Magic or Madness (The Wreck Me Duet #1)

OZZY

For so long, it’s been me and the guys, no matter where we’ve ended up. Besides the random one-night stand or a clinger who didn’t get the message, we’ve been on our own.

Now, it’s been three weeks since Camila came home with us, and this place is overrun with feminine energy. Even Pepper has made herself cozy here, staying over most nights and mingling with the girls in the mornings.

It brings the feeling of a happy home, and almost everyone is in a better mood with the girls around. There’s always dinner, leftovers, and laundry being run.

The Jacksonville trip seemed to bring us all closer together and heal parts of us that we never realized were broken. I feel connected to my brothers again, and every bit of credit is owed to Fallon, because if it weren’t for her, we’d never have taken the drive, or confronted our feelings about Masha in the ways she pushed us to.

I was worried that Cami and Fallon’s attraction would be like a grenade, ready to detonate on us all at any given moment, but Oliver hasn’t made another joke, and the girls have kept things platonic.

Of course, I’ve noticed their flirting or lingering touches, but neither of them has acted on it, and after Fallon’s emotional reaction to the pressure she was feeling, I chose not to bring it up again. She knows that I’m comfortable enough in our relationship, and our bond, to let that kind of thing roll off my shoulders, and I’d never be mad at her for exploring her sexuality. It’s not about me or us, but her as an individual, and I can’t help but respect her for how she’s approached it.

It is fun to watch the girls sidestep around each other and steal moments when they think nobody's looking, but other than that, it's only their business.

Things have been slow on the job front, and Max is visibly wound up, having a hard time coping with the slowness, and his grief this time of year.

Just as we’re about to sit down for a morning power trip, the whiteboard launches across the room, and everyone nearly jumps out of their skin.

“Max, what the fuck?” Oliver calls out, but I step forward, pushing everyone else behind me.

“Max, I know what today is. What can we do?”

“Fucking nothing, Ozzy. Nothing, because they’re not here!” He screams, the sadness cutting through the air and leaving a dark cloud over us all.

“I know, Max, I know. We all do. How old would they have been today, twenty-three?” I focus his attention onto his family, and he nods slowly, the anger exiting his eyes.

“Carly was ten minutes older, she never let Allison forget it. I can hear their little laughs, the silly fights … I was supposed to protect them,” he cries, pure sorrow escaping his body as he drops onto the couch.

I look up at Oliver, and he reads my mind, grabbing Max’s favorite liquor from the cabinet above the fridge. He rarely drinks, but when the memories of his family come flooding back, or it’s any of their birthdays, we save the scotch just for him.

He’s our leader, strong enough to carry us all through our bullshit day in and day out, but today is a rare occasion where we have to band together to lessen his load.

“They’re lucky to have you as a big brother, Max. When was the last time you talked to Carly and Allison? It helped when we talked to Masha,” I offer, but he sits up quickly, a fire lit in his eyes.

“Fuck off, Ozzy. That reverse psychology shit worked on you all, but not me. I’m meant to drown in my guilt, there is no escape for me.”

“Alright, big guy. It’ll be alright, Carly and Allison would’ve been twenty-three today, tell me what you would do to celebrate with them,” Oliver says, sitting next to Max on the couch, handing him a glass of scotch with ice.

I wave Lex over, an idea forming that may cure the sadness, guilt, and pure loss threatening to take Max all the way under.

“Get the girls. Let’s make this a day,” I whisper, and he nods, instantly running off to rally the troops.

Sometimes, we all need a chance to drown our sorrows, and I’m officially declaring it an off-day , wrapping up any work talk, projects, and plans. Nobody drives, leaves, or does anything productive. It’s all about Max today, and now that the girls are here most of the time, they’re about to see how we truly support each other.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Fallon comes over, rubbing my shoulders when she finds me on the floor in front of the couch.

“Max needs us today. We’re locking it down and getting drunk,” I say, and her eyes widen, her faith in me not fully present.

“Is that the best way to help him?”

“Maybe not, but it’s his twin sisters’ birthday, nothing will help him. What we can do is be here for him, forget our responsibilities, and lose ourselves with him.” I tilt my head to the side, and she smiles, bending down and placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Leave it to me.” She scurries off, gathering supplies and urging everyone into the living room.

Before I know it, all eight of us are crowded around the couch, drink in hand, ready to support Max in any way we can.

“You guys don’t have to do this, I’ll survive it, just as I always do,” Max argues, but Fallon shuts him down while shaking her head.

“What good has surviving it done for you? You shove it down until it comes back again, repeating the process without healing. Tell us about the twins,” she demands, taking control of the room with all eyes on her.

My smile can’t be hidden, enamored with how much of a force Fallon can be.

Without another word everyone lets the tension go, and Max sips his drink, closing his eyes as he remembers his little sisters.

“Carly was fierce, like a storm that took you by surprise, and never let go. She was only seven, but secretly, we were all afraid of her. I like to think that by now she’d have the world by the balls,” he says quietly, soft sniffling accompanying his words.

He downs the rest of his scotch, and Oliver immediately refills him, offering the bottle around the couch.

“And Allison?” I keep his focus, shooting my drink back and wrapping my arm around Fallon.

I want her next to me, knowing that death is a strong subject around here, and with the alcohol being passed around liberally, any of us could be the next to break, including her.

“Oh man, Allie was so quiet. She lived in Carly’s shadow proudly, but if any kid fucked with her sister, she would wage a war. Allie was the sweetheart, though, she’d bring my mom tea when the morning sickness was really bad with Jacob.” He sighs, shaking his head slowly while everyone exchanges a glance, willing one another to be the next to speak.

“My mom always said I gave her sickness , not morning sickness, up until I was born,” Cami laughs softly, sitting with her legs draped across Oliver’s lap.

“I loved having little sisters. They wore my old jerseys to every game, cheering me on from the bleachers. Jacob … I was supposed to pass him the torch and teach him how to play football from the second he could walk. The kid never took a fucking step!” He yells, his hands balling into fists, and the scotch glass dangerously close to smashing against the wall.

Fallon passes the bottle around again, encouraging everyone to let loose and drink up. It’s going to be a long day, that much is guaranteed.

“Max, it’s been fifteen years, don’t you think by now they’ve all forgiven you?” Journey asks, but he shakes his head.

“Never. How could they? I lived, and they died, only because I was able to unbuckle myself and take cover from the flames. I could’ve saved them,” he whispers the last sentence, the guilt coming back in waves.

“If you did, you would’ve died too, Max. Chief Wallace has told you that so many times, it’s become a part of all our history,” Journey consoles him, holding him as the tears start to fall.

“I should've visited him when we were home,” he groans, and I shake my head, not letting him touch that rabbit hole.

“Dementia has completely stolen that man, and you know bringing up that night would only piss his daughters off even more,” I say, and Fallon elbows me in the ribs.

“Not fucking helpful,” she whispers, turning her attention to Max. “Didn’t Chief Wallace come to your grandparent's house for dinner almost every night?”

“He did. He looked after me, but after a while, I only reminded him of those he lost.” He pulls a picture out of his wallet, the last family photo taken before the accident.

Fallon marvels over the perfect-looking American family, blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids, all smiling into the camera, with parents who look like they could be snatched out of a parenting book.

In reality, Max’s mother was addicted to Xanax, and his father was a gambling addict who could never say no to another drink. The accident was his father’s fault, driving the family home from Max’s football game while drunk, swerving into the opposite lane of the highway, hitting another car head-on.

Their van almost instantly caught on fire, but Max was the only person over the age of ten who could see what was happening, and save himself. His mother was beautiful, inside and out, but her addiction was nasty, and had her in a chokehold, from what he remembers.

The talk of Max’s family eventually tapers off, with the alcohol flowing, and the vulnerability cracking the armor we all keep around ourselves.

Cami is the first one to change the subject, turning the conversion back to herself, and downing a full glass of vodka before she starts.

“My mom … if you’d even call her that,” she laughs, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Was a drug addict, and she left me to get clean so many times that I lost count. Sometimes, she’d leave me with my dad, other times, just to spite him, I’d be with strange men, or her best friends . By the time she was fully clean, I was sixteen and on my own, living day by day, crashing with whoever would let me, and she came back with a two-year-old. Can you imagine how pissed I was? She couldn't take care of me, but had the time to have a kid, and raise it for two years straight without relapsing? It was a slap to the fucking face.”

“Cams, you don’t have to,” Oliver interrupts, resting a hand on her shoulder, but she shakes her head, the liquor giving her all the courage to keep going.

“I’m fine, Chester,” she says, using Oliver’s last name and shrugging him off. “I forgave her, and let that little girl be my saving grace to a new relationship with a woman I barely knew anymore. It didn’t last long, of course, and I had to bail when she started drinking again. I was what, seventeen when I met you guys?”

“I think so, yeah, except you told us you were twenty,” I tease, and she rolls her eyes playfully.

“At that point in my life, I felt the weight of the world on my back, and could’ve sworn I was thirty.”

We’re all silent for a few minutes, deep breaths the only sound coming from any of us, contemplating who should be next to share our trauma. To my surprise, Fallon speaks up, but not about herself.

“What happened to them, if you don’t mind, Cami?” She asks, holding out her drink for Oliver to fill.

He makes eye contact with me, quick but unmissable, and I nod my head slightly.

If we’re all getting drunk and letting our demons out, we’re doing it together, and I silently thank Olly for always looking out for her.

“Well, it was only a matter of time before the needle was back in her arm … it’s been six years since I saw either of them and luckily, my half-sister is with a family who takes good care of her, so much so, they don’t want me around. To keep Ellis happy, and unaware of her past, they don’t want to complicate things by including me. I have to change my address with them so I still see the monthly cards, actually.” She scrambles to find her phone, the tears beginning to fall as the vulnerability breaks her down.

There’s small details that get to us all, triggering the floodgates of emotion we try to stuff down, and for Cami, the idea of missing updates on her little sister was the straw that broke her back.

“Cams, we’ll make sure you get them, don’t worry,” Oliver says, rubbing her arm and wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“I’m on it, Camila.” Lex immediately pulls out his laptop, and begins typing as we all sip our drinks silently.

“You guys don’t have to do this,” Max interjects, already slurring from his two drinks.

“We’re just talking, and I’d like to take a turn if you guys don’t mind?” Pepper speaks up, with Lex nodding his head in support.

There’s no way she can relate to all of us, but I realize as she clears her throat and begins her story that I was completely wrong about her.

“I don’t know who my parents are. I wasn’t adopted, or anything fancy, I was left on the door of a church when I was two days old. The nuns who rescued me named me Pepper, because of a tradition they had when babies were left, and it ended up sticking.” She lets out her signature giggle, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, and the sadness of her origin story is slowly sweeping across the entire room.

“Anyways, when I was thirteen, the oldest kid at the foster home would get into trouble and blame it on me. I endured months of beatings and hunger strikes to correct my behavior, as they put it, but eventually, I was put into a home for girls only, labeled as a troublemaker, and outcasted. I ran away when I was fifteen, and I met a man online who wanted to take care of me. He was my dream come true, until I realized he wanted to pay off his gambling debts with my body, which lasted for three years. Although it was the most luxurious life, and he gave me everything I wanted, I had to get away. Live my life for me. I was three days free when I met you guys at the club, and I’ve never been happier,” she concludes, taking a big sip from her glass, sighing deeply like a weight has been lifted after sharing.

I never knew what Pepper went through, and although I thought she didn’t fit in at first, she belongs here. Her past, strength, and determination put her on the path of the right people, and we’ll take care of her from now on.

She’s crying, and I watch as Fallon and Cami flank to her side, Lex nodding at me as I give him my most sympathetic smile.

“Pepper, can I ask you something?” Oliver asks, and she nods, that sweet smile immediately coming into focus even with tears streaming down her face.

“How old were you, when you ran away from him?”

“I’m eighteen, Oliver. Just barely, but I’ve lived many lives, and I know I don’t exactly match everyone’s grungy vibes here, but I knew from the second I met you all that this is where I was meant to be. I’m just like you all, even if I haven’t shared my past until now. Alexander knew that once I did, you guys would understand me a little better. I don’t let what I’ve been through bring me down,” she says quietly, the strength evident in her voice.

“You’re strong as hell, Pepper. I wouldn’t have guessed, but it just shows how bright your light shines, even with all you’ve been through,” I offer, and she smiles, thanking me for being so kind.

“We’re all fucked in the head a little, aren’t we?” Fallon jokes, her cheeks flushing now that she’s had a few drinks.

Everyone laughs, and Oliver takes a moment to refill our drinks and order food as no one is capable of driving at this point. We sit around this couch for hours, sharing stories and getting wasted beyond our usual limits. After a while, Max passes out, and we let him sleep it off rather than drown in the thoughts of his family.

I’m just glad the eight of us were able to come together, making this day slightly less painful for Max.

Fallon, Cami, Pepper, and Oliver are singing karaoke, screaming at the top of their lungs as the music flows through the speakers, and I can’t help but laugh at how terrible they all are.

I scan the room, looking around at these people, and I’m in awe of how in just a few short months we’ve become a family. We stick together through the hardships, and even Journey has earned a little of my respect back, as he’s kept his distance from Fallon.

I decide to wander off on my own, heading up to the roof for some peace and quiet, desperate for a moment or two of clarity after the heaviness from this afternoon.

The air is chilly, but the cold that nips at my skin is refreshing, and the stars are shining down, offering a little light in the darkness.

I can see my breath, but when I dangle my legs over the edge of the building, I feel content, looking at the trees and houses in the distance.

I tip my head back, letting the breeze dance over my skin, and blow through my hair. Admittedly, I’m a little drunk, something that rarely happens, but I’m actually enjoying myself.

Alcohol usually makes me sad, bringing up memories that I’d rather forget, but tonight I’m living in the moment, and it feels refreshing.

Just as I’m about to head inside the door creaks open, and Fallon stumbles toward me.

“Ozzy, why are you up here all alone?” She giggles to herself, and I jump up to steady her by the arm, not wanting her to fall off the side of the building.

“Just needed a quiet minute, Bambi. Are you okay?”

“I want you, you disappeared,” she whines, rubbing her hand on my chest and through my slightly grown out facial hair.

“I’m here, want to sit?” I lead her back to where I was sitting, draping an arm over her shoulder, and keeping her securely against my body while we let our legs hang over the edge.

She shivers, only coming out here in a t-shirt and sweatpants, so I wrap my jacket over her shoulders and place a kiss on her cheek.

“The stars are so pretty.” She points to a cluster of them off to our right.

“Any random star facts for me, my beautiful girl ?”

“No, not really. That’s the North star, though, it shines brighter than all the rest,” she says softly, her eyes glued to the sky.

“Thank you for today. Max really needed us to rally around him,” I whisper, tucking the stray hairs from her eyes behind her ear.

She sighs, turning to face me with a look of sadness in her eyes. It’s similar to the turmoil I saw in her the first night we spent together, and I hate when things weigh on her so heavily. A small part of me wishes I could take away all her pain, stacking it on top of my own just so she wouldn’t feel it anymore, or get that devastating look in her eye.

“I wanted to tell my story, and help Cami, Pepper, and Max from feeling so down, but I couldn’t. I felt so cowardly, compared to them, but every time there was silence I tried to speak, and the words just wouldn’t come.” She closes her eyes, leaning into me a little more, and wrapping her arm around me.

“You don’t have to share your past with anyone, and it doesn’t make you less than everyone else for keeping it inside. You told me, and that’s more than enough,” I reassure her, but it doesn’t seem to help.

“I shouldn’t be so scared to talk about it, though. Shouldn’t I be able to move forward?” She swipes a tear from the corner of her eye, and I tilt her chin until her eyes meet mine.

“A very smart woman once told me that healing isn’t linear. We all move at our own pace, Fallon. Don’t compare yourself to everyone else, it’ll only weigh you down even more,” I say softly, watching as she nods at my words.

“You’re right, baby. You really listen to me, don’t you?” There’s a vulnerability in her voice that she only lets out around me, when we’re caught in moments like these.

“Always, Fallon. Every sentence, every word, every syllable. I could listen to you talk all day long, for the rest of our lives.” I smile, stroking her hair as we focus our attention back to the stars.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure,” I tease, and she laughs, like she’s taken it as a challenge.

I wait as she gathers her thoughts, her gaze fixated on the sky, and I can tell she’s going to hit me with something poetic as fuck, knowing damn well that I’ll hang onto every word.

Finally, she sits up, taking my face in her hands, a sly smile spread across her lips.

“I was wrong earlier, I do have a fun fact for you. There are approximately two hundred billion-trillion stars in the galaxy, and if you’re lucky enough, about six thousand of those are visible on a clear night. My love for you transcends the amount of visible stars in the sky, stretching across the endless galaxies, and reaching the billions and trillions of undiscovered little specks of light. The way I love you, Ozzy, can be felt without being seen or heard, just knowing our connection is there, somewhere in this insane little galaxy we ended up in. I’d follow you anywhere, and find you in the places where the light hasn’t yet reached.” She pulls me in for a kiss, solidifying her words on my lips, and I can feel her love in every tiny molecule held in her body.

“Fuck, Bambi. You always know how to shock me.” I break our lips apart, wiping a stray tear that escaped.

Her mind is a thing of beauty, and I’m left in awe of her whenever I’m lucky enough to be given a sneak peek of what goes on inside her head. With us, a simple I love you is never enough. We wind it into long speeches, presenting our feelings with grand declarations, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I try my best to keep you on your toes,” she laughs, resting her head on my shoulder and climbing into my lap.

“Have you decided what you want to do next week, birthday girl? ” I change the subject, and her excitement can be felt instantly.

“Not yet, I don’t care, as long as I’m with you guys. We don’t have to make it a big deal,” she says, but I shake my head, knowing she’s full of it.

“You only turn twenty-one once, Bambi. We’re doing something big, whether you want to or not,” I tell her, and she smiles, those dimples holding me in a trance.

“Fine, Ozzy. Make it a big deal, but I’m not good at being the center of attention, fair warning.” She shivers beneath my jacket and I lift her off my lap, placing her feet back on solid ground.

“Come here, Bambi. Let’s get you back inside, it’s freezing out here.” I take her hand, leading her toward the door when she suddenly stops, jerking my arm backwards.

“Ozzy, wait. Kiss me. Under the light of thousands of stars, with the moon as our witness,” she breathes, and I never need an excuse to bring her close to me.

“Oh, Bambi. You don’t have to ask twice,” I whisper, placing my hands on her waist, and lifting her off the ground.

Gently, I place my lips on hers, and the lightning-in-a-bottle feeling builds inside me again, just like our first night here. Our tongues tangle together, and her soft moans are the only thing that can be heard, while her hands rake through my hair.

I break our kiss, trailing my breath down her jawline, reaching that delicate space of flesh on her neck that drives her wild.

She lets out a long breath, her body relaxing against mine as I hold her in the air.

“Take me to bed, baby,” she whispers, resting her head on my shoulder.

I carry us back inside, through the dealership, and back to our room. The photos littered on the walls keep growing, with Fallon adding a few from our Jacksonville trip to the existing collage.

It’s her way of creating a safe place for us, a space where we can celebrate our love, and tonight, under the gallery of our most special moments, I’ll do everything I can to worship her as I should.

Tomorrow, the next day, and every day until our last breaths, I will celebrate my undying love for Fallon.

My Bambi, my beautiful girl.