Master A-0011 (Garden of the Gods #11)

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F our days.

Eight.

Twelve.

More.

If I thought the minutes were long, it didn’t compare to the silent days of routine and lessons. A butcher came. A chef. I learned the easiest way to remove limbs. I was shown how to peel back the skin. They took turns teaching me how my Master liked his meals. How to cook the different recipes and which body part was best for each one. The beginning was hard. Especially when I knew what I was handling, but eating was the hardest. I still couldn’t stomach a quarter of my plate when I knew who I was eating. But I couldn’t not eat. That was an insult. My Master was giving me a chance, and I couldn’t screw this up now. Not when I knew how hard it was for Ethan to keep me around to begin with. He refused to talk to me. That didn’t stop him from staring, but he hadn’t touched me again. Maybe I was right and the alcohol was to blame for his behavior. That had to be it. He regretted what happened, and now that he’d tasted me like he wanted, it was done. So…why did that bother me? Why did his withdrawal hurt? It was a blessing, wasn’t it? It was exactly what I had hoped for… wasn’t it?

“No-no-no.” Arms flew up in panic at my side, and my eyes widened as I froze. The herbs fell into the mixture for the roast, and pain webbed over the back of my hand from the thin cane the man hit me with. I jerked my hands to my chest, wincing through the throbbing pain and tears that welled in my eyes…again. From the warmth under my palm, I knew he’d finally broken the skin. Was I ever going to learn? I couldn’t think. Not about food.

“After the sauce. After . Three times now. Are you stupid, slave?”

“ Hey! ”

The roar from the front door had me jumping all over again. The rage on Ethan’s face left me wanting to run and hide, but there was nowhere to go.

“Master Eleven, I apologize. We’re almost finished. I’m afraid this slave ?—”

“Get the fuck out of my apartment before I shove that stick through your throat. You’re released.”

“B-But Master.”

“It’s my fault,” I rushed out as he walked closer. “He’s a good teacher, I’m just messing everything up.”

The chef looked between us. The short span of time was all it took for Ethan to lunge forward and close the distance. He ripped the cane from the chef, rearing back and connecting right across the man’s face. Not once. Twice. Three times.

Whack! Whack! Whack!

Wood exploded and screams had me torn on what to do. Compassion begged me to help, training left me rigid as I kept my place.

“If I ever see you again—” Ethan didn’t finish as he drug the man forward. He grabbed the knife I’d been cutting with, turning back to the chef to flatten his hand on the counter. The impact left a smacking sound as the blade connected with marble. I managed not to jump back as fingers rolled off the surface and onto the floor towards my feet. “You’re so lucky I don’t kill you. If you get near Pearl again, I will eat you alive. Literally! Touch her, and I’ll be the nightmare you can’t wake up from. Get it? ”

Yells continued as the man tried to swipe his fingers. Ethan kicked him in his chest, sending the chef grunting and crashing to the ground.

“Those belong to Pearl now. Get the fuck out of our apartment.”

The chef scrambled to his feet, holding his bleeding hand at his chest as he raced for the door. It slammed behind him, kicking me into action as I dove down to pick up the fingers. Large hands grasped my sides before I could reach, lifting me to stand. My lips parted as my gaze met Ethan’s, but he seemed just as speechless as me.

“It was my fault,” I said, lowly. “I’m sorry.”

He still didn’t speak as he brought up my hand. His forehead crinkled and he let out a breath, shaking his head.

“You’re already so swollen and bruised. How many times did he hit you today?”

“Maybe four?”

He cursed, his jaw tightening as he continued to stare at my hand resting over his palm.

“This is my fault. I should have known not to leave you alone with him…or anyone. Not here. It could have been worse.” He stopped. “I’m going to have to think differently when it comes to you. I guess this will be a learning process.”

“I’ll make it easier, Master. I’m trying. I’ll try harder.” At his silence, I shifted, watching how he still stared down at our hands. “Are you still thinking of sending me back?”

Only then did his eyes lift to mine.

“I’m afraid there’s no going back anymore, Pearl.”

I almost smiled. Almost. I couldn’t think of anything worse than the solitude of the crow cells or the disgusting bullying of the guards, but it wasn’t easy here either. I was starving yet sick at the thought of eating, and there was nothing I could do about that.

“So, you’re giving me a chance to prove myself? A real chance?”

My happiness leaked through my words, but my Master didn’t seem relieved or even satisfied with my reaction. If anything, he looked uncertain.

“Pearl, we need to talk.”

“Alright.” I glanced to the food on the counter. “May I throw this roast in the oven first? I’m afraid it won’t be as good as the one you usually eat, but I promise to do better on the next one.”

He gestured, and I rushed over, trying to figure out what he wanted to talk to me about that was so important. What could possibly be making him appear…nervous? Was the Main Master finding me someone else? Is that why I wasn’t going back to the cells?

Putting the lid on and opening the oven, I slid in the large pan, turning to face the man who’d spent the last two weeks avoiding me like the plague. If I wanted to be honest with myself, he still looked like he wanted to run. But it couldn’t be fear. I didn’t get that impression. No…regret.

I slowly walked back towards him.

Yes, I kept going back to that. Regret is what it must have been. It was the most plausible answer. He needed to keep me as a cook and housekeeper, but now he had to look at me. After what he’d done…it was probably too much.

“Master, before you begin.”

“If this is another apology, Pearl, save it. You have nothing to apologize for.”

I slowed just as I approached the sofa he pointed to.

“I think I know what this is about. I won’t apologize. I warned you. I knew it would come to this, and I understand.”

Ethan lowered to the sofa waiting for me to sit.

“I’m not following. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

My fingers interlaced as I sat straight on the edge of the beige leather sofa, not a cushion away from him.

“What happened between us. I knew you’d regret it, and that’s okay. Just please don’t send me away or give me to someone else because of it. If it makes you uncomfortable to see me, you don’t have to keep leaving. I spent years in a cell a little smaller than the bedroom. I can stay back there while you have your space up here. I don’t mind.”

“You think I regret what happened?”

My lips parted as I took in his sincere confusion.

“You’re gone a lot. You don’t talk to me. I assumed?—”

“You have to stop doing that.”

“But something’s wrong. You’re…different. You went from.” I paused. “Intense to dismissive. Are you giving me to someone else? Is that why the Main Master was here?”

Ethan’s knees turned more in my direction. He was wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a shirt a shade darker than the green of his eyes. To say he was dreamy was an understatement. Especially with whatever dilemma was causing him to run his fingers through his dark hair.

“Pearl, I know who you are.”

Again, my mouth parted, but words were hard to come by at the unexpected statement.

“I told you who I was.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I know who you are. I know your father is Quincy Mallory. I know he married a bitch of a woman name Vicki Fonteau. She has a daughter named Susan. They call her Sissy. She’s your stepsister.”

Was I standing? I barely recalled shooting to my feet.

“How do you know that?”

“Pearl, sit down. It’s okay.”

My fingers were back to twisting. Back to wringing as I clung to the pale-yellow dress I wore.

“Don’t mention their names again. I don’t want to hear about them. I don’t want to think about them. They’re not here, are they? They’re not coming for me .”

It wasn’t a question. More a statement as I tried to get myself to sit. I couldn’t.

“Calm. They’re not here. Not yet.”

Yet? Pounding erupted in my ears, a wish-wash thumping that I couldn’t hear past. I cleared my throat, turning my head and closing my eyes as I tried to swallow the sickness that had me wanting to gag. Pressure gripped my arm in a soft hold, and I opened my lips, gasping as I realized I had forgotten to breathe. I was shaking. I was more than angry. A mix of heartbreak and rage blew up like a bomb in my chest, rattling my insides like a live grenade. More explosions. More panic and gasps.

“Pearl, look at me. Pearl .”

My eyes lifted, taking in a blurry Ethan as he stepped closer. The tears wouldn’t be contained, and I didn’t even try to stop them. It was an impossible task as my past slapped me across the face. It was a past I couldn’t bear to think about. None of them. I never wanted to think of who I was back then ever again. I couldn’t. The pain. The hurt . The screams. The grew louder in the distance with every breath.

“Jesus, I’m going to enjoy what’s coming. Let’s not worry about them now. Keep looking at me.” His hands cupped my face, and he kept his stare level with mine. “They hurt you. They won’t ever again. No one is going to hurt you anymore, okay? Not them. Not some fucking chef.”

“What about you?”

At my question, Ethan got quiet.

“Maybe me. Not in a way you won’t consent to. Or…” Again, he went silent. “Maybe you won’t want this. Not that you have a choice anymore. I’m afraid I didn’t leave you one.”

At his phone ringing, Ethan paused, holding his hand up as he stood and pulled it from his jeans pocket.

“Shit. I have to take this. Give me a moment.” He hit the button before I could answer, pacing but staring at me as he did. “Main Master. Yeah. I was about to.” A pause. “I’ve already contacted them. They’re preparing. I want the transition to be a quick one. I see no point in wasting time.” Ethan made an abrupt stop, tearing his eyes from me as a glare appeared. “I’m not overly rushing; I’m just not procrastinating on the little things. We’ve met almost every day and talked about this. We have a plan; I’m just putting it into action now instead of later.” His head shook but his shoulders went lax as he seemed to relax a little. “Of course. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I have a movie coming up and we’ll be filming internationally. I want to take her. To do that—” He nodded, and my heart was in my throat. His eyes came back to me, and the floor seemed to fall out from under my feet. “Marry her, I know.”

I was lowering to sit on the sofa, not able to stop the sickness swelling in my stomach. He was getting rid of me. Marriage? He was getting married? He was serious with someone else? And he did that with me? It was merely taste, but…it was something to me .

It could have been worse.

The thought was a relief and a regret in one. I had no reason to feel rage or betrayal at a stranger, but I did. I had no rights. No say. The fear of abandonment I harbored didn’t care. I had always been quiet and passive, but the longer I stared at the man who fed me lies, the more the uncontrollable betrayal grew.

Had I really believed his looks of awe, his silent pleas of want, all those days he refused to talk to me? His display of want for me that first night?

Stupid, stupid girl.

I was the discarded.

The grotesque.

The epitome of embarrassment.

Cannibal, cheating, heart-killing liar!

My shoulders went back as I sat straighter. My head didn’t go down. I didn’t hide my scars as I stared coldly at Ethan. He saw my change. His lids flickered the moment I stuffed the pain down and let the anger win.

“Yeah. We will. I gotta go.”

He hung up, licking his lips as he headed back to take his seat. Immediately, he swooped in, spinning my knees in his direction as he turned his to mirror mine. I didn’t smile at the suddenly playful gesture or look down shyly. My expression was dry, and it had him looking more confused than ever. More…it was doing something to me. Feeding me. Making me stronger. Liar. Liar. Liar! I was nothing. Not pretty. Not special. No one.

“Pearl, what’s wrong? You’re clearly upset.”

“You’re mistaken, Master. I’m fine.”

His head tilted, and he slowly shook back and forth.

“You’re lying.”

“How observant. I guess we’re even.” The flash of surprise had my armor growing. “Just get it over with. When do I leave?”

Ethan crossed his arms over his chest. Seconds passed as bile built in my throat.

“It depends. A month. Maybe two.”

My chest cramped at the nonchalant tone. He truly didn’t care. Nothing. Nothing. Stupid, stupid.

I swallowed back the tears. I pushed away the hope that I’d finally found somewhere I could stay. With someone I didn’t have to hide from. That I had even found some sort of comfort with this monster only showed me how far gone I was. He made me believe. He ignited…hope. God, he’d dangled the most rotten, evil bait before me, and I had swallowed it down on command. Him…I wanted to stay here with him . Pathetic. Why, after what I knew?

“I’ll start packing, Master. I think it’s best that I wait out my time in the cells.”

“Cells?”

I shot to my feet, not waiting around to explain. I was shaking through the need to lash out. To do anything to cover the pain and shame.

Pressure grabbed my wrist as I shot by. Ethan stood, jerking me so hard that my body crashed into his. His lips crushed to mine and for the briefest moment I met his tongue with every childish dream I’d ever let seep through my brokenness. It was his moan that burned the fantasy to the ground, triggering my body into action. I tore my head back, slapping his cheek with a force I didn’t know I had inside me. The shock had both of us freezing. Tears raced down my cheeks, and Ethan let out a rumble that fed the burning flames inside. But not the ones of anger.

Fingers pushed roughly into my curls, fisting as he hungrily met my mouth again. The need to accept my status and submit did not exist in my moment. My teeth snapped down on his lip and blood washed over my tongue. It had him hissing and pulling back.

“ God dammit, Pearl .”

He lifted me, carrying me into the bedroom. We hit the bed hard, bouncing at our fall, and I went wild.

“Marriage? Get off of me! I knew you’d give me away. I knew you were lying. Get. Off! ”

But Ethan didn’t. He restrained my arms, burying his face in my neck, sucking hard against my skin as he forced his weight to rest between my legs. He was moaning, pinning me, and tearing the straps of my dress down as his lips traveled to the hollow of my shoulder. I screamed, shaking my head back and forth, but he didn’t stop as his teeth grazed the scars, sucking harder. His tongue dipped into the missing part of my shoulder and my sobs only grew. I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. Disgust and shame wouldn’t leave me, and my mind wouldn’t grasp…how? How he could be doing this? Touching me. Tasting me. Kissing and sucking against my scars. How?

“Stop. Master, stop!”

“No.”

“Master.”

I tried wrestling my arms free from being trapped and surprisingly he let me. As he moved over the scar across my chest, running his tongue over the length, my hand shot to his hair. I held on tightly as he moved down, latching to my nipple. I cried out at the pleasure that nearly erased everything.

“I said stop.” I pulled back with almost all my strength. Hair broke free of his scalp, and still, it wasn’t enough. “You can’t do this. Ethan. Ethan O’Brien .”

His eyes lifted at his last name, and he broke the suction, but his tongue circled the hard nub as he looked at me almost contemplating some big secret.

“Stop, dammit. You’re getting married.”

“I am,” he smiled.

“Get the hell off me.”

The laugh had me pulling his hair harder. Slowly, he lifted, the smug smile only growing and feeding my new rage. I reared back, hitting my fist into his chest.

“Look at that. Quite brave of you, Pearl.”

“You’re getting rid of me anyway. Maybe I’ll die with my new Master. Maybe I’d rather just have you get it over with.”

The words fell easily. With them, a truth I couldn’t deny became exposed. Silence was an easy cover. You could lose your sense of self in the nothingness. To speak took bravery, and it was all I had left. What it pointed to was an end. An end that I was suddenly more than ready for.