Married to the Vampire Prince

Chapter Six

Silas

The bed dipped under my weight when I sat down next to Grace’s sleeping form. She mumbled something incoherent in her sleep. I put a hand over her forehead and leaned down closer to her. Her alluring scent hit my nose, reminding me of fields full of lavender.

My lips hovered over hers, so close and yet so far away.

“I will… be the best princess… I promise…” She mumbled, turning her head away from me and sinking more deeply into the pillow.

I quickly pulled back, startled by my sudden overwhelming desire to kiss my wife.

I wasn’t hungry for blood… no, that was a lie. I could hear her blood shimmering in her veins, and the sensation made me want to bite her, to drink her exquisite ruby blood again. My desire to feed didn’t mean I had to kiss Grace, though.

Why was I so damn attracted to her?

Ever since the war, women had avoided me, so maybe I was just touch-deprived. A few days ago, during our first night together, I had finally been able to be intimate with someone without them shying away from my touch; a miracle in itself. That need for physical contact must have been why I already wanted to be close to Grace again.

She had not refused my touch. She hadn’t seemed repulsed by my lips on her skin, my cock inside her body. She had craved more.

I couldn’t give her more. If I did, I would lose myself. I would no longer be the same Silas; the dangerous, scary war hero everyone made me out to be. That thought terrified me.

Grace’s role was to be the princess of Estone and to give me her ruby blood whenever required. She didn’t need to be the perfect wife. Our marriage was a contract, nothing more and nothing less.

I was delusional to think she wanted me. I was crazy to think I was allowed to lust after her so much.

I was a monster, and monsters weren’t allowed to be treated well by others or to seek warmth.

Grace turned around in her sleep. I could see her face again, and she had a content, pleased smile on her lips.

I couldn’t help the warm feeling in my chest. I had received reports that she was working hard on getting better at the subjects she would be required to know about as princess. All that effort was why she needed her sleep, and I wouldn’t disturb her.

I got up and wandered across the room to the door. Without turning back, I soundlessly made my way out of the apartment, using my vampire abilities to move with stealth.

I strolled through the corridors of the palace back to my office, paying no mind to the servants walking around.

It was early morning, and I should have been resting my mind by meditating, but I didn’t feel like I could calm down right now. My longing to touch Grace had made me restless. I could use this chaotic energy for work – if I could focus. I would try to get something done for an hour to two.

I sat at my desk in my office, immersing myself in reading another request from the nobles.

Almost immediately, the familiar knock came at my door. Luke.

“Come in,” I called out.

Why was he here past sunrise too? He and I were the same – workaholics.

However, when Luke came into my office with a worried look on his face – a rare sight, as barely anything rattled him these days – I dropped the paper I was holding onto the desk and gave him a wide-eyed stare in return.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Luke shut the door behind him and, with a few sure strides, closed the distance between us, plopping down heavily into the chair in front of my desk.

He wore his black leathers and cloak, signifying that he must have been working out in the field all night. I quickly looked him over from head to toe but saw no sign of blood. He hadn’t gotten into a fight or – if he had – he wasn’t injured nor had his opponents bled on him.

Small mercy. Getting injured and having to heal using his vampire regenerative powers was part of Luke’s job, but I still hated to see my best friend hurt. Killing was part of his job too. Even so, unlike me, Luke always retained his sunny personality despite the violence. I didn’t want him to ever change.

Even though I hated the idea of Luke working out in the field, getting harmed and killing enemies, he was my most trusted comrade so my role as prince demanded I rely on his services. I couldn’t tell him not to do this job. I had taken over the task of managing the administrative work to unburden my father, which meant someone else had to do the fieldwork; someone I could trust.

“I come with bad news today.” Luke ruffled his hair with one of his hands. “The Kingdom of Rosworth attacked the Kingdom of Athalis.”

“What?” My mouth gaped open. “Do you mean…”

“War. Yes, our neighbors are currently at war.” Luke had a sad expression on his face.

We both knew what war would mean for us. We had fought alongside each other in the Rosworth-Estone war twenty years ago, after all. Suddenly the memories of that time came flooding back to me; the long-lasting battles, Luke and I strategizing in the war room, the two of us giving orders to the troops.

Rosworth’s forces had been equal to our own. We had needed to tip the scales in our favor somehow, or else too many of our fighters would have died. So finally one day I took up a stake and joined the battlefield on my own.

The enemies were endless. I killed, I turned around, I killed again. They came at me with a ferocity I didn’t understand. Did everyone just want to be the one to kill the enemy commander? That determination was probably the reason for their viciousness.

I wasn’t sure how long the battle continued. Luke later told me I had fought for eight hours straight while he took on the role of commanding our forces.

I emerged from the battlefield soaked in the blood of my enemies. I returned to the camp in that state, red with blood. I saw the fear in the gazes of my soldiers.

After that night I became known as Silas the war hero, the monster.

Legend said I had killed hundreds.

I had no idea how many lives I had actually ended, and that fact made me disgusted with myself too. Every life was precious, and yet the enemies had thrown themselves at me in waves, like they cared little whether they lived or died. All of that needless death just to support their kingdom’s expansionist desires, to achieve the glory of killing the enemy commander.

Pointless bloodshed.

“Hey.” Luke waved his hand in front of my face.

I looked back up at him. His gaze was compassionate and worried.

“Are you alright?” Luke’s voice sounded kind but concerned.

I looked back down, trying to gather my thoughts. I needed to sound strong and sure of myself. In the face of the new war between our neighbors, I needed to give Luke my commands – not as Silas, but as the Prince of Estone.

Yet, I was Silas right now, just sitting in front of my friend; my friend who was one of the few people who knew how much the war had really affected me.

I tapped my fingers on the desk, upset and impatient with myself. “I’m not fine.” I finally admitted. “Another war? Really? What does Rosworth want now?” I looked up, and our gazes connected in understanding.

“Same old,” Luke said. “They want more territory.”

“Will their hunger for more never end?” I asked.

Luke didn’t reply. I didn’t know the answer to that question either. The King of Rosworth never stopped thirsting for expansion. As a vampire hungered for blood, so too did he crave as much territory as possible for his kingdom. He wanted to swallow us all. He wanted an empire.

At least, an empire was what he had wanted twenty years ago, when his forces had attacked ours.

“If Athalis falls, will Estone be next?” I said into the silence of the room.

It was yet another question we couldn’t answer. Would Rosworth really be satisfied with conquering just one neighboring kingdom?

Probably not.

“Luke, monitor the situation closely,” I finally ordered – not as Silas, but as the Prince.

“Roger that,” Luke nodded.

“And…” I continued after some consideration, “I will go with you out into the field, to spy on the two kingdoms.”

Luke’s eyes widened. “You will?” Some excitement gleamed in his eyes. He seemed happy that we would venture out together again.

However, he quickly hid his joy behind a stern look. “But Silas… you have a cute little wife now. Do you think now is the right moment to leave the palace for an extended period of time?”

I arched my eyebrows. “Why not?”

Luke frowned. “It’s the first week after your marriage ceremony. Don’t you want to be around her as much as possible?”

Were my feelings that obvious? Yes, I wanted to be close to Grace. More than anything I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go.

All the more reason to stay away, right? I was a monster who didn’t deserve her. She would only serve me by providing her ruby blood. I shouldn’t long for more from Grace.

“You just told me our neighbors are at war – a war that may come to our doorstep. Don’t you think investigating that danger is more important than being cozy with my new wife?” I let annoyance seep into my tone.

Luke looked down, fiddling with his hands. He seemed to want to tell me something – he opened his mouth but then closed it again.

Finally, he looked up, a neutral expression on his face. I couldn’t decipher what he felt.

“Just… no matter what happens… promise me you won’t become like you were in the previous war,” Luke said.

“Like what?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.

“A cold-blooded killer that thinks he has to sacrifice his own feelings for the betterment of his kingdom.”

I stared at Luke, and he stared right back at me, not turning his gaze away.

The silence between us prolonged.

I was the first to break it. “Isn’t that what I am?”

Luke huffed. “In the last few days, I've seen you be someone else. I’ve seen you care for your wife. I hoped she would bring you some much needed light and happiness. But here you go again, shying away from her, throwing yourself into another war.”

“I’m a commander and war hero. I kill to protect my country. It’s who I am, and I can’t forget that fact,” I repeated, my voice as cold as steel.

I wanted to believe what I said. My kingdom needed me now, far more than I needed Grace. I couldn’t become someone else, someone softer – not with this war ready to possibly destroy our peace.

I needed Grace to have a peaceful life. I needed her safe in the palace, protected, even if it meant sacrificing myself to guarantee her happiness.

I wanted to see her calm and untroubled, not worrying about any of these upsetting matters that would fall to me – the coldness of war, the ruthlessness of killing.

No, Grace was a ray of sunshine in my life, and even if I couldn’t let that light touch my soul, she needed to shine. I would protect her warm glow.

Luke didn’t seem pleased with my words, but when I gave him a stern look, he said nothing more.

“We’ll go into the field tomorrow. Let’s get some rest for now,” I said.

Luke lowered his head. “As you command, my liege.”

When he spoke to me not as a friend but as my subordinate, my heart felt even colder.

This is what you wanted, Silas. Don’t be silly, don’t get distracted. The safety of Grace and the kingdom is what matters most.

If another war came to our doorstep and I had to fight and kill again, what would Grace think of me then? If she saw the monster in me… would she push me away? Would she run from me with tears in her eyes?

Yes, I was sure all of those things would happen.

I had to prepare my heart for the loss of Grace’s warmth; a warmth I had only experienced once so far but already cared for dearly.

If I had to destroy my heart in the process of protecting everyone, so be it.