Married in Vengeance (Dynasty Rebels #4)

Chapter 41

Forty-One

RAM

The house was in darkness when he finally got back. A whole day of working with Virat and Aarush to dig through the mountain of evidence they were painstakingly amassing had done him in. Stress and fatigue had a vice like hold on his body and his mind was a cesspool of regret and pain. He paused on the foot of the stairs that led to the first floor.

He didn’t want to go up. He didn’t want to go to his room. He didn’t want to lie down in his bed. She wasn’t going to be there and he didn’t want to walk down a path that didn’t end with her. But none of his paths would end with her again. Never again.

I want a divorce.

Pain slammed through him at the memory of the words. She wanted out and she deserved out. He didn’t deserve to keep that from her. He’d taken so much. None of it had been his to take. The least he could do was let her go.

“What are you waiting for?”

His mother’s quiet voice startled him out of his dazed stupor.

“Amma.” He walked over to where she stood and bent to touch her feet. She took a tiny step back before his fingers could make contact with her foot. Ram froze, still bent at the waist, his brain computing her actions and what they meant.

He straightened, meeting his mother’s blank gaze. But he knew her too well. Behind the careful poise was a maelstrom of emotion. She knew.

He waited what felt like endless seconds, but he was met with nothing but silence. Damning, judgmental silence.

“Goodnight,” he murmured finally when it was clear she wasn’t going to say anything. He backed away and made it to the stairs, one hand on the banister when she said, “I had very little in my life that I was proud of, Ram. But you were always the brightest star in it.”

He noted the past tense in the sentence. He knew he deserved it but still, it was a blow. He’d spent his life trying to be someone his family was proud of and he’d lost it all on the altar of ego and hurt pride.

He didn’t offer any excuses. He just nodded once and repeated, “Goodnight Amma.” He took the steps two at a time desperate to escape the cloud of guilt and disappointment that seemed to follow him everywhere.

He stopped at the door to his bedroom, still heartsick at the idea that Aadhya would never be waiting for him on the other side again. Lost in thought, he pushed the door open and came to an abrupt halt.

Her scent hit him first, the light overtones of lemon layered with a hint of vanilla. His eyes slowly adjusted to the dark of the room and he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed.

His stupid heart leapt in his chest, relief and hope flooding through him. Until he caught sight of the suitcases stacked by her feet. The same stupid heart plummeted to the soles of his perfectly polished shoes.

“Aadhya,” he said both in greeting and in acknowledgement of her waiting for him like a stalker with an agenda. She wasn’t a stalker but she sure had an agenda.

“Ram,” she replied, mimicking his tone with perfect intonation.

He pushed his hands into his pockets, waiting for her to speak but it seemed all the women in his life had decided to kill him with silence tonight.

“What can I help you with?” he asked, finally giving up the fight.

Aadhya got to her feet, smoothing her palms over the front of her tunic. “The whole story.”

Ram shrugged out of his suit jacket, rolling his sleeves up and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Was it hot in here? The little red numbers blinking on the air conditioner stayed steady at eighteen degrees. So, it wasn’t hot. He was the only one sweating.

“Where would you like me to start?” he asked her, fighting the urge to put his arms around her and pull her close. She’d probably chop his arms off and then beat him senseless with them.

“From the beginning.” She crossed her legs, looking calm and very much in control. Until you noticed the tremor in the fingers she clenched in her lap.

“Virat intercepted an email to me with the video attached. He tracked it back through the anonymous shadow address to you.”

She didn’t flinch, just watched him with those tired eyes.

“I-“ he paused and then added, “Lost my mind. I jumped to conclusions and-“

“No.”

The single word brought his rambling explanation to a halt.

“Don’t do that,” she said, each word a cold, hard sound in the horrible quiet. “Not anymore. I only want the facts.”

“I thought you were blackmailing me with the video. The betrayal,” he took a deep breath and stopped. “I know you don’t want to hear it but it’s the truth. It is a fact. I lost my fucking mind.”

Not a muscle moved in her face as she watched him.

“I didn’t know what you wanted and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I thought tying you to me, tying your fate to mine, meant checkmating you. You couldn’t take me down without going down with me.”

She got to her feet, slowly, like every joint in her body ached from the movement. “And look at us now. Going down together.”

His heart ached as he watched her, the debris of their short time together lying at their feet.

“I let you into my life,” she whispered. “I trusted you to be careful with it. But you ruined it instead. You ruined me.”

He wanted to protest, to drop to his knees and beg for her forgiveness, to offer penance, to ask her to demand her vengeance. He would do it all. Anything she asked, he would give. He would shred the skin from his body to atone for his sins if it would make a difference. But it wouldn’t matter. Because there was no hell deep enough for him to throw himself into.

Aadhya wouldn’t forgive him. And even if she did, he wouldn’t forgive himself.

This was the end of their road. An end he’d written into their story the day he’d tied a thaali around her neck.

“I know it doesn’t count for much,” he said hoarsely. “But I’m sorry.”

Her hand whipped out, slapping him across the face. He didn’t flinch, although his cheek reddened and stung with the impact.

“You’re right,” she told him, her own cheeks flushing with anger. “It means nothing. NOTHING!” The last word was screamed in his face.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I was wrong. On every front.”

“And how is that supposed to help me?” Angry tears shone in her eyes before slipping down her cheeks as she gazed at him, each drop a streak of acid on his heart and soul.

“It doesn’t. There is nothing that makes it right. Nothing. I can only tell you my truth, Aadhya. I can’t make it right.”

“You married me to punish me,” she said, parroting his words from the day of the interview.

“I did.”

She grabbed the handles of her suitcases and walked to the door. He shut his eyes, not turning to look. Ram didn’t have it in him to watch her walk out of his life. He heard her footsteps stop and the doorhandle turn.

And then she spoke.

“Do you know why I married you Ram Gadde?”

His heart vised in his chest at the soft words.

“I married you because I loved you.”

His head dropped to his chest, silent tears breaking through his iron control as the door shut behind him with a soft click.

And then she was gone.