesitated, conscious I must look a proper sight with my damp hair and mascara-smudged eyes. And I was still unsure – had he forgiven me? A hint of a smile was playing on his lips and as he reached up to run a hand through his hair, I noticed he was wearing the cufflinks I’d given him for his last birthday. They’d been expensive and he only wore them for very special occasions. Had he put them on tonight, thinking of me?

‘Maddy, I’m sorry,’ he murmured, and in a couple of strides, he was with me, holding me so tightly I felt breathless. My face was pressed against his chest and he was kissing my hair . . . my neck . . . my mouth . . . and relief was washing through my whole body as I found myself back in my most favourite place in all the world – in the circle of Jack’s lovely, strong arms.

We clung to each other without speaking for a long moment and it was bliss after all the scary uncertainty, and the misery and regret I’d been feeling over the past few weeks.

‘Are you okay?’ he murmured at last, tipping my chin so he could look into my eyes. ‘I thought about you all the time when I was away, but I think I needed the time on my own to think things through.’

I nodded. ‘I’m not surprised. It must have been such a shock for you, hearing my news . . . that I might have the same life-threatening condition Marcus has. I should have made allowances for that instead of getting all defensive about you wanting me to go to the GP.’

He gave a rueful smile. ‘And I should have taken a step back and let you do things in your own time. You were still trying to come to terms with what Marcus had told you, and I should never have pressurised you into getting checked out.’

‘I love you, you know. It was because I love you so much that I was scared to tell you. I knew you’d stand by me. But that wasn’t the issue. I didn’t want you to resent me if we couldn’t have kids.’

He nodded. ‘I know. And I understand all that now. I was hurt at the time because it was all sprung on me so suddenly and I reacted out of fear. But I’ve had plenty of time to think, in between packing away endless crockery into boxes, and the thing is, whether it’s good news or bad, I’m here for you.’ He shrugged. ‘We can adopt. Look at Laurel’s relationship with her adoptive parents.’

‘I know. They’re a shining example of how wonderful adoption can turn out to be.’ I smiled up at him. ‘You’re sure you’d never regret not having your own biological children, though? You won’t resent me?’

‘Never.’ He shook his head firmly. ‘Maddy, I want you to be the mother of my children. No one else. So adopting with you – if that’s the route we chose – would be just as incredible as having kids that were biologically our own.’

‘Okay.’ I gave a little sigh and Jack bent and kissed my lips.

I felt that I’d been holding my breath for a long time – ever since Marcus told me his news – but now I could let it go. I melted into Jack’s arms again and he held me tightly, as if he’d never let me go.

‘I got a letter from the GP,’ I murmured at last. I’d told Jack I’d been for tests to check for the condition but that Ellie had gone with me so I was fine.

‘A letter? I didn’t think you’d hear anything so soon.’ He moved away so he could see my face. ‘So what does it say?’

I glanced down, feeling like a fool. ‘I was . . . well, I was too scared to read it.’

‘Right.’

I looked up at him. ‘Will you open it for me, please? It’s in my bag.’

He nodded and let go of me, and I watched his face. Frowning, he tore open the envelope and read the letter inside.

My heart was beating so fast, I felt quite light-headed, so I moved towards the sofa just in case.

When Jack finally looked at me, there were tears in his eyes. He seemed so emotional that for a moment, I assumed the news must be really bad.

But then a smile spread slowly over his face. ‘Your tests have all come back clear. It seems you’re fine.’

‘What? Really? My heart’s okay?’

He nodded and held out the letter, and I grabbed it and attempted to read it for myself. But tears were blinding me and the sentences were blurring into each other so I couldn’t, and I had to ask Jack to read the GP’s words out to me.

As I heard what she’d written, I felt as if a ten-ton weight was rolling off my shoulders. All the worry and the stress and the heartache of the past few weeks was melting away. My legs were so weak with relief that I was lucky to be standing so close to the sofa, otherwise I might have ended up on the floor.

I collapsed back against the cushions and Jack sat beside me and took my hands in his.

‘Gosh, you’re freezing,’ I laughed.

‘Forgot my gloves in my desperation to get here as soon as I could.’ He grinned. ‘It’s a miracle I remembered my coat.’

‘So you drove through the snow to see me. How romantic.’ I gazed lovingly at him.

‘It’s you, Maddy. You bring the romantic out in me.’

‘That’s good.’ I smiled. ‘Because you do that to me, too.’

‘I still feel bad that I left you and went to my parents, though.’ He frowned. ‘You offered to come with me but I shut you down.’

‘Because you needed that time alone.’ I shrugged. ‘Jack, I had time in Lapland to get my head around what Marcus told me and I know how difficult it was for me. It would have been just as hard for you. I realised that after you’d gone.’

‘I couldn’t believe what was happening when you first broke the news.’ He shook his head, remembering. ‘We were about to get married . . . then this? My head was all over the place, but mostly I was scared.’

‘Scared?’

‘Scared that it might take you away from me prematurely. I was in shock. But I guess you’re right. We both needed time on our own to process it. I wish I’d been with you when you were having your GP appointment and all those tests, though.’

‘Hey, it was fine. Ellie was great.’

‘Was she?’ He looked relieved. ‘That’s good.’

‘If you’d gone with me, I’d have felt more emotional about the whole thing. The children thing, you know?’

‘You weren’t seriously worried about that, were you? The children thing?’

‘Of course I was. I thought you’d want to be with someone else . . . someone who could give you the family you’d always dreamed of having. I know you. You’d have stayed with me. But I couldn’t have allowed that. I’d never have wanted to stop you realising your dream.’

‘I can’t believe that’s what you were thinking. Talk about crossed wires and misunderstandings. The thought of children was never really an issue for me. It was you I was worried about.’

‘But you were so . . . distant while you were away. Like you were already withdrawing from me.’

‘No, Maddy.’ He pulled me close to him and kissed my forehead. ‘It wasn’t like that at all. I was busy. That’s all. Actually, that’s an understatement. You know what a perfectionist Mum is. She wanted everything done yesterday and Dad and I were up half the night sometimes getting things done properly.’

I chuckled, feeling a little foolish now. I did know how Jack’s mum could act a little batshit crazy when she was stressed about things. I should have realised he wouldn’t have had a moment to himself!

‘We were up at the crack of dawn most mornings, Dad and I, to work down Mum’s list of jobs, so half the time I forgot you’d texted in the morning. It was only later I’d remember I hadn’t replied, but by then I was too exhausted to do more than zoom off a few hasty words before I crashed out.’ He shrugged. ‘I never realised how that might seem to you. Because it definitely didn’t mean I was withdrawing from you. I was just . . . well, I was just . . .’

‘Knackered.’

‘Knackered. Exactly.’

We laughed, and he said maybe it was time we went home. I agreed and he rose and pulled me gently to my feet.

‘We should say goodbye.’ I pointed at the drawing room as we peeked into the hallway. The door was closed but we could hear the quartet playing. The party was still in full swing.

Suddenly, the door opened and a couple came out, and Jack pulled me quickly back into the snug.

I stifled a giggle, clinging onto him. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I’d rather not get delayed, talking to everyone.’ His breath tickled my ear and sent a delicious quiver running down my spine.

‘Why’s that, then?’

‘Because I can’t wait to get you back home and all to myself.’

I chuckled with delight. ‘That sounds . . . interesting.’

‘Oh, it will be. You can bet on it. We’ve got a lot of making up to do, you and I. And I’d like to start as soon as possible.’

Another shiver of desire ran through me. ‘I’d better let Fen know we’re leaving. She’s watching the twins. I won’t be a minute.’

So with Fen’s help, we escaped into the night through the back door of the manor. Laughing, we walked out into the snowy courtyard, and when Fen retreated inside and closed the door, Jack pulled me against him and kissed me so deeply, my head was swimming with knee-buckling longing.

Arms around each another, we walked over to his car.

Then we drove home and got down to the serious business of making up . . .