Master of Death (Hollow #2)

CHAPTER 2

The next day, I watch Damon read over a document I drafted for him as his executive assistant.

I take him all in—beautiful lashes, kissable lips, narrow cheekbones with a well-defined jaw. I swallow, wondering if Damon suspects that I took Harvey back.

I feel pathetic, considering I barely know the man before me, and he’s made it clear that his feelings for me aren’t reciprocated.

He’s not even looking at me, yet I can feel him everywhere. Even his scent wraps around my body, squeezing my lungs, begging to empower me.

“How are you?” He signs the document in front of him with that raw signature of his, then his eyes and all his attention are on me. I have to remind myself to breathe.

Less than seventy-two hours ago, this man had me in bed .

Then he wished for me to let him go. To see him every single day and forget how he makes me feel. My sex is throbbing in his presence, and my heart is hammering so quick and loud I fear it might escape.

“Good. You?”

We stare at each other. Neither of us utters a word, pouring our every thought through the stare we share. All the wants and needs.

He simply nods in answer, then breaks eye contact, looking at my turtleneck.

I look away, catching the abstract painting decorating his office wall. The red, black, and the faintest of white make me feel as if I can relate to the artist, since I, too, have known pain.

I continue browsing around for the box Sutton, the woman I assume is his ex-girlfriend, left for him. From my brief search, I figured she left him two journals and a frame. I wonder why she’d gift him that or where he placed the box.

“Still at your sister’s?” he asks.

I grab the signed document and cross my arms, knowing he wants to know if I’m back with Harvey. A part of me wants to lie, to see if he’ll change his mind, until I remember the silent promise I made Harv about our last chance.

“No.” I clear my throat. “I’m back home.”

His brown eyes darken with each syllable passing through my lips. I hate myself at this moment, for being so weak, for refusing to listen to my heart, my instincts, telling me to beg this man right here.

To plead with him that what we have is more than lust. It’s more than chemistry.

It’s different with you.

I can’t say how many times I’ve repeated his words in my head.

“I see.”

The two words push away any hope I had of us figuring things out. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I’m craving, secretly desperate for, another man’s love and attention.

Why did I let myself fall for him? Why?

He goes back to his work, dismissing me, so I take that as my cue to leave.

“Wait. Have a seat.” He lifts his chin in the direction of the leather chair facing his desk.

I do as he asks, and he steps around his desk. He’s all business as he fastens the middle button of his suit, leaning on the desk with his legs settled right in front of me.

With all that he’s accomplished, it’s hard to think that he’s only five years older than me. At just twenty-nine-years old, he’s become the successful CEO of Dreygon Environmental Consulting Firm, with his name featuring the list of multimillionaires.

“You’re getting a raise.”

I shake my head. “Damon ...”

“You deserve it with all the reporting you do. I also want you to take on more responsibilities—meet clients on your own.”

I lean forward, looking up at him.

God, he’s beautiful.

“Are you doing this because you think I’ll leave?” I whisper.

He shakes his head, scraping the side of his neck with his forefinger. “I reward my employees well. You have the science degree for it, so you’ll be taking on more tasks—it’s only right. I believe in you, Gemma.”

The sultry look oozing out of his eyes is enough to make me want to turn into a pool of mush at his feet.

I could always use more money, but I’m not stupid. The pay was already high for an executive assistant position, and now he wants to give me more?

Perhaps I should see it as a blessing.

“Well, thank you.” I take the document, and without sparing him a glance, I walk out of his office with my head intact.

Because my heart is so far gone.

I finish off a few things for Damon before work settles down, and I have nothing to do other than think. Think about him, about Harvey, about what I want out of my life.

That’s how Marie finds me around noon—mindlessly staring into space, hoping for a miracle from the man behind that office door.

“Lunch?” she asks.

I don’t answer her for a few seconds, too busy staring at her WTF T-shirt, with Where’s the food? written underneath the abbreviation. “Yeah, sure.”

“I feel like eating out. Emon can’t come. The little bitch is too busy today.”

We head out to a salad bar nearby, the downtown Chicago traffic rushing around us.

“So you’re going to New York with Dreygon next week?”

I nod, eating a few bites to avoid responding. The thought of going away with Damon for a few days makes my body buzz with fear and need. We both know things are different from the last time we went to LA.

We’ve slept together since, and my body is not willing to forget.

Thoughts of Harvey’s pleas that he’ll try harder cross my mind, though I’m not convinced. I’m way past the part where I feel bad for him too. He might not have slept with Claire, but he wants to. The only thing stopping him is his pride, which has been utterly bruised since our motorcycle accident about two-and-a-half years ago.

While my sports bike ran off the road, I only sustained a concussion, a few bruises, and broken ribs. Harvey’s bike, on the other hand, collided with a car, and he ended up with an L2 spinal injury, which affected his ability to walk.

“Girls at the office are jealous, you know,” she says, slurping from her empty juice glass.

A sharp stab of jealousy filters through me. I know that with Damon’s looks, wealth, and power, women like what they see, but since my desk is located outside Damon’s office and is secluded on our floor, I’m away from all the gossip.

And I love that.

So, hearing it from Marie rubs me the wrong way, even if I know this. Will he sleep with another woman now that he’s tossed me aside?

I replay the thought in my mind well into the afternoon, until my workload picks up again.

I stay past six o’clock to draft a five-page letter for him. When I’m done, I print it off and bring it to him for his signature. He’s been tucked away in his office all day, and my heart stops when I see him.

Loose tie. Messy hair.

I push down all the good memories, knowing that it’s done. What we had is done, and I have to accept that.

“I need your signature.”

I’m standing next to him when his eyes hold mine hostage before they wander all the way down my body. He can’t do this. Push me away only to suck me back in.

I told Harvey we’d try.

When his eyes gaze into mine again, he keeps them there, even when he signs on the dotted line.

“You’re mad.”

I can’t stop the small scoff that escapes. “Observant?”

He smirks, and it’s not fair, so unfair. He shouldn’t be allowed to smirk or smile, which is almost never. It makes him impossibly hotter than he already is.

He pushes his chair back and stands, handing me the letter. “Can I be mad too?” He pushes my hair behind my ear, and I want to tell him to stop.

Damon has no limit when it comes to reeling me in and making me feel things I shouldn’t. Yet he has no tolerance for the feelings that’ll come from my heart either.

“Why are you mad?”

There’s a hint of ice in his soft chuckle. “Three fucking days and you’re already back with him.”

“It’s not—”

“It’s not easy? Yeah, I would know. Guilt is a devilish little thing, isn’t it?”

I push down the bile in my throat. He’s trying to justify pushing me away, isn’t he, acting as if we both acted out of guilt.

But it’s not the same.

“I was willing ... to leave it all behind ... for you,” I whisper softly when he grabs my hand, linking our fingers.

“You went back to him.”

I stare at our hands. “So this was what? A test?”

He shakes his head. “No, Gemma. But you sure failed miserably.”

“Damon, you take and take and then you leave. What do you want from me?”

My heart is in my throat when he closes the gap between us. My mind tries to send red-alert signals, but I live for this temptation, for the heat and lust that ignites my body from being near Damon.

I want to kiss him, to pull him close to me and kiss the hell out of his lips. But I remember the pain and the way he pushed me away.

And I know that he’ll do it again because he hasn’t dealt with his past—whatever it may be.

So, I do the next best thing. I wrap my arms around his torso, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

“When you let go of the guilt for her ... then come and find me.”

The screaming lady inside me is still numb from the heartbreak, but she’s slowly waking from hibernation, wondering what I’m doing.

The truth is I don’t even know myself. Did Harvey push Claire away for me, only for me to be here in another’s arms?

I’m asking Damon to do something I have a hard time doing myself.

He wraps his arms around me, and the sinking feeling in my chest is back. I’ll be in New York with him next week—all alone.

“Gemma.”

His word is laced with so much agony I can allow myself to make believe he actually cares for me. We could never expect to have a future together if we can’t let the past sink down into the dark sea.

So, I let go of him, clutching the letter, staring at him one more time.

“Good night, Damon.”

I ignore the hurt displayed all over his face, the tight jaw he’s sporting as I get away.

I told Harvey . . .

It almost hurts to breathe. What am I doing?

I’m glad I drafted the email to the client before sending off the letter. Once it’s sent, I shut off my computer, and my thirty-minute drive back home is accompanied by a flock of thoughts buzzing in my head, tearing me apart.

He’s it , isn’t he? I could find a million different ways to try to make Harvey happy, but Damon came into my life and wreaked havoc.

I don’t want him to leave.

I’ll keep him as my boss any day if it means I get to hear his sharp words, see his divine beauty.

I breathe deeply as I park in my and Harvey’s driveway in Clarendon Hills, Illinois.

I don’t know how long I can keep living in limbo between two different men who have both known pain. Men who both let their pasts dictate their present, whether they notice or not.

I step inside the house, catching a whiff of my turtleneck when I remove my coat, hoping to conceal Damon’s scent.

If I close my eyes, I can feel the comfort of his earlier hug, giving me the needed courage to deal with Harvey.

As I start making dinner, Harv wheels himself into the kitchen to grab some pretzels, letting me know he already ate.

I don’t ask when or with whom. He probably ate with Claire.

He retreats to his own room again—another change that resulted from the accident since we haven’t shared a bedroom since—his doing, not mine.

I make enough food for leftovers—salmon, roasted potatoes, and veggies.

I try not to think about Claire and Harv having another sit-down dinner together—most likely laughing and touching. Especially since I have no right to fight him over this. Not when I was in another man’s arms today. Not when I’m slightly relieved not to have to sit through another silent dinner with Harv.

So, I eat while watching Netflix, then shower and change into a long T-shirt, ready for the night. When I head to his room, I sit on his bed, watching him play video games.

My jaw opens slightly after he hands me the controller, but I close it, not wanting to spook him away.

“Henrik came over for a late lunch,” he says at a random point.

While I’m shooting at people on the screen, I remember how much I used to love the thrill of gaming too. And riding our motorcycles together. That was our thing— until it wasn’t. My anger dissipates when I process his words, and the fact that it wasn’t Claire he ate with reassures me. “He left early?”

He nods. “Booty call.”

“That early?” I smile. Henrik’s one of a kind.

“Yeah. You know Hen. Probably wanted to schedule two in one night.” He shakes his head, killing my player in the process.

We play for almost an hour in complete silence. A silence with an edge minus the suffocation.

One I can handle.

One that makes me go to bed that night feeling much better.