Make Your Move (Aston Archers Hockey #1)

2. Nova

CHAPTER TWO

NOVA

S tanding by my bedroom window, I stare up at the moon as it shines down upon the city. Nash’s house is tucked away in the suburbs, but it isn’t far from the city. It’s on a nice little quiet street. The perfect place for Poe and me.

She loves it here, and she especially loves having Nash around all the time. He’s the perfect uncle who is completely smitten and obsessed with his little niece.

Nash was the first person I told when I found out I was pregnant. I was dating Dane at the time, and Nash never liked him. He wasn’t the nicest and was a bit of a douchebag, but I was trying to get over someone I could never have.

Lincoln Matthews.

My feelings for him were something I never got the opportunity to explore. He kissed me that night and then went away for years without a single word. I didn’t blame him because there was never anything definitive between us. Just fleeting feelings and passing moments.

That didn’t mean I felt any better about him leaving.

I didn’t meet Dane until after I finished grad school. We were both interns at the Aston Space Institute at same time and after a few months of working together, Dane finally asked me out.

Getting pregnant was never part of the plan, and he was less than thrilled when he found out about it. It drove a wedge between us, creating even more distance than there already was. We hadn’t even gotten to the point of defining our relationship. He decided we should give it a try, and we were officially dating then, but it never did truly work out.

We didn’t live together. We didn’t take any of the normal steps most couples did after they found out they were expecting a child. It wasn’t good for us, and Dane was never really interested in having a child. I think there was a part of him that never wanted one at all.

That’s exactly why it didn’t bother him when his job transferred him across the country. He didn’t care that it meant he wouldn’t see Posey. He was never really involved in her life anyway. He didn’t bat an eye when I told him I didn’t want her traveling back and forth to stay with us.

Instead, he washed his hands of both of us. He signed over his rights and left on a one-way plane without looking back.

It broke my heart for Poe, but she never knew anything differently. It was over two years ago now since he moved, and she has never once asked for him. Thankfully, with her being two, she doesn’t have many memories as it is. When she gets older, she’ll never remember him, but I’m afraid of what it might do to her mentally.

The last thing I want is her questioning her worth because of a man who didn’t want to be involved in her life.

My eyes scan the sky, and I watch as a small speck grows brighter before it goes shooting across the sky. There’s a trail of light following behind it, burning brightly before it abruptly fizzles. Even though they aren’t actually shooting stars, it’s fun to pretend they are. My heart beats a little harder, and my stomach feels like it’s floating as I absorb the moment.

I let my eyelids fall shut, and I tip my head back as I stand in the silence of my bedroom, feeling my mind beginning to swirl. Posey is tucked away, asleep in her bed, and Nash is downstairs with Lincoln, finishing the poker game the two of us had started.

Lincoln Matthews.

What an uncanny surprise he was tonight.

Nash failed to mention anything about Lincoln returning to Aston. It really is nice to see him. I’ve been following his career from afar since he left, and it’s been amazing watching him transform into one of the best professional hockey players in the league. He was a little bit of a late bloomer compared to some of the other players, but it worked out in his favor.

There are some who reach their peak at an earlier age. At the ripe age of twenty-nine, he’s in his prime right now.

I always knew he would go on to do great things, and it has been nothing short of amazing watching him. There were many times I fought the urge to reach out to him. Lincoln made it clear that he didn’t want to have any contact with me, and I wasn’t going to press that issue.

All I could do was hope that one day our paths would cross again. That the moon would pull him home like the tide to the shore.

There’s a soft knock on my door, drawing my attention away from the night sky. “Come in,” I call out, quiet enough that Posey won’t hear me, but loud enough that the person on the other side of the door will.

I glance over my shoulder, watching the doorknob as it begins to turn. The door is gently pushed open, and my brother stands in the doorway. He tilts his head to the side before he comes inside, leaving the door ajar. Turning away from the window, I move over to my dresser and begin to tuck some of my folded clothing into it that I hadn’t finished putting away earlier.

Nash drops down onto the end of my bed. “I’m sorry I forgot to tell you about Lincoln,” he says with an apologetic tone. “It happened out of nowhere, and it honestly slipped my mind with everything going on.”

Practice started about a month ago for the Archers, and Nash was having a bit of a rough time. He hit his head weird when he got checked into the boards and managed to lose the temporary tooth in his mouth all in the same day. He had to wait a few more days until he could get in to see the dentist about a replacement, and he’s been recovering from his concussion.

He was going stir-crazy the past few days since he wasn’t cleared to do anything active. And as an extremely active person, lying around and watching TV or playing video games got boring quickly for my brother.

“You don’t have to apologize,” I tell him as I glance over my shoulder and give him a smile. “This is your home, so you are free to do whatever you want.”

Nash shrugs, and I drop down onto the bed beside him. “I know, but it’s a little different with Posey now. I trust Lincoln with my entire life, so it’s not that I don’t trust him here with her or anything like that. I just feel like an asshole for not telling you about it.”

“Nash, I promise it is fine,” I tell him as I bump my shoulder into his. “Lincoln being here is the least of my concerns. I have Posey who keeps me plenty busy, and I start working in person again tomorrow.”

I work as the director of the astronomy department at the Aston Science Museum, and after Posey was born, I was able to work remotely, making my own schedule. I only went back part-time, since she required a lot of my time, but now that she was starting to talk, I felt comfortable about sending her to day care. They had been asking me to come into the museum for a few months now, and I decided to finally take the plunge.

“How are you feeling about that?” Nash asks me.

“Good,” I tell him with honesty. I am feeling good about it, even if I am a little nervous about leaving her for almost an entire day. “Since I’m only working six hours, it’s not as bad as working full days.”

Nash nods. “It will be good for Posey to socialize and make some friends.”

“That little girl is social enough as it is,” I admit with a soft laugh. Posey does not understand the concept of stranger danger, but then again, she’s only two. I hope it changes as she gets older because she’s a little chatter bug and will strike up a conversation with anyone.

“She’s exactly like you were,” Nash says with his eyes growing misty as he stares at me for a second. “She’s a little free spirit, drifting through the wind like a dandelion. She’s your mini-me, Nova. It’s amazing to witness.”

“Well, I think I have a little more sense of danger since having a kid.”

Nash purses his lips. “You have changed, I won’t lie, but I think that’s expected with motherhood. You’re still you though.” He pauses and taps his finger against my chest. “You’ve never cared much for others’ opinions. You live your life without any regrets.”

Internally, I wince. My brother is severely mistaken if he thinks I have no regrets.

There are a few things I’ve done that I would consider a regret, but I try not to live my life by giving any attention to them. Regrets are a thing for the past, and all you can do is keep moving and live your life differently than you did then.

“Things have changed, Nash,” I remind him as I lay onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. “I have responsibilities now, so I have to think a little more about the choices I make before I make them. There are more people than just myself who would be affected now.”

“I don’t know how you do it, though,” he says quietly as he rolls onto his back, and we lay side by side, just like we used to do when we were kids. Nash and I are only eighteen months apart. Growing up, we were always extremely close, and our friend groups tended to overlap. He was the one person I could count on and my closest confidant.

“How I do what?” I ask him as I turn my head to the side to face him. My brother and I could have passed as twins when we were younger. We have the same matching shade of blue eyes, the same facial features.

“Keep it all together.” He pauses and turns his head to look at me. There’s something brewing in his irises, and I’m not sure what I’m missing. “You ended up in a relationship with an asshole who signed over his rights to his kid after you broke up. I don’t get how you’re still a ray of fucking sunshine.”

I stare at my brother for a moment, wishing I could dissect his mind and see what’s really bothering him right now. “I don’t have a choice, Nash. If I walked around miserable and lived my life with negativity, what good would that do anyone?” I pause and let out a ragged breath. “I have to set an example for Poe, and I want her to see me as someone who is strong. Someone who continued to push through the hard times.”

Nash’s eyebrows pull together as he narrows his eyes. “Are you sure you’re not eating mushrooms again?”

I can’t help myself as I let out a string of laughter. “That was a long time ago, asshole. You know I don’t do that anymore.”

I may have gone through a little phase in college where I discovered the wonders of poisoning my body with psychedelic mushrooms.

“Sometimes I wonder if it altered your brain chemistry completely, but then I remember you were always like this.” His face relaxes. “Maybe Mom was eating them when she was pregnant with you.”

The laughter that slips from both of us has transformed into a moment of sadness. “I wish she was here,” I tell him, my voice barely audible.

Our mother was the greatest woman to walk the earth. She was a quirky, spiritual woman. She’s the reason why I followed in her footsteps and work in astronomy. Even though she spent so much time studying the world beyond us, she was always sure to involve Nash and me. She was the most caring and devoted mother.

I was fifteen when she got sick, and she passed away the day before my sixteenth birthday.

“So do I,” Nash admits, his voice low, sticking in his throat from the emotion. “You know, she would be so proud of you.”

“She would love Poe,” I tell him as a sad smile stretches across my lips. “She would be so proud of you too. Watching you play was always her favorite thing to do.”

Nash snorts. “Staring at the fucking sky was her favorite thing,” he says as he lets out a gentle laugh.

“Okay, but watching you play was a close second then.”

“Fair enough,” he agrees as he rolls his head back to look up at the ceiling. “Have you talked to dad recently?”

I nod my head as I look back at the ceiling, feeling the twinge in my heart. Our father truly became a shell of a person after our mother’s death, but he tried his best. It was a heartbreak he never recovered from. He continued through the motions of life, trying to be there for Nash and I as best as he could, but he fell short.

Since Posey was born, he has been much better. I think she helped heal his heart in a way. Every now and then he would grow a little distant, and we wouldn’t hear from him for a week or so, but he’s better about coming back around now.

“I talked to him a few days ago,” I tell my brother as I fold my hands over my stomach. “I was going to take Posey to see him on Wednesday, if you want to come along for dinner.”

Nash rolls up onto his butt and scoots to the edge of the bed. “I’ll check my schedule, but if I’m not doing anything, I’ll come along.”

“He would love that,” I tell Nash as I sit up and watch him walk back to my bedroom door. Nash’s schedule is a little busier than mine, so he doesn’t see our father as often. “Hey Nash,” I call out as he pulls the door open and looks back at me. “Maybe Lincoln would want to go along too. You know, since he doesn’t really have any family, and it’s been so long since he’s been back here. It might help him adjust and feel comfortable.”

A smile lifts the corners of Nash’s lips. “Always thinking of everyone else,” he says gently as he stares at me. “I’ll say something to him. Good luck tomorrow, Nova. I know you’re going to crush it.”

“Fingers crossed I don’t have a breakdown when I drop her off.”

My brother smiles at me, and the warmth radiates from his face. “Even if you do, it’s okay. Everything will always be okay.”

I smile back at him. “Thanks, Nash.”

He slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. Just before it closes, I catch sight of Lincoln in the doorway of his own room. Time stretches, and he’s paused, his gaze colliding with mine. My mouth instantly goes dry, and I see the corners of his lips twitch just before the connection is severed. The door shuts, and the moment comes to an abrupt halt, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I spend the night tossing and turning, trying to ignore the fact that Lincoln Matthews is right here across the hall. The moon brought him home, just like the tide, but that doesn’t really mean a thing.

He can leave just as easily as he came.