Mark (Next Generation Carter Brother #9)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Freya

A big, goofy grin spreads across my face as I watch the man I’ve been sharing a bed with get sandwiched between two drag queens. His cheeks are squished between two blow up breasts. Liam isn’t faring well either. His shirt has been stripped and he’s being tossed side to side as he struggles to keep up with the dancing. Both seem to be having the time of their lives however.

“This is the best holiday ever,” Charlotte snickers, holding up her phone to record.

“Your dad is going to kill mine,” Hayden declares, sounding happy about it.

Charlotte glances over to the far end of the stage where another man in drag is pulling Myles to the stage, Max helping him. Somehow, Max managed to get a wig, and a bikini top to go over his shirt. The things he does will never cease to amaze me.

“I’m going to the loo, then the bar. Anyone want me to grab anything?” I ask, wobbling as I get to my feet.

Shit, I think those cocktails were stronger than they tasted .

Hayden’s eyebrows pinch together as she watches me grab the chair for support. “Babe, we’ll get the drinks. You look like you might struggle to go to the toilet.”

I laugh because she isn’t wrong. “How much alcohol do they put in those cocktails?”

Charlotte hiccups. “I don’t think they measure them. They should do this at home. Everyone would be a lot happier. Aren’t you happy? I’m happy. Really happy.”

“I think the cocktails broke Charlotte,” Imogen slurs.

“My bladder is going to burst,” I announce. “Be back in a jiffy.”

I wobble my way through the crowd, laughing when I see Mum and Dad dancing. Mum spots me first and stops, wobbling her way over. “Oh baby, this is the best night ever. We need to do this more often.”

The flesh between my eyes creases as I scan her up and down. “Have you been on the cocktails, Mum?” I yell over the music.

“Yeah, but it’s fine,” she states, waving me off. “They weren’t that strong. I couldn’t taste the alcohol.”

I should tell her that’s the entire point, but it will be more fun to explain it to her in the morning when she’s sporting her second hangover on this cruise.

“Have fun!” I tell her, then continue on through the crowd.

How I make it to the toilet without falling is beyond me. I rest my head against the toilet roll holder, relief filling me as I empty my bladder.

I’m about to reach for the loo roll when the door to the bathroom opens, and voices I recognise enter.

“She’s embarrassing,” Diana declares. “I don’t know why Esther invited her or how the fuck she can forgive her so easily.”

“Freya has always been an attention seeker. They’re all so used to it. But I am surprised Auntie Maggie and Uncle Mitch are letting her behave the way she is with that guy.”

Hearing my own cousin slag me off isn’t surprising, but hurts nonetheless.

Diana snorts. “Doesn’t she realise she’s screaming desperation being all over him like that? I mean, he’s using her for a hook-up, but knowing Freya, she’ll want more.”

“She’ll want to get married just to copy Esther. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s fucking him to get pregnant just to outdo Esther.”

I inwardly snort. They couldn’t be further from the truth.

However, a small, nagging voice in my head is wondering if that’s how everyone sees me. Do they really think I’m that kind of person or is this just mean girl behaviour?

“I heard Maggie tell Esther that wouldn’t happen. Esther was worried about her sleeping with him for that reason too, but Maggie said that would never happen. Freya doesn’t take anything seriously. She’ll be over him before the cruise docks so Maggie isn’t worried.”

A sharp pang hits my chest and I rub at the ache as tears gather in my eyes. I thought me and my parents sorted everything. The past few days, I’ve felt seen and heard, and I believed we were moving past all the bullshit.

Sophie laughs. “That’s true. Plus, can you really see a guy like that wanting more from someone like Freya? He can do so much better. Danny made the right choice in choosing Esther. Freya’s a bitch to everyone and so embarrassing.”

The door opens again, and I wait for their voices to drift away before wiping myself. I make quick work of washing my hands. My breath hitches when I glance in the mirror, seeing my makeup smudge from my tears.

There is no way I can go back out there and face everyone. The logical part of me knows they all don’t think that way about me, but the embarrassment of the words Sophie and Diana spoke, still stings.

I have to get away. I need to be alone. To clean up. To escape their watchful gazes.

Walking out with the intent of going back to my room, I’m not watching where I’m going and end up knocking into someone.

“Freya?” Danny calls, his fingers tightening on my arms.

I glance up, fighting back tears as I knock his hands away. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol, or that the walls I built around my heart are no longer there, but it’s like years of hurt are finally hitting me.

“What happened? Did that guy hurt you?”

Of course that is what he’d think .

He cups my cheek, searching my gaze. “Should I get your sister and parents?”

For a moment, I feel like I have my friend from school back. But then I remember everything he has done and caused. How his actions caused a momentous change in my life. The reminder brings me back to the present and I push his hands away. “Did you ever care about what your relationship with my sister would do to me? And I don’t mean in the sense that I’m your ex-girlfriend. I’m talking about what it would do to my relationship with my sister, my parents, or about what people would say to me or about me behind my back? Was your goal all along to isolate me from them? Was it all just a game to punish me?”

“Honestly?” When I nod, he continues. “At first, I thought it would hurt you like you hurt me. But that’s not why I got with your sister. I love her, and I will do anything to make her happy. I can’t help how others feel.”

“But you could have put them straight. You could have done a lot of things, but instead, you watched as I withdrew more and more from everyone. None of you did anything to help me. Hell, people are hating me for what you two did to me . I didn’t break up with you. I didn’t make it difficult for you two to be together. I wasn’t the one who cheated. Yet people will happily burn me at the stake for just being your ex, like I’m the one who did you wrong.”

“Is this why you are upset?” he asks. “I thought we were over this.”

He really doesn’t get it. I never expected him to. He never did before. Yet it still feels like it’s his fault. Maybe not entirely his; everyone played their own part. But I’m the only one, after all these years, who is still suffering from the fallout.

“So did I, but when you hear people shit-talking about you in the bathroom, it makes a girl re-evaluate the situation. So go back to my family and tell them the next time my name enters their mouths, to make sure I’m there first, since no one has my back anymore,” I snap, sniffling.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Mark asks, stepping up beside me. He sees my face, and his jaw locks as he wraps an arm around my shoulder. Breathing in his cologne settles something inside of me. “What did you say to her?”

Danny holds his hands up. “Nothing. I asked if she was okay.”

Mark snorts. “Really? You sure you weren’t hanging around here to get some alone time?”

“If you have to worry about anyone still having feelings, you’re asking the wrong person. I’m not the one still hanging onto the past.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Mark snaps.

“You know what,” I growl as I glance to Danny. “For someone so smart you can be so fucking stupid. That wasn’t what I was getting at and you know it. So thank you for asking if I was okay, but from now on just leave me the fuck alone.” I look up at Mark when Danny leaves with a huff. “I’m heading back to my room. Will you tell your family I’m sorry for skipping out, for me?”

“I’ll come with you,” he assures me.

“Mark, it’s fine. Don’t let me ruin your night, and no offence, but I’m really not in the mood for sex.”

His lips tighten. “If you’re under the impression I only want you for sex, then you aren’t paying close enough attention. I would have thought you knew me better than that.”

I close my eyes, letting my head fall forward. “I’m sorry.”

He takes my hand. “Come on, let’s go back to your room.”

*** *** ***

Mark is lying on the bed when I walk out the bathroom after my shower. One hand is cocked behind his head, his focus on the television until he notices me.

“Feel better?”

Much. It’s also sobered me up a little. “Much.”

He pats the bed beside him. “Come watch Spiderman with me.”

“Which one?” I question, arching an eyebrow.

“Duh, the one with Andrew Garfield in of course.”

I smile as I flop down next to him. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the storylines in Tom Holland’s version, but I love Andrew’s more. Tobey reminds me of a…”

“A serial killer who likes to creep through women’s windows?” he finishes when I can’t find the words.

I laugh. “Yes. It’s the eyes.”

He shudders. “Freaks me out.” He puts his arm around me when I lay down next him. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

I sink my face into his chest, groaning. “I feel embarrassed. I don’t even know why I got so emotional about it. I never let shit people say get to me, so I’ve got no idea why I let it get to me this time.”

“Probably because you’ve spent so long brushing things off. It’s catching up to you. Now tell me what upset you enough that you didn’t think to knee Twat Face in the balls for approaching you.”

I chuckle, but then groan when I realise he won’t stop until I’ve told him. “I heard my cousin, Sophie, and Esther’s best friend, Diana, bitching about me in the bathroom. I’m not going to repeat what was said because I just feel so fucking stupid. I should have known that just because Esther and I are on speaking terms now, that doesn’t mean the others would stop talking shit about me.”

“What were they saying?”

I lower my gaze to his chest. “It’s silly now I’ve sobered up.”

He tilts my chin up with his fingers, his eyes filled with kindness when he replies. “If it’s enough to upset you, then it can’t be silly.”

I search his gaze, hoping he won’t make fun of me. I know it’s silly to agonize over trivial words, but they leave a scar. “Swear you won’t laugh?”

“Promise,” he assures me.

“They said I’m embarrassing and an attention seeker. That I’m screaming desperation by being all over you and that you’re using me. They went on to say I’m basically letting you use me so I can get pregnant and outdo Esther. Which, by the way, I would never do. Apparently, my mum said she wasn’t worried about that because I didn’t take anything seriously. It was more of the same shit. It’s not what was actually said that hurt me the most. I think it’s because I’m still the topic of conversation where they are concerned,” I explain, letting out a sigh. “I told you. It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not. I’m not one of those people who will tell you to rise above it, to stop listening to them because they are ‘jealous’. People fucking suck, and they try to bully you into being silent. Sometimes you need to be loud back. Sometimes you need to cause a big fucking scene and tell them where to go. I don’t know when the entire world became fucking critics. Everyone has an opinion on fucking everything; even how you place your toilet roll. Me? I let it roll over me. But that’s with people who mean shit to me. You’re getting it from people you love or loved. So no, it’s not silly.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “Is that what you were talking to Danny about?”

I shake my head. “I ran into him outside and it made me realise he’s the reason for all of this. Or the main reason. I get people hating me if I had been cruel to him or if I trapped him or cheated on him. Or maybe been in the middle of him getting with Esther. But I did nothing to him. To any of them. And he could have stopped all the whispers. He must have known what it would do to my relationship with my family too, but he didn’t care. It’s isolated me from them, something that has never happened before. I’ve never been able to do right in their eyes but not like this. It’s like I killed someone but they just can’t quite prove it, so they push me, hoping I’ll break and confess. Danny cheated on me. It was Esther who got with my ex-boyfriend. Yet I’m the one who has been on trial since they got together. I’m the one people are throwing punches at and hating. It fucking sucks.”

“The entire situation is fucked up. I bet you sometimes feel like you are in a dream, screaming at the top of your lungs in a crowded room, but not a person in sight can hear you.”

That is exactly how I feel. “Yep.” I roll onto my back, glancing up at the ceiling. “All my life I’ve had my mum tell me to stop doing things because I embarrass her. It didn’t hit me until overhearing Diana and Sophie in the bathroom that it’s not really the things I do that embarrass people, it’s me. They are embarrassed of me as a person. Because those things I do… that’s what makes me, me. I am affectionate. I do laugh loudly. I do like to have fun. I like to keep my makeup minimal. And I love standing up for myself. But I never thought of myself as acting desperate.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, looming over me. “Babe, if the whole desperate thing embarrasses you, stop. Because I fucking crave you to the point I can’t see or think straight.” He presses the lightest kiss on my temple and my stomach flutters. “Fuck them. Do I give a fuck what people think about it? No. My family may tease me, but it comes from a place of love. They want me to be happy. Plus, we were raised to be who we are, not what society wants us to be.”

A smile spreads across my face at his words. “So you’re happy?”

He arches a brow. “Do you really think I’d be okay with you locking us in a store room, where there was no food, and still come lie in your bed, if I wasn’t?”

I lightly smack his chest. “You got us locked in the store room, you mean.”

“Yeah, but if it wasn’t for you tempting me and making me want you so goddamn much, I wouldn’t have needed to drag you in there,” he declares as he grabs my arse, lifting me up until I’m lying on top of him.

I roll my eyes. “Your logic is flawed.”

“But it makes sense to me.”

I chuckle. “Of course it does.”

He smacks my arse. “Behave.”

“I always behave,” I assure him, pressing a kiss to his lips. My stomach rumbles. “God, what I would do for a Chinese right now.”

He laughs. “I’ll have to take you to this all you can eat Chinese when we get home. It’s the best Chinese place ever.” My heart melts at his declaration and a wide smile spreads across my face. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“Because you’re making plans for us when we are back home.”

He thick, dark eyebrows dip down. “Why wouldn’t I?”

My smile spreads further. “You like me,” I tease.

He rolls his eyes and lets out a snort. “I wouldn’t go that far. I mean, I wouldn’t say I dislike you.”

“You like me,” I repeat, and there’s no mistaking the happiness in my tone.

He grabs my arse tightly. “Okay, I like you,” he huffs out. “I don’t see the point in ending this when the cruise is over. I’m not a stupid guy, and if I let us go back to being neighbours, I’d be an idiot.”

My heart flutters because I don’t want this to end either. No other guy has ever made me feel comfortable the way Mark has. There hasn’t been the awkward stage of getting to know each other because it felt like we already did. That’s how easy it’s been with him. I’ve not had to watch what I do or say around him. We just fit. But putting my heart out there, it scares me. Still, I feel safe with him. Safe enough to admit… “I don’t want this to end either.”

He grins, flashing those pearly whites. “You like me,” he teases.

I snort. “I mean, I don’t want to push you off the boat or anything. At least, not tonight.”

He chuckles. “I’ll take whatever I can get from you.”

“Kiss me,” I order, not wanting this moment to end.

He does, and for the rest of the night, he worships every inch of my body, making me forget the bathroom incident and the shit storm of my life.