Make Your Move (Aston Archers Hockey #1)

19. Nova

CHAPTER NINETEEN

NOVA

P osey stomps her foot and abruptly drops down onto her bottom on the floor. I stare down at her, feeling the frustration building within me. She glares at me, her arms crossed over her chest and eyebrows set.

Her cheeks are a rosy tint, and she shakes her head at me again. “No,” she says in a tone that makes my brain feel like it’s going to explode.

“Posey,” I say gently, crouching down to her. “We have to go to the grocery store.

“No.”

The muscle in my jaw tightens, and my chest rises to epic proportions as I inhale the deepest breath I can muster. Posey woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning, and she has been nothing but defiant and challenging. From what I’ve been told and have read, this is just an age thing, but holy shit, it’s been driving me absolutely insane.

Usually she’s compliant and polite, so when she acts like this, I don’t know how to handle her. My gentle approaches don’t work. She’s not old enough to understand repercussions fully, so when I ask her to look at me and take big, deep breaths, it just escalates things.

I’ve been trying to coax her out the door for the past half an hour, but she does not want to go to the store. Rolling my wrist, I check my watch and see we have ten minutes to be there on time for my scheduled pick-up, and there’s no way that’s going to happen now. By the time I get her out and into the car now, we will be significantly late.

“Posey, please,” I say, half pleading with her as I feel the desperation in my voice. I shouldn’t have to beg my damn toddler to cooperate, but it feels like I’m arguing with a little demon right now. It doesn’t help that she’s been refusing to nap recently, and her nap time was three hours ago.

She scoots on her butt, turning away from me as she shakes her head. “No!”

I let out a breath, feeling overwhelmed as I rise back up and walk over to the counter, leaving her where she is on the floor. She’s safe there, and I need a fucking breath before I lose my shit. Tears prick my eyes, and I walk into the laundry room, planting my hands on the washer as I lean forward and close my eyes.

I get approximately eighty-two seconds of peace before she comes running into the laundry room almost in tears. Turning to her, I tilt my head to the side, looking at her as I realize I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

“Come here, Poe,” I say softly, bending down with my hands out to her. She walks over to me, the tears disappearing from her eyes as I lift her into the air.

Even with the support system I have, parenting is hard. Nothing can prepare you for moments like this, and being by myself makes it that much more challenging. I don’t know what I’m doing with her half the time, and sometimes it would just be nice to have someone else. Someone I could bounce ideas off of or someone to help me navigate these trying times.

I have my brother, but it’s different. At the end of the day, he’s her uncle, not her father. He’s just my brother, not my partner.

Posey starts to move in my arms. “Down, Mommy,” she says, her voice demanding. It’s like she doesn’t know what she does or doesn’t want, and it’s making it extremely hard for me to figure out what to do for her.

I set her down as a defeated sigh escapes me. “Let’s go snuggle and read a story.”

“No.” She stomps her feet before dropping down onto the ground in a rush. I watch her as she transforms into a total monster, having a full-on meltdown. “No nap.”

She lies on the floor, kicking her feet, looking like she needs an exorcism. “Posey, you are tired, and you need a nap. This is not how we behave.”

Posey stops for one second, looks at me and starts wailing. I’m momentarily paralyzed, my eyes wide as I watch the horror movie unfolding in front of me. My brain finally starts to work, and I lift my hands, planting my palms against the sides of my head, right over my temple as I resist the urge to scream and pull my hair out in chunks.

There has been no consoling her when she’s like this, and I’m at a total loss. I can’t stop the tears of frustration as they begin to fall from my eyes. They streak down my cheeks, matching Posey’s as we’re both on the edge of insanity. “Posey, please just stop,” I practically beg, the exasperation evident in my voice. “Just stop!”

Careful of where she is on the floor, I step over her and walk into the mudroom when I see Lincoln standing in the kitchen just beyond the doorway. His expression is soft, his eyes warm as his gaze collides with mine. His eyebrows crease, and he looks at Posey on the floor before looking back at me. That’s all it takes for him to walk directly to me.

“Hey,” he says quietly as he reaches up to grab my wrists. He pulls my hands away from my face and lifts his own to cup my cheeks as he brushes the tears away from my eyes. “Is she having a meltdown again?”

I nod, not trusting my voice as I swallow back the emotion in my throat.

His eyes peer into mine. “Are you okay?”

A ragged breath escapes me. “Nothing I do is helping right now,” I admit, my voice barely audible. I look down at Posey with Lincoln still cupping the sides of my face. “She just keeps freaking out, and I literally don’t know what the fuck to do.”

“Hey,” he says softly, pulling my attention back to him. “I want you to get your keys and go. Go get a coffee, go read a book, go do whatever the hell you want. I got this, and I got her, okay?”

Closing my eyes, I shake my head at him, feeling the tears burning behind my eyelids again. “It’s okay, Lincoln. She’s not your problem. I can do this.”

“Nova,” he says my name, demanding my eyes. “I know you can do this, but right now, you don’t have to. I am here.” He pauses for a second, his throat bobbing as he swallows. “Maybe you aren’t what she needs right now. Let me try, okay?”

Words momentarily fail me as I stare at him, counting three erratic heartbeats in my chest. This is the first time someone has been around during a meltdown this bad. This is the first time I’ve had someone do something like this for me.

“Go, Nova,” he urges as he drops his hands away from my face. He reaches for me, pulling me into the kitchen, farther away from Posey. “We will be here, okay?”

My eyes search his, and my heart expands within the cavity beneath my chest walls. “Okay,” I whisper, nodding as I reach up to wipe away the stray tears.

Lincoln smiles at me. “Okay.” He reaches out, grabs my hand, and gives it a gentle squeeze before he goes to face the demon. It feels strange, grabbing my keys and walking out of the house while my child is in the middle of a meltdown, but I walk out the front door without looking back.

As I step out onto the porch and shut the door behind me, I feel like I can breathe. I tilt my head back, inhaling deeply as the silence settles around me. This is exactly what I needed. A moment to take a breath. A moment to regroup.

And Lincoln was the one who gave it to me.

With two coffees in my hand and a bag of books on my arm, I walk back up to the front door of the house. The porch light is on, and it shines down from above as I reach for the door handle and let myself inside. It’s much quieter than it was when I left, and a smile touches my lips as I realize how much I craved just a second of peace like this.

I was gone for almost two hours, and it felt like a lifetime. I checked in with Lincoln multiple times until he told me to leave him alone or else he’d be shutting off his phone. He told me I wasn’t allowed to come back before eight o’clock, but he politely added in his coffee order in case I wanted to bring him something back.

I went to our local bookstore and browsed for a while, breathing in the scent of books before paying for the four I had in my cart. Lincoln wanted a black coffee, so I grabbed a drink for each of us and sat there for a few minutes watching the other customers in the store.

Posey’s bedtime is normally seven thirty, and she skipped a bath tonight since Lincoln was here with her. The first floor of the house is empty, and I leave my bag of books and both coffees on the kitchen counter before heading upstairs to see where Poe and Lincoln are.

As I reach the top of the steps, I round the corner in the hall and hear the sound of soft voices. There’s a glow of light shining from a small crack in Posey’s door, and my footsteps are light as I walk up to the room. Closing one eye, I peer inside, seeing Lincoln sitting on the floor next to Poe as he reads a story to her. The sound of his tender voice drifts across my eardrums.

His sleeves are pushed up to his elbows and his forearm is resting against her bed. Posey’s little head is lying on top of his arm, her face shielded by the book he’s reading. A smile lights up my face, and my throat constricts around the emotion that builds inside. My heart feels like it’s going to explode at the sight of the two of them.

I gently push on the door, slowly pushing it open as I hover in the doorway, still watching the two of them. Lincoln lifts his gaze to mine, smiling as he looks at me from over the book. Posey doesn’t lift her head, and as I walk into the room, I hear the soft sound of her snoring.

“She’s asleep,” I whisper as I stop by his feet.

Lincoln nods as he closes the book. “I know, but I didn’t want her to wake up.” He pauses, his smile transforming into a sheepish one while he gently lifts Posey’s head from his arm and stands up. “I wanted to see how the story ended, if I’m being honest.”

I laugh quietly, watching him as he walks to the bookcase. Posey stirs in her bed, and I tuck her in before I follow Lincoln out of her room. As we step into the hall, I close the gate in her doorway and leave the door cracked. We walk down to the kitchen together, and Lincoln sits down at the island as I stand on the opposite side.

He lifts the coffee cup, taking a sip of the warm liquid as his eyelids flutter shut. “Mmm,” he practically moans and opens his eyes again. “Midday Drip has the best coffee.”

“They do,” I agree as I take a sip of my own drink. “How was Posey?”

“She was good,” he tells me as he sets his cup back down. “I think she needed a break too, you know? She needs you more than anyone else, but I think a fresh face in moments like that can help.”

“I know she was getting frustrated too,” I say, my voice low as I lean against the counter. “When I got pregnant, I didn’t imagine doing this all on my own. I didn’t think Dane and I would stay together, but I didn’t think he would sign his rights over.” I pause, letting out a breath. “A part of me was relieved, and a part of me instantly felt bad for Posey.” I stop again, feeling the emotion building in my chest. “Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job. When moments like this happen, I feel so fucking guilty for being frustrated with her. What if I don’t do this right?”

“Nova, no,” Lincoln starts, shaking his head as he abruptly rises from his seat and walks over to me. He doesn’t hesitate, and I don’t object as he wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me flush against him. My ear rests against his firm chest, listening to the steady tempo of his heartbeat beneath. “You are an extraordinary mother, and you are doing great. I don’t know a lot about kids, but I don’t imagine they are easy. We are all human. We all fuck up, we all make mistakes. You do not need to feel guilty. You are giving that little girl the entire world, and when she gets older, she will see that.”

His words swirl around in my head, piercing my brain as a weight feels like it’s lifting from my shoulders. Lincoln pulls away, just enough to slide his hand beneath my chin to tilt my head back.

“You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Nova Simmons.”

My lips part slightly, and his gaze drops down to my mouth. Time is momentarily suspended, and he lowers his face to mine. His breath dances across my lips, and my eyelids flutter closed just as his mouth claims mine.

His lips are pillow soft, and he kisses me with a tenderness that has my entire body melting into a puddle on the floor. Lifting my hands, I wrap my arms around his back, holding him close to me as he slides his hand through my hair, cradling the back of my head. His cock pulsates between us, pushing against me as he groans into my mouth.

The front door opens, abruptly slamming shut. My heartbeat ceases, and I pull away from him, my eyes widening as I search his brown irises. “Shit,” I mumble breathlessly, lifting my fingers to my swollen lips.

Lincoln looks down at his dick showing in his pants and lets out a low chuckle as he adjusts himself. “Shit is right.” He steps away from me, walking over to the counter for his coffee as he steps around it, using it as a shield to hide his erection.

“Oh,” Nash says, a little shocked as he walks into the kitchen. He shrugs out of his coat. “What are you losers doing?”

“Nothing,” I offer, my voice sounding higher pitched than it should have been. Nash raises an eyebrow at me, and I resist the urge to glance at Lincoln for some type of help.

Lincoln walks around the counter. “Thanks again for the coffee, Nova,” he says with a smile. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

Nash nods, narrowing his eyes on Lincoln as he disappears from the room without another word. My brother looks back at me, and I swear I can feel the color draining from my face. He knows. He has to fucking know.

His lips part, and I know this is it. He’s going to ask me about it, and I don’t know if I should lie or tell the truth.

“Where’s my coffee?”

I stare at him, my brain taking a second to register what he actually said. “What?”

“You didn’t get me one?”

“Um—no,” I say, feeling a little thrown off because I cannot read my brother’s expression at all right now. My eyebrows tug together as I tilt my head to the side.

His face cracks, and he lets out a laugh, simultaneously shaking his head. “I’m just kidding,” he says, waving his hand dismissively. “I shouldn’t drink caffeine this late anyway.”

My face relaxes, and I laugh with him. “Yeah, that’s probably smart. You don’t want to be up all night.”

“That would not be good,” he agrees, and he switches the conversation to ask me how my evening was. As I tell him the chain of events and what Lincoln did, I don’t miss the way his expression changes to something that mirrors conflict. Almost as if he isn’t sure how to feel. He doesn’t ask anything else, and I don’t offer any additional information.

I don’t want to come between my brother and Lincoln.

And I’m not sure how he would take it if he knew I slept with his best friend.