Make Your Move (Aston Archers Hockey #1)

11. Nova

CHAPTER ELEVEN

NOVA

“ M ommy,” Posey calls out to me from the back seat as we drive home from day care. We’ve gotten into a great schedule and routine with me working twice a week and her going to day care. She adjusted so well and has been doing great there, which has been such a relief.

I look at her through the rearview mirror as we continue to drive down the road. “Yes, Poe?”

“Mommy, wook,” she says, pointing out the window. I glance over to the side, and there’s a small petting zoo along the side of the road. There’s a field filled with goats, and they run and jump on the different platforms on their own little playground. “Sheep, Mommy!”

A laugh falls from my lips, and I shake my head at her. “No, baby, they are goats.” I press my foot on the brake, slowing down as the car in front of me flips on its turn signal. “Should we stop and feed the goats?”

Posey claps her hands with her excitement building as she wiggles in her seat. “Yeah!”

A smile lifts my lips, and I follow the car in front of me, flipping on my turn signal before we start to pull into the drive that leads to the parking lot. I have brought Posey here before, but it has been a while since we’ve visited here.

She can barely contain herself after I park and go to the back to get her out of her car seat. Her little lips are moving as she starts talking about the different animals. Some of her words still sound like babbles, but she’s very well-spoken for her age. Her little feet are already moving as soon as they hit the pavement.

I grab my bag from the car and take her hand before she ends up sprinting over to the fence. We walk over to the small covered bridge that takes you into the petting zoo. There’s a pond in the center that has a bunch of ducks and fish and there are different pens around the perimeter.

They have a handful of goats, some pigs, miniature horses, a few deer, and two cows. There are a few other people walking around, stopping at the little dispensers to get handfuls of food to feed to the animals. Posey lets go of my hand, since we’re safely in an enclosed area now, and she takes off running over to one of the dispensers.

I catch up with her and slip my hand into my bag for a few quarters to pay for the food. Posey puts her hand under the small door as I put the coin in and turn the knob. She waits patiently, and the little pieces of feed ding against the metal as they fill the small compartment. I flip open the lid, and it fills Posey’s little palm to the brim. I end up having to catch the rest of the pieces before they fall onto the ground.

Posey heads over to the goats first, and I crouch down to help her feed them. She giggles loudly as the goats push against each other, trying to get to her first. One tickles her palm as it takes the small pellets from her palm. I watch her, feeling my heart swelling inside my chest at the simplicity of her happiness.

Her life hasn’t been difficult, thank god, but I have this incessant need to fill the void of her father not being involved. I don’t want her to ever feel like she missed out on anything during these years. Thankfully, she won’t remember him not being around, but one day, I’m afraid it may affect her. It’s my job to make sure she’s strong enough to handle those feelings if they arise.

Dane is the one who is missing out on all these moments with her, not the other way around. We’re both better off without his involvement, but that doesn’t change the fact that he gave her up. That doesn’t soften the blow at all. If anything, it makes it worse.

I stare down at my daughter as we walk over to the pen of deer, and I just don’t understand. She’s the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. How the hell could someone not want to be involved in her life?

Honestly, I don’t think there’s a good enough answer for that question, and I know I’ll never be happy with any answer I receive.

All I have to do is make sure Posey grows up always knowing she was worth it.

She is worth every sacrifice I have to make.

We spend a good hour at the petting zoo before we finally get back on the road to continue our drive home. When I pull into the driveway, I see my brother’s car is already there, but I don’t see Lincoln’s on the street where he normally parks.

My chest deflates in a way it shouldn’t, and I quickly push the feelings away as I get Posey from the back. Having Lincoln here in my space has been the hardest test of my life. It’s borderline impossible to keep my distance from him without looking like a recluse hiding in my bedroom.

Thankfully, they’ve been busy with practice and games and team bonding activities, so that has helped to not have to be around him all the time.

He has a way of muddying my thoughts and kicking my heart into overdrive. I thought I was over the little crush I had on him until I saw him again. It’s like everything came crashing back at once, and I know it’s a terrible idea. A distraction like Lincoln Matthews is the last thing I need in my life.

He’s a distraction that will only break my heart, and I can’t have feelings for him if I want to protect myself. I have to be careful with him because unreciprocated feelings are only a recipe for disaster and heartbreak.

I have a habit of romanticizing things in my life. The way he speaks, the words he says, the way he looks at me. All of it makes my heart pitter-patter, but I can’t just ride on the high he gives me. He’s made it clear that he has no intention of settling down with anyone, and I am the type who craves that.

As I’m walking up to the side door, Nash is walking out of it. “Hey,” he calls out with a bright smile on his face. He pauses, holding the door open for me as I walk past him with Posey following after me. She stops, and he scoops her up before coming back into the house with us.

“How is my favorite little princess?” he asks Posey as he gives her a gentle squeeze. “Did you have the best day at day care?”

She nods, hugging him before she pulls back to look at him. I half listen as she tells him about her day, although it’s a little hard to follow since most of her words are pronounced differently still, or they’re a bit broken. Nash seems to know exactly what she’s saying as he nods along and asks her follow-up questions.

The two of them are lost in their own little conversation as I kick off my shoes and we walk into the kitchen. Nash finishes up with Posey and sets her down. Lincoln comes strolling into the kitchen, and my heart skips a beat in my chest. Excitement swirls in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t expecting him to be here right now.

Posey smiles brightly at Lincoln, and I watch him crouch down to talk to her. She has his undivided attention, and she’s soaking it up. Posey has a way of lighting up the room and captivating everyone.

“How was work today?” Nash asks me as he grabs a beer from the fridge and walks over to sit at the island.

“It was good,” I tell him as I roll my head to the side, attempting to work some of the kinks from my neck. “They’re almost finished with the new planetarium, so I was working on some of the informational banners that will be outside of it.”

“I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s done,” Nash tells me before Posey steals his attention. “What’s up, little one?” he asks her as she practically scales his leg. Nash scoops her up and sets her on his lap, but she starts pointing out to the living room.

“Where Teddy?”

Nash shrugs and gets up from his chair, holding Poe in his arms. “I haven’t seen him all day. Let’s go see if we can find him.”

Lincoln stands upright and walks across the kitchen as Nash leaves the room. It suddenly feels like the oxygen is drained from the space surrounding us. The tension is palpable, it feels like I could reach out and wrap my hand around it. He’s becoming quite the contradiction to me.

I have always felt safe with Lincoln, but he has a habit of making the walls feel like they’re closing in. Not in an anxiety-inducing way, but more like I’m hyper-aware of everything going on around me and inside of me whenever he’s nearby.

“What was wrong with the old one?”

The sound of his voice has a calming effect on my soul, and I turn to face him. I was lost in my thoughts for a second and forgot what the hell I was even talking about. “What?”

“The planetarium,” he says, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Oh, duh.

I resist the urge to smack my palm against my forehead. A warmth floods my body, slowly creeping across my cheeks. “It was too small,” I explain to him as he stares at me like he’s hanging on every word that tumbles from my mouth. “They wanted to put in seats that fully reclined, so you’re lying beneath the stars. They needed more space for that, and they also updated the technology for the screen.”

I don’t miss the way his gaze drops to my lips, watching them as they move before slowly drifting back to my eyes. “That sounds amazing,” he says softly as he continues to watch me. “When does it officially open? I’d love to come see it.”

My heart beats harder in my chest.

“The tentative plan is for it to open this winter, but I will let you know for sure.”

“Thank you.” Lincoln smiles as he finally opens the fridge and begins to peer inside. “What do you want for dinner?”

I tilt my head to the side, planting one hand on the counter and the other falling to my hip. “I told Nash I would cook.”

Lincoln glances at me from around the door of the refrigerator and shakes his head. “Not today. You’ve had a long day. Go do whatever you need to do to unwind, and I’ll handle it.”

“I like to cook,” I argue, pushing off the counter as I now put both of my hands on my hips. “I can do it, Lincoln. It’s no big deal.”

He laughs softly, still shaking his head. “Tell you what,” he starts as he steps away from the fridge and closes the doors. He turns in my direction and starts walking toward me. I lift my chin, looking up at him as he stops directly in front of me. “I’ll make you a deal.”

My eyebrows pull together. “What kind of a deal?”

“If you promise me you’ll do something for you, then I’ll let you help.”

“What?” I start, my nose scrunching as I stare at him with annoyance. “That’s not even a real?—”

He cuts me off as he lifts his finger and presses it against my lips. “That’s the deal, Nova. Whether you like it or not, I’m cooking tonight, so you can either help me, or you can stay out of the kitchen until I’m done.”

My heart is going wild in my chest, and the damn butterflies in my stomach show no signs of stopping. I don’t let it show on my face, and instead, I let out a huff, narrowing my eyes at him. Reaching up, I grab his wrist and pull his finger away from my mouth. I can feel his heartbeat beneath my fingers, and it’s strong and steady, just like him.

“Fine, but you’re helping me cook, not the other way around.”

“You brat.” He laughs softly, blowing a breath through his nose.

“You love it, though.”

As soon as the words leave my lips, I want to take them back. My chest constricts, and my heart hammers harder. A blush dances across my cheeks, and Lincoln stares at me. There’s an intensity burning in his eyes, and his lips part slightly. My hand is still wrapped around his wrist, and I’m acutely aware of his warmth beneath my palm.

Abruptly releasing him, I take a step away and shift my weight on my feet. Lincoln doesn’t say a word, and I see the mischief dancing within his irises. “I’m going to go get changed.”

“Of course,” he agrees with a nod of understanding. “If you decide you want to help me cook, I’ll be here. There’s no pressure, Nova. Please know that.”

I smile at him, appreciating the sentiment. Lincoln has never been the type to apply any type of pressure, and I really do appreciate that about him. He’s always been kind and caring with more concern about everyone else around him instead of himself.

I don’t trust myself to speak any other words, so I spin on my heel, leaving him in the kitchen as I head toward the foyer. Just as I reach the doorway, he calls out to me.

“Hey, Nova.”

The sound of his voice is like an electrical shock to my body. I glance at him over my shoulder. “Yeah?”

“I do love it.”

My breath catches in my throat, and I stare at him like a deer in headlights. He leaves me speechless as he winks and turns back to the fridge. I watch him for a moment, frozen in place as he begins to pull things from the fridge.

It takes my brain a second to catch up before I force myself to leave the room. I’m walking on a cloud, my heart a mess inside my rib cage.

I’m fucked.