Married to the Icy Highlander (Unwanted Highland Wives #3)

Chapter 25

25

“ I t isnae true!”

Jeanie’s voice wasn’t the one that she wanted to hear right now. Nothing about having the young lass here was going to make what she was doing any easier.

Ceana had sat awake for the better part of the night, and her body was suffering for it today. She didn’t know why she had held onto some foolish hope that Neil was going to come to her and apologize. She had waited for him, sitting on the edge of her bed and hoping that he would finally come and explain.

She should have known that she was just wasting her time. A man like him wasn’t going to humble himself for her or anybody else. He had said what he wanted from the beginning. She had been a fool to read anything into the rest of it. That was her fault, and she needed to deal with it.

But she certainly didn’t have to deal with it here.

She had been at the castle long enough, and she was overdue for a visit to her mother’s house. Perhaps that would give her enough time to clear her head and make sure that everything was running properly in her absence. That was her plan, at least.

There was no way she was going to be able to harden her heart in the way she needed to in order to abide by all of Neil’s stupid, little rules if she stayed here, saw his face every day, and felt her heart shatter over and over again.

She shouldn’t have allowed herself to feel anything for a man who had told her what he wanted from her outright. Her mother had always told her that when a man showed you who he truly was, believe him.

“What’s nae true?” Ceana spoke over her shoulder, unable to meet the young girl’s eyes.

She knew that Jeanie would want to come with her, but that just wasn’t going to be possible. Jeanie had to stay here with her father, especially after what happened the day before. Above all else, she had to stay where she was safe, and Ceana didn’t know for sure that the village would be safe for the lass at the moment. Not until she had gotten to the bottom of all these rumors.

If Neil wasn’t going to tell her, there were other ways to find out what happened by herself. She wasn’t helpless.

Jeanie ran across the room and threw her arms around Ceana’s middle, hugging her tightly. “Me maid said that ye were packin’ yer things! Where are ye goin’? Why?”

Ceana didn’t want to have to lie to her. Just the thought of pulling her little arms from around her waist broke her heart all over again. “I willnae be gone for long, lass. Dinnae fash,” she said as she pulled the little girl closer.

“Take me with ye, then! I’m small! I promise I willnae bother ye at all! I’ll behave! I can be a lady, I promise!” Jeanie whimpered before she started crying.

Ceana just couldn’t do it.

Slowly, she sank to one knee beside the girl and wiped her tears away with her thumbs. “Why are ye so upset? It’s nae like I’m goin’ far. I have some business to attend to, that’s all.”

Jeanie shook her head. “That’s what all the grown-ups always say! Nobody tells me anything, and I’m always left here in this darn castle all alone!”

“Language!” Ceana chastised before she caught herself.

Oh, how alike their arguments were. Jeanie was making the same argument that Ceana herself had made to her husband, even if it was for another reason. She could empathize, but it would be cruel to force herself to stay here when she needed space so desperately.

“Please dinnae leave me, Ceana. I like havin’ ye here! I ken that I can be bad sometimes, and it makes people leave, but I dinnae want ye to leave!”

“Dinnae cry, lass. There’s nothing ye can ever do that can make people leave—always remember that. Me braither just needs some help with the business. It’s a big business, and he’s nae yet grown, ye ken?” Ceana tried to explain—anything to keep the girl from crying. It wasn’t her fault in the slightest. “He and his cat need me assistance. Ye liked his cat, did ye nae?”

Jeanie nodded, sniffling.

“Ersie will be here if ye need anything while I’m away, and dinnae worry, I will come to visit ye often. I promise.” Ceana meant it as much as she could, given the circumstances. “I’ll be back before ye even have the chance to miss me. Dinnae forget that ye have lessons with Alice every morning after breakfast.”

Jeanie nodded. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“This is just something that I have to do, ye ken?” Ceana said again reassuringly.

But sometimes Jeanie was too smart for her own good. Ceana didn’t want to say anything that would give away the argument she had with Neil or the nonsense that was happening in the village. She just knew that she needed to do something about it.

And she would be damned if she was going to stay here and break bread with a man who wanted so little to do with her.

When her feelings had been properly put aside, then she would be able to return. But she didn’t think she could do so before that.

“It willnae be long, I promise.”

Ceana stood up before her love for Jeanie overwhelmed her. She pulled the girl’s arms from around her waist and finished packing her meager belongings back into her trunk. She wasn’t taking anything Neil had bought for her, so there was no guilt on that end. Everything would remain in this room if she decided to ever reoccupy it.

She hated hiding the truth from Jeanie, but what choice did she truly have?

Fiona appeared in the doorway a moment later. She clearly had been looking for Jeanie for a while, going by the red flush on her cheeks and the look of pure relief on her face.

“Have me things sent down to the village, please. I want to leave while it’s still early,” Ceana instructed.

Fiona gave her a confused look but nodded.

Ceana didn’t allow herself to say goodbye to Jeanie and tried her very best to block out the sounds of her soft cries as she left the room, refusing to look back. Soon her own tears would start falling, and she didn’t need a sweet girl like Jeanie to see them. At least one of them should be happy.